Have you ever felt like you were constantly swimming upstream, trying to fit into a world that wasn’t built for the way your brain works? For many women, this feeling persists for decades until a sudden realization or a late-life diagnosis changes everything. In a recent episode of the Overgivers Anonymous podcast, host Angela Mondor (also known as the "Geeky Girl") sat down with Misty Anderson, an energy and alignment coach and host of The Queen Rising podcast, to discuss the transformative journey of discovering ADHD in adulthood.
Misty’s story is one that resonates with countless women who have spent their lives "masking" their neurodivergence, overcompensating for perceived flaws, and finally learning how to work with their unique wiring instead of against it. This conversation dives deep into the nuances of late-stage ADHD diagnosis, the importance of self-compassion, and practical strategies for managing energy as a neurodivergent entrepreneur.
The Lightbulb Moment: Discovering ADHD in Your 30s
For Misty, the journey toward diagnosis didn't happen in a doctor's office; it started on social media. Like many women in their thirties and forties, she found herself down a "TikTok rabbit hole" where creators were sharing specific symptoms of ADHD in women. These weren't the stereotypical "hyperactive little boy" symptoms often associated with the condition, but rather things like internal restlessness, daydreaming, and chronic overwhelm.
Misty realized that she had naturally gravitated toward a community of other neurodivergent women, coaches, and entrepreneurs. When she shared her suspicions with them, the response was a resounding, "Of course you do!" This community support provided the validation she needed to stop hiding and start investigating her own history. As Angela noted during the episode, many women miss early diagnosis because they become experts at masking—developing elaborate systems to appear "normal" while struggling internally.
Understanding the Mask: Survival Mechanisms and Time Blindness
One of the most relatable parts of the discussion centered on the "workarounds" neurodivergent people create to survive in a neurotypical world. Misty shared a vivid example of her own struggle with time blindness. In high school, she was so aware of her tendency to be late that she set the clock in her car ten minutes ahead to "trick" her brain into being on time. Despite this, her boss would still point to his watch as she walked in.
Angela shared a similar experience of "daydreaming" in class. While teachers saw it as a lack of focus, it was actually a need for multiple stimuli. For many with ADHD, focusing on a single source of information (like a teacher’s face) is actually harder than having a secondary stimulus, such as looking out a window or listening to background audio, to keep the brain engaged.
The Grief of Late Diagnosis
Both Angela and Misty touched on the emotional weight of finding out you have ADHD later in life. It often triggers a process similar to the stages of grief. You have to mourn the person you thought you were and the life you might have had if you’d known sooner. However, this transition also offers a massive opportunity for self-compassion.
Moving from Shame to Compassion: "Know Better, Do Better"
A recurring theme in the conversation was the shift from self-blame to understanding. When you don't know your brain is wired differently, you tend to internalize your struggles as character flaws. You might tell yourself you are "lazy," "forgetful," or "unprofessional."
Misty emphasizes the mantra: "When you know better, you can do better." Once you understand that your brain requires different inputs to function optimally, you can stop shaming yourself for not being "perfect" by societal standards. This compassion is the foundation for building a life and a business that feels sustainable.
Practical Strategies for ADHD Energy Alignment
