One Year of Thrive Singles Blog!

Today’s post is different from the posts I’ve written so far. This post marks the one year birthday of Thrive Singles Blog! It also makes about six months of the Thrive Singles Podcast, and about three months of episodes on the Thrive Singles Blog YouTube channel. Today I want to share a little more of my story with you, take a look back over the past year, and share my vision for the future.

My Story

Those of you here locally who were a part of Thrive Singles Ministry or my DivorceCare group know that I was married for about sixteen years, got divorced around forty years old, then lived as a midlife single for almost seven years.

What you may not know is that I was the last one in my circle of friends to get married and the only one at that time to get divorced. That being the case, I hated being single. I hated being single longer than my friends in my younger years and especially hated being single again in midlife.

So, when I came up with the tagline “Stop hating being single. Learn to thrive.” I was speaking not only as someone who had seen singles struggle but someone who personally hated being single longer than I had hoped and then being single again.

The things I write about are the things that helped me go from that person who hated being single to someone who learned to thrive as a single. Now, as I write each blog post and record each podcast episode, I sincerely hope that what I write and say is helpful to you. Because if someone like me can go from hating to thriving, so can you.

What I Believe

I believe, based on my own experience, the experiences of others I have observed, and all the books I have read, that how you think about your singleness and what you do while you are single makes a huge difference in your quality of life as a single person. It also has a huge impact on whether you will get married or not and what type of a marriage you will have if you do.

How to Thrive

Let me sum up my thoughts about how to thrive as a single person in a few short paragraphs.

Change your way of thinking about singleness

The first step is to make a conscious decision that you can and will stop hating being single and learn to be happy and content. I know that sounds overly simplistic and cliché, but it is a vital first step – get your mind right. Singleness is not a punishment to be endured. It can be an awesome time of personal growth and unique opportunities.

Change how you think about yourself

One is a whole number. You are a whole person – an individual, whole and complete. You are not half a person in search of your other half. Those of you who are Christians should especially realize that you are complete and whole in Christ. Neediness and desperation do not lead to good relationships. Good relationships form when two whole and complete individuals get together.

Become truly single

One of the biggest mistakes I see singles make is not taking time to just be single. Don’t rush to get paired up. Stop dating for a while and just be single. Become who you are. Become confident in who you are. That takes time. Don’t rush it. Learn to be happy and content without any romantic or sexual entanglement before you attempt another relationship.

Change the way you date

One of the other huge mistakes I see single people make is serial dating. If you want better results, stop doing what you have been doing. Do something different. Date differently. Don’t date – as in forming some sort of ‘marriage lite’. Date – as in spending some quality time with different types of people and having a little nonromantic, platonic fun while getting a feel for if that person might make a good spouse. And, be sure to leave everyone you go out with a little better than they were before they spent time with you.

Do It