When due diligence vanishes and programs quietly disappear, the trio turns to the only force still producing answers: a mysterious Spreadsheet Oracle who claims Excel itself has foretold the merger’s fate. As chicken‑noodle prophecies collide with shifting timelines, ghosted programs, and a witness convinced seagulls are running surveillance for the College Employer Council, the investigators follow a trail of missing minutes, cold rooms, and silent campuses to uncover the one question no one seems able to answer—who, exactly, is doing the diligence?

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

Special thanks to the following:

Music:

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

 Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Hall Pass – Riverside

Ocean Blue - Riverside

Haunt Couture - Riverside

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884

Sound Effects:

Key press – dragon-studio-single-key-press-393908

Typing – freesound_community-keyboard-typing 36490

Error - freesound_community-error-96492

Whoosh – soundreality-whoosh-large-sub-384631

Marker sound – lesiakower-highlighter-on-paper-highlighting-385295

Knock – freesound_community-knock-knock-knock-40474

Louder knock - freesound_community-knocking-on-window-99754

Zoom – racehlribeiro71-zoom-connecting-to-meeting-504404

Rustling bushes – freesound_community-057988_rustling-bushes-88885

Clock – reddog0607-clock-ticking-365218

Chair – freesound_community-chair-squeak-100546

Coffee cup - freesound_community-putting-a-cup-on-a-table-and-stirring-in-it-999831

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.