Welcome to Episode 18 of On the Ground Parenting! Hosts Sandy, Sam, and Kelly kick off the holiday season discussion by tackling the mounting pressure and commercialism surrounding Christmas and other seasonal celebrations.

The hosts explore where holiday pressure comes from: often self-imposed or rooted in a parent's own childhood experience. and offer strategies for letting go of traditions that don't serve the family. Sam shares the shift in her neurodivergent family to focusing on rest and giving practical gifts, like her son's thrilling new electric toothbrush and water flosser, which are now a running joke. Kelly introduces her family's tradition of celebrating the Winter Solstice with a simple meal and candlelight, a tradition her adult children prioritize over Christmas gifts.

The conversation centers on reducing parental anxiety by establishing new, meaningful traditions and sharing the workload. The key is to be flexible and adaptable, asking: "Is it rest that we need right now?" and involving children (even teenagers) in deciding what elements of the holiday are important and who is responsible for which tasks.

Welcome to Episode 17 of On the Ground Parenting! This week, hosts Sandy, Sam, and Kelly dive into a topic many parents grapple with: profanity, or "four-letter words". The conversation explores the challenges of kids testing out "bad words", handling public outbursts, and the power of connection when navigating big emotions.

The hosts share personal, often hilarious, stories:

• Sam discusses her older son's enjoyment of profanity and her younger son (turning 15) deciding he's now old enough to swear "at will".
• Kelly recounts her child's first use of a swear word to describe "sh***y gutters".
• Sandy recalls a memorable moment when her daughter excitedly pointed out "little bastards" (bass fish) on a dock.

The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying need behind a child’s language or behavior. The hosts strongly advocate for "Connection Before Correction" , which means staying connected to hear the whole story before shutting down the expression of feelings. The hosts also discuss co-regulating, and Sam shares how she draws strength from trying to remain calm externally to help co-regulate her children.

The episode concludes with reflections on co-regulation and the importance of using humor and calmness to build lifelong relationship skills that extend far beyond parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at [https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting]  On the Ground Parenting is a production of Muskoka Family Focus Parent Education Program. The podcast is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio. [https://redjuicestudio.com/]

Welcome to Episode 16, the powerful conclusion of our special series with the acclaimed Adlerian psychologist, Alyson Schafer! This week, hosts Sandy Inkster and Samantha Ennest-Wallis finalize their deep dive into Family Meetings and the principles of Firm and Friendly parenting.

The discussion focuses on key strategies for managing a relationship with a busy, growing child or young adult. Alyson reinforces the need for confidence to ensure consistency, comparing a parent's approach to a mouse running a maze—if the rules keep changing, the child can't learn.

The hosts explore the practical reality of parenting older kids, where a major step is "reorganizing the respect". This means granting wider boundaries and allowing older children the entire week to complete chores that aren't time-sensitive, such as dusting or mowing the lawn. Alyson shares the "Level Three" technique—a family agreement to call out disrespectful "parent speak" or nagging to maintain a culture of mutual respect.

The episode finishes with the profound realization that "it is the long game". Parents must prioritize the relational part over the managerial part of parenting, trusting that their children will learn and that the ultimate "thank you" will be the quality of the lifelong relationship they build.

To see Alyson's videos of her own family meetings—including all the grace and grit—check out this YouTube playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZco_5s7VkjR5q5KrHdyJSGQIxj_dD0sK

If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting.

On the Ground Parenting is a production of Muskoka Family Focus Parent Education Program. The podcast is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio.

Welcome to Episode 15 of On the Ground Parenting, and the third part of our special series with international best-selling author and Adlerian psychologist, Alyson Schafer! This week, hosts Sandy and Sam dive deep into one of the core concepts of Adlerian parenting: the Family Meeting.

Alyson stresses that the family meeting is a necessary platform for family democracy. It's a structured way to move away from a traditional hierarchy to a mutually respectful sharing of power. While she is a passionate advocate, Alyson is quick to point out that family meetings are hard and often involve "nasty, gnarly behavior". However, the long-term benefits—teaching kids skills like listening, problem-solving, and taking turns —are immeasurable.

The discussion highlights the huge value of these transferable skills. Alyson and Sandy share personal stories of how family meeting skills translated directly into running board meetings, managing coworkers , and even resolving roommate conflicts in university. They emphasize that issues like chores and rules are best solved through a framework of "we need a better solution" rather than "what's my discipline tactic".

The conversation also expands into a discussion of chores , cautioning that most family chores are janitorial and can make children feel like indentured servants. Alyson advocates for giving children "real jobs" that leverage their talents, such as planning a family holiday or organizing a closet.

Welcome to Episode 14 of On the Ground Parenting, the second part of our special series with international best-selling author and Adlerian psychologist, Alyson Schafer! The conversation picks up where it left off, reinforcing that our children offer us an opportunity for personal growth. Alyson continues to offer insight into the Adlerian framework, challenging the idea that more parenting information always makes things easier.

Alyson introduces a vital Adlerian concept: goal-directed behaviour. She explains that a child's so-called misbehaviour is actually a "mistaken approach" —a creative, smart way for them to solve a problem and achieve a goal, like getting more attention or delaying bedtime. She stresses that children act this way at a pre-conscious level and are not being deliberately mischievous.

The hosts conclude with the realization that we cannot keep everyone happy all the time. Alyson offers a comforting reminder that the "thank you" you're looking for from your kids won't come in the moment, but rather in the quality of the relationship you've built over the longer game.

• [04:12] The hurdle of overwhelming information and the need for an organizing framework.
• [06:00] Using the Adlerian philosophy as a "periodic table" to discern information and avoid being overwhelmed.
• [07:08] The differentiator: understanding children's behaviour as goal-directed.
• [08:18] A child's "misbehaviour" is really a creative problem-solving effort to reach a goal.
• [10:31] Why punishment doesn't work: children act at a pre-conscious level and often don't know why they do what they do.
• [11:39] Well-behaved children tend to get ignored, and off-task behaviour gets engagement.
• [13:38] The subjectivity of the child: two siblings can have the exact same experience but interpret it completely differently.
• [16:36] The longer game: the thank you will come back in the quality of the relationship and their continued desire to spend time with you.

Find Alyson's books, podcast, and free resources at alysonschafer.com.

If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting.

On the Ground Parenting is a production of Muskoka Family Focus' Parent Education Program. The podcast is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio.

Welcome to Episode 13 of On the Ground Parenting and the first part of our multi-episode run with our special guest, Alyson Schafer! Alyson is a celebrated family counselor, international author, and expert in Adlerian psychology. The hosts, Sandy Inkster and Samantha Ennest-Wallis, explore the core of effective parenting, challenging the notion that there's "no manual for raising kids".    

Alyson introduces Adlerian psychology as a "firm and friendly" parenting approach—a middle ground that respects both the child and the parent. She explains that this philosophy, pioneered by Alfred Adler, is evidence-based and counters the extremes of autocratic (firm without friendly) and permissive (friendly without firm) styles.      

The hosts share highly personal moments, discussing the challenge of overcoming shame and embarrassment when a child's behavior isn't ideal. Alyson shares her experience having children with 36 late-slips her first year of school, but explains that this was part of a long-term plan to teach her kids punctuality and responsibility. The episode reinforces that parenting is an opportunity for personal growth, pushing every button a parent has and revealing where they are most vulnerable. The conversation concludes with the hope that, through intentional practice, respectful parenting will become easier and more natural with each passing generation.

Find Alyson's books, podcast, and free resources at alysonschafer.com.

If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting.

On the Ground Parenting is a production of Muskoka Family Focus's Parent Education Program. The podcast is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio.

Welcome to Episode 12 of On the Ground Parenting. This week, host Sandy, Sam and special guest Justin consider the phrase "There's no manual for raising kids". The conversation focuses on different parenting approaches and the essential human practice of making amends when things go wrong.

The hosts explore various parenting styles—like authoritarian ("brick wall"), permissive ("jellyfish"), and authoritative ("backbone") —but ultimately agree that intentionality and mindfulness are most important. Justin shares a relatable story about losing his cool when rushed in the morning, detailing the deep hug he received from his six-year-old daughter after he took responsibility for his agitation. Samantha recounts a similar experience with her son, who calmly reminded her, "It takes as long as it takes, Mom".

The episode reinforces that accepting accountability is vital to the parent-child relationship. The hosts share practical strategies for repair, including using open-ended questions like "How can I help you?" , focusing on self-care to be a "well" parent , and exercising restraint in difficult moments.

Send us messages! https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting

https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting

On the Ground Parenting is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio 

Sandy, Sam, and exciting guest host Justin explore the joys and challenges of seasonal family gatherings like Thanksgiving. The conversation opens with reflections on the September transition and the different ways each family approaches holiday gatherings, noting that the goal is always "togetherness".

The discussion delves into the pressures that can arise during these events, from balancing multiple families to the historical complexities of the Thanksgiving holiday. The hosts emphasize the importance of flexibility and being able to respect a child’s needs, especially when dealing with neurodivergence or anxiety. Sam shares a personal story about avoiding large gatherings and finding a way for her son to participate on his own terms. Justin discusses how holidays can be an "inflection point" for resolving difficult family dynamics, and a chance to offer children dignity and agency. The episode concludes with a heartwarming "love fest" as the hosts share their gratitude for each other and the opportunity to share their parenting journeys with the world.

Welcome to Episode 9 of On the Ground Parenting. This week, host Sandy Inkster is joined by fellow parenting educator Samantha Ennest-Wallis and special guest Justin, to tackle the ever-present challenge of household chores. The episode delves into the deeper meaning behind chores, emphasizing that they instill a sense of belonging and are part of a shared family goal. The hosts reflect on their own childhood experiences with chores and how that influenced their parenting styles. Justin shares a poignant reflection on how children spell love as "T-I-M-E", and that a parent's investment in their children is necessary before they can expect them to contribute. Practical advice is also offered, such as using a laminated, step-by-step instruction sheet for complex tasks like laundry.