Our House with The Smylies

Why does God let bad things happen to good people? We still wrestle with it, and we're not going to pretend we have a neat answer.

We're Jason and Malia. Jason used to be an atheist, and one of his biggest hang-ups was simple: if God is good, why is there evil? Malia believed long before Jason did, and she still struggles with how God could let some things happen when He could have stopped them.

So we sat down and talked about it honestly. Where did evil come from in the first place? What does Romans 8:28 actually promise? Why does "everything happens for a reason" land so badly on someone who is hurting, and what about "maybe you just didn't have enough faith"? What do you say when you don't know why? What do you tell your kids? And if God could stop it, why isn't He doing anything?

If you're in a hard season right now, or sitting with someone who is, we hope this helps you feel a little less alone in the questions.

Join the Peaceful Home Challenge waitlist: https://ourhouse.faith/challenge/#waitlist

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Inspired by Joshua 24:15

Time for yourself isn't selfish. But self-care becomes selfish when it stops pointing you back to God.

We used to keep score. The cold plunge, the steam shower, AirPods and an audiobook at 3x, two hours to escape, and if you got yours, I got mine. It never actually filled us up. So we talk about what culture tells tired moms they deserve, why "you can't pour from an empty cup" is only half the story, and what Jesus actually did when He withdrew to pray (Luke 5:16, Mark 6:31).

If you're worn out and everything around you says you deserve a break, this one is for you. Time for yourself isn't the problem. Where it points is.

Take our Peaceful Home Assessment (mentioned in the episode): https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

Join the Peaceful Home Challenge waitlist: https://ourhouse.faith/challenge/#waitlist

Our neurofeedback episode: https://youtu.be/VuLzvEP72W0

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Inspired by Joshua 24:15

Raising teenagers when everyone else says yes is hard, and our boys don't always like where we land.

We're Jason and Malia, and two of our four sons are teenagers now. Our teens have phones, but they're on lockdown, and they know they're being raised differently than a lot of their friends. In this episode we get honest about what it looks like to set your kids apart: what the world is pulling our teenagers toward, why we have the hard talks early, what to do when you can't control what another kid shows them, when a teenager is old enough to date, and how to set your kids apart without losing them in the process. Jason also shares what it was like doing all the things he doesn't want our boys to do, and what changed.

If you feel the pull of what everyone else is doing but know it's not right for your house, this one is for you.

Get our Family Meeting Guide (mentioned in the episode): https://ourhouse.faith/3fm

Join the Peaceful Home Challenge waitlist: https://ourhouse.faith/challenge/#waitlist

Take our 4-minute family assessment: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Inspired by Joshua 24:15

If your marriage looks fine from the outside but feels lonely on the inside, you're not crazy. We've been there.

We've been married 16 years, and we've been on the brink of divorce four or five times. Most people around us never knew. So for our anniversary we sat down with questions we wish someone had asked us early on, and neither of us saw the other's list.

We get honest about all of it: when each of us felt most loved and most alone, the year a cancer diagnosis exposed how far apart we were spiritually, the work-late season we still see differently, how close we came even after Jason came to faith, whether divorce is ever okay in a Christian marriage, the advice Jason would give a man walking into marriage, and the one date we'd relive.

If you feel alone in a marriage everyone else thinks is fine, this one is for you. Lonely doesn't have to be the end of the story.

In the episode we mention our free 4-minute family assessment: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The 5 Silent Killers of a Peaceful Home (our very first episode): https://youtu.be/0E9wgirwCno

FREE FROM US

Join the Peaceful Home Challenge waitlist: https://ourhouse.faith/challenge/#waitlist

Take our 4-minute family assessment: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

Get our Family Meeting Guide: https://ourhouse.faith/3fm

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

We're Jason and Malia. Four boys, 16 years married, helping families bring God to the center of their home every week.

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Inspired by Joshua 24:15

#christianmarriage #lonelyinmarriage #marriageadvice #christianpodcast

The most dangerous idols in our lives aren't bad things. They're good things sitting in the wrong seat.

We filmed this on the first football Sunday of the season, so we start with the obvious one. But this is just the two of us getting honest about all of it: the fantasy football years Jason admits consumed him, the 45 minutes Malia loses to a scroll she never meant to start, the AirPods that became Jason's version of a drink after work, and the one idol nobody wants to name, because it's the kids.

So we talk about how you actually find yours. The question that beats any test: how much time did I spend with God today versus the thing I use to check out? Why your credit card statement might know your idols better than you do. What we do instead of deleting everything. The boundaries we keep around video games in our house. And how to bring it up with your spouse without becoming the meme who complains about phones while holding one.

If something good keeps ending up ahead of God in your week, this one is for you. The goal was never getting rid of it.

In the episode we mention a QR code for our free Family Meeting Guide. Here's the link: https://ourhouse.faith/3fm

CHAPTERS

00:00 The first football Sunday problem

04:48 "I let it consume me"

06:36 The 45-minute scroll

09:20 AirPods, scotch, and checking out

13:19 When the idol is your kids

14:14 Saying it to your spouse without the finger

19:24 Kids, video games, and boundaries

24:42 Your credit card knows where your treasure is

25:03 God at the center, not God first

FREE FROM US

Join the Peaceful Home Challenge waitlist: https://ourhouse.faith/challenge/#waitlist

Get our Family Meeting Guide: https://ourhouse.faith/3fm

Take our 4-minute family assessment: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ourhousefaith

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

We're Jason and Malia. Four boys, almost 16 years married, helping families bring God to the center of their home every week.

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Inspired by Joshua 24:15

Tithing 10% of your income sounds crazy until you realize none of it was ever really yours to begin with.

This one is just the two of us, working through what The Treasure Principle Bible study is doing to our hearts, our budget, and our bank account anxiety. Because most people want to be generous, they just don't feel like they can afford it yet.

So we get honest about what changed. The 10% pay cut question that reframed tithing for us, and what it forced us to look at in our spending. Why 10% makes you feel it at every income level, even through a layoff year. What it means to steward money that was never ours, instead of acting like the CEO of it. Why Malia calls the tithe "the bare minimum," and what she means. How a guy who thinks in investments learned to see generosity as one, with a return we can't outlive. And the difference between a want and a need in a house with four kids in a consumer-everything world.

If you want to give but you just don't feel like you can yet, this one is for you. It was never about the math.

In the episode we mention a family assessment with a QR code on screen. Here's the link: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

CHAPTERS

00:00 Money fights, and what ended ours

02:02 What a Bible study did to our budget

02:28 Everything is God's, even the scary parts

04:59 Not the CEO of the money

05:45 The 10% pay cut question

08:03 An investment with infinite return

11:35 "The tithe is the bare minimum"

12:28 Tithing 10% when the math doesn't work

13:44 Wants, needs, and the consumer trap

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn

Our episode with Ashton, the young Bible student who followed God to Peru

FREE FROM US

Join the Peaceful Home Challenge waitlist: https://ourhouse.faith/challenge/#waitlist

Take our 4-minute family assessment: https://ourhouse.faith/assessment

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ourhousefaith

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

We're Jason and Malia. Four boys, almost 16 years married, helping families bring God to the center of their home every week.

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Inspired by Joshua 24:15

Most of us think a rescue is the end of a human trafficking story. Our friend Jess has spent years inside what actually comes after.

Jess leads True ID, a Las Vegas ministry that walks with women rebuilding their lives after trafficking and exploitation. We asked her the questions most people are afraid to ask. Why do rescued women so often go back? What does it take to rebuild a life when the record, the name, and the trust are all broken? She says the studies show it can take seven rescues before a woman is finally free. And what happens the first time a woman steps into a safe bedroom of her own?

Then, in the middle of the conversation, Jess told us about the season she calls the dark night of her soul, when hearing these women's stories made a lifelong believer question everything, and the single sentence in a sermon that brought her back. Jason cried on camera for the first time in 31 episodes.

If you have ever felt God tugging on your heart to help but thought you had nothing to offer, this one is for you. Jess would tell you that showing up is the whole job.

SUPPORT TRUE ID

Website: https://mytrueid.org

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trueid.lv

Bowling for Restoration fundraiser, November 7 in Boulder City, details at their site.

CHAPTERS

00:00 INTRO

03:14 What reintegration really means

05:54 Why she goes back

06:08 Seven rescues

09:30 The first safe bedroom

14:03 Why it's called True ID

24:44 Jess's testimony: the dark night of her soul

48:21 How to actually help

FREE FROM US

Take our 4-minute family assessment: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

We're Jason and Malia. Four boys, almost 16 years married, helping families bring God to the center of their home every week.

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Inspired by Joshua 24:15

#humantraffickingawareness #antitrafficking #christianministry #christianpodcast

We keep having the same fight over and over. A week after saying we'd never quit this podcast, that fight almost made us quit.

This one is just the two of us, days after one of the bigger blowups we've had in a while, walking through exactly how the same argument keeps finding us after almost 16 years of marriage. Because what couples fight about is almost never what the conflict is actually about.

So we get honest about our pattern. Where the tension starts before either of us says a word. What happens when one spouse shuts down and goes quiet while the other pushes harder to connect. How our anxious and avoidant attachment styles turn a stressful week into a blowup. Why Malia said "I can't be his Holy Spirit," and what she does instead. And the iceberg picture our coach drew that showed us what's really underneath, and why resolving conflict in our marriage used to take a week and now takes less than a day.

Which one of you goes quiet? If you know this loop, this episode is for you. There is a way out, and it's not learning to argue better.

Not sure where the fighting is actually coming from? Take our free 4-minute family assessment: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

CHAPTERS

00:00 We almost cancelled this episode

03:52 Why couples have the same argument on repeat

07:23 Where the fight starts before it starts

08:28 When one spouse shuts down and one pursues

09:29 The moment stress becomes a blowup

12:45 “I can’t be his Holy Spirit”

19:17 The iceberg under every fight

22:27 How the fight finally ends

WATCH NEXT

Why You Keep Having the Same Fight (Attachment Styles): [LINK]

Marriage and the 5 Love Languages: [LINK]

FREE FROM US

Take our 4-minute family assessment: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

We're Jason and Malia. Four boys, almost 16 years married, helping families bring God to the center of their home every week.

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Inspired by Joshua 24:15

#christianmarriage #marriageadvice #resolvingconflict #attachmentstyles

Every parent wants their kids to do chores without being asked. We wanted more than that, so we made up The 4 Levels of Service to change their hearts, not just their habits.

For years our nightly kitchen cleanup was a fight. Somewhere along the way it stopped being one, and in this episode we walk through exactly what changed. The four levels we teach our kids, and the level most families never get past. What a study of nearly 10,000 kindergartners found about chores that surprised us. The Post-it note trick that got our whole house clean in 20 minutes with worship music on. And the laundry rule that means we never remind anybody about laundry.

We also get honest about the part that had to change first, and it was not the kids.

If it feels easier to just do it yourself, or you would settle for them doing it without complaining, this one is for you. The goal is a servant's heart, and it starts with ours.

Get The 4 Levels of Service one-pager: https://www.ourhouse.faith/4levels

CHAPTERS

00:00 Every Parent Wants This

02:06 “It’s Easier to Just Do It Myself”

03:13 What the Studies Actually Say

04:42 The 4 Levels of Service

06:06 The Level Most Families Live In

07:52 From Nightly Fight to Actually Helpful

12:14 The Post-it Note Power Clean

18:19 The Laundry Rule

FREE FROM US

Take our 4-minute family assessment: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

We're Jason and Malia. Four boys, almost 16 years married, helping families bring God to the center of their home every week.

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Inspired by Joshua 24:15

#christianparenting #choresforkids #raisingkids #servantheart

Six months ago God nudged us to start a podcast with no plan and no paycheck. It has not made a dollar. We are not stopping

We get into what it costs, in money and in time we do not have. What we do when the numbers say stop. The rule we made so this never consumes our family. And the one sentence our pastor said that settled whether we would ever quit.

If God has put something on your heart and you keep waiting until you feel qualified, take the leap. This episode is for you.

Timestamp:

00:00 Intro

01:28 Six Months of Our House

02:13 Malia’s Layoff and What Came Next

07:57 Why the Podcast Is a Ministry

12:35 Obedience When You Feel Unqualified

17:56 Following God Without Knowing the Plan

20:25 Protecting Their Family From the Work

22:16 The Advice That Helped Them Keep Going

FREE FROM US

Take our 4-minute family assessment: https://www.ourhouse.faith/assessment

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmylies

Sponsorship: [email protected]

We're Jason and Malia. Four boys, almost 16 years married, helping families bring God to the center of their home every week.

As for our house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

#christianpodcast #leapoffaith #calledbygod #startingapodcast