Join me and life coach Sara Smeaton as we talk about invitations to change, curiosity and judgement, what we can learn from snails (!) and how we can lean into joy even as we challenge ourselves to stretch and grow. 

Sara is a certified professional coach and facilitator who helps midlife women follow their dreams after forty.

"You have as much possibility in front of you as you have experience behind you. That's what gives you so much power."

https://sarasmeaton.com/

Mary-Anne is the executive director of the Ontario Association of Family Mediators and has her own mediation practice as well. She brings her passion, love and joy to everything she does and everyone she meets. We talk about the conversations she is grateful she had with her brother who passed away five years ago and the ones she regrets not having. She wishes they had talked about if one of them died early or unexpectedly so that he would have known how much she would continue to love him after he passed away, how she would keep him safe and keep their relationship alive. 

Bernie Mayer, an icon in the global mediation field, a scholar, a writer, a practitioner, a teacher, a mentor and a friend, joins me today to talk about his book The Neutrality Trap, Disrupting and Connecting for Social Change.  Earlier books include: The Conflict Paradox, Seven Dilemmas at the Core of Disputes, The Dynamics of Conflict, Beyond Neutrality, and Staying With Conflict.

We talk about disrupting and connecting around larger societal issues as well as in our families and intimate relationships. Systems don't like change. We need both disruption to spark change and connection to direct and navigate it. 

Radhika is an a lawyer turned inner wellness teacher and personal and business alignment coach.

In today's episode, Radhika talks about bringing unconditional love to her work.

"I love you when you're angry. I love you when you're sad. I love you when you're happy. Because I think as children, we didn't all get that. It was like, stop crying. Why are you so angry? What's wrong with you? Right? And we were conditioned to go, oh, okay. Those parts of me are not welcome. So as adults now, half of the work that I do not most of the work that I do with my coaching clients is being a space of unconditional love and holding them in the most highest vision so that nothing changes on my face, because I love them no matter what."

Radhika also shares her experience in sitting with her best friend and mentor in her final weeks. 

"She said to me, is there anything you want to say to me? And I said to her, nothing I've never said before. And I said, what about you? Is there anything you need to say to me or want to say to me? And she said, nothing I've not said many times before. And I thought, what a moment to have. Because it meant that all along we were telling each other all the things we had already said. Everything. And I'm so grateful.

There was nothing left to be said because we had said it all. And so that would be my share with whoever's listening to say it now. Don't wait. Say it over and over. Make it so clear that if you ever had a moment like that, you wouldn't even need to say anything."

To find out more about Rad or to get in touch: 
​https://www.consciousnesswithrad.com/

Victoria Smith is a mediator, collaborative lawyer, author and teacher. She has been ten years ahead of me our whole lives, going to the same elementary school, junior high (winning the same awards), high school (being on student council) and law school! We discovered all of this on our first friendship date. Join us as we connect around the work we do, the conversations we have with our children and the profound end of life conversations Victoria and her family had with her mother-in-law.

"I will still say honestly, the toughest, difficult conversations I have are with the people I love the most."

To learn more about Victoria:  https://www.resolvedr.com/

Dr. Jody Carrington, talks about her best selling book Feeling Seen, Reconnecting in a Disconnected World.

We talk about boundaries being a pre-requisite for empathy and how sometimes we need to bump against or go past our boundaries to know where they are. We talk about finding 'our people,' the importance of a good belly laugh, and how "the most authentic parts of ourselves come out in moments of joy."  We talk about the difference between grief and mourning and how to show up and support the people we love when they are facing loss. "Sometimes in our most profound senses of pain what we don't need is words."

This is a don't miss up close and personal chat with the warm, funny, enthusiastic and wise Dr. Jody!

For more information about Dr. Jody Carrington: https://www.drjodycarrington.com/

Barbara Hummel, a couples and family counsellor and mediator from Cincinnati, Ohio, talks about how to stay present and listen from your heart. Paying attention to and getting curious about the differences between us can actual make us closer and more connected.  She explores how to balance the need of the person who needs to process out loud in the moment with the need of the person who needs to step back and process internally. 

"But we do have different perspectives and we do have different opinions. And sometimes I think a conversation is more about, well, I need you to accept that I'm right. And sometimes the conversation is successful when we acknowledge and respect and accept our differences. Now, we might make progress, but once our differences are a source of threat or annoyance, we're no longer making space for that connection."

Around the 23 minute mark she talks about the 6 hour rule!

Nicolle is a mindfulness coach for lawyers having practiced law for 25 years both in South Africa and Canada.

She talks about her journey from lawyer to mindfulness coach and her hopes for healing a wounded system. 

"And I just think that what we don't realize is sometimes we're not helping our clients because we aren't even aware of our own triggers, our own biases, our own stories that are impacting what's happening in front of us."

She tells a story of being a small girl in South Africa and watching her grandmother courageously stand up for what she knew was right.

"For her, that person was a suffering human being who should not have had any of those experiences just because they happened to be born a certain colour in a certain country in a certain decade or a certain time. My grandmother did the most amazing things. Like, she's just my hero."

To find out more about Nicolle or to get in touch with her: https://lotus-law.com/

Pam is a therapist and a chef and the founder of Fanjoy Culinary and Wellness Centre. In today's episode, she talks about using food as a therapeutic tool to start conversations in the kitchen that might be more difficult to have somewhere else.

"So what we really do is provide an alternative way to have safe conversations while also looking at how food can bring people together to feed, connection and nourish the body at the same time."

Pam talks about important conversations needing to be a series of conversations not a 'one and done' approach.

"I mean, it's like when you make a dish, a curry, right? It always tastes better on the second day. Once you put your ingredients together, you get everything stirring in the pot and then you let it sit for a while and you come back and it's more flavorful. The second day, you can add a little bit of rice to it. You can serve it up a different way. I think of conversations that way too. And the more we create space, the safer the other person engaged in the conversation."

Pam's conversation tips: Check in with the other person if it is a good time to start an important conversation and then take it in bite sized pieces and come back to it over a series of conversations.

"If you bake a cake, it might be your favourite carrot cake, but you can't have the whole thing all at once or you're going to feel sick. Right. Same thing with conversations. How can you cut it into reasonable pieces so that you can enjoy it over the whole month and actually have someone asking for more when they come back?"

To find out more about Pam and the work she is doing or to get in touch with her:
https://www.fanjoycentre.com/