Our Neurodivergent Life

Trigger Warning: Depression. In this episode, (that I say is quick…but winds up not being so) I vent about the challenges we have in our lives, and how these things can impact on our relationships and mental health. Please note, this is a deep and pretty depressing recording…

Some people believe that when children aren’t at school, they are at home, doing nothing. And some feel parents are responsible. This does not take in to account the plethora of reasons why children do not attend school, and what a responsibility this places on parents. Somehow, as we went off on a little tangent, I didn’t cover how our child is progressing since being at home… and how our PDAers often thrive when their learning is self and interest led. There is still so much more to say… but we have covered why many children aren’t in school and how the system needs to change!

This discussion was triggered by a post from Joe James the Autistic Photographer, explaining how 2-5 is too young to deem an individual as non-verbal. We then went on to discuss how our autistic children develop differently, and are often underestimated. Many professionals ‘write off’ our children, and we feel that in some cases, so much untapped potential is wasted.

I was feeling triggered after reading some reports about my eldest child. I will admit, this podcast might present as an incoherent rant, but essentially, I want to communicate how much my son has been let down…and how so many families have been let down. Our system is baffling and in great need of change. How can it be justified that a child who needs such high levels of support has been denied educational, health and social interventions? How many children and families are experiencing the same issues? You need a diagnosis to be considered for specialist provision (and it might not even be adequate), but diagnosis is inaccessible to so many people. Please don’t be afraid to reach out if you are going through the same challenges. It’s emotionally draining and so exhausting. (Apparently I referred to being in 2020 when it is clearly still 2021…just. I meant that when the professional looked at me blankly when I mentioned PDA…it was 2020. Also, the EHCP assessment was applied for in 2020…so it is shocking that in that time, no real efforts have been made to adequately assess and get to know my child.)

This ‘episode’ covers my reflections on what people expect from you, and the impact this can have. In this context, it is in relation to juggling the raising of children, which in my case are children with SEND, and keeping the house together. This topic could be extended into other areas such as the workplace…

This is a commentary, with sadly poor audio, about the BBC show Don’t Exclude Me. I have the show on in the background… it might be worth you bringing the show up on your screen so you can follow the events as I speak about them. (At one point I express a boy has £10 in his shoe… I meant bag… I don’t know why I said shoe…)

Here we discuss the terms low and high functioning. What started out as a balanced conversation about the terms, admittedly wound up becoming a conversation about the ‘high functioning’ experience. We didn’t intend for the conversation to take this direction, but we hope you can relate to some of the topics we explore. With regard to the terminology, high and low functioning, we express that we feel the terms are inadequate. During the talk, we reference the following: 

Why everything you know about autism is wrong: Jac den shouting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1AUdaH-EPM

Evil Bald Genius: https://unapologeticallyautistic.com/high-functioning-autism

Levels of Support: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-high-functioning-autism-5198358 

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1995/50/contents 

I like to be honest, and I have to confess, I am unwell…and was speaking faster than usual. I didn’t know that was possible either… 😂 Sorry to my husband, who struggled to get a word in.

We may need to record a follow up actually dealing with the main issue we intended to cover. Get in touch if there is anything you would like to add...

This episode addresses the viral post we shared about Doom Boxes. It explores executive dysfunction, neurodiversity and co-existing conditions. During the podcast, I state that executive dysfunction can be ‘caused’ by autism, adhd etc… I couldn’t neatly edit this part out, so I wanted to clarify that what I meant was, executive dysfunction can be experienced by people with adhd, autism, ptsd, and other conditions. It is not exclusive to ADHD. Regarding cause, online sources such as additudemag.com do express that it can be the result of heredity, such as ADHD, but they can also result from damage to the prefrontal cortex, in vitro exposure to substance use, trauma or severe neglect. With this in mind, it might not be far-fetched to suggest that other conditions such as autism, and the way the brain is wired, is responsible for executive function issues, but I worded this very badly in the podcast. I have my own processing issues, and sadly this was one of those times. We hope you enjoy the podcast, and relate to the content.

This is a (kind of waffly) reflection on schools, acknowledging that not all are equal.

This episode covers my communication difficulties, as well as how I am deemed to be ‘high functioning’, quite wrongfully in some situations. It briefly explores masking as well.