What if the identity we've built around our work is actually the thing holding us back? Not because it's wrong, but because we've let it become a box with walls so high we can't even see over them anymore?

That's what this conversation is really about. My guest Misty Jayne Harmon has been a hairdresser for over 23 years, a money coach, a podcaster, and honestly a lot of other things that don't fit neatly into a bio. We get into the very real mental blocks that come up when you start to outgrow the identity you've created, why the "niche down" advice from the marketing world can become its own kind of trap, and what it actually feels like when you finally give yourself permission to just... be more than one thing.

Fair warning, this one got personal. In a really good way.

Misty on IG: @_mistyjayne_

Website: www.mistyjayne.com

2027 Costa Rica Retreat Waitlist: https://mistyjayne.mykajabi.com/costa-rica-2027-waitlist

Andrew's Wayfaring Method Coach Certification (Starts May 2026): www.outofstep.life/wayfaringmethod

[0:00] The identity trap — and who this episode is for

[2:19] Introducing Misty Jane Harmon

[3:48] Check-in: one word each — mental, emotional, spiritual, physical

[5:10] When COVID took away the hairdresser identity — and what that revealed

[8:10] The validation machine: what hairdressers get that coaches don't

[11:29] The slow build — why stepping into coaching is harder than it looks

[14:14] Starting from zero: lessons from Misty's first coaching client

[19:16] Figuring out your lane — and why it takes longer than you think

[21:32] How Misty Jane the money coach was born (hint: Toastmasters)

[26:48] When the box starts to feel too small

[30:19] What do I put in my Instagram bio? (It's a real block, not a stupid one)

[31:52] Identity, marketing, and the high school cafeteria energy of social media

[36:49] The session that changed everything — keep hairdresser or drop it?

[40:44] Does the container guide you or confine you?

[42:30] The playground fence study — why boundaries create freedom

[46:11] Is comfort zone always the enemy? Maybe not.

[49:20] Back-sided commitments — the invisible limits we set on ourselves

[53:46] What pure coaching actually looks like vs. consulting

[57:35] Evolving publicly — and why it gives others permission to do the same

[59:27] What even is failure? And does it matter?

[1:04:50] Advice to her younger self: don't discount the mistakes

Out of Step is hosted by Andrew Carruthers — outofstep.life

What if the most powerful thing a teacher can do is refuse to be your guru? That's the question at the heart of this conversation — and honestly, it's one I had to sit with myself before we even hit record.

My guest is Frank Inzan Owen who has become a co-Wayfarer and teacher on my journey. I found him through a secondhand book my wife picked up from a friend's moving pile. Ten pages in, I knew I had to find whoever wrote it. That search eventually led me here... to one of the most important convos I've had about walking our own path.

We get into what it really means to be a wayfarer, the difference between a teacher and a guru, and why I recently had to admit I was looking for someone to just tell me the right way forward. LOL. Spoiler: that's not how this works.

Frank is a wayfarer of a nature-centric contemplative path rooted in East Asian traditions. He's a poet, hill walker, organic gardener, and facilitator of a Jungian-informed practice he calls Soulfaring. He curates a Substack called The Luminous Procession that I can't recommend enough!

🌐 https://soulfaring.org/

🌐 https://www.theluminousprocession.com/

Want more info on The Wayfaring Method coach training and certification?

🌐 https://outofstep.life/wayfaringmethod

[0:01] Welcome to Season 2 + Wayfaring Method cohort is open

[1:06] How I found Frank — the secondhand book story

[4:39] Check-in: one word each — mental, emotional, spiritual, physical

[6:26] What is a Wayfarer? The word across traditions

[9:08] The shift from way seeker to wayfarer — and what Soul Faring is

[13:18] The tension between the wayfarer and the guru model

[14:23] I asked Frank to be my mentor. His response changed everything.

[16:46] Frank's history with teachers — and the clear mirror

[20:16] The triangle: where is the point aimed?

[24:57] "Not passed down — passed over, like a cup of tea"

[29:05] When a teacher told me my eclectic spirituality meant I was "lost"

[31:40] "But what if I do it wrong?" + You're never not on the path.

[35:20] The models for direct experience are the mentor

[41:24] "It sounds like that faucet is running dry" — the oasis image

[46:13] Practice as antidote + the world of red dust

[51:54] If you're only doing yoga in the studio, you're not doing yoga

[53:30] The Aikido subway story + where to start as a wayfarer

📘 The Mist-Filled Path — Frank MacEowen

📚 Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind — Shunryu Suzuki

📚 Future Shock / The Third Wave / Power Shift — Alvin Toffler

📚 Aikido and the New Warrior — "A Kind Word Turneth Away Wrath"

🌬️ Numa Breathwork

Out of Step is hosted by Andrew Carruthers — outofstep.life

There’s no clean path to finding our place in this work… and definitely no five-step formula.

In this solo reflection, I wrap up The Way Beneath the Work mini-series by sharing what’s been most nourishing, challenging, and real for me after conversations with Ari, Sagewolf, Sarai, and Kathleen. From spirituality and community to the necessity of hard experiences and the willingness to follow inner callings, this episode pulls together the deeper threads that have been running beneath it all.

If you’re someone who supports other humans—and you’re trying to find your own authentic way of doing that—this is a reminder that the path isn’t something you follow… it’s something you walk.

We talk about:

• Why there are no shortcuts to real inner work
• The role of spirituality (without dogma) in guiding others
• The difference between surface-level and deep, accountable community
• Why the hard stuff isn’t optional if you want depth
• Following inner callings (even when it doesn’t feel like courage)
• Exploring your edges and expanding your “fence”
• What’s next for the podcast + an invitation into the Wayfaring Method

This is the end of the mini-series… and the beginning of what’s next.

The next cohort of the Wayfaring Method is now open!

www.outofstep.life/wayfaringmethod for more info

00:00 Closing the mini-series + why this journey matters
02:00 Wayfaring Method announcement + inner work as foundation
03:20 The biggest theme: there are no shortcuts
04:30 Ari + the role of spirituality (without dogma)
08:30 Sagewolf + deeper, more accountable community
12:00 Sarai + why the hard experiences are non-negotiable
15:00 Depth vs. “high vibe” living (and the illusion of ease)
17:30 Holding multiple facets of self (Bill Plotkin model)
19:30 Kathleen + following inner callings without waiting for courage
22:00 Living in transition + learning to move with change
23:30 Exploring edges + the playground/fence metaphor
26:30 Expanding your “fence” through other perspectives
27:00 What success actually felt like from this series
28:30 What’s next: Season 2 + continuing to push edges

You know when a friend you love introduces you to another cool-ass human… and you instantly know you’re supposed to be homies? That’s Kathleen Funk.
She’s a 4th generation healer with a doctorate in Traditional Chinese Medicine who left a successful integrative clinic… and followed the call into art, energy work, and what she (rightfully) calls “Don’t Call It Woo.”

In this conversation, we get into the real journey beneath the work: how your “niche” isn’t a box you lock yourself into, why most people don’t pivot fast enough, and what it looks like to trust the winding road instead of waiting for perfect certainty. Kathleen shares the leap from “valid profession” expectations and Western-friendly credibility… into subtle energy mapping, chi flow “weather reports,” and using art as a form of liberation and decolonizing wellness.

If you’ve ever felt the itch to evolve, the guilt of changing lanes, or the fear of leaving something that’s working… this one will land.

Connect with Kathleen:

• Instagram: @acufuncture
• Patreon community: Don’t Call It Woo
• Request an appointment for an Energy Map https://acufunkture.com

Chapters:

00:00 — Intro: “cool-ass people” + who Kathleen is
03:05 — Truest/highest self: power, alignment, shadow + vitality
05:50 — Eco-niche, purpose, and why the path is never a straight line
09:44 — The niche trap: branding before voice (backwards)
13:55 — Permission to evolve (and stop feeling guilty about it)
18:29 — Pivot vs. “bailing”: how to tell what’s actually happening
22:33 — Fear, community, and launching “Don’t Call It Woo” anyway
27:56 — Kathleen’s origin story: 4th gen healer → TCM doctorate
32:51 — Healing beyond symptoms: emotional, energetic, spiritual root-work
39:07 — The limits of Western-valid credibility + scaling burnout
41:12 — The lease renewal moment: “nope, not five more years”
48:13 — When the body forces the issue: losing vision + the call to paint
55:55 — Sabbatical + intuitive painting: the door that opened everything
01:02:32 — Art residencies: Canada woods + Italy cathedrals
01:04:47 — Energy Maps: visual reflections of the subtle body
01:07:33 — Returning to 1:1 work: sustainable, energizing, guided by Spirit
01:12:13 — How to work with Kathleen now (Patreon + 1:1)
01:14:25 — Closing: gratitude, love, and “my cup is full”

This episode has a whole bunch of f-cks—and it’s not for shock value, it’s part of the medicine!
Sarai Speer tells the real story: what it cost to survive, heal, and rebuild capacity from the inside out on her journey to Authenticity.

If you’ve ever looked “fine” while your nervous system was completely maxed out… this one’s for you.

Sarai is a nervous system + mental health coach, international speaker, and creator of The Held Method + Capacity Club. We talk about what “highest self” actually feels like vs our "parts", how identity becomes more fluid with real adulthood, why the leap into purpose rarely comes with a map, and how healing can look like kintsugi—broken pieces fused with gold.

Content note: vulnerable discussion of abuse, addiction/drug use, eating disorders, and mental health. Please take care while listening.

Links!

H.E.L.D. Nervous System Course (aka Regulate the Fuck Outta Yourself) https://saraispeer.com/held-method

Sarai's Podcast: https://feeds.transistor.fm/combative-calm-f977c95b-c833-4586-b855-ea716d63e8d4

Website: https://saraispeer.com/

1:1 Coaching Call: https://saraispeer.com/inside-out-session

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theplatinumgiraffe/

00:00 Intro + warning: lots of f-bombs
03:43 “Highest self” question
04:27 What it looks like (confidence, aura, “I don’t give a f-ck”)
06:06 What it sounds like (big presence, pace, intensity)
08:53 What it feels like (powerful/soft, masculine/feminine)
13:05 Sarai’s origin story begins (assault, anger, eating disorder)
17:45 Addiction escalates + homelessness
20:05 Sobriety + work becoming the next addiction
23:45 Leaving the hair industry + coming back to core self
32:43 Kintsugi metaphor + “what filled the cracks?”
34:04 Zone of greatness vs zone of genius (The Big Leap)
40:23 The leap has no map + pain of staying > fear of leaving
44:07 Practices that helped: yoga, slowing down, intuition
53:46 Authenticity = embracing all parts (not linear)
01:04:12 Poem: nature as teacher (calm + chaos, release + rise)
01:07:03 Closing: intuition vs fear (“soft/quiet” vs “loud”)
01:09:20 Gratitude + wrap

In Episode 3, I sit down with my brother Sagewolf... devoted father of five, husband, and powerful guide for men. We talk about the lifelong hunger for community, how it changes over time, and what becomes possible when you’re willing to meet yourself honestly. This one goes deep into accountability, supportive confrontation and the kind of community that doesn’t just comfort you... it sharpens you.

This episode is part of the mini-series The Way Beneath “The Work,” where I’m exploring the deeper, often unseen journey of finding your true place in the ecosystem of supporting other humans. Sagewolf and I trace the thread of community through his life from being the kid who just wanted to be with his people, to becoming someone immersed in potent circles and now helping lead them.

We talk about the shift from chasing belonging through identity, achievement, and external validation to discovering a deeper form of community rooted in acceptance, radical honesty, and ownership. Sagewolf shares how years behind the chair in the hair world became an unexpected mirror reflecting patterns back to him and sparking meaningful change. From there, we explore ecstatic dance as “church,” embodied spaces, and what changed when he stepped into Sacred Sons.

One of the most powerful moments we unpack is Sagewolf’s first experience being asked to name a judgment toward someone he didn’t know, and meet it directly. We explore how facing charge in real time can transform judgment into connection, and how intimacy isn’t just sexual... it’s about a true closeness without barriers.

We also talk about why so many people struggle to receive community mirrors at all... the “I’m fine” mask, the drive to keep it together, and the tendency to wait until rock bottom before reaching out. We break down the difference between being called out and being called in, and why real community doesn’t exile you when you’re out of alignment, it invites you back in.

If you’ve been craving deeper community but don’t know where to start, Sagewolf offers grounded guidance: show up more than once, move your body, be willing to raise your hand first—and if you can’t find what you need, create it. Sometimes it really does start with a few people, a meal, and one honest conversation.

As always, listen with ears and heart open. Take what speaks. Leave what doesn’t. And keep showing up.

Connect with Sagewolf: https://www.instagram.com/sagewolf_eto_eda/

00:00 — Welcome to Out Of Step & The Way Beneath “The Work”

02:05 — Introducing Sage Wolf

04:00 — What Does Your Most Authentic Self Look, Sound, and Feel Like?

07:10 — A Lifelong Hunger for Community

12:30 — The Hair World as a Mirror

16:45 — Early Personal Development & Cracks in the Old Identity

18:30 — First Steps Into Men’s Work

20:45 — Discovering Sacred Sons

24:30 — Acceptance, Radical Honesty, and Ownership

28:45 — Why People Can’t Receive Community Mirrors

33:20 — The First Sacred Sons Experience

36:45 — Meeting Judgment Head-On

44:45 — Brotherhood vs. Social Circles

47:30 — Accountability, Reps, and Sharpening the Edge

52:30 — Finding Your Version of Accountability

55:45 — Call-Out vs. Call-In

58:45 — How to Build This Kind of Community

01:02:30 — A Human Reminder

01:05:20 — Gratitude & Closing

This episode is a deep conversation about ancestry, spirit, and the support available to us when we remember where we come from. I’m joined by my friend Ari Huitzilopotchli, who works with women in midlife navigating identity shifts, endings, and the space between who they were and who they’re becoming.

This conversation is part of The Way Beneath the Work — a mini-series exploring what it really takes to find our true place within the ecosystem of supporting other humans. Not through branding, titles, or positioning, but through a deeper remembering of who we are and how we’re meant to serve.

Ari shares her own journey... from decades behind the chair in the salon to the deeply grounded work she holds now with individuals, women in midlife, and couples. Together, we explore ancestry, spirit, guidance, and how to tell the difference between intuition and the anxious head-chatter that so often pulls us off our path.

We talk about elders, lineage, belonging, and why this work is not meant to be rushed. Why healing isn’t something to “finish,” and why so many of us feel disconnected from our worth, our purpose, and our sense of place — even while helping others find theirs.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, listen more deeply, and trust the longer journey of becoming who you’re here to be.

Listen with an open heart. Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t.

Connect with Ari:

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/fearless.femme.life/

Website: https://www.fearlessfemmelife.com/

00:00 — An Invitation to Listen
How to meet this conversation with curiosity instead of agreement.

02:25 — Belonging Beneath the Roles
Why this work isn’t about titles, branding, or identity labels.

04:10 — Ari & the Call of Ancestry
Meeting Ari and her relationship with spirit and lineage.

07:45 — Growing Up with Spirit
Early awareness, family dynamics, and learning to live with the gift.

12:30 — The Salon as Sacred Space
Holding space long before having language for it.

17:50 — Medicine, Elders, and Restraint
Why guidance requires maturity, lineage, and care.

22:40 — Spirit vs. Head Chatter
How to tell intuition from fear-based thinking.

28:15 — Trusting the Leap
Fear, courage, and walking the path anyway.

33:00 — Beyond Fixing Ourselves
Why healing isn’t something to “complete.”

38:40 — The Body Remembers
Memory, fascia, and embodied release.

43:20 — When You Feel Disconnected
Rebuilding relationship with ancestry and spirit.

49:30 — This Takes Time
Why the long road matters.

54:40 — A Message from Spirit
A closing blessing on belonging and love.

Holy shit friends—here we go.

This podcast has been rattling around in my head for seven or eight years. For a long time, it felt like something I should do. Especially if you’re in the coaching world the message was - have a podcast, build the brand, do the thing. And honestly, that pressure is probably why I didn’t start it back then.

This year, something shifted. It stopped being about my business and started feeling like it had real purpose. Like something I needed to say, whether it “worked” or not.

Out of Step is for people who support other humans—coaches, mentors, facilitators, educators, leaders, healers. But more specifically, it’s for those of us who feel like we live a little off the map of those worlds. The ones who don’t quite fit the standard strategies, systems, or personalities that seem to dominate these industries.

In this first episode, I share my own long, messy path—from hairdressing apprentice, to educator, to coach—and the parts of that journey that almost broke me. Burnout. The terrifying experience of losing my relationship with my voice. Questioning who I was and whether I even belonged in this work. And how all of that eventually led me to a way of working that feels honest and sustainable—what I now call Wayfaring.

This isn’t a how-to episode. It’s not cleaned up. It’s an origin story. Real stories, real questions, and some uncomfortable truths about what it actually takes to walk this path of supporting other humans.

If you’ve ever felt drawn to this work but uneasy with the usual formulas…
If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s another way to do this without losing yourself…
You’re in the right place.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Out of Step Podcast

01:44 The Purpose Behind the Podcast

05:44 Andrew's Journey in Hairdressing

10:49 Transitioning to Education and Coaching

18:45 Facing Burnout and Rediscovering Purpose

27:40 The Impact of COVID and Shifting Focus

30:14 Embracing Authenticity and Rebranding

36:33 Conclusion and Call to Action