BB Gun Danny, Pew Pew Peanut, Ricochet Rhino, and Ol’ Crossbow Wills present a 'The Burbs' themed Emo Night, hosted by Bill Cosby. I chimed in with “haven’t you people ever heard of…there go the goddamn brownies.” For tickets and event information, call 1-800-BARTEND.

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth

You a SOTY fan? Then you Ben Affleck. Dan’s favorite childhood activity was prison sex, but now he’s old, and he has to get his Tool tattoo removed. Let me tell you a story about an old, prehistoric, sepia tone-lookin-ass dude with no air conditioning. A long-ass fucking time ago, in a town called Kickapoo, there lived a humble family, religious through and through. But yea, there was a black sheep and he knew just what to do. His name was young J.B., and he refused to step in line. A vision he did see-eth, fucking rocking all the time. He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align...

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth

Eleven brand new SMASH HITS from Story of the Year, featuring D’Marcus Williums, T.J. Juckson, T’Variuness King, Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace, D’Squarius Green, Jr., Ibrahim Moizoos, Jackmerius Tacktheritrix, D’Isiah T. Billings-Clyde, D’Jasper Probincrux III, Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz, Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar, Davoin Shower-Handel, Hingle McCringleberry, L’Carpetron Dookmarriot, J’Dinkalage Morgoone, Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon, Saggitariutt Jefferspin, D’Glester Hardunkichud, Swirvithan L’Goodling-Splatt, Quatro Quatro, Ozamataz Buckshank, Beezer Twelve Washingbeard, Shakiraquan T.G.I.F. Carter, X-Wing @Aliciousness, Sequester Grundelplith M.D., Scoish Velociraptor Maloish, T.J. A.J. R.J. Backslashinfourth V, EEEEE EEEEEEEEE, Donkey Teeth, Torque [Construction Drilling Noise] Lewith, [The Player Formerly Known As Mousecop], and Dan Smith.

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth

Josh can only tolerate his kids when he’s on drugs. Dan Marsala: C-3PO enthusiast. Emo-Themed Glamping. They’re only sucking half of it. Don’t listen, just watch the beard move. KEEP. CLUTCH’S NAME. OUT YOUR FUCKING. MOUTH.

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth

Premiering next month on HBO Mid: Agaped on Tinder. Sherbet ice cream, and ham in their salads. Where do toboggans come from? If you have a baby, you’re a slut. Foot on the monitor: cool stance or cry for help? Vanilla Ice is Ryan’s celebrity crush. The smell of music can habit-forming. Do not smell music if you have a heart condition, are pregnant, or are breastfeeding.

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth

How much do you have to pay to be Batman? It used to be called the butt hawk. Subwoofers on a horse. Sorry, John Goodman. We need both rooms.

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth

Ranking SOTY albums, worst to best. What flavor comes from the main udder? Jesus is cooler when he’s a wizard. Long ass intro, just enough notes. Same sound. 25% speed. Shout out Faux Head. This that Pope shit.

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth, The OFR, Disturbing the Peace, Adair

The episode title is accurate.

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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth