Since we were introduced to Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges in the early nineties, the concept has revolutionized our understanding of the connection between safety and well-being and transformed trauma interventions and therapeutic interactions, inspiring researchers and clinicians to approach things in new ways. Here to enlighten us through real-world examples and themes from their book, Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us, are father and son, Stephen and Seth Porges. Tune in to gain a whole new outlook on what our body does based on how safe we feel and learn practical ways in which we can help one another feel safe.

Listen and Learn: 

What is polyvagal theory?

What effects does it have on our physical and mental well-being to live in a world where signals of threat are all around us?  

The science of safety 

What role does cognition play in polyvagal theory?

Clearing up misconceptions about our freeze response to life-threatening or traumatic events

Breath, the vagus nerve, and feeling safe—and whether there's even an ideal way to breathe to stimulate or activate those feelings of safety

Are hormonal changes impacting the vagus nerve, and is that why we experience mood changes during puberty and menopause?

What makes us seek out the thrill of being scared?


Resources:

For more insight on polyvagal theory, visit Stephen and Seph’s websites 

Order your copy of Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us


Follow Stephen on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn 

Follow Seth on Facebook and X



About Stephen and Seth Porges
Stephen W. Porges, Ph.D. is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University where he is the founding director of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium. He is Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He lives in Atlantic Beach, Florida. 

Seth Porges is a journalist and filmmaker. He directed the critically acclaimed documentary Class Action Park (HBO Max). He lives in Atlantic Beach, Florida, and Brooklyn, New York. 

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334. Our Polyvagal World with Stephen & Seth Porges

We are four experts in psychology, bringing you science-backed ideas that can help you flourish in your work, relationships, and health.

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Self-Improvement

Ever think about how powerful asking questions can be? It's kinda mind-blowing when you think about all the insights, knowledge, and experiences we can tap into just by asking. So in this episode, we’ve got Jeff Welzer on board to talk about his book ASK: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life. Jeff enlightens us on how asking thoughtful and well-crafted questions that seek to learn can unlock a treasure trove of wisdom, ideas, and deep understanding. And it can even help you achieve your goals in both your personal and professional lives! You have to check out this awesome chat! Trust us, it's packed with gems that'll shift how you connect with others and enable you to grow as a person!

Listen and Learn: 

Are you missing out on valuable insights and hidden wisdom by not asking questions?

How asking well-crafted questions can help you achieve your goals and benefit you both in your personal and professional lives

Why do we withhold information? 

Tips to navigate speaking up when you might fear the reaction you could get

How Jeff’s ASK Approach can help you tap into other people's knowledge, thoughts, wisdom, and ideas

Ways you can make it safer for someone to open up more 

Transforming crummy questions into quality questions that promote meaningful discussion and insight

How you can get better at listening to learn

How can we pass the skillset of curiosity onto our kids 


Resources: 

Jeff’s website: https://www.askapproach.com/


https://transcendeducation.org/


ASK: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780306832697



Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781250235374



About Jeff Wetzler 
JEFF WETZLER is co-CEO of Transcend, a nationally recognized innovation organization, and an expert in learning and human potential. Wetzler combines unique leadership experiences spanning more than 25 years in business and education, as a management consultant to the world’s top corporations, a learning facilitator for leaders around the world, and as Chief Learning Officer at Teach For America. Jeff earned a Doctorate in Adult Learning and Leadership from Columbia University and a bachelor’s in psychology from Brown University. Based in New York, he is a member of the Aspen Global Leadership Network and is an Edmund Hillary Fellow.
https://www.askapproach.com/
Book: ASK: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life 

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329. The Power of Curiosity with Scott Shigeoka


281. Belonging Uncertainty and Bridging Divides with Geoffrey Cohen 

276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson

255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance

165. How We Talk and Why It Matters with Katherine Kinzler


96. Effective Conversations About Diversity with Anatasia Kim and Alicia del Prado 


302. Say the Right Thing with David Glasgow 


185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith 


299. Leadership and the Changing Workplace with Chris Shipley 

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353. Ask Great Questions with Jeff Wetzler

Our 20s are a time of great change and transformation. But many people overlook this and label them "snowflakes" for not having certain things, like partners, houses, mortgages, big jobs, or kids. The truth is that trying to achieve all those milestones at once without any guarantee of success can leave us feeling insecure and stressed. For this episode, we bring you guest, Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist who joins us to chat about her new book, The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age. Her insights are valuable for anyone in their twenties, about to enter their twenties, or even in their early thirties. Even If you are a parent with young adult children or a therapist who works with young adults, her book offers a solid foundation to help you understand the experiences of individuals at this developmental stage.
Listen and Learn: 

Are we being too hard on twenty-somethings? 

What do evolution and science tell us about the role of uncertainty for humans?

The impact of technology, particularly the internet and social media, on the difficulties faced by individuals in their twenties

Is medication always the best medicine? 

Your default mode network and your task-positive network 

Why your twenties may not be the best years of your life (and why that's okay!!)

Is work the leading cause of stress and anxiety in 20-somethings?

Finding your purpose as a 20-something 

Resources:

Meg’s website: https://megjay.com/



The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781668012291


Connect with Meg on social media: 

https://www.threads.net/@drmegjay

https://twitter.com/drmegjay

https://www.tiktok.com/@drmegjay

https://www.linkedin.com/in/meg-jay-phd/

https://www.instagram.com/drmegjay/


About Meg Jay
Meg Jay, PhD, is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is the author of The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age, Supernormal: The Secret World of the Family Hero and the cult classic The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now. Her books have been translated into more than a dozen languages and her work has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review and on NPR, BBC and—maybe most important for her audience—TikTok.  

A recent New York Times profile called Dr. Jay “the patron saint of striving youth, a prophet-like figure for a generation of young people buried under mixed messaging,” and her TED talk “Why 30 Is Not the New 20” is among the most watched to date.  Dr. Jay earned a doctorate in clinical psychology, and in gender studies, from the University of California, Berkeley. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia and maintains a private practice in Charlottesville. 
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352. Twentysomethings with Meg Jay

As humans, we face this dilemma of wanting to live life to the fullest, but also taking everything for granted, including time. We often only realize the importance of time when we have little time left. Don’t let that be you! In an episode with Jodi Wellman, we dive into her phenomenal book, You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets. We have about 4,000 Mondays in our lifetime, and if we're halfway through, we have roughly 2,000 to go. The good news is that you are in charge of how you spend those days. Drawing upon principles of positive psychology, practical tips, and research-backed data, Jodi's book will provide you with a fresh perspective and renewed appreciation for life!
Listen and Learn: 

The impetus that made Jodi aware of her deep-seated fear of dying with regrets and inspired her book, You Only Die Once 


Why do we only realize the importance of time when we have little left?

How the Grim Reaper is a prominent character in Jodi’s book and message 

Regrets of commission vs regrets of omission 

What is death reflection?

Ideas for gaining vitality in your life 

Finding meaning in life 

The value in pre-savoring and savoring the things that bring you joy in life  


Resources:


Visit Jodi’s website: https://fourthousandmondays.com/


You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets

Connect with Jodi on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fourthousandmondays/


Connect with Jodi on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fourthousandmondays/


If you are interested in working with Michael: herold.coach/book



About Jodi Wellman
Jodi Wellman is a former corporate executive turned executive coach. She has a Master’s in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she is an instructor in the Master’s program and a trainer in the world-renowned Penn Resilience Program. She is a Professional Certified Coach with the ICF and a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach from CTI. She has coached and spoken with clients like American Express, Fidelity, pwc, Royal Bank of Canada, BMW, and more, and runs her own business, Four Thousand Mondays. She lives between Palm Springs and Chicago with her husband and cat, Andy. You can watch her inspirational TEDx Talk on how death can bring you back to life.

Related Episodes

157. The Art of Dying Well with Katy Butler

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351. You Only Die Once with Jodi Wellman

Are you seeking effective strategies to help your anxious child thrive and grow? In an interview with clinical psychologist and best-selling author, Regine Galanti about her book, "Parenting Anxious Kids, Understanding Anxiety in Children by Age and Stage", we talk about the importance of differentiating between "normal" and problematic anxiety in children, spending one-on-one time with kids to build self-esteem, and the use of praise. Regine also describes how parents can focus on changing behaviors rather than controlling feelings. Her book is an incredibly empowering resource and offers many strategies and guidance on creating realistic parenting goals for anxious kids. Whether you're a parent, work with children, or plan to have kids in the future, this conversation is full of valuable tips and science-backed insights!

Listen and Learn: 

What inspired Regine to write Parenting Anxious Kids: Understanding Anxiety in Children by Age and Stage


Why our brains are wired to feel anxiety as an emotion and why it can be a good thing 

How have cultural shifts informed parenting, and what role does anxiety play in this? 

Examples of typical parental worries and fears at different ages and stages that don't mean a child has an anxiety problem

What behaviors cross into problematic anxiety in children?

Explaining accommodation, a fundamental concept in childhood anxiety and parenting

What is reassurance giving, how can this be a problem for your child's anxiety, and how can you respond differently to interrupt the loop?

If a magic button made your child's anxiety completely disappear, how would your child's life be different? How would your life and your family's life be different, if at all?

Introducing the principle of special time and why it's so key to parenting anxious kids

Are anxious kids more sensitive to experiencing shame? 

What is the HALT acronym, and how is it helpful?

Parental strategies for dealing with frustration tolerance issues in the 6-10 age group

Supporting middle and high schoolers with anxious thoughts 


Resources:

Long Island Behavioral Psychology: https://www.longislandbehavioral.com/team



SPACE Treatment: https://www.spacetreatment.net/


Connect with Regine on: 

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.galanti?lang=en
https://www.instagram.com/regine.galanti/reels/
https://twitter.com/reginegalanti?lang=en

About Regine Galanti
Regine Galanti is a clinical psychologist and best-selling author with expertise in anxiety and OCD in kids and teens. Dr. Galanti started writing in order to share the tools she teaches families in therapy with a wider audience. She also enjoys speaking to parents, schools, and media outlets to share information about effective mental health information in children. She has been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Buzzfeed, and other sources. When she's not working, or writing, she lives in Long Island, NY with her husband and 3 daughters. 

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344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber

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14. Mindful Parenting

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350. Parenting Anxious Kids with Regine Galanti

Want to change your relationship with food? This incredible interview with Judson Brewer, a pioneer in the field of habit change and author of The Hunger Habit: Why We Eat When We're Not Hungry and How to Stop, will not only deepen your understanding of your eating behavior patterns and triggers, but you'll also learn how to completely shift your habits with kindness and curiosity. Listen in for a slew of actionable tips, modern science, and ancient wisdom from Judson; discover which foods are best for your body while still enjoying the foods you like; and strengthen your understanding of how your brain works and how to make permanent changes in your life based on that knowledge.

Listen and Learn: 

How his struggle to help patients with binge eating and overeating led Judson to write The Hunger Habit


What's the issue we're facing as a society and culture with eating and food in general?

Why keeping a healthy diet by measuring what you eat comes with its own set of challenges

How our food consumption instincts have evolved and gotten mixed up in modern times

Identifying the patterns that bring us to eat

How you can practice kindness to facilitate openness and learning from experiences 

Recalling past experiences before engaging in habitual behavior to make better decisions and avoid repeating negative experiences in the future


Resources: 

Visit Judson’s Website: https://drjud.com/


The Hunger Habit: Why We Eat When We're Not Hungry and How to Stop

A simple way to break a bad habit | Judson Brewer | TED

Connect with Judson on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook



About Judson Brewer 
Judson Brewer M.D., Ph.D., is an internationally renowned addiction psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He is a professor in the School of Public Health and Medical School at Brown University. His 2016 TED Talk, “A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit,” has been viewed more than 19 million times. He has trained Olympic athletes and coaches, government ministers, and business leaders. His first book, The Craving Mind, was published in more than sixteen languages. His second book, Unwinding Anxiety, was an instant New York Times bestseller.

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334. Our Polyvagal World with Stephen & Seth Porges

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