Given the news release claims both boards have approved an “integration framework,” the trio sets out to find the document—only to discover that no one, including the deans allegedly aligning to it, has ever seen it. Their search leads through conspiracy bushes, Minecraft‑hosted PDFs, and a director building strategic‑plan domino towers in a windowless office. As missing reports, ignored legislation, and pre‑due‑diligence layoffs pile up, the investigators uncover a troubling pattern: the only thing more elusive than the framework is the consultation that was supposed to come with it.

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

Local 417 would also like to recognize the following:

Music:

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Hall Pass – Riverside

Haunt Couture – Riverside

The Happy Pup Strut - Riverside

Darkened Treeline - Riverside

Evidence Room – Riverside

Sound Effects:

TV Static and Glitch and Power On Real Audio Sound Effects by DudeAwesome -- https://freesound.org/s/790279/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Button – soundreality-button-202966

Door open – freesound_community-door-open-and-close-with-a-creak 102380

Dominoes being placed – freesound_community-domino-stone-on-the-table-87997

Drop papers - freesound_community-drop-stack-of-paper-whoomp-47048

Dominoes falling - freesound_community-dominoes-falling-47488

Page flipping – freesound_community-papers-flapping-intense-79998

Marker sound – lesiakower-highlighter-on-paper-highlighting-385295

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

When due diligence vanishes and programs quietly disappear, the trio turns to the only force still producing answers: a mysterious Spreadsheet Oracle who claims Excel itself has foretold the merger’s fate. As chicken‑noodle prophecies collide with shifting timelines, ghosted programs, and a witness convinced seagulls are running surveillance for the College Employer Council, the investigators follow a trail of missing minutes, cold rooms, and silent campuses to uncover the one question no one seems able to answer—who, exactly, is doing the diligence?

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

Special thanks to the following:

Music:

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

 Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Hall Pass – Riverside

Ocean Blue - Riverside

Haunt Couture - Riverside

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884

Sound Effects:

Key press – dragon-studio-single-key-press-393908

Typing – freesound_community-keyboard-typing 36490

Error - freesound_community-error-96492

Whoosh – soundreality-whoosh-large-sub-384631

Marker sound – lesiakower-highlighter-on-paper-highlighting-385295

Knock – freesound_community-knock-knock-knock-40474

Louder knock - freesound_community-knocking-on-window-99754

Zoom – racehlribeiro71-zoom-connecting-to-meeting-504404

Rustling bushes – freesound_community-057988_rustling-bushes-88885

Clock – reddog0607-clock-ticking-365218

Chair – freesound_community-chair-squeak-100546

Coffee cup - freesound_community-putting-a-cup-on-a-table-and-stirring-in-it-999831

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

When the trio investigates the deserted administrative floor where the merger was supposedly born, they uncover a Bermuda Triangle of missing managers, a dean who speaks exclusively in corporate fog, and a binder so large it may be sentient. As faculty whisper through empty hallways and timelines contradict themselves, one truth emerges with suspicious clarity: the presidency of the new college was decided long before the “planning” ever began.

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

Special thanks to the following:

Music:

Delicates - Riverside

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Darkened Treeline - Riverside

Evidence Room – Riverside

Hall Pass – Riverside

Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884

trueCrime-underscore-high - Riverside

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Sound Effects:

Elevator Door – freesound_community-elevator-ding-door-opens-noisy-

Footsteps - freesound_community-footsteps-in-a-hallway-47842

Drill – magiaz-drill-337556

Open map – freesound_community-unfold-a-map-46452

Marker sound – lesiakower-highlighter-on-paper-highlighting-385295

Footsteps – freesound_community-indoor-footsteps-6385

Door open – freesound_community-door-open-and-close-with-a-creak 102380

Electronic door – freesound_community-electronic-door-opening-102496

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

Series Premiere — “A Merger Most Foul”

When a sudden, secretive college merger throws two colleges into chaos, three faculty sleuths launch a satirical, true-crime-style podcast to find out who is pulling the strings. First up: the trio chases a rapidly shifting paper trail, interviews a witness who learned of the merger on TikTok, and uses a vintage union Ouija board to summon the phantom spirit of "Due Diligence."

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

Season 1 – Episode 1: “A Merger Most Foul”

Music:

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Openmindaudio-crime-drama-intro-dust-on-the-evidence-shelf-part-2-preview-492685

Darkened Treeline - Riverside

Sound Effects:

Page flipping – freesound_community-papers-fllapping-intense-79998

Record scratch – Alexis_gaming_cam-vinyl-stop-34938

Message ding – universfield-system-notification-199277

Explosion – lordsonny_two-debris-break-3-457508

Pages – freesound_community-paper-66648

Door open – freesound_community-door-open-and-close-with-a-creak 102380

Footsteps – freesound_community-indoor-footsteps-6385

Magic 8 ball – freesound_community-water-bottle-shake-33734

Possessed speaker – ElevenLabs_2026-06-01T22_35_39_Eva-Futuristic

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

Episode 26 — Leaning Into Summer

This month, CAAT Tales is doing something new. We’re launching Only Mergers in the Building, a five‑part parody series inspired by the drama and uncertainty across our sector. Yes, it’s fictional. Yes, it’s satire. And yes… it hits close to home.

In today’s episode:

• 🎭 Parody Premiere: Only Mergers in the Building — Episode One: "A Merger Most Foul"
• 🏛️ Christina Decarie: Reflections on her final AGM and more than a decade of leadership
• 🐾 Dale Gartshore: Updates from the first solo divisional meeting for part‑time and sessional faculty
• 🔥 Fireside Chat: Details on the June 10th session

New parody episodes drop every Wednesday in June.
Stay with us — and let’s step into this summer series together.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes. While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

Thank you to the following for your Royalty-free sound effects mostly via Pixabay:

Only Mergers In The Building - Season 1 – Episode 1: “A Merger Most Foul”

Music:

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Openmindaudio-crime-drama-intro-dust-on-the-evidence-shelf-part-2-preview-492685

Darkened Treeline - Riverside

Sound Effects:

Page flipping – freesound_community-papers-fllapping-intense-79998

Record scratch – Alexis_gaming_cam-vinyl-stop-34938

Message ding – universfield-system-notification-199277

Explosion – lordsonny_two-debris-break-3-457508

Pages – freesound_community-paper-66648

Door open – freesound_community-door-open-and-close-with-a-creak 102380

Footsteps – freesound_community-indoor-footsteps-6385

Magic 8 ball – freesound_community-water-bottle-shake-33734

Possessed speaker – ElevenLabs_2026-06-01T22_35_39_Eva-Futuristic

CAAT Tales (the podcast) theme: Dario_Benedetti_Sunburst_instrumental

YouTube Code for Music clearance: NPXY0YQVYZIJHMOW

Join host Miles Mercer and his companions Alex and Taylor as they explore the biggest mystery to hit SLC in years: Who decided this merger? Why now? And why is there so much contradiction? In this five-episode mini season, they explore a tangled web of missing memos, corrupted chronologies, and vanished programs leads to the discovery of a sinister corporate takeover. The team is determined to uncover the truth.

Thank you to the following for your Royalty-free sound effects via Pixabay:

Theme - Your Case is Closed by Alex Bess - 433524

Freesound_community-drop-stack-of-paper-whoomp-47948

Freesound_community-flourescent-light-29596

Freesound_community-footsteps-in-a-hallway-47842

son_duquotidient-vibration-telephone-391097

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes. While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

This episode brings together three conversations that capture exactly where we are as a sector: in transition, under pressure, and building new tools to support each other through another year of profound change.

We begin with Local 417 President Christina Decarie and Vice President Tabatha Rutledge as Christina prepares to deliver her final President’s Report after 22 years at the college and nearly a decade in union leadership. They speak candidly about exhaustion, succession, layoffs, the looming merger, and why member involvement is now a matter of survival.

Next, we look to the future of union work with steward John Holmes, creator of the Virtual Steward—a privacy‑protected AI system already transforming how we track cases, protect timelines, and support members.

Finally, we check in with Local 418 PresidentAmanda Shaw for an update on support staff, the merger, and the ongoing ripple effects from last year’s layoffs.

This is an episode about legacy, innovation, and the work ahead.

00:00 — Opening & Episode Overview
Where we are as a sector: transition, strain, and new tools emerging.

00:27 — Christina’s Final AGM Report
Christina reflects on 22 years at the college, a decade of leadership, and the emotional weight of stepping down.

02:20 — Pride, Exhaustion & What Members Need to Hear
Engagement, COVID support, and the urgent call for members to step up.

05:12 — Continuity & Gillian’s Return
Why the return of the lead steward restores stability and institutional memory.

06:16 — Layoffs, Transfers & Facing Reality
What’s coming: ongoing layoffs, the merger, and the limits of union control.

08:44 — Tabatha on Succession & the Busiest Year Ever
Record workloads, mentoring new stewards, and the rise of organic leaders.

12:16 — Becoming a Composite Local
New bylaw structures, new VP roles, and representing part‑time/sessionals.

15:11 — Elections & Why Your Voice Matters
Every role is open. Every member can run. Every contribution counts.

17:18 — Why We Do This Work
Tabatha on advocacy, voice, and the people who shaped her.

19:07 — Introducing the Virtual Steward
A new tool built by steward John Holmes to support stewards and protect members.

20:56 — Privacy, Guardrails & Avoiding Hallucinations
How the system was designed to be safe, siloed, and accurate.

23:59 — What the Virtual Steward Actually Does
From triage to timelines to case management—how it works in practice.

26:16 — Preventing Missed Deadlines
Why the system was built and how it protects members from lost grievances.

28:51 — From Casework to Grievances
How the tool organizes evidence, drafts summaries, and supports stewards.

— Closing: Support Staff Update with Amanda Shaw
Checking in on the merger, layoffs, and the work happening behind the scenes.

Ontario’s college system hit a breaking point this past week. Conestoga College was placed under a single government‑appointed supervisor, the Fleming–St. Lawrence merger remains a fog of shifting language and zero answers, arbitration backlogs have doubled across the province, and (a bright spot) part‑time/sessionals have finally reached the bargaining table for the first time in history.

In this episode, Julie White connects the dots across a sector under strain — and the workers trying to navigate it.

Julie sets the stage: government intervention, mergers without transparency, layoffs, grievances, and a workload system buckling under the weight.

The Ford government replaces Conestoga’s entire Board of Governors with a single supervisor. Union leaders call it a dangerous precedent in a system starved of funding and stripped of oversight.

Across Ontario, faculty describe the same themes: confusion, fear, and a lack of answers.

Mike breaks down the merger confusion, an 11‑minute no‑questions town hall, four years of layoffs, and the emotional lift of the April 30 Save Education Rally.

Arbitrations have jumped from 300 to over 700. Layoffs, leftover strike grievances, and too few arbitrators have created a province‑wide bottleneck. Gillian explains why one bad decision can reshape jurisprudence for all 24 colleges — and why understanding your SWF and using WMG matters more than ever.

For the first time, part‑time and sessional faculty are at the bargaining table. Greg walks us through a powerful opening day focused on precarity, disclosure, and unprecedented solidarity from all four CAAT divisions.

In this heavy-hitting episode, host Julie White takes us to the front lines of a system in crisis. From a spirited rally outside the offices of MPP Nolan Quinn to the devastating news of mass layoffs and "involuntary transfers" at St. Lawrence College, this episode explores the human cost of chronic underfunding and systemic restructuring.

We hear from union leaders, frontline healthcare workers, and students who are all witnessing the erosion of public education in real-time.

We talk with Local 417 President Christina Decarie about the historic mass layoff of faculty across SLC.

Finally, we transition from the structural to the personal with author Deanna Davies, whose new book, The In-Between, offers a somatic lens on navigating profound uncertainty and loss.

• [00:26] The Rally at Cornwall: Julie White introduces the episode from a protest in support of education, highlighting the "consequences in real time" of recent provincial decisions.

• [01:20] Solidarity in the Face of Demoralization: OPSEU/SEFPO President J.P. Hornick discusses the fight against an employer trying to "deliberately demoralize" staff and the filing of an unfair labor practice.

• [03:37] The Healthcare Connection: Frontline healthcare workers and college alumni explain why the "starving" of the college system directly threatens the longevity of public healthcare and the local workforce.

• [13:12] A Student’s Perspective: Jack Peets, a nursing student, describes a campus without a library or bookstore and the crushing burden of the 70% loan to 30% grant OSAP flip.

• [19:44] The Loss of Varsity Culture: Coach Ryan VanDyl speaks on the cancellation of tournament sports—like cross-country and golf—and the impact on student mental health and recruitment.

• [24:07] The "Saddest Day" at SLC: Christina Decarie, President of Local 417, breaks down the elimination of faculty positions and the "shifting sands" of the St. Lawrence/Fleming merger.

• [35:21] Member Spotlight: Deanna Davies: A moving conversation about Davies' new book, The In-Between, exploring embodied leadership and the cost of silence during times of organizational threat.

"Cuts aren't numbers on a spreadsheet. They're people. They're services. They're the future of public education." — Julie White

"Silence is not neutral, empty or passive. Silence does something. When information disappears... uncertainty becomes embodied." — Deanna Davies

• The In-Between by Deanna Davies: Available on Amazon and Lulu.
• Elevate3.ca: For more information on Deanna’s work in somatic healing and leadership.
• OPSEU/SEFPO Local 417 & 418: Updates on the St. Lawrence College faculty and support staff advocacy.

1. Stay Informed: Follow the ongoing updates regarding the St. Lawrence College and Fleming College merger and its impact on regional programming.
2. Contact Your Representative: Hold local MPPs accountable for the funding of public post-secondary education.
3. Tell Doug Ford workers and students are united for fair education. Sign the open letter
4. Support Local Authors: Check out The In-Between for insights on staying grounded when the external world lacks stability.

This episode dives into the uncertainty facing faculty and support staff at St. Lawrence and Fleming Colleges as layoffs, program suspensions, and an unprecedented merger reshape the sector.

Julie speaks with Christina Decarie and Tabatha Rutledge about what came out of recent fireside chats, what involuntary transfers may look like, and why so many answers simply don’t exist yet.

We also cover the historic first day of part‑time/sessionals bargaining, the union’s unfair labour practice filing, and the growing demand for transparency from the College Employer Council.

OPSEU/SEFPO President JP Hornick joins to break down why the union took this step and what it means for workers across the system. Finally, we hear from Local 418 Lead Steward April Stevens, who shares the support staff perspective and the impact of withheld information on bargaining.

This episode is about accountability, solidarity, and navigating a sector in crisis — together.

00:00 — Opening & Episode Overview
Uncertainty, change, and community strength as the merger and layoffs unfold.

01:28 — A Historic First Day of PT/Sessional Bargaining
Solidarity at the table and the union’s response to withheld information.

02:10 — Why the Union Filed a ULP
The push for transparency and a halt to layoffs and merger actions.

03:14 — Know Your Rights Preview
Upcoming segment on layoffs, displacement, recall, and severance.

03:27 — Fireside Chats: What We Learned
Christina and Tabatha reflect on turnout, questions, and member concerns. 05:29 — What Involuntary Transfers Could Look Like
Campus moves, program shifts, and why so many answers don’t exist yet.

08:45 — Declining a Transfer & Seniority Questions
What happens if you refuse, and what we still don’t know about merged lists.

09:47 — Supporting Members Through the Unknown
Resumes, advocacy, steward training, and preparing for first‑ever processes.

12:07 — Local Elections & Leadership Changes
Why new voices and many hands are needed now more than ever.

13:53 — The Tone on Campus: Uncertainty & Stress
Layoff fears, timelines, recall, and the reality of shifting sands.

16:34 — Precarity & Partial‑Load Losses
The human impact of disappearing work.

17:16 — Any Hope?
College optimism, program development, and the realities behind it.

19:02 — What Happens Next
More questions heading to management — and why compassion matters.

20:56 — Christina’s Retirement & Hidden Impacts
Why assumptions can hurt and why kindness matters.

21:21 — How Layoff Decisions Are Actually Made
Seniority, process, and the myth of “being nice.”

22:29 — Transition to JP Hornick
The shift in power at the bargaining table.

22:43 — JP Hornick: Why This Moment Matters
Historic bargaining, disclosure failures, and the ULP.

25:47 — The Funding Crisis & Systemic Threats
Why the sector is at a breaking point.

27:30 — A Call for a Moratorium on Layoffs
Protecting jobs and resisting government‑driven restructuring.

28:41 — JP’s Message to Faculty & Staff
Solidarity, power, and why fighting back matters.

28:51 — April Stevens: Support Staff Perspective
Transparency failures, bargaining impacts, and the Georgian closures.