In 2022, everything changed: I became an emigrant, twice. First “internal”, refusing to accept the meat grinder unleashed by my homeland. Then “outside”, leaving the country for the first time in my life after the mobilization was announced. For the next six months I was overwhelmed by new experiences: country, culture, people, economy, legislation, REAPER, birthday alone, broken relationships, identity crisis, life threatening, urgent relocation, new year visiting… And then – prolonged alienation in self-isolation with remote work in complete solitude and comfortable living with familiar rituals.
This composition arose spontaneously when I realized that I was listening to the pattern in a loop for several hours in a row during household chores. Something that sounds in the background without demanding attention. Quiet, steady, constant, unobtrusively long. The soundtrack of days and weeks and months in a place in which, no matter how hard I try to integrate, I will never be my own.
