Our Mothers Ourselves

"She's probably the most resilient person I know." -- Emma Walton Hamilton

For the holidays, we're revisiting Katie's conversation  with Emma Walton Hamilton, daughter of the extraordinary Julie Andrews, about her mom's difficult childhood and her determination to give her own children stability and, above all, constant love.

Julie Andrews's two memoirs, Home, and Home Work, are at once heartbreaking and awe-inspiring. While reading the books in preparation for the interview, Katie toggled between listening to Julie's narration, and reading. She was struck by how differently she absorbed the material depending on the medium. That is, when she heard Julie's familiar voice, so thoroughly had she absorbed the calming effect of that voice over the years, she found it hard to feel the darkness of the material.

Emma speaks about her mother's innocence, well into adulthood, a true surprise given the effect that parts of her childhood could have had on her.

Emma and her mother have written more than 30 children's books together, and they co-host the podcast Julie's Library.



Art by Paula Mangin
Music by Andrea Perry
Producer: Alice Hudson

Visit us at: Our Mothers Ourselves

Special thanks to Liz Mitchell for permission to use her beautiful rendition of You Are My Sunshine.

Our Mothers Ourselves is an interview podcast that celebrates extraordinary mothers from all walks of life. Please share the one word that best describes your mother on the Mother Word Cloud.

 
Gurki Basra knows a thing or two about dating. She even starred in Season One of the Netflix show Dating Around, in which she went on a famously bad date.

Her mother, Tanjeet Basra, on the other hand, had never been on a date, right up to the day she got married when she was 22, which also happened to be the day she met her husband for the first time. 

Katie talks to Gurki about her parents' wedding and marriage, and the wisdom Gurki gained in watching the ultimate blind date evolve into a loving marriage.

Please visit the mother word cloud page and contribute your own word to describe your mother.

Music composed and performed by Andrea Perry.
Artwork by Paula Mangin. (@PaulaBallah)
Producer: David Walters
Send us email at: [email protected]

Our Mothers Ourselves is an interview podcast that celebrates extraordinary mothers from all walks of life. Please share the one word that best describes your mother on the Mother Word Cloud.

[Note: This episode is dedicated to the late poet (and editor non pareil), David Corcoran.  We miss you, David.]


In this strangest of holiday seasons, when so many of us are missing our extra limb of extended family, I’m not so sure it’s just cheer we could use. As we turn this final page on our dark 2020, we might need something that transports us in a different way. The wisdom of the poet and philosopher David Whyte, especially when it comes to the wonderful relationship he had with his mother, Mary O’Sullivan, might be just the right tonic for our times. 

I got in touch with Whyte about coming on to Our Mothers Ourselves after I heard him tell a heartbreaking story about his mother during his popular Sunday Series. Thomas Crocker, Whyte’s very kind right-hand person, got back to me and said that David’s schedule was hectic, but there was something about the invitation that spoke to him. That’s the way things tend to happen with this podcast: People find themselves wanting, needing, yearning to talk about the woman who saw them through so much of life.

Over the past decade or so, I’ve been asking people to choose just one word to describe their mother, and when I asked this of Whyte, he said it was something he hadn’t thought about before – finding the one word that best sums up Mary O’Sullivan. He chose the word “lyrical,” because, he said, his mother was “joyously articulate,” “a great singer,” and lyrical in her use of words to convey love and affection. 

Turning the tables just a bit, I asked a few friends, whom I know to be fans of Whyte’s poetry, for the word they would use to describe David Whyte. A sampling of the responses: Insightful. Profound. Deep. Wise. Genius. Spiritual. Inspirational. Accessible. Surprising. Mystic. Storyteller.

My own word for Whyte: Bountiful. Everything he writes, even words wrought in sparest form, is a generous helping for the mind and for the soul.  When Whyte arrives, poetry in hand, the gift he brings is as precious as the most exquisite mother-of-pearl box. And long after its bearer has taken leave, the poetry stays. Phrases like ‘Perfection is a fragile, ice-thin ground that barely holds our human weight’ linger like an afterimage.  

One David Whyte poem that is new to me is Farewell Letter, about a letter he imagined his mother might have written to him after her death.  In our interview, Whyte talks about the interrupted dream that gave rise to that poem.

Whyte's verse is balm for many a broken soul. So here’s to hoping that my conversation with him about his mother and their elemental bond will feed your mind, raise your spirits and fill your soul. I know it lifted my own heart beyond measure.

* You can find Whyte’s word for his mother — and the words other offspring who have contributed to the word cloud  — on the mother word cloud page. Please visit and contribute your own.

A special thanks to Thomas Crocker at Many Rivers Press for permission to use David’s poetry.

Music composed and performed by Andrea Perry.
Artwork by Paula Mangin. (@PaulaBallah)
Producer: Alice Hudson

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Our Mothers Ourselves is an interview podcast that celebrates extraordinary mothers from all walks of life. Please share the one word that best describes your mother on the Mother Word Cloud.

Updated Jan. 21, 2021

Alison Aucoin  doesn't seem like the type of person given to making  profane gestures. But after her mother, Lynn Evans, contracted Covid and died last April in New Orleans, Alison -- livid with anger -- posted a photograph to Facebook that quickly went viral. Alison's post, a raw rant straight from the heart, was directed at Donald Trump and his egregeious mishandling of the pandemic that killed her mother.

Katie interviews Alison about her mother's life, their mutual devotion, and the terrible circumstances around Lynn's illness and death.

As of today, Thursday, Jan. 21,2021, the CDC puts the total number of deaths in the U.S. at 404,689. 

Let's put that number in perspective. The 1906 San Francisco earthquake killed 3,000 people in the SF Bay Area. The 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center in 2001 killed 2,605 people. These latest tolls from Covid are happening in a single day. 

Lynn Evans is one of those lost to this pandemic. Each one of those people has a story, and for the loved ones left behind, devastating grief.

Alison's original Facebook post can be found here.

Don't forget to visit us at ourmothersourselves.com. And while you're there, please contribute your word to the mother word cloud.


Music composed and performed by Andrea Perry.
Artwork by Paula Mangin. (@PaulaBallah)
Producer: Alice Hudson


Extra special thanks this week to Kevin Clark and the Dukes of Dixieland for permission to play a couple of songs. Kevin is on trumpet, and on Stardust Tom McDermott is on piano and the late Leigh "Little Queenie" Harris is the vocalist.

Our Mothers Ourselves is an interview podcast that celebrates extraordinary mothers from all walks of life. Please share the one word that best describes your mother on the Mother Word Cloud.

When I started this podcast just before Mother's Day 2020, my main goal was to shine a light on extraordinary mothers. I figured the world was plenty sated  with books, articles, films, blogs, and podcasts about ways in which women fell short as mothers, and, given that we could use some uplifting stories, devoting attention to those who were simply great mothers seemed like a good idea.  In other words, narcissistic/dysfunctional/dud mothers need not apply.

Which brings me to Ariel Leve's story. A few months ago, shortly after I interviewed Will Blythe, whose mother, Gloria, and her "invisible love" for her children made for an engrossing conversation,  Will suggested I interview the writer Ariel Leve. Her biological mother was difficult (an understatement, I was to learn later), he said. "Thanks but no thanks," I said.  But he wouldn't take no for an answer, and he told me about  Rita Waterman, the woman Ariel considers her surrogate mother and guardian angel, her soul mother. Without Rita, Will said, Ariel would have had a much tougher time in life. I was intrigued.

Ariel's 2017  memoir, An Abbreviated Life, is a riveting read, "strangely mesmerizing," as The New York Times put it . And throughout the book's pages, Ariel pays tribute to  Rita, who is as good a soul as you can hope to find. So yes, this episode breaks a rule,  but it was one well worth breaking.

Don't forget to visit us at ourmothersourselves.com. And while you're there, please contribute your word to the mother word cloud.



Music composed and performed by Andrea Perry.
Artwork by Paula Mangin. (@PaulaBallah)
Producer: Alice Hudson
Intern: Rosie Manock (@RosieManock)

Our Mothers Ourselves is an interview podcast that celebrates extraordinary mothers from all walks of life. Please share the one word that best describes your mother on the Mother Word Cloud.

"Yoo hoo! Look what I found down here!" Who could possibly could resist a mother's call to investigate?

Elizabeth Mushinsky Mitchell came by her parenting instinctively.  She lost her own mother when she was eight, but had a feel for what it took to be a great mother: true engagement, genuine pathos, and a generous dose of inventiveness.

From 1992, she was coordinator of the Gold Key tour guide program at Choate Rosemary Hall, and was admired and beloved by the students there. She died in 2015.

Katie  speaks with Liz's daughter,  journalist Biz Mitchell, whose latest book is Lincoln's Lie:  A True Civil War Caper Through Fake News, Wall Street, and the White House,  published in October 2020 by Counterpoint Press.

This, too, is a week where we give thanks to every mother who is no longer here to bask her in daughter's achievement. We express special gratitude to Shyamala Gopalan Harris, Vice President-elect Kamala Harris's mom, who would be oh so proud.

Don't forget to visit us at ourmothersourselves.com. And while you're there, please contribute your word to the mother word cloud.

Music composed and performed by Andrea Perry.
Artwork by Paula Mangin. (@PaulaBallah)
Producer: Alice Hudson
Intern: Rosie Manock (@RosieManock)

Our Mothers Ourselves is an interview podcast that celebrates extraordinary mothers from all walks of life. Please share the one word that best describes your mother on the Mother Word Cloud.

Some people are just plain born with moxie.

Meet Elizabeth "Betta" Dixon MacCarthy Ehrenfeld , who left her hometown of Chapel Hill, North Carolina in 1942, at the age of 16,  got on a train -- by herself -- and headed north. Her first stop was  Bronxville, N.Y., and Sarah Lawrence College. By the time she was barely 21 she had a law degree from Yale. Back then, women with law degrees were considered top candidates for legal secretarial work. But Betta would have none of that. She went on to practice copyright law,  then worked as a Legal Aid Society lawyer.

Betta died in January 2019, at age 92. Just before the midterm elections in 2018, she wanted to remind people to vote. So she had a sign made that simply said VOTE, had her photo taken, ahad cards made with that image on the front  -- and sent them to everyone she knew.

Betta was a founding subscriber to Ms. Magazine, a card-carrying atheist, an occasional scofflaw ("somtimes the rules aren't correct") and an avid traveler. When Betta and her husband, Robert, were living in the Manhattan brownstone where they raised their three daughters, one wall of the house was covered a giant painting of The Bill of Rights -- a mural commissioned by Betta.

Betta's signature motto: Don't leave home without your passport and bathing suit.

Betta also became a major donor to the Frances Perkins Center in Damariscotta, Maine, and the center hosts the Betta Ehrenfeld speaker series in Betta's honor.

And yes, Betta was a role model to her three children.

Katie speaks with Martha Ehrenfeld,  Betta's middle daughter.

Don't forget to visit us at ourmothersourselves.com. And while you're there, please contribute your word to the mother word cloud.

Music composed and performed by Andrea Perry.
Artwork by Paula Mangin. (@PaulaBallah)
Producer: Alice Hudson
Intern: Rosie Manock (@RosieManock)

Our Mothers Ourselves is an interview podcast that celebrates extraordinary mothers from all walks of life. Please share the one word that best describes your mother on the Mother Word Cloud.

She's considered Brazil's "Pope of Fashion," and to most people in the fashion world she is known simply as Costanza.

Costanza's parents, Gabriella and Michele Pascolato,  emigrated from Italy to Brazil in the aftermath of World War II, and in 1948 they started the Santaconstancia textile company, which became a fixture in Brazil's world of fabric and fashion.

By the age  of six, Costanza had already developed her own  sense of style. Now 81, she remains an icon of fashion and style, her signature look recognized around the world. 

Katie speaks with Costanza's daughter Consuelo, who has managed to revere her mother and find a voice of her own.

A note: This week we introduce a pair of partnerships with small-batch companies that make products we love. Visit the Our Mothers Ourselves Web site for more about that.

And while you're there, please contribute your word to the mother word cloud.

Music composed and performed by Andrea Perry.
Artwork by Paula Mangin. (@PaulaBallah)
Producer: Alice Hudson
Intern: Rosie Manock (@RosieManock)

E em Portugues:

Esta semana estamos encantados por falar com Consuelo Blocker, a filha da diva brasileira da moda, Constanza Pascolato, a quem muitos chamam a “Papa da Moda”.

A Katie e a Consuelo falam de tudo, desde a emigração da família de Itália após a 2ª Grande Guerra Mundial  e as origens do seu negócio na indústria têxtil ( tudo começou com a descoberta de um estoque de seda no final dos anos 40 !) até às “súplicas” de Consuelo para usar botas de vinil branco até ao joelho quando ainda era uma adolescente. A resposta da Mãe nesta altura foi um retundo "Não!".

Estas duas “Mulheres” têm alegria de vida para dar e vender!

Our Mothers Ourselves is an interview podcast that celebrates extraordinary mothers from all walks of life. Please share the one word that best describes your mother on the Mother Word Cloud.

A self-described “Black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet,” Audre Lorde had a poem for every occasion, says her daughter, Dr. Elizabeth Lorde-Rollins, in this week’s conversation with Katie Hafner.
 
Lorde's lifelong love of words led her to a life as a renowned poet and author of more than a dozen volumes. Her poetry is unflinching, raw and filled with rage against social, racial and sexual norms.
 
 In 1978, Lorde was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a radical mastectomy. Her experiences and emotions at that time were chronicled in her diaries, which were then published in a book titled, The Cancer Journals.

The Cancer Journals was among the first narratives to lend voice to the physical and emotional isolation of breast cancer, is now being republished 40 years after its original release. 
 
Elizabeth, an ob-gyn who is currently studying acupuncture, speaks about her reactions to her mother's work when she was young, her mother's life and legacy, and the continued relevance of her work.

Fittingly, Penguin Classic's new edition coincides with Breast Cancer Awareness Month. 

Forty years after The Cancer Journals was first published, Black women still have the highest breast cancer death rate of all racial and ethnic groups in the U.S., and they’re 42% more likely to die of breast cancer than white women are. This is just plain wrong and it needs to be redressed.

To coincide with its literary tribute to Audre Lorde, Penguin Random House has pledged its support to Black Women's Health Imperative, an organization that supports health and wellness initiatives for Black women. 

We hope you'll support BWHI, too. Here's their Web site.

Further ways you can donate:  Susan G. Komen organization, Ralph Lauren's Pink Pony Campaign and/or Breast Cancer Action, an organization we think Audre would heartily approve of.

Don't forget to visit us at ourmothersourselves.com. And while you're there, please contribute your word to the mother word cloud.

Music composed and performed by Andrea Perry.
Artwork by Paula Mangin. (@PaulaBallah)
Producer: Alice Hudson
Intern: Rosie Manock (@RosieManock)

Our Mothers Ourselves is an interview podcast that celebrates extraordinary mothers from all walks of life. Please share the one word that best describes your mother on the Mother Word Cloud.