Outrage Factory

What made the internet angry this week?

Dale is spilling kombucha everywhere. Derek has a serious Door Dash problem and Dale just eats at the foodcourt instead. Daily Harvest is trying to kill you. The Fire alarm in Dale’s apartment building goes off and they guys weigh if he should leave his building. Andrea calls in to give Dale shit for not leaving for the fire alarm. We’re not getting a museum anymore and it’s absolute BS. Dale thinks Christy Clark is hot. SUPER GONORRHEA! Where did the slang term “The Clap” come from. FINA has made it a rule transgender women cannot compete in female swimming. Lizzo said “Spazz” in one of her songs and people freaked out so she changed it. The klondike papers are just as bonkers as they are fake. Crypto is still bullshit.     

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What made the internet angry this week?

Dale hasn’t flown in 4 years because Greta Thunberg told him not to. We’re not whiskey and cigar guys. Listen to Whit. Air Canada has been officially put on blast but not only Ryan Whitney but Derek as well. The problem with Twitter. Bieber has facial paralysis. Maybe we should all get guns if bears are coming to the city. It is not Morbin time. Super Hero movie talk. Should we do super hero movie reviews for the patreon? The movie netflix was supposed to put out in august staring Will Smith is still cancelled.    

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What made the internet angry this week?

Yumi Nu was on the cover of Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition and Jordan Peterson isn’t down with the thicc. Elon Musk’s mom is also on the cover. They are doing studies on taking Cerebrospinal fluid from young people and putting them in old people to abate the aging process. Politics are boring. They’re building a 789 million dollar museum and we are all in for it. Dale used to work at a military museum. Dale works with a guy who gets excited about random things. Girls on Tik Tok are saying the abortion ban will ruin hook up culture and conservatives are probably patting themselves on the back. Calling someone bald is sexual harassment. Elon Musk put buying twitter on hold. Crypto currency is still bullshit. Adidas made 43 different sports bras for breasts of all shapes and sizes and posted pictures of a bunch of tits.    

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What made the internet angry this week?

Tik Tok is boobs and Instagram is for butts. Dale has no ass. The conservatives in the states are trying to get rid of abortion rights and it’s only going to hurt themselves in the long run. Conspiracy theories on why the conservatives would want to ban abortion, is there going to be a fertility crisis? Do we just need more soldiers for the future wars against more populated countries? Do we need more workers for the untrained labor crisis? Do they just want to keep everyone poor? It’s probably just more culture war BS. Derek is having another baby! We’re all pro free speech right up until it hurts our feelings. Wordle changed the answer of May 9’s puzzle from FETUS to SHINE. There’s a trailer for Avatar: The Way of Water and Dale is pumped all the way up for it. M. Night Shyamalan is underrated. The nit picky reasons why The Batman is great. Canada dropped some space law on the sneak tip hidden in the budget. Would you go settle Mars? Because we would.  

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What made the internet angry this week?

Dale thought about moving to parksville for about 5 minutes. The guys went to a bachelor party and are old. The guys talk about which games they’ve been playing lately including: Phoenix Point, Fortnite and MLB the Show. Why are people flipping out about Elon Musk buying twitter. The Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard case is heating up and everyone has been talking about the poop. Dale and Derek argue about whether political charged questions should be included in math books. Then they decide to take the implicit association test for Skin Tone and you might be surprised by the results. 

Implicit Association test: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html

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What made the internet angry this week?

Fun aint cheap. This week on angry old guy talk: keep your dog on a leash. Derek has allergies. There were christians on a flight doing a sing along and everyone hated it. Derek likes talking to strangers on the elevator and Dale hates it. The people on The Ultimatum are too young. A worker in Kentucky had a birthday party thrown for him and he sued for 450k because he had a panic attack and then got fired. Tucker Carlson’s new trailer didn’t quite hit how he wanted to. A guy masterbated so hard he ripped his lung. The guys talk about their TMI worst masterbating injury. We don’t party like we used to. Naked boobie sexy lady carved chair. Vanessa Hudgens claims she can talk to ghosts. 

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Dinosaur https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLqbj8n7/

Trucker Carlson’s New Trailer https://www.newsweek.com/tucker-carlson-end-men-doc-mocked-homoerotic-1698482

What made the internet angry this week?

There are two stories in the last week where a woman held her farts in too long and had to go to emergency, one is a barista from Ireland and the other one is a Brazilian model. Are you vulnerable while you’re pooping? Are gender neutral bathrooms just punishment for women? The guys learn about what happens to the prostate in transgender women. A quick Will Smith Jada Pinkett update. Johnny Depp is suing Amber Heard for defamation to the tune of 50 million and it’s going to be broadcast live on Court TV. Maybe scientists should start growing brontosaurus ribs in the lab. Police found 5 fetuses in the freezer of an Antiabortion activist and it just gets weirder from there.          

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What made the internet angry this week?

Derek is back from his US vacation. The internet has been stuffed to the gills with bad takes on Will Smith slapping Chris Rock so why not get Dale’s extra spicey take and add it to the pile. Jada might be suffering from toxic femininity. Is there some dark occult secret behind the untimely passing of Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawking? Probably not but there are a couple weird things to talk about. The guys go deep into googling toxicology methods. The guys talk about the olympic swimming debate. Dale would like to see no one potentially losing a scholarship and Derek is mad people are pretending to care about college swimming.         

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What made the internet angry this week?

Kate joins Dale on this episode because Derek is off catching 20lb black fin tuna. Tom Cruise has been announced to be joining the MCU. Dale doesn’t like sex romp tv set in highschool because it makes him feel like a pervert. A quick rundown on scientologist beliefs. What would you buy with 6 million dollars. The NDP and Liberals have agreed to not disagree in the future when it comes to confidence bills. A woman had a glass tumbler in her bladder and it’s horrifying. The Port Neches-Groves High School drill team, “The Indianettes,” perform their very racist cheer at Disney World and Disney had to apologize. Dale gets hyper fixated on the Cleveland Guardians name change. The incredibly underwhelming birds and the bees talk from our parents.       

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What made the internet angry this week?

Dale’s brain is being melted by an audible book about the secret doctrine. Derek bought an Xbox and it was the best decision he ever made. Remember the good old days when you’d lose at online gaming to 12 years with no life and now it’s 35 year olds and that’s their job. Should we twitch stream? BC decides to get rid of some mandates after every other province already had. Indigo has dildos on display in the self help section and a mother in Langley took umbrage with it. Reboot the Hardy boys as thicc boys. A feminist group wants someone to build the vulva shaped spaceship they designed. In a restaurant in France people are mistaking Poutine as being named after Putin.     

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