On The Journey with SJK

Self Love Is Not Selfish

In this episode of On The Journey with SJK, I reflect on self love: what it really means, and why so many of us still feel guilty about it. I grew up in a traditional Indian joint family, where wanting time alone was often seen as being aloof or self centred, and the person who did everything for everyone was the one who was praised. I think that kind of giving is beautiful, and it is how a support system is built. But nobody ever stopped to ask that person how they were feeling, or whether they were thriving or simply surviving. That is where I believe modern self love comes in. It is about knowing your boundaries, listening to your mind and body, and filling your day with small moments of joy, from a walk or a nap to a cup of coffee in your favourite cafe or a hike with friends.

I also share why self love is sometimes about doing less. Setting limits on social media, which keeps us scrolling through other people's highlights, and muting my WhatsApp groups were two of the most important boundaries I have set for my own focus and peace of mind. Self love is not always pretty either: it can mean a strict bedtime, leaving a party early, budgeting for the future, or spending less time with people who drain you. Above all, it is about being present, accepting yourself without constantly justifying your choices, and not comparing your timeline to anyone else's. Finally, I look at the difference between self love and selfishness, how it shifts from one culture to another, and why taking care of yourself is exactly what allows you to be there for the people you love.

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Key Highlights

🏡 Self love in traditional cultures: In a joint family, wanting space or time alone was often misread as being aloof or self centred, while constant giving was what earned appreciation.

💛 Thriving or just surviving: The people who go out of their way for everyone are rarely asked how they feel inside. Modern self love starts with checking in with yourself.

☕ Small daily acts of joy: A walk, a nap, exercise, a favourite cafe or a chocolate you love: imagine a day sprinkled with little moments like these. Self love can be shared too, from group hikes to group meditation.

📵 Self love as doing less: Setting app limits and muting busy WhatsApp groups protected my focus. Almost nothing needs an immediate reply, and a real emergency deserves a phone call.

🛏️ When self love is not pretty: Sometimes it means tough decisions: a strict bedtime, leaving a party early, budgeting, skipping a drink, or outgrowing people who no longer feel right.

🧘 Living without apology: Being present, accepting yourself, slowing down and not comparing your timeline to anyone else's are some of the most important forms of self love.

⚖️ Self love versus selfishness: Knowing that you matter is self love; thinking that only you matter is selfishness. Caring for yourself is what lets you be someone else's support system.

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Resources & Next Steps

📱 Set daily limits on the apps where you scroll the most

🔕 Mute busy group chats and ask family to call for anything urgent

📝 Plan one small act of self love into each day this week

🎧 Subscribe to On The Journey with SJK on Apple Podcasts

📸 Connect with SJK on Instagram

📧 Email: [email protected]

🎵 "Universe Within" on Apple Music

🎵 "Universe Within" on Spotify

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Apple Music

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Spotify

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YouTube Chapter Timestamps

00:00 Welcome back and today's topic: self love

00:35 Self love in traditional cultures and joint families

01:52 Thriving or just surviving

02:05 What modern self love looks like

03:19 Self love as reducing what does not serve us

04:20 Why I muted my WhatsApp groups

05:59 When self love means tough decisions

07:05 Being present and living without apology

07:50 Self love versus selfishness across cultures

09:15 Caring for yourself to care for others

Gauranga Darshan Das on Relationships Boundaries and the Art of Acceptance

In this episode of On The Journey with SJK, I sit down with Gauranga Darshan Das, an award winning spiritual author, educator and international speaker who has written over fifty books and taught thousands of students worldwide. He is known for turning the Bhagavad Gita and the Shrimad Bhagavatam into simple stories anyone can apply, and that is exactly what he does here. We begin with relationships, which he calls the juice of life, and he draws a line I keep returning to: for a selfish person every interaction is a transaction, while for a selfless person every interaction is a chance to nourish and be nourished. From there we move into the question so many of us are quietly carrying, which is how to stay kind to people who are difficult without letting them drain us.

His answer is one of the most practical things I have heard on boundaries. Milk is good and lemon is good, he says, yet you cannot mix them, and two genuine people can still be a poor combination. You do not have to hate anyone to keep a respectful distance. We then talk about mental exhaustion and the comparison trap, and he tells the story of a crow who wanted to be a swan, then a parrot, then a peacock, and discovered that every bird envies another. The second half turns to the art of acceptance: happiness and distress arrive like winter and summer, both are temporary, and equanimity means learning to tolerate the good as carefully as the bad. If you have been measuring your life against other people's highlight reels, this one is for you.

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Key Highlights

💛 Relationships as spiritual practice: Gauranga Darshan Das calls relationships the juice of life and frames them as opportunities for spiritual growth, not merely sources of comfort.

🔁 Transaction or nourishment: For a selfish person every interaction is a transaction. For a selfless person every interaction becomes mutual nourishment, because the way you approach people is usually the way they reciprocate.

🙏 What loving God actually means: Quoting his own spiritual teacher, he explains that love of God means loving God, loving what God loves, and loving those who are trying to love God.

🧭 Difficult people as teachers: Challenging relationships can teach humility, patience, tolerance and forgiveness. Tolerating someone is not the same as letting them exploit you, and protecting yourself is your own responsibility.

🧃 The milk and lemon test: Milk is good and lemon is good, yet they curdle together. Two genuine people can still be incompatible, and recognising that is the beginning of a healthy boundary.

🛡️ Distance without hatred: If a respectful distance is wise even between two genuine people, it is certainly wise with someone toxic. You protect yourself without having to hate anyone.

🐦 The crow who envied every bird: A crow wants to be a swan, then a parrot, then a peacock, and finds each one unhappy. Every bird has a strength another lacks, which is the whole answer to the comparison trap.

📱 Seeking attention, forgetting yourself: Social media rewards exaggerated expression, and in chasing attention from others people forget to give attention to themselves.

⚖️ Tolerating happiness as well as distress: The Bhagavad Gita teaches that both come and go like seasons. Happiness needs tolerating too, because it can slide from confidence into arrogance.

✈️ The red signal seen from the sky: Stuck in traffic, a red light caused him distress. From the aeroplane window the same red light meant nothing at all. Equanimity is a matter of altitude.

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Resources & Next Steps

📖 Bhagavad Gita, the source of the teachings on acceptance and equanimity discussed in this episode

📖 Shrimad Bhagavatam, referenced throughout the conversation

🌱 Govardhan Ecovillage, where Gauranga Darshan Das serves on the Administrative Council

🎧 Subscribe to On The Journey with SJK on Apple Podcasts

📸 Connect with SJK on Instagram

📧 Email: [email protected]

🎵 "Universe Within" on Apple Music

🎵 "Universe Within" on Spotify

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Apple Music

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Spotify

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YouTube Chapter Timestamps

00:00 Introducing Gauranga Darshan Das

01:42 Why relationships are a spiritual practice

02:43 Selfish transactions versus selfless nourishment

04:06 What loving God actually means

05:32 Keeping God at the centre of every relationship

06:44 Challenging relationships as teachers

08:59 Setting boundaries without hatred

09:19 The milk and lemon test for incompatibility

10:48 Mental exhaustion and the comparison trap

11:29 The crow who wanted to be every other bird

16:31 Working with your strengths, accepting your limits

17:14 Why social media exaggerates everything

19:01 The art of acceptance in the Bhagavad Gita

22:17 The traffic jam seen from an aeroplane window

25:50 Equanimity as maturity

How Cleaning Up Every Area of Your Life Unblocks the One That Is Stuck

In this episode of On The Journey with SJK, I explore what to do when one area of your life feels completely blocked. You have done everything you can think of, yet the same pattern keeps repeating and there seems to be no way forward. For a long time I believed my problems were isolated, that a work problem was only a work problem and a relationship problem was only a relationship problem. I have learned that this is not how life works. Everything is interconnected. The way you think about one thing shapes the way you think about everything, and the way you behave in one area quietly sets the tone for all the others. So when we pour all our time and energy into forcing open the one door that will not move, we often miss the point entirely.

What I have found instead is that a block in one area is the best possible invitation to clean up everywhere else. In my Buddhist practice this is called human revolution: taking your thoughts, words and actions to a higher level through small, incremental shifts. It is an internal renovation. Pausing instead of snapping. Staying neutral instead of joining the gossip. Snoozing the alarm once instead of six times. None of these look connected to the big problem, and that is exactly why they work. I share the story of a fellow member who spent years stuck on finding a life partner, then changed her approach entirely and did her human revolution at work and in her family instead. Her energy shifted, and so did her life.

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Key Highlights

🔐 The Block That Will Not Move: We all hit an area of life where the same pattern repeats no matter what we try, whether that is work, money or relationships.

🔗 Nothing in Life Is Isolated: One of my biggest mistakes was treating my problems as separate. Everything is interconnected, so how you show up in one area influences all of them.

🌱 What Human Revolution Actually Means: A concept from Nichiren Buddhism: raising your emotions, thoughts, words and actions to a higher level through small, deliberate shifts. Think of it as an internal renovation.

⏰ The Small Shifts Count Most: Pausing instead of snapping, staying neutral instead of criticising, waking up on time. The size of the change does not matter, the direction does.

💞 The Story of the Karmic Block: A fellow member spent years stuck on finding a partner. She stopped obsessing over it and cleaned up her work life and her relationship with her parents instead, and everything changed.

⚡ Energy Is What Actually Shifts: When she upgraded her discipline, focus and behaviour, her frequency changed. She became a different person, and she attracted what she had been chasing.

🧹 Start Your Own Cleanup Act: Look at your relationships, your work, your routine, even your room. No effort goes to waste, and every credit shows up somewhere.

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Resources & Next Steps

📿 Nichiren Buddhism and the practice of human revolution

📝 A cleanup audit: list every area of your life (relationships, work, health, home) and pick one small change in each

🎧 Subscribe to On The Journey with SJK on Apple Podcasts

Connect with SJK:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthejourneywithsjk/

📧 Email: [email protected]

Listen to Songs by SJK

🎵 "Universe Within" on Apple Music

🎵 "Universe Within" on Spotify

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Apple Music

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Spotify

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YouTube Chapter Timestamps

00:00 The feeling of being completely blocked

00:44 Why nothing in life is isolated

01:33 Human revolution explained

02:05 Small shifts that count as human revolution

03:33 The story of a years long karmic block

04:41 Cleaning up work, then family

05:49 The energy shift and what it attracted

06:27 No effort is ever wasted

07:41 Your own cleanup act: where to start

08:35 The karmic calculator and closing thoughts

How to Unhurt Yourself and Take Back Your Power

In this episode of On The Journey with SJK, I explore one of the most common emotions that connects us all: hurt. Through deep conversations with people from all walks of life, I've noticed that nearly everyone carries some form of hurt, whether from friends, family, colleagues, or even strangers. The big question is, can you truly unhurt yourself? I share a powerful mindset shift that changed everything for me: getting hurt is a decision. When someone says something mean or hurtful, those words belong to them, not you. You don't have to absorb their negativity or let it become part of your identity. I also introduce the grocery shopping basket game, a fun and practical way to reflect off negativity and protect your inner energy.

I also dive into the practice of detachment, inspired by a conversation with close friends in New Delhi. A friend shared a powerful insight: "everybody doesn't have to see your truth." We often get hurt because we're attached to how others perceive us, but the reality is that people view us through their own lens, shaped by their memories, experiences, and consciousness. Trying to prove yourself to someone who doesn't want to see the good in you will only send you on a downward spiral. I encourage you to build confidence from within, without relying on external validation. Finally, I explore the power of compassion, because hurt people hurt people. Choosing to respond with love and understanding, rather than bitterness, is always the better path. Let's get on and unhurt ourselves.

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Key Highlights

🛒 The Grocery Shopping Basket Game: A fun analogy for dealing with negativity. When someone drops hurtful words on you, think of them as random items in your basket that you didn't ask for and don't need to pay for.

💪 Getting Hurt Is a Decision: A radical mindset shift that puts the power back in your hands. What people say belongs to them, not you.

🛡️ Build Your Protective Shield: Imagine a shield around yourself that reflects off negativity, protecting your inner energy and space.

🔓 The Power of Detachment: Practicing detachment from people's opinions frees you from the cycle of seeking external validation.

🌍 Everyone Doesn't Have to See Your Truth: A powerful lesson shared by a friend in New Delhi. You don't have to prove who you are to anyone.

💛 Compassion Over Contempt: Hurt people hurt people. Choosing compassion for those who hurt you is the path to healing and growth.

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Resources & Next Steps

📖 Explore topics on mindfulness, self-acceptance, and personal growth on On The Journey with SJK

🎧 Subscribe to On The Journey with SJK on Apple Podcasts

Connect with SJK:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthejourneywithsjk/

📧 Email: [email protected]

Listen to Songs by SJK

🎵 "Universe Within" on Apple Music

🎵 "Universe Within" on Spotify

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Apple Music

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Spotify

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YouTube Chapter Timestamps

00:00 Welcome Back to On The Journey with SJK

00:42 Understanding Why Hurt Is Universal

Lessons from Sister BK Shivani 

Ever feel like someone else’s negativity is weighing you down? Here’s how to break free! 

Sister BK Shivani teaches that our reactions define our emotional state. When faced with difficult people, remember - their behavior doesn’t dictate your feelings.  

Practice detachment. It’s not about ignoring them, but about choosing how you respond. Your thoughts shape your reality.  

Start small—everyday interactions matter. Bless those who challenge you; it elevates your energy and mindset.  

Forgiveness isn’t for them ,it’s for your peace. Write down your feelings, let go of the hurt. You’re creating better emotional health for yourself!  

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About Sister BK Shivani

BK Sister Shivani has been a practitioner and a teacher of Rajyoga Meditation that is at the heart of the teachings of Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual Organization, since 1996.

First telecast in 2007, her widely popular television show aimed at self-transformation, Awakening With Brahma Kumaris. For over a decade, the show has empowered individuals from all walks of life. Viewers have overcome mental stress, depression, addictions, low self-esteem and unhappy relationships, by taking personal responsibility for their emotions.

Since 2017 she has been appointed as a Goodwill Ambassador by the World Psychiatric Association. In March 2019, BK Shivani was awarded the prestigious Nari Shakti Puraskaar, the highest civilian honor for women in India, for her role in transforming human behaviours. 

Connect with Sister BK Shivani

https://www.brahmakumaris.com/bkshivani/

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Resources & Next Steps

📖 Explore topics on mindfulness, self-acceptance, and personal growth on On The Journey with SJK

🎧Subscribe to On The Journey with SJK on Apple Podcasts

Connect with SJK:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthejourneywithsjk/

📧 Email: [email protected]

Listen to Songs by SJK

🎵"Universe Within" on Apple Music

🎵"Universe Within" on Spotify

🎵"Misaligning my Destiny" on Apple Music

🎵"Misaligning my Destiny" on Spotify

📋 Exercise 4 Spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1WCWg2aLRCGwC_XyPyhVg69TLuywuL7eZzL_RLv96MXA/edit?usp=sharing

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How Manifestation Really Works with Emma Mumford

In this episode of On The Journey with SJK, I sit down with Emma Mumford, the UK's top manifestation and law of attraction expert, to break down what manifesting actually is and why so many people struggle to make it work. Emma is the host of the number one spirituality podcast on iTunes, Aligned Abundance, the bestselling author of Positively Wealthy, Hurt Healing Healed, and Manifesting Rituals, and a trusted voice in the personal growth space. Together we revisit the core principles of manifesting, the law of attraction, and why understanding the foundations matters far more than chasing the outcome.

We get into the most common mistakes people make when they begin manifesting, why vibrational alignment matters, and how toxic positivity actually blocks your desires from showing up. Emma shares her honest take on honoring your emotions, the role of energetic blocks, and the practical tools she returns to again and again, including EFT tapping, gentle breath work, time in nature, and small acts of self regulation. Whether you are brand new to this work or have been on the journey for a while, this conversation offers a grounded, real, and reassuring look at how manifesting fits into a healthy, abundant life.

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Key Highlights

✨ What manifestation really is: Emma takes us back to the basics of the law of attraction and explains why every manifesting journey has to start with understanding the principles before chasing the outcome.

🪞 Why most people struggle to manifest: We unpack the most common mistakes (forcing, gripping, fear based wanting) and why your energy and vibration matter more than the words you say.

💖 The toxic positivity trap: Emma shares why pretending to be okay actually slows down your manifestations and how honoring your real emotions is the fastest path forward.

🌊 Letting feelings move through you: A grounded take on emotional processing, why suppressed feelings stay stuck energetically, and how to give yourself the time and space to actually feel.

🧘🏽‍♀️ Practical tools that actually help: From EFT tapping to gentle breath work, walks in nature, and Epsom salt baths, Emma walks through the simple practices she uses to regulate and reset.

🌟 Building a stable, abundant vibration: Why authentic alignment beats forced positivity every time, and how steady self honoring creates a manifesting practice that lasts.

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Resources & Next Steps

📖 Positively Wealthy by Emma Mumford

📖 Hurt Healing Healed by Emma Mumford

📖 Manifesting Rituals by Emma Mumford

🎙️ Aligned Abundance Podcast

🌿 EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping

🎧 Subscribe to On The Journey with SJK on Apple Podcasts

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YouTube Chapter Timestamps

00:00 Welcome back and introducing Emma Mumford

01:30 What is manifestation, really

03:30 Law of attraction principles and why basics matter

05:30 Why money and relationship manifestations stall

07:30 Needing nothing attracts everything

10:00 How beliefs get programmed by age seven

12:00 Working through your most challenging manifestation

14:00 The universe gives in layers, gentle inner work

16:00 Talking to your inner child and self compassion

18:00 Letting go of toxic do do do positivity

20:00 Energy, identity, and embodiment shifts

22:00 Becoming the version of you who already has it

26:00 Expecting the best while honoring being human

28:00 Closing refl

In this episode of On The Journey with SJK, I reflect on the profound lessons that motherhood and the postpartum phase have taught me. Instead of focusing on the commonly discussed postpartum depression, I introduce a new perspective I call postpartum acceptance, a mindset centered on honoring your feelings, embracing the imperfect days, and giving yourself grace through one of life's biggest transitions.

I walk through five key lessons that motherhood has reinforced for me, and that apply to all of us, whether we are new parents or not. From learning to accept what you're feeling without rushing to fix it, to understanding that every day cannot be perfect, to practicing kindness and compassion toward others, to trusting your instincts even when the world tells you to seek external validation. And perhaps most importantly, I reflect on the power of slowing down and enjoying the moment. Life is not a race. It's a beautiful journey. So fall in love with where you are right now.

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Key Highlights

💜 Postpartum Acceptance Over Postpartum Depression: I introduce the concept of postpartum acceptance, a reframe that encourages new mothers to honor their feelings rather than rush through them. Whether you feel ecstatic or overwhelmed, the key is to accept it and give yourself grace.

🌟 Every Day Cannot Be Perfect: From obsessing over my baby's nap schedule to realizing that some days just won't go as planned, I learned that progress matters more than perfection. This lesson applies far beyond motherhood.

💛 Be Kind and Compassionate: I reflect on how important it is to be a cheerleader for the people around you, especially new mothers. We never know what battles someone is fighting, and compassion can make all the difference.

🧭 Trust Your Instincts: Motherhood taught me how powerful our intuition really is. Whether it's knowing something is wrong with your baby or making big life decisions, your gut is your best guide. Stop seeking external validation and start trusting yourself.

✨ Slow Down and Enjoy the Moment: We often pin our happiness to future milestones, but life is about savoring the small moments. I share how motherhood taught me to stop being destination focused and fall in love with the journey itself.

⏳ Your Timeline Is Uniquely Yours: Comparisons steal our joy. Everyone has a different story and a different timeline. I encourage listeners to stop comparing and embrace their own path.

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Resources & Next Steps

📖 Explore topics on mindfulness, self-acceptance, and personal growth on On The Journey with SJK

🎧 Subscribe to On The Journey with SJK on Apple Podcasts

Connect with SJK:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthejourneywithsjk/

📧 Email: [email protected]

Listen to Songs by SJK

🎵 "Universe Within" on Apple Music

🎵 "Universe Within" on Spotify

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Apple Music

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Spotify

📋 Exercise 4 Spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1WCWg2aLRCGwC_XyPyhVg69TLuywuL7eZzL_RLv96MXA/edit?usp=sharing

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YouTube Chapter Timestamps

00:00 Welc

In this enlightening conversation, Tara Lee, a renowned yoga teacher, shares her insights on the multifaceted practice of yoga. The discussion begins with a personal reflection on the speaker's journey with yoga, to a profound practice that encompasses physical, mental, and spiritual dimensions. Tara emphasizes the importance of meditation and breathwork as integral components of yoga, explaining how they help manage stress and enhance focus in our fast-paced lives. The conversation delves into the concept of Dharma, or life purpose, and how yoga can guide individuals in discovering their true paths. Additionally, Tara discusses the role of yoga in addressing energy blockages and promoting overall well-being. The episode concludes with practical tips for incorporating yoga into daily life, making it accessible for everyone, regardless of their experience level.

Tara is internationally recognised as one of Britain’s foremost yoga teachers. She specialises in Vinyasa flow yoga, pregnancy yoga and postnatal yoga. She’s also a popular teacher of teachers, running intensive courses for established instructors several times a year. Tara regularly appears on television, in magazines and online and has been named one of the UK’s top five teachers by the London Evening Standard. Her following extends beyond her physical practice in London thanks to her acclaimed line of yoga videos, which grew from her 2008 bestselling DVD, Pregnancy Health Yoga. Tara’s range of yoga videos have regularly featured in the Amazon top 20 bestselling fitness DVDs and she has sold over 150,000 worldwide.

Today, yoga is a lot more than just a physical practice for Tara. Her deeper focus is on breath work and meditation, and the principles and wisdom of yoga permeate every aspect of her life. Her mission is to inspire students with her knowledge and experience so they too can access a life of purpose, happiness and freedom.

Tara guides students through themed classes that incorporate meditations, breath work and powerful poses strung together in creative, dynamic sequences. The yoga she teaches is both true to its ancient roots and entirely relevant to a 21st Century lifestyle. Her classes (both in person and online) leave her students feeling stronger, more mindful and bursting with vitality.

Tara is a mother of two children and lives in West London.

Resources:

Try out Tara Lee’s in person or online classes through: 

https://taraleeyoga.com/

Takeaways

• Yoga is a holistic practice that includes physical, mental, and spiritual elements.
• Meditation is a key aspect of yoga, often more important than physical postures.
• Breathwork is essential for accessing the nervous system and managing stress.
• Yoga helps individuals find their purpose or Dharma in life.
• Practicing yoga can relieve emotional and physical blockages in the body.
• Discipline in yoga can lead to greater freedom and clarity in life.
• Yoga promotes balance between strength and flexibility, essential for long-term health.
• Incorporating yoga into daily routines can enhance overall well-being.
• Yoga can be practiced in various forms, making it accessible to everyone.
• Online resources can help individuals practice yoga at their convenience.

Chapters 

00 The Journey of Yoga: A Personal Reflection

02:36 Understanding the depth of Yoga: Beyond Asanas

06:25 Yoga as a Tool for Stress Management

14:22 Finding Purpose Through Yoga

19:05 Yoga and Energy Blockages: Healing Through Practice

24:36 Practical Tips for Incorporating Yoga into Daily Life

Podcast Summary

Join us on On the Journey with SJK as we explore the powerful impact of our thoughts and words on our lives. We discuss the creative power of our thoughts, urging you to become aware of where your mental energy is directed. Imagine your mind as a pie chart filled with aspects like work, relationships, and health. By focusing on positive experiences, we can expand those areas and manifest the life we desire.

Listen in as we address universal challenges such as stress, relationship struggles, and business hurdles, emphasizing the importance of overcoming these obstacles to make room for positivity and growth. We highlight the significance of surrounding ourselves with supportive individuals and engaging in activities that bring joy. Consider your thoughts as a form of currency; spend it wisely on uplifting endeavors. Our conversation is filled with motivational insights to energize the great things in life, encouraging you to take control of your mental space and nurture a hopeful outlook for your journey ahead.

​​Connect with SJK:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthejourneywithsjk/
• Email: [email protected] 

Link to the Exercise 4 spreadsheet Format: 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1WCWg2aLRCGwC_XyPyhVg69TLuywuL7eZzL_RLv96MXA/edit?usp=sharing

We are often our own harshest critics, replaying negative thoughts and doubts in our minds. But what if we could shift that inner dialogue to one of encouragement and self-compassion? Silencing self-criticism isn’t about ignoring challenges or dismissing growth—it’s about transforming the way we speak to ourselves, just as we would support a close friend. By practising mindfulness, curiosity, and intentional self-talk, we can rewire our brains to be more compassionate, resilient, and confident.

In this episode, we explore practical, science-backed strategies with Dr. Rachel Turow to help you quiet your inner critic, reframe negative thoughts, and cultivate kinder, more empowering self-talk. Dr. Turow is the author of The Self-Talk Workout: Six Science-Backed Strategies to Dissolve Self-Criticism and Transform the Voice in Your Head and has over 20 years of experience working with individuals struggling with self-criticism and related challenges.

She runs a clinical psychology practice in Seattle, Washington, and serves as an adjunct faculty member at Seattle University and the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. Her work focuses on helping individuals develop effective strategies for managing stress and building new coping and resilient skills. A sought-after speaker, Dr. Turow frequently presents to local, national, and international audiences on topics such as stress, trauma, mindfulness, resilience, and self-compassion. Her writing has been featured in top publications, including Oprah Daily and Psychology Today.

Tune in!

What You Will Learn:

• [00:23] Intro and a bit about our guest today, Dr. Rachel Turow 
• [03:24] Techniques to transition out of the default network mode 
• [06:05] How to use meditation to shift your mind from default network mode
• [08:14] Dr. Turow's top strategies for improving self-talk 
• [11:56] How to practice loving and kindness meditation (LKM) on the go
• [13:30] The RAIN method and how it can help improve self-talk
• [18:40] Ways to transform difficult emotions through self-compassion 
• [23:12] How meditation can help reduce self-judgement  
• [25:09] A quick recap on tools to improve self-talk 
• [26:52] Wrap up and end of the show 

Standout Quotes:

•  “People can train their mind to spend more time in the task-positive network where we’re more intentional; time spent in this network is associated with better well-being.” [04:28]
• “Meditation is one of the most effective practice strategies for training your mind.” [06:06]
• “Curiosity is a very effective antidote to self-criticism and judgement; it’s a very loving way of dealing with something difficult and allowing it to be there.” [15:14]
• “If your mind wanders a hundred times, that is a hundred opportunities to practice redirecting kindly.” [25:00]

Resources Mentioned: 

The Self-Talk Workout by Rachel Turow: https://www.amazon.com/Self-Talk-Workout-Science-Backed-Strategies-Self-Criticism/dp/1611808480

Connect with SJK:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthejourneywithsjk/
• Email: [email protected] 

Dr. Rachel Turow

Website: https://www.rachelturow.com/