Orthodixie

Kiss the bride ... check! Walk the aisle ... check! Enjoy the honeymoon ... check! (Then what?) Pulling an episode from the "Best Of" files, Fr. Joseph discusses the ch-ch-changes that come with love and marriage. (Just for fun, see if you can identify all of the songs used in this oldie but goodie.)

Fr Joseph is lost. Perhaps you are, too? Great. Salvation loves company! A 2008 rerun about recalculating. Keep coming back!

Studies show that no matter how many people get on an elevator, riders move around to allow the same amount of space between themselves and each of the others. Some elevator riders stare at the numbers, some continue conversations, and others start superficial ones. Uh oh, someone just asked about Orthodoxy! You've got about 30 seconds (and a $100 prize riding on it); what do you say?

It always comes on a Thursday and, after a familiar dialogue of forty days, it always leaves one speechless (so to speak). In this episode from 2007, Fr. Joseph looks at the "Hi's" and "Hello's" of the Feasts.

Fr. Joseph speaks at the Greek Orthodox Metropolis of Denver's Clergy-Laity Conference, hosted by St George Greek Orthodox Church, Albuquerque, New Mexico. (He was going to title the talk "What Does a Greek Look Like?"—but then again, what DOES a Greek look like?)

Everyone from Nero to Kissinger to Osama to GaGa has been believed to be the Antichrist. The weekly Bible study group at St. Joseph Church, Houston, is about to learn from—I mean, of—another one.

From clerical collar-wearing altar boys to (apparently) Alice Cooper and KISS attending the Paschal Matins -- Oh, and you've never heard the Good News till you've heard it read in German, with a Japanese twist and a Southern accent. (In this "blast from the past," Fr. Joseph even describes how to get one's choir-directing wife to "do her job" only 48 hours after giving birth!)

A silly visit from the "Easter Bunny" leads to a serious exposé of "Spring Celebration Customs," the bunny basket, and the Pascha basket—even red eggs—in this timely encore episode.

In the last episode, Fr. Joseph encountered a little green church elf, Elton John, Lady GaGa, Archie Bunker, and Buzz Lightyear in pajamas. In this concluding episode, he tries to make sense of it all (with the help of Ol' Scratch).

Due to a knock on the noggin, Fr. Joseph finds himself fast-forwarding toward Pascha and holding hands with a green elf at midnight in a church where everybody is clothed in their pajamas and the iconostasis has been replaced with ... dirty laundry?