Welcome to Season 3 of Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl! Today I'm sharing my personal 3 key takeaways from my journey these past few years. These are 3 things I've come to believe about the faith journey, and I hope they can encourage you too! 

XOXO, Tiffany Dawn

BOOKS + DEVOS I WROTE😍👇
Practical tips + fun to read - all about relationships + singleness!
👉https://shorturl.at/hrPY4

YOUTUBE: YouTube.com/c/tiffanydawn

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Enter book giveaway by commenting: "WINNER" on Youtube!
Here's the link: https://youtu.be/RzvF20rp9is

Today we're talking with Lisa Colón DeLay about rethinking devotions and how we connect with God. How can we refresh our hearts when doing the same old “devotional routine” feels like a burden instead of life-giving? What other ways can we connect with God through spiritual practices from different cultures and times?

I LOVED this interview and can't wait to share it with you. Welcome back to  "Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl"! XOXO, Tiffany 

HERE ARE TODAY'S QUESTIONS:
Q1: What does deconstruction mean to you? (@5:17)

Q2: For me deconstruction has had a lot to do with how I understand Scripture and its intent. How do you understand biblical intent and how has that evolved on your journey? (@7:50)

Q3: Many of us have grown up with a very disciplined approach to daily devotions as THE way to connect with God. What do you think devotions are expected to look like? And what are the fruits (good and/or bad) of that approach? (@13:40)

Q4: When I was growing up, Bible reading and prayer were the primary way of connecting with God. And those are great ways to grow in faith. But what do you think would be a more holistic approach for our spiritual health? How might our personality types play into the ways we connect with God? (@19:10)

Q5: There was a point in my life where Bible reading began to feel like such a stressful burden, that I just stopped reading it for awhile. But at the same time, I still believed the Bible was so important! What are your thoughts on all this? (@22:10)

Q6: What does it mean to you to take care of your soul and study the Bible? How does this play out in your life? (@27:28)

Q7: In your book “The Wild Land Within,” you talk about different spiritual practices from different cultures and different times. Would you share a few of these practices that might be helpful, especially for those of us whose devotions might be feeling stale right now? (@32:55)

Q8: On the other extreme, it can be tempting to not care for our souls at all. Why is that a dangerous extreme? Why is soul care so important? (@43:40)

Q9: If we’re feeling a lot of guilt over missed “devotions,” what does that guilt do to our souls? (@48:02)

Q10: Let’s go to a bird’s eye view again. Part of deconstruction is deciding what you are taking forward with you, and what you are leaving behind. Do you have any examples of this in your own life that you’d feel comfortable sharing? (@52:50)

Q11: You have a ton of resources for people who are looking for holistic and healing ways to connect with God. Can you share those resources with us? (@56:20)

LISA’S RESOURCES:
⭐️“The Wild Land Within” by Lisa: https://a.co/d/icVaJRk
⭐️The “Spark My Muse” Podcast: https://lisadelay.com/blog/
⭐️Lisa’s website: https://lisadelay.com/blog/about/
⭐️IG: @lisacolondelay
⭐️My interview on Lisa’s podcast: https://lisadelay.com/blog/eps-228-guest-tiffany-dawn-on-leaving-her-tiny-christian-bubble/

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Today we're talking with Wendy Snyder about parenting young children in a firm but KIND manner. What does Jesus Himself teach us about parenting? Has our preoccupation with sin caused our kids not to trust their hearts and bodies? What are some practical parenting strategies?

I LOVED this interview and can't wait to share it with you. Welcome back to  "Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl"! XOXO, Tiffany 

HERE ARE TODAY'S QUESTIONS:
Q1: What does deconstruction mean to you? (@5:07)

Q2: For me deconstruction has had a lot to do with how I understand Scripture and its intent. How do you understand biblical intent and how has that evolved on your journey? (@7:54)

Q3: Let’s dive into that Bible verse about “sparing the rod.” Would you speak to the idea of spanking? (@14:03)

Q4: What is the biblical precedent for using other methods of discipline, or a gentler approach to parenting young children? (@21:50)

Q5: There are many misconceptions about what “gentle parenting” even means. What are some of those misconceptions, and what does “gentle parenting” or “positive parenting” even mean? (@24:20)

Q6: Let’s talk about Psalm 51:5, “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” I grew up thinking that misbehavior came from sin, whereas modern psychology seems to be at odds with this. Can you help us better understand Psalm 51:5 and this idea of seeing kids as sinful? (@31:25)

Q7: What are a few tips for more loving, more compassionate parenting? Especially if your child is struggling with behaviors that seem negative? (@38:46)

Q8: If a parenting is struggling with setting and following through on boundaries with their children, what advice would you give? (@46:25)

Q9: You have a ton of resources for parents who want to learn more about a powerful and positive approach to parenting. Can you share those resources with us? (@51:38)

WENDY’S RESOURCES:
⭐️ “The Firm and Kind Blueprint” - use code TIFFANYDAWN10OFF - freshstartfamilyonline.com/discipline
⭐️ The Fresh Start Family Podcast: https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/show/
⭐️ Wendy’s website: freshstartfamilyonline.com
⭐️ IG: @freshstartwendy

OTHER RECOMMENDED RESOURCES:
⭐️ “Woven: Nuturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn’t Have to Heal From” by Meredith Miller: https://a.co/d/jdfkb15
⭐️ “Jesus, the Gentle Parent” by L.R. Knost: https://a.co/d/3ECnpo7
⭐️ Dr. David & Amanda: flourishinghomesandfamilies.com

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Today we're talking with Sheila Gregoire about her book "She Deserves Better" and how to raise daughters with self-esteem! How do you instill faith without forcing it onto a child? How do you teach healthy boundaries? And what should parents know about "the sex talk"?

I LOVED this interview and can't wait to share it with you. Welcome back to "Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl"! XOXO, Tiffany 

HERE ARE TODAY'S QUESTIONS:
Q1: What does deconstruction mean to you? (@4:30)

Q2: For me deconstruction has had a lot to do with how I understand Scripture and its intent. How do you understand biblical intent and how has that evolved on your journey? (@5:45)

Q3: In "She Deserves Better," you talk a lot about parenting - less from a place of perfect doctrine, and more from a place of good vs. bad fruit. Can you tell us more about that? (@9:28)

Q4: People often say that good fruit is different than good outcomes. What are your thoughts on that? (@11:59)

Q5: How do we parent for connection, and why is that a biblical approach? (@13:44)

Q6: Let's talk about Proverbs 13:24 about "sparing the rod." When I grew up, it seemed like the only "Christian" way to discipline was by spanking your kids. What do you think about this? (@15:15)

Q7: In "She Deserves Better," you talk about letting children come to God instead of forcing them. How do we introduce faith to our kids in a healthy way? (@18:27)

Q8: In "She Deserves Better" you talked about raising girls who set boundaries and speak up for themselves. Can you tell us about your idea of "remember what Jesus did and didn't die for" and how that can help girls set boundaries? (@21:31)

Q9: Is self-esteem actually biblical? And how can we instill self-esteem as parents? (@24:33)

Q10: Do you have any practical tips for how to instill self-esteem in a child? (@26:58)

Q11: Can you talk about the difference in authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting styles? (@28:52)

Q12: Let's talk about Proverbs 22:6, "train up a child..." I've known a lot of Christians who try so hard to do everything "right" to train up their child in faith, but it almost seemed to backfire. What do you think this verse is talking about? And can trying too hard actually backfire? (@30:43)

Q13: What wisdom would you share with parents who are feeling afraid, or parenting out of "fear" of making a mistake with their child? (@33:21)

Q14: I know of parents who believe their child is walking in sin, and the parents cut off connection with their child. What are your thoughts on that? (@35:22)

Q15: What are some things you are glad you did as a parent, and what are some things you wish you'd done differently? (@37:08)

Q16: Part of deconstruction is asking, “What parts of my faith do I bring forward with me, and which do I leave behind?” Do you have any examples of this you would feel comfortable sharing? (@39:12)

Q17: One of the things you are passionate about, is talking about sex. What advice and resources would you give for parents who want to teach their kids about sex in a healthy way? (@41:56)

SHEILA'S RESOURCES:
⭐️ "She Deserves Better" (book) - https://a.co/d/8K3yRki

⭐️ "The Whole Story" (sex + puberty online course) - use code TIFFANY0824 for 20% off during August 2024! - http://thewholestory.thinkific.com/courses/WholeStoryVIP?ref=eb28db

⭐️See all of Sheila's online courses here:
http://sheilawraygregoire.thinkific.com
Use code TIFFANY0824 for 20% off during August 2024!

⭐️ https://sheilawraygregoire.com + https://baremarriage.com

⭐️ IG: sheilagregoire

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Today we're talking with Lora about her story of deconstructing while on the missions field—and also how gender discrimination contributed to her journey! Is our approach to evangelical missions working? Is there a better approach? How does our approach affect single women in ministry? 

I LOVED this interview and can't wait to share it with you. Welcome back to  "Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl"! XOXO, Tiffany 

HERE ARE TODAY'S QUESTIONS:

Q1: What does deconstruction mean to you? (@4:08)

Q2: For me deconstruction has had a lot to do with how I understand Scripture and its intent. How do you understand biblical intent and how has that evolved on your journey? (@6:27)

Q3: Let’s dive into your story. What were your life and faith like as you were growing up? (@9:37)

Q4: When did you know you wanted to do full-time missions? And what was it like when you started? (@13:41)

Q5: Are you allowed to share where your overseas missions were? And tell us about how your faith began to change, and how that began to shift your understanding of missions. (@18:05)

Q6: What was it like to start asking these questions while being a missionary funded by supporters who may have been much more conservative than you? (@22:26)

Q7: What is it that has kept you committed to missions instead of pursuing a different career path? (@39:50)

Q8: If you were to reimagine our approach to evangelism, as the western church, what are some things you would like to see, and why? (@45:34)

Q9: As we wrap up, I know you and your husband are now on a new missions post in an inclusive church. What is the work like there? How did you finally discover an organization you could actually sign on with? (@51:39)

Q10: Part of deconstruction is asking, “What parts of my faith do I bring forward with me, and which do I leave behind?” Do you have any examples of this you would feel comfortable sharing? (@54:33)

Q11: Do you have any resources or even just advice that you’d share with people who want to think about our western approach to missions? (@56:05)

LORA’S RECOMMENDED RESOURCES:
⭐️ “A Just Mission” by Mekdes Haddis: https://a.co/d/exgAhhv
⭐️ “Curveball” by Pete Enns: https://a.co/d/jh1yplG
⭐️ “The Inner Voice of Love” by Henri Nouwen: https://a.co/d/9tqJF1v

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Today we're talking with Dr. Cynthia Hester about the theology of women in church leadership. What are women’s roles biblically, when it comes to the church? Have we made doctrine from disputed texts? What are 1 Corinthians 14 and 1 Timothy 2 actually telling us?

I LOVED this interview and can't wait to share it with you. Welcome back to  "Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl"! 
 XOXO, Tiffany 
 
 HERE ARE TODAY'S QUESTIONS:
 Q1: What does deconstruction mean to you? (@4:05)
 
 Q2: For me deconstruction has had a lot to do with how I understand Scripture and its intent. How do you understand biblical intent and how has that evolved on your journey? (@5:10)
 
 Q3: Let’s dig into women in leadership. Can you walk us through some background? How do you think this topic has been understood in western evangelical circles for the last couple decades? And what have been some fruits, good and/or bad, of that perspective? (@7:02)
 
 Q4: (I share some of my backstory with this topic.) There are passages in the Bible that seem like a very clear call for women not to be able to lead. Can you break these down for us contextually? Are there other passages that should inform how we read these verses? (@12:20)

Q5: Let’s dive into 1 Corinthians 14. (@14:56)
 
 Q6: What Bible passages and principles do you feel are more helpful in informing our theology of women in leadership? (@27:04)
 
 Q7: I think we’re often afraid of coming to the “wrong” perspective theologically, which can make us afraid to explore issues like these and think differently. What would you say to that fear? (@33:30)

Q8: Let’s dive into 1 Timothy 2. (@35:55)
 
 Q9: You have a ton of resources on this topic, including an entire online course on biblical womanhood. Can you tell us about these resources and where my listeners can find you? (@45:34)
 
 WHERE TO FIND DR. CYNTHIA HESTER:

⭐️Theology of Women Academy: https://cynthiahester.com/course/

⭐️ https://cynthiahester.com/

⭐️“40 Questions About Women in Ministry” book:
 https://a.co/d/bOc3dL4

⭐️Instagram: @cynthiahester1 / Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/1CynthiaHester

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Today we're talking with Ngina Otiende, a marriage coach who is helping us deconstruct some harmful ways we’ve viewed marriage and divorce. Does God really hate divorce, or is that a mistranslation of the verse? Is marriage meant to make us holy or is it also meant to be good and bring joy? PLUS, we take a FASCINATING sidebar to discuss why some Christians refer to God as “they!” 

I LOVED this interview and can't wait to share it with you. XOXO, Tiffany

HERE ARE TODAY'S QUESTIONS: 
Q1: What does deconstruction mean to you? (@4:42) 

Q2: How do you understand biblical intent and how has that evolved on your journey? (@6:58)  

Q3: Let’s dive into your story. Would you share with us what your life and faith were like growing up? (@8:06)  

Q4: Let’s talk about theology around marriage and divorce. How do you think this topic has been understood in western evangelical circles in the last couple decades? What have been some fruits (good or bad) of that perspective? (@10:38)  

Q5: What led you to begin deconstructing these ideas of marriage and divorce that were handed to you? What was that process like for you? (@14:12)  

Q6: Are there scripture passages that have been misunderstood, or even weaponized to keep people in unhealthy marriages? If so, can you break those down for us and help us understand them better? (@18:19)  

Q7: When you look at the Bible as a whole, and at Jesus Himself, what have you come to believe God’s heart is toward marriage and divorce? (@27:30) 

Q8: Why do some Christians refer to God as “They”? Where does that come from biblically? (@30:54)

Q9: What do you believe a healthy marriage should look like for Christians? It’ll look different for everyone, but are there key pillars that are often found in healthy marriages? (@39:05)

Q10: We’ve heard that divorce is okay if there’s harm or unfaithfulness in a marriage. But is there ever a time when there’s no “harm” there, but divorce is still the loving and healthy option? How do we know if this is true for our specific situation? (@46:48)

Q11: How can we as the church do a better job of ministering to people who are (A) going through a divorce or (B) setting boundaries in a relationship that needs healing? (@52:13)

Q12: You have a ton of resources for people trying to navigate marriage, divorce, and healthy relationships. Can you share your resources, and where my listeners can find you? (@55:40)

 WHERE TO FIND NGINA OTIENDE:
⭐️Instagram: @nginaotiende; Facebook: @intentionaltoday
⭐️Book: Courage: Reflections and Liberation for the Hurting Soul https://intentionaltoday.com/courage-reflections-and-liberation-for-the-hurting-soul/
⭐️ Free eBook "16 Things You Won't Find in a Healthy Marriage" https://intentionaltoday.com/marriage-library/
⭐️Blog: https://intentionaltoday.com/blog
⭐️Website & Resources: IntentionalToday.com

NGINA’S RECOMMENDED RESOURCES:
⭐️For partners who wonder if it's more that just a really difficult relationship. "Is This Abuse? Recognizing Red Flags." by Sarah McDugal: https://www.wildernesstowild.com/is-it-abuse/
⭐️"Are you in an emotionally abusive Christian marriage?" Take  the quiz.  By Natalie Hoffman, www.emotionalabusequiz.com
⭐️SAFER CHURCHES | Awareness Seminar by Sarah McDugal, introduce your community to more effective ways to prevent and respond to abuse. www.wildernesstowild.com/safer-churches-seminar/
⭐️Healthy marriage advice and research (in which they have identified that a lot of stuff taught in church about marriage, sex, and gender roles actually leads to worse sex and less happy marriages.) https://baremarriage.com/

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Here's an unplanned, raw chat with me and James! Based on some comments we've received, we wanted to talk more about the heart behind this podcast, and why I'm so passionate about talking about controversial theology. I hope this can encourage you!
Much love, Tiffany (& James)

MY PODCAST EPISODES ON THE THEOLOGY BEHIND LGBTQ:
⭐️Let's Talk About The Whole Bible: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2zJiyACYRI
⭐️Let's Talk About Romans: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r60q67y5ZiI

BOOKS & COURSE I RECOMMEND:
⭐️God and the Gay Christian: https://a.co/d/344gQ32
⭐️Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships: https://a.co/d/2A4uKwn
⭐️Scripture and Sexual Ethics Course: https://reformationproject.org/courses/scripture-and-sexual-ethics/

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Today we're talking with my friend Heather, who is sharing her story of coming out as a queer Christian. That isn’t a statement you often hear, but her faith is vibrant and alive! What led her to come out? What led her to be a Christian? And why does she feel such a call on her life to build bridges between people with different theologies in this area?
  
  I LOVED this interview and can't wait to share it with you. Welcome back to  "Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl"! 
  XOXO, Tiffany 
  
  HERE ARE TODAY'S QUESTIONS:
  Q1: What does deconstruction mean to you? (@3:50)
  
 Q2: For me deconstruction has had a lot to do with how I understand Scripture and its intent. How do you understand biblical intent and how has that evolved on your journey? (@5:20)
  
  Q3: Let’s dive into your story. Would you share with us what your life and faith were like growing up? (@8:06)
  
  Q4: When did you start wondering when you might be gay? Did your faith affect the process, or your process affect your faith? And if so, how? (@11:05)
  
  Q5: When you came out to your Christian community, how did people respond? Did this affect your faith? (@19:33)
  
  Q6: What fruit are you seeing from your decision to come out? (@25:32)
  
  Q7: What has been helpful in those conversations, specifically with people who think it’s a sin to be gay? From your perspective, is it more about showing your life, or is it certain conversations you have? Are there any resources that have helped you? (@28:09)
  
 Q8: What are some things you’d recommend for people who’ve been really hurt by the church? What has helped you find healing and confidence? Are there times when you have to set boundaries to protect yourself? (@31:22)

Q9: Are there times where it’s helpful to talk more about the theology you’re coming from, and why biblically you’ve come to different conclusions? (@35:34)

Q10: You said the LGBTQ+ community had shown you a picture of what church could be. Could you talk about that? (@42:34)

Q11: Have you seen different understandings of what it means to love? A lot of times we think loving someone means pointing out their sin. What are your thoughts on that, or pointing out if someone’s hurting themselves? What’s that balance? (@44:27)

Q12: Something many of us have been taught is that a person can’t have a real faith and be openly in the queer community. Can you tell us what faith means to you now, and how it’s changed these last few years? (@48:52)

Q13: As we wrap up this interview, I have two final questions. First, let’s go to a bird’s eye view again. Part of deconstruction is asking: What parts of my faith do I bring forward with me, and what parts do I leave behind? So I’m asking all my guests: Do you have any examples of this in your own life that you’d feel comfortable sharing? (@50:12)

Q14: Do you have any resources or advice for people who are deconstructing their faith and/or questioning their sexuality? (@51:20)

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Today we're talking with biblical scholar Karen Keen, exploring human sexuality - both same sex relationships, and premarital sex. What is the larger biblical story and vision for human sexuality? What do all the "weird" stories in the Bible teach us about human sexuality? What happens when we as Christians disagree on our theology of sexuality?
 
 I LOVED this interview and can't wait to share it with you. Welcome back to  "Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl"! 
 XOXO, Tiffany 
 
 HERE ARE TODAY'S QUESTIONS:
  Q1: What does deconstruction mean to you? (@4:10)
  
 Q2: For me deconstruction has had a lot to do with how I understand Scripture and its intent. How do you understand biblical intent and how has that evolved on your journey? (@8:04)
  
  Q3: Would you share with us first what you believed about sexuality growing up, and if that began to change at some point, what sparked that faith shift? (@12:32)
  
  Q4: What scriptures or biblical principals have you found that inform your understanding of biblical sexuality? (@15:22)
  
  Q5: Are there any other overarching principals that are important for us to understand before we dig into the specifics of biblical sexuality? (@23:17)
  
  Q6: Let’s dive into the big questions we have about LGBTQ+ - can you be in a same sex relationship as a Christian, while still honoring God and the Bible? Why or why not? How does biblical intent and literacy play into this? (@30:53)
  
  Q7: Let’s talk briefly about abstinence before marriage. What do you believe the Bible teaches us about sexuality before marriage? (@50:48)
  
  Q8: When it comes to controversial issues like these, where many Christians disagree on the “right theology,” can we come to different conclusions? When is it appropriate to just build bridges, vs when is it important to speak up about theologies that might be hurting someone else? (@56:40)

Q9: You have a ton of resources for people trying to navigate and better understand biblical sexual ethics. Can you share your resources, and where my listeners can find you? (@1:02:22)
 
  WHERE TO FIND KAREN KEEN:

⭐️Instagram: @keen.kr

⭐️“Scripture and Sexual Ethics” Course: https://reformationproject.org/courses/scripture-and-sexual-ethics/

⭐️Website: https://www.redwoodspiritualcare.com (also has her substack on this topic of sexuality!)

⭐️“Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same Sex Relationships” book: https://a.co/d/07PLTcT1
 
 ⭐️“The Word of a Humble God: The Origins, Inspiration, and Interpretation of Scripture” book: https://a.co/d/0hUQvhwF

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