This episode is long for a reason.

It's fun, it's hopeful it's insightful and it has Dave the Plantman....internet sensation... who will tell you all about his 45 year relationship with plants, memorial roses and the use of trees and plants in memorialising. His relationship to death and how that has been influenced by his experience of the natural world. Full of great tips on how to look after plants and the environment his Youtube Channel & TikTok is full of inspiring short reels and videos to help you cultivate your contribution to the environment.

His friend David from Ashes To Blooms knows him through the funeral world, you have met him already in the episode called Lucy Rabbit's Legacy. David shares Dave's passion for the environment and is busy re-wilding meadows with the ashes of people who have died!

They have great chemistry and they'll cheer you up!

Dave the Plantman: https://www.davetheplantman.co.uk/
David Holmes, Ashes to Blooms: https://ashestoblooms.com/

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/

I love this episode so much!

It is all about how we use language in our current age here in the UK, how euphemism can serve a purpose and all the different assumptions professionals make about how the general public want to use death language.

I learned a lot!

Amy Dugmore has most recently been the content director for Funeral Choice, the UK’s leading funeral comparison and advice platform. 

She has had a varied career, producing content for higher education, automotive and fashion retail among many other sectors, as well as co-producing workshops with Google. She also volunteers as a mentor, helping young people break into digital marketing and content creation.

As a copywriter by trade, language has always been at the forefront of Amy’s work and she is fascinated and passionate about the ways in which language shapes our experiences and helps us to find connection.

It’s safe to say that when she started out, she wasn’t expecting to find herself specialising in the death care sector – but has discovered a passion for compassionate content and helping people to plan the funeral they really want.

You can contact Amy through Jess 

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/

Warning...your life may never be the same again!

Meet Kate & Kate, Comediennes of the Funeral scene, all round good eggs, founders of Coffin Club UK, a Funeral Training Programme for would be Funeral Revolutionaries, and full time Celebrants for fabulous people everywhere.

Here we talk 'gatekeeping' Funeral Directors, the impact of sexism on the lives of Celebrants and put the Celebrant world to rights.

I love them, and once they're in your life you'll never let them go! Here's Kate Dyer and Kate Tym in their own words:

Hi, we’re the Coffin Club Kates!

Kate Tym (Blonde Kate) and Kate Dyer (Red-head Kate). We first met when we worked as Registrars for our local council. We jumped ship to become wedding celebrants and, after a short time, decided to train to conduct funerals – and so Kate and Kate Celebrants was born.

It didn’t take much time for us to become aware of how formulaic funerals tend to be and were so frustrated with the lack of choice and creativity being offered. Not only that, but we were amazed how little people knew about what was available to them for their final fling and how there seemed to be a reluctance from many in the funeral industry to make this information readily available.

Not ones to see a problem and not set about fixing it, our mission became to communicate and educate and bring the tricky topic of funerals out in the open. We started with a Coffin Club in our own area of Hastings on England’s south coast, before teaching other people to set up Coffin Clubs in their communities.

We started training other celebrants as we really see funeral celebrants as being key players in helping to change the face of funerals. We worked with other death professionals and, most importantly, brought our message to the general public by creating a uniquely informative plan-your-own funeral course.

We’d found our calling! People loved our approach and we’re really thrilled and grateful to have had our passion recognised with a trophy cabinet full of awards. We’re absolutely convinced that bringing death back to life is vital for better outcomes around grief recovery and resilience and, we couldn’t agree more with our inimitable patron, Miriam Margolyes, when she says, ‘Everyone who is going to die should come to Coffin Club.

Viva la Coffin Club revolution!!

Find them here: https://coffinclub.co.uk/

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/

Meet Melanie Wilson, Funeral & Memorial Celebrant, Founder of Death of the Party NYC as she shares her journey about founding DEATH OF THE PARTY NYC.

In this episode we discuss her grief journey and how she founded the organisation Death of the Party NYC!

She is joining us from New York.

In her own words:

"Death of the Party NYC is about 'Proving loneliness wrong when it comes to grieving with community. Let’s focus on how we grieve the same rather than differently.'"

'I have experienced several significant deaths over the past five years. My friend and colleague died in 2018 and my dad died in 2019. Since losing them, I've sought out friendships with others who get grief.I am a certified Life Cycle and Funeral & Memorial Celebrant, crafting personal celebrations of life.

I am also a host and host trainer forThe Dinner Party..

Besides talking about death, I enjoy life by volunteering at a thriftstore, being creative, beekeeping, and traveling. My favorite place in NYC is Governor's Island!"

Find Melanie's Website Here:

https://deathofthepartynyc.org/
and on instagram: 
@DeathofthePartyNYC

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/

Howard Williams is an Archaeologist with a passion for The Archaeology and Heritage of Death and Memory - Past & Present 

He is Professor of Archaeology at the University of Chester (2008–present). He specialises in mortuary archaeology and medieval archaeology as well as the history of archaeology and public archaeology.

He has a BSc in Archaeological Science, an MA Burial Archaeology and a PhD Archaeology.

His legendary Archaeodeath blog explores archaeology, mortality and material culture and is so engaging it is addictive: 

This famous blog and associated social media channels with a huge online following on Tiktok, Instagram and Youtube (125.3k followers)

He creates more accessible, relevant and fascinating academic content for people like you and me than we could ever hope to absorb in one lifetime.

He challenges current narratives and discourse around tradition and identity and seeks to find facts where there are some, encourage us to admit when there are none and debunk myths were there are many. 

He is also enormous fun!

Youtube: https://youtube.com/@archaeodeath?si=l9OJAHJauPIAX370

Blog: https://howardwilliamsblog.wordpress.com/
For journals, publications, academic articles and Howard's blog

TikTok: tiktok.com/@archaeodeath

Howard is a published author and you can find his books here:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/author/B06W2H14ZY/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=21a388b9-40e2-4ebe-8372-3ed6c5506745

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/

David Holmes is the founder of Ashes to Blooms and Sussex Seed Balls and he creates memorial seed balls form the ashes of your loved ones!
Listen to the story of his pet rabbit and how she started his business!

Handy Links

https://www.nationalfuneralexhibition.co.uk/

https://ashestoblooms.com/

https://sussexseedballs.co.uk/

https://blackoutshop.co.uk/

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/

Roxy is an award winning Humanist Wedding Celebrant, who marries couples all over the south of England and abroad. A lover of all things ritual, she creates bespoke, fun, joyful wedding ceremonies for couples who want to stand out from the crowd. Passionate about celebrating peoples uniqueness and triumphing authenticity, Roxy passionately believes that no two weddings should be the same. 

When not marrying people, Roxy mentors other celebrants. She’s also a supervising Hoffman Process facilitator, coach and facilitator trainer.  In her downtime, she loves travelling and beach walks with her dogs in Brighton, where she now lives after nearly two decades in London - much of which was spent working in the music industry.

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/

Martin Fox AKA Maria Hurtz is a Celebrant friend and genuinely wonderful person. Martin's Celebrant business is known to us as Proudfox Ceremonies and anyone who is anyone needs to know about it.

Martin is the first UK Celebrant to conduct ceremonies in his Drag persona as Maria Hurtz, he also conducts ceremonies as Martin.

Find him here:  https://www.proudfoxceremonies.com/about/

Front and centre in Martin's practice is his commitment to creating Safe Spaces for all for weddings and he has explicitly created this statement for his business: which is, in part, what this episode is about.

Safe Space Statement

Every single one of us, is entitled to work or relax in a safe space*. A space free of discrimination or fear; a space, free of bullying and harassment of any kind.

We will work together honouring our differences and celebrating our strengths, individual qualities and contributions; upholding the values of trust, respect and confidentiality.

We will treat one another with equality, politeness and respect at all times and, if we are subjected to or witness discrimination*, bullying or harassment, we will speak out knowing that our voices will be heard and we will be taken seriously.
Together we can create a Safe Space.

(Martin Fox-Roberts – Adapted from EquityUk Safe Space Statement).

Here is Martin in his own words!

I’m proud to be a Drag Queen, ‘Maria Hurtz’, a Drag Idol Semi-Finalist and QX Magazine Awards Nominee for Best Drag Act and Best Comedy Act. So if you are looking for a Drag Themed or a Cabaret Themed ceremony, I can officiate your Wedding as Maria Hurtz!

I’m proud to be a fully qualified and registered NRCPD British Sign Language Interpreter! So I can officiate ceremonies for Deaf couples or CODAS (Children of Deaf Adults), in their first language, without them having to rely on using an Interpreter.

I can also provide British Sign Language Interpreting Services for your Ceremony. To find out more, please click here for www.martinfoxroberts.com

I was born and brought up in the North East.
Initially I trained as an Actor, but after some time I went on and set up my own business in Theatre Promotions and whilst working on a festival, I met my now husband Neil; who is a Deaf Actor.
In 2000 I moved to London and straight away started night school to learn British Sign Language, which is Neil’s first language and the first language we used at home.

In 2012 we had a Civil Ceremony, which was a magnificent day, and the highlight of my life. Throughout the many years we’ve been together, we’ve had some amazing times, learning from one another and sharing very special moments, but of course we have our arguments too, which, please note, I can never win: he has his say, but then when I try to make my point, he stands and simply closes his eyes!! Unable to see or hear me – he wins! That’s my secret to longevity, keep the peace and have your own quiet victories!

I continued to work in Theatre, as a Theatre Manager at Battersea Arts Centre and carried on with my sign language studies. In 2008 I qualified as a British Sign Language Interpreter, which is what I continue to do now too – and since 2013, every year I take great pride in volunteering my services in managing and co-ordinating the amazing team of BSL performance Interpreters for Pride In London.

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/

Let me introduce you to Nigel Pedlingham he is an incredible person and we are very lucky to have an opportunity to hear all about his ceremonial experiences.

He is a change maker and social justice advocate, a consciousness guide, ceremony leader and  psychedelic facilitator 

As well as being a loving husband and father. 

He is the founder of MAGUEY, a practice for healing and growth based in Amsterdam. He is also the chair of the Guide of Guides Netherlands. 

A lover of nature, stillness, and the unknown 

A modern mystic in the making 

--------------- 

Nigel brings a unique blend of experience to service, formed from 50 years of a well trodden path.  

A journey with many twists and turns he has lived in the UK (London and Brighton), The  Netherlands, and Nicaragua, and worked and traveled extensively across Europe, The Middle East  and North Africa, Sub-Saharan Africa and Latin America. His work experience spans the corporate,  non-profit, volunteer and the healing and self-development sectors. He has worked from the board  room to the bush and everything in between, working with CEOs, government ministers,  community health workers, digital human rights campaigners, the homeless, the queer community,  spiritual seekers and those in search of healing. 

Along the way have been a few serious burnouts, some broken hearts, a coming out and the  finding of true love - all of which have contributed to his personal process emergence and growth.  

Now as a coach, ceremony leader and psychedelic facilitator he enjoys supporting others to  develop a more conscious and authentic connection with themselves and what’s around them. He  truly believes that healing and broadening horizons at the individual level not only fosters individual  growth and creativity but actively contributes to the collective of our society. 

In 2020 he founded MAGUEY, a practice for healing and growth based in Amsterdam. MAGUEY  supports seekers to connect more deeply with Self, Surrounding and Spirit. At its heart are a  number of transformational coaching programmes that supports those who wish to consciously  integrate psychedelics into their pathways of growth.  

A lover of nature, stillness, and the unknown, Nigel is a modern mystic in the making � 

Contact  

[email protected] 

Psychedelic coaching programmes - https://www.psychedelicselfdiscovery.com/ 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/maguey_healing/ 

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/nigelpedlingham/

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/

Meet Katie Costello, force of nature and all round brilliant human! 

A multi Award-Winning Soul Midwife & Funeral Celebrant she has tended to hundreds of people at the end of their lives and created hundreds of funerals too. 

She is passionate about end of life choices and is leading the field with her training programme Dying for a Cuppa. 

She is also a new but already dear friend to Jess. 

Join us as we chat about how to prevent death from being a surprise!

Find out more about Katie Costello Soul Midwife here:

 https://www.katiecsoulmidwife.com/

You can find Jess here:

https://www.jess-may.com/