This episode was recorded from a place I didn’t expect to be.

It’s a quiet conversation for men — especially those over 40 — who find themselves alone, starting over, or living a life that doesn’t match the blueprint they were handed.

We explore a sentence many men are afraid to say out loud:

“If this is the rest of my life… I’m okay with that.”

Not as resignation.
Not as giving up.
But as acceptance — and why acceptance is often the starting point for real change.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why men struggle when life slows down

• The difference between acceptance and resignation

• What it means to make peace with where you are without giving up on what could still be ahead

• Why it’s okay to not be okay — but not to stay there

• How a quieter, more honest future can still be deeply fulfilling

There’s no advice here.
No quick fixes.
Just space to reflect.

Where in your life are you still arguing with reality instead of working with it?

One sentence is enough — or none at all.

Website: https://tomsview.ca
Instagram: https://instagram.com/tomslifeafter50

If this episode resonated with you, you’re welcome to follow the podcast or leave a review.
Listening quietly counts too.

Our stories .. yours, and mine.. aren't finished yet. NOT BY A LONG SHOT!

In this deeply personal and unmistakably honest episode, Tom returns to the porch—fire crackling, waves rolling in the background—to unpack the heavy questions weighing on many of us today. From political violence and free speech to media manipulation and the rising tension in North American culture, Tom reflects on how these shifts affect our ability to live freely, especially after 50.

Drawing on lessons from mentors, hard-earned life experience, and books like Man’s Search for Meaning and The Miracle Morning, Tom explores how to separate what’s truly within our control from the noise that steals our peace. He also shares stories from a soul-recharging solo camping trip along Lake Superior, reminding us why nature, solitude, and intentional living are more essential now than ever.

This episode is an invitation—to unplug, to think for yourself, to focus on what really matters, and to build a meaningful life on your own terms. No preaching. No politics. Just raw truth, self-reflection, and the quiet wisdom that comes from a man living simply, solo, and rural after 50.

If you're a 50-something man navigating a noisy world, this is your campfire moment.

Website: https://www.tomsview.ca

Instagram: https://instagram.com/tomslifeafter50

Title: Not Today: Bullying After 50, Boundaries & Your Next Chapter

Summary:
Recorded on a warm mid-August night in Northern Ontario, Tom shares a formative high-school story about facing a bully—and what it taught him about boundaries, dignity, and dealing with adult bullying in your 50s. He answers a listener’s Campfire Question on how to respond when someone tries to push you around, then opens up about life changes, winter prep in the north, and a new truck-camper setup for future “Out Here” adventures.

Highlights

• A grade-nine gym-class moment that flipped the power dynamic

• Adult bullying: how to recognize it, why there’s no shame in being targeted, and how not to stay a victim

• Practical responses: call it out, document it, escalate appropriately (supervisor, legal counsel, police)

• Talking to our kids about being upstanders

• Life update: long commute, reconsidering the coaching side-hustle, winter readiness in Northern Ontario

• Adventure plans: Ford Super Duty + truck-bed camper, photography, hiking, kayaking, snowshoeing

• Campfire wisdom: shifting from 1:1 “hand-holding” to broader “hand-ups” and helping the next generation

• The Four Agreements as a north star

Chapters 

• Welcome & summer check-in

• Why talk about bullying now

• The high-school story that changed everything

• Campfire Question: “I’m in my 50s and still shrink from bullies—what do I do?”

• Boundaries, consequences, and safe escalation

• Parenting note: raising witnesses and upstanders

• Life update: work, commute, coaching decision

• Winter prep & the truck-camper adventure rig

• Campfire Wisdom: making your mark in your 50s

• Closing & how to send your questions

Links & Mentions

• Podcast site: tomsview.ca

• Instagram: @tomslifeafter50

• Email: [email protected]

• Book mentioned: The Four Agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz)

Listener Prompt
How will you help the next generation—without carrying dead weight—this year? Tell me on Spotify or YouTube comments.

Note
In the intro I joke about the episode number—this is Episode 5.

Disclaimer
Personal stories and general information only; not professional, legal, or medical advice.

Episode Summary

In this deeply personal solo episode, Tom reflects by the firelight on the lessons he wishes his younger self had known. From shedding the fear of rejection to the value of time freedom, this episode is filled with insight, authenticity, and gentle wisdom for anyone navigating life after 50—or anyone looking to reconnect with themselves.

Tom opens up about judgment, relationships, career choices, and even financial independence, offering powerful takeaways rooted in his own lived experience. It's a thoughtful reminder that growth never ends and self-acceptance is a lifelong journey.

🔥 Why The Four Agreements is essential reading
🔥 The hidden cost of caring too much about others' opinions
🔥 Reframing rejection as a stepping stone, not a stop sign
🔥 The power of quitting the wrong thing
🔥 Time freedom, financial wisdom, and trading money for meaning
🔥 A candid take on love, loneliness, and living solo
🔥 Campfire Wisdom: self-love, journaling, AI introspection, and more
🔥 Campfire Philosophy: “If you're not growing, you're contracting”

📘 The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
💻 Tom’s Coaching Site: Revolutionize.me
📺 YouTube Channel: Tom's Life After 50

🎙 Episode Title:
Men’s Mental Health Month: 7 Simple Habits That Helped Me Heal

📝 Episode Description:
In this episode of Out Here, I get personal.
June is Men’s Mental Health Month, and as someone who’s faced high-functioning depression, seasonal affective disorder, and even a period of suicidality, I’m here to share what helped me heal.

No fluff. Just 7 habits that made a real difference:

1. Breathing techniques to calm anxiety and quiet racing thoughts

2. A simple guided body scan meditation

3. Cutting back on social media & news overload

4. Nourishing your brain with better food and hydration

5. Getting deeper, more restful sleep

6. Spending more time outdoors, even in winter

7. Building real friendships that actually support you

I’m not a therapist, just someone who’s walked the hard road — and now coaches others to rise out of it too.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, flat, or on edge lately, try just one of these habits for a week. You might be surprised how much changes.

⚠️ In Crisis? Help Is Available:
📞 Canada: Call or text 888 (free 24/7 support)
🏥 Or go to your nearest hospital and say: “I’m in crisis.”

🧘‍♂️ Resources Mentioned:
Beginner Meditation Course (Udemy): https://www.udemy.com (search "meditation for beginners")

💬 Want to connect?
Leave a comment or review. Let me know what landed.
You can also find the video version on YouTube.

Thanks for listening — and for taking your mental health seriously.

#MensMentalHealth #OutHerePodcast #MentalFitness #SimpleSoloRural #HealingHabits

Episode 2 – Alone, Not Lonely: 50 Years of Finding My Own Path

Welcome back to Out Here, where life is solo, simple, and rural. In this deeply personal episode, Tom reflects on the first 50 years of his life — the triumphs, betrayals, missteps, and meaningful choices that led him to live alone by the lake in Northern Ontario.

He opens up about being the odd one out from a young age, why conforming never worked for him, the painful but powerful lessons learned from broken trust, and the freedom of embracing a "sigma male" identity.

Tom also discusses the difference between being alone and being lonely, the importance of finding joy instead of chasing fleeting happiness, and how choosing solitude has brought him healing, clarity, and purpose.

🔸 Reflections on high school alienation and college camaraderie
🔸 A raw look at betrayal, forgiveness, and emotional survival
🔸 Plant medicine, personal healing, and future plans in psychology
🔸 Joy vs. happiness, solitude vs. loneliness
🔸 A powerful case for forging your own life — no permission needed

This isn’t a midlife crisis. This is a midlife awakening.

Links:

Website: https://tomsview.ca

Instagram: https://instagram.com/tomslifeafter50

Facebook: https://facebook.com/tomslifeafter50

Ep 1 -- Life is Precious | Solo Life After 50

In this first full-length episode of Out Here, Thomas Detert sits by a real lakeside fire and opens up about the quiet decision that changed everything — leaving behind the city, the noise, the pressure, and trading it for solitude, clarity, and self-reliance in the rural north.

This episode is part story, part reflection, and fully real. Thomas shares the struggles of solo living, the miracle of life itself, his personal journey with high-functioning depression, and the deep satisfaction that comes from living in alignment with who you really are — not what the world expects of you.

You’ll hear how nature, personal growth, and a dog named Lukas all play a role in life after 50 — and why living “out here” may be the very thing your soul has been craving.

Instagram: https://instagram.com/tomslifeafter50

Website: https://tomsview.ca

What if life after 50 wasn't about slowing down — but about coming fully alive?

In this short introductory episode, host Thomas Detert shares the heart behind Out Here: Finding Freedom After 50 — a podcast for men navigating the single life beyond 50 who want something real, quiet, and meaningful outside the noise of the city.

You’ll hear what inspired the show, who it’s for, and what to expect each week — including listener Q&As in Campfire Questions, and deeper reflections in Campfire Wisdom.

If you're walking a different road and looking for clarity, strength, and purpose in this next chapter, you’re in the right place.

Subscribe now and join us out here — where life still has a lot to offer, and your story is far from over.

Follow me on Instagram @tomslifeafter50 - https://instagram.com/tomslifeafter50

Website: https://tomsview.ca