Over the Fence

Hello hello hello, we are thrilled to be back after a slightly longer than intended break. We are excited to come back for this very special pod episode in celebration ney… in honour of Vangeya’s impending ascent to the fourth floor!!!!

We have a natter about what has been happening in the past few months, there may well be a couple of clues in may in the title of this episode! We really wanted to catch up with you before the end of the year an this felt like the perfect excuse!! 

I (Vangeya) love my birthday and on this milestone birthday I wanted to celebrate with you all! Sarah shared her thoughts on entering what you will remember is by all accounts ‘a tricky decades’ from one of our earliest episodes: https://open.spotify.com/episode/41N9S72WiyAb3gKCNxV7sq?si=-INf-p0zTl-YtByuKJkXJg

As hoped Sarah offers some wisdom as one that has gone before and you will be pleased to know Vangeya feels ready to wave her 30s goodbye and shares her reflections and thoughts on why.  So grab a cuppa or a glass of fizz as we raise a toast over the fence!!



Excitingly you can now watch us as well as listen on the usual platforms! To see our attempt at video go to our youtube page: https://youtu.be/czVwDQdTbPI

Resources
1. Shelly Tygielski: no is a complete sentence: https://www.mindful.org/no-is-a-complete-sentence/#:~:text=And%2C%20what's%20worse%2C%20when%20we,complete%20sentence%2C%20and%20here's%20why.&text=Saying%20%E2%80%9Cno%E2%80%9D%20is%20all%20about,will%20make%20the%20most%20impact.
2. Stewart’s episode: season 3 bonus https://open.spotify.com/episode/40QMaCyB4zjoPPfDi58LDK?si=fBQ2L6eORLm8f_rAKLte-Q

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

The two parties just keep on coming. This wasn’t even an intentional one. This weeks episode ended up being a part two that we didn’t even know the world needed. Those of you that have been listening for awhile. Remember that we did a bonus episode called the art of conversation, which was an episode about the do's and don’ts of conversation, in its complicated, messy and sometimes down right awkward marvellousness. 

Well, apparently there was much more for us to say!  We stumbled upon it, when having a conversation with each other about the pitfalls that people can fall into in ‘big community’ when assumptions are made.

So for the last time this season join as as we delve into another big issue from our different sides of the fence.

Resources

1. Table Manners podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2SZX2oyIXVvyqEtjQ6C6z5?si=D1ImP8CxSXa_zi3MYo3wYA
2. Best Friend Therapy  s6 ep6: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3crYlhTujhOFshsdrjrdzb?si=U3od1J4GSnulF9xocPHxWw
3. Bruce Tuckman’s theory on team formation: https://www.mindtools.com/abyj5fi/forming-storming-norming-and-performing

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

As promised, we are back with part two of the big issues deep dive with Sarah sharing some of her story from her side of the fence with regard to mental health stereotypes. As with last weeks episode the A+B=C formula was also an expectation for Sarah, get married have kids live happily ever after! 

Sarah shares candidly and with vulnerability as she speaks of the impact mental health stereotypes have had on her family life as her husband continues to battle PTSD and all of that comes with it.  As always we wanted to hold space for the conversation  but also to help with practical tips  for those wishing to be better equipped in their attempts to be of assistance:

1. Drop the expectation that there will be a happy outcome
2. Ask questions that create a space for open conversations and rather than an opportunity to give solutions
3. Allow people to be where they are rather than trying to skip forward
4. Grand gestures are good, but consistency is better
5. Set at your store with regard to what support you can offer
6. Just ask, don’t assume you know how best to help.

Resources:

1. Best Friend Therapy: Ep1 boundaries, what are they? - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mIiYg04LDshddZJ4LmC9V?si=pb9piMCSTSCe_jW4tqfBTg
2. Jay Shetty: killing ego: https://www.jayshetty.me/blog/jay-shetty-on-3-strategies-people-use-to-overcome-their-ego

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Big Issues Deep Dive - part 1

If you have been listening to the pod for awhile, you will know that authenticity is one of our buzz words, and in season four we wanted to wade a little deeper.  

After a season of hearing the stories of fabulous  guests, we wanted this season to be  an opportunity to delve into our stories and an opportunity for us to drop the mask further and share more personally. 

We are loving a two parter this season!  In this episode Vangeya kick us off, giving us a peep over the fence sharing about her current ‘ big issue’ and what she is learning along the way.

Resources

1. Adam Grant: @adamgrant
2. Article by Vangeya- Real vs imagined life: https://medium.com/@vangeyamhone/getting-to-know-you-series-9cd3f2e853b2
3. A Single Serving Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/0vVwbdT9RAppTSHeamR6S5?si=-d7FUcgSTM245kSTdIYBiQ
4. Shani Silver’s book: A Single Revolution 
5. The Art of Conversation: s1 bonus episode- Over the Fence: https://open.spotify.com/episode/49HRkGnyATVXsNCpXSCEqN?si=6pu-bVKoQfiOhoeR1diAGA
6. Simon Sinek: what we need in crisis: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/VAXBrlIo5Mg

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

The conversation from last week was so good we came back with a part two and in today’s episode we look at how to ‘friend through’ the hibernation seasons.

This conversation is peppered with wisdom from those far wiser than ourselves and as always we list everything below. For this discussion in particular we would encourage you to have a look and listen through because it bud tough to navigate either side of this particular fence. Whether you are the friend struggling or the friend struggling to be let in to try and help.

Wherever you are with your friendship we hope this two parter has been useful in helping you process and as always it us our greatest hope j that you have felt seen and a little less alone on your journey. 

Resources 

1. New York Times article: How many friends do you really need? Catherine Pearson: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/07/well/live/adult-friendships-number.html
2. Earlier Over the Fence episode referred to: ‘ A tricky decade’: https://open.spotify.com/episode/41N9S72WiyAb3gKCNxV7sq?si=2w-oVJLgSJ2CW7_21jd0vQ
3. On introversion: a)how introverts can be socially conditioned to appear as extroverts- Best Friend Therapy s1 ep1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mIiYg04LDshddZJ4LmC9V?si=yaYoPlTaTUKJkJcSkcQVaA b) Simon Sinek explains the difference between extroverts and introverts: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kXLVcGPlep4
4. David Richo: How to be an adult in relationships ( the 5 As of friendship)
5. Adam Grant: @adamgrant - alignment not necessarily agreement 
6. Simon Sinek: what we need in crisis: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/VAXBrlIo5Mg

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

There is no denying that the quest for connection and belonging is strong and ongoing. When we were young, it seemed that friendships simply happened around us, but in this tricky decade, friendships often seem more to allude than abound.

This episode seeks to explore questions we have grappled with: 

• Why are friendships at this age so difficult? 
• Is it that what we need in friendships is different or that what we can sustain is different?  

We also explore what changes may have contributed to complexity of something that once seemed so simple.

Don’t worry there is still the tom foolery and high jinks we know you expect from us! We kick off with some light relief as we attempt a friendship quiz, live!!!! If you thought quick fire was hilarious you are in for a treat!

Resources 

1. Friendship quiz - in true style we can't find the quiz we did .. but we are still looking!
2. Are you getting enough hugs- Forbes.com: https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinecomaford/2020/08/22/are-you-getting-enough-hugs/?sh=2664646968da
3. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-we-are-wired-to-connect/ scientific American: why we are wired to connect

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Happy 2024!!

This episode and indeed the new season kicks off with a massive dose of nostalgia about life in the 1900s, and the fear surrounding the Y2K bug! As ever your hosts have a right laugh, but we also get serious speaking candidly about New Year’s resolutions and whether or not that useful! Sarah and Vangeya share  their thoughts and where they have landed with them. In particular in relation to how they interact with that prized concept of radical self acceptance. Are Resolutions a weapon that is self-destructive or a tool was to achieve and better yourself?  Ultimately are ‘reflections and hopes’ for the coming year more useful? 

Speaking of reflections, the second half of the episode is a bit of a recap of season three as the hosts of share their best bits and what they took away from each of their wonderful guests before introducing the concept and hope for season 4. Entitled “the big issues” the season builds on the foundation of openness and authenticity all the guests brought in season three  and explores some of the sometimes thorny issues that life brings as we let go of the expectations and navigate the reality we face.

Resource 

1. Brene Brown on midlife: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/w20VDWG7UgE
2. Tracey Duncan: Leaving it all on the track- S3 EP06 over the fence: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0A0woVsor0B0DRKanUnytd?si=R8Lz_IupR0K7K_PO1p2d1Q

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

As promised here, we are with a bonus episode to complement season three! In this episode we hear from Stew Bewley an actor turned coach. As with all the guests from season 3 Stew drops copious knowledge bombs in the first few minutes and continues apace- leaving Sarah and Vangeya uncharacteristically lost for words as they digest all the gems and pearls of hard won wisdom.

Gems such as the power of reflection, the significance of regular solitude, owning your successes and failures and most importantly
Knowing what you uniquely bring.

We thoroughly enjoyed our chat with Stew and know you will too.

Resources
1. Celia Imrie: The Happy Hoofer
2. Raymond Kethledge and Michael Erwin: Lead yourself first
3. St Ignatius: The Daily Examen
4. Myers Briggs: https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/myers-briggs-overview/

Linked in: Stew Bewley - Amplify Presentations Ltd | LinkedIn
Website: Amplify | Unlock Your Company Story with our Presentation Coaching

The Storytelling Hero: Speaking for Powerful Communication https://amzn.eu/d/cCHObFU

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

*Please note this episode mentions Sarah's journey with baby loss .  

We all remember those English lessons in primary school where we were told stories have a beginning middle and end! Very early in we were conditioned to believe that is how stories go! No wonder we are often shell shocked when we were hit by real life in or it’s messy and non linear glory!

This season we have enjoyed listening to genuine life stories and the common thread is that life is full of curveballs, and there isn’t really a linear or even clear path to follow. There are however joyous discoveries and innumerable gems to learn along the way.  

As we come to the season finale Sarah and Vangeya share a little bit more about their stories, particularly the plot twists that have left them reeling but were also catalysts for change and growth. So grab a cuppa and settle in for this season’s final look over the fence. 

Resources

1. Rebidahosa: quote regarding evolution of people beyond others’ depiction: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwMihuesSNU/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

In this the penultimate episode of the season we have yet another corker of a guest. We have been blown away by the wisdom, candour and experiences shared by all our guests and Tracey Duncan is no exception. 

Over a cuppa with us Tracey shared her story and quite frankly this episode is the definition of navigating expectation and reality!  

After a dramatic change of direction Tracey’s story is an inspiring tale of grit and drive to succeed despite the mother of all the curveballs.  We are treated to a glimpse of what it looks like to put aside the expected life and create a wonderful alternative from what is and not what we wish was.

We thoroughly enjoyed our evening with Tracey and know you will too, so for the final time this season, grab a cuppa, a friend, a notebook or all three!

Resources 

1. Simon Sinek: the Infinite game
2. Bernadette Russell: how to be hopeful

Find Tracey on Linked In to connect: bit.ly/traceyduncan

Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah Parkinson
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
Editing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson