Tell us a little about you. Your current role at One Life and your experience and education in counseling.
I have been The Groups Director at our East campus for the past 2 years.
I have a Masters in Christian Counseling from Gordon-Conwell. I have several years experience in private practice counseling in WV, SC, PA, and a little bit here at OL.
I also served as a Groups Director at a church in SC.
So you focus and think about groups and connections here at One Life, first off why is that something that is important to you and why should it be important to other people?
It’s important to me because I see the value and benefit that comes to those who are in connection with others. It improves our mental health and helps us realize that we’re not alone in a lot of the things we all struggle with.
Without connection, things like anxiety, depression and addiction only increase.
How have you seen your life change through a relationship / friendship / connection?
I have been in several Groups since High School. In each group, I have seen the Group Members support each other through all of life’s circumstances- addiction, marital infidelity, infertility, new marriages, coronavirus, sickness, marital conflict, job loss, moving, singleness. The group ends up serving in my opinion as an incubator to help people walk through those circumstances and point them to the God who can give them peace in their circumstances. I’ve seen group members assist with a move, or offer support during a trying time of their marriage. God never promised us life would be without its hardships, but what a Group does is help give support and love when it’s most needed.
I met my husband through the group I was in when I was single.
When we lived in Philly, we were in a group who happened to all be transplants. So our group became like a little family for each other.
In the current Group I’m in, we support each other through the ups and downs of our marriage.
Are there right ways to connect with other people and wrong ways?
Two types of people:
Introverts and Extroverts
Right ways: For the shy person - Trying out a group or Team to see if it’s a good fit for you. It may not be a good fit for you and that’s OK. Keep trying until you find one where you feel comfortable.
Opening up at your own pace as you trust people.
For the extrovert: Respecting other people’s physical and emotional boundaries and being cautious of over-sharing.
Wrong ways - not respecting someone’s physical or emotional boundaries. If you see a person trying to avoid you, you probably need to back off.
For the Introvert - if you never share anything, it makes it very difficult for people to get to know you. So maybe find someone in the group who you trust and you feel comfortable sharing with, then eventually you may feel comfortable sharing with the whole group.
How can being in community with other people help us restore?
Being in community with others give us built in accountability. By sharing our lives with others, we have put ourselves out there and said in a sense, “I want you to ask me the hard questions.” “When I tell you I’m struggling in my marriage or I don’t know what to do with my teenage kids” I want you to ask me the hard stuff. I want you to say “how can I help?” I want you to say “What are you doing to improve your relationships?” “What are you doing to build bridges with your kids?” Encourage them in the good stuff. Provide support and resources in the hard stuff.
Also, in all aspects of recovery, it’s known that community helps people recover from their addictions and stay sober. We all have addictions - whether that’s to food, Netflix, shopping, alcohol, drugs, pornography, unhelathy people. We just have to care enough to ask people how they’re really doing and steer them towards healthier outlets.
Doing the hard work of Restoring means taking a look at what you are struggling with. It may be a...
