Arifa Akbar’s sister Fauzia died in 2016 from tuberculosis. Fauzia experienced night sweats, her lungs hurt, and her face began to swell; despite these signs the doctors at The Royal Free Hospital in London were baffled and she died of a brain haemorrhage. In Arifa’s stunning memoir ‘Consumed’ she investigates how a leading hospital could have missed this ancient but curable disease. Here, Arifa discusses her and Fauzia’s complicated love for one another, from best friends in their teens to years of estrangement. The sisters were pitted against each other and, whilst Arifa was her Father’s favourite, Fauzia had a totally different childhood under the same roof, experiencing emotional cruelty from their Dad. Arifa is brutally honest about the impact that this childhood trauma and Fauzia’s paralysing depression and eating disorder had on them, pulling them apart for years. PAGE 112 looks at how the mistrust had set in but how, ultimately, the sisters were reconciled and all the guilt, rage and pain fell away as Arifa dashed to A&E to be by her sister’s side. This is a deep discussion about the roles parents ascribe to their kids, how families create their own mythologies and how sibling misunderstandings can become so muddy it’s hard to see who started the argument and what it’s even about.

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Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @AbbyHollick

Arifa on Twitter - @Arifa_Akbar

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Consumed - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/consumed-in-search-of-my-sister-shortlisted-for-the-costa-biography-award-2021/9781529347555

NHS supportive links for Tuberculosis, Eating disorders and Depression:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/tuberculosis-tb/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/depression/

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Page is hosted and produced by Abby Hollick for Good Tape. To contact us, email [email protected]

Sound Engineers: Hunter Charlton and Chris Sharp

Original Music: Paddy Gervers and Rob Sell for Torch and Compass

Graphic Designer: Tim Hughes

Web Support: Daniel Benoliel

TW// Discussion of suicidal thoughts, self-harm and postnatal psychosis.// CBT Day! Writer and illustrator Laura Dockrill credits Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for changing her life and helping her recover from postpartum psychosis. Laura's stunning memoir 'What Have I Done?' charts her terrifying experience of delusions, insomnia and depression after the birth of her son. She explains how CBT has taken away a lot of the guilt and shame that comes with being an unwell parent. Through studying CBT, Laura learnt to label thoughts - for example naming them 'intrusive', 'compulsive' or 'irrational' - and this helped her to keep the fear at bay. CBT might not work for everyone but it is utterly inspiring to hear how Laura went from being someone who felt broken to someone who can exist happily alongside her fears. Pagedive into PAGE 319 if you need some rational thinking in your life and more self-compassion. I love Laura for writing this book and for being so open about how CBT, medication, therapy and time saved her.

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Social Media:

Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @AbbyHollick

Laura on Twitter - @LauraDockrill

Laura on Instagram - @lauraleedockrill

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Laura's memoir - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/what-have-i-done-motherhood-mental-illness-me/9781529112542

Zombie Mum - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/zombiemum/id1558579877

NHS supportive links for suicide and self-harm:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/self-harm/

Postpartum Psychosis - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-partum-psychosis/

Action for Postpartum Psychosis - https://www.app-network.org

CBT therapy - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/overview/

Blindboy podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/an-intro-to-cognitive-psychology-pt-1/id1300577518?i=1000419570336

Nanette (Hannah Gadsby) - https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/80233611

Ten Steps to Positive Living - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/ten-steps-to-positive-living/9781529373455

How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable: About Anything - Yes, Anything! - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/how-to-stubbornly-refuse-to-make-yourself-miserable-about-anything-yes-anything/9781472142788

Self-Help For Your Nerves - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/self-help-for-your-nerves-learn-to-relax-and-enjoy-life-again-by-overcoming-stress-and-fear/9780722531556

Nigel Slater podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/a-cook-s-chronicles-a-podcast/id1444767211

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Page is hosted and produced by Abby Hollick for Good Tape. To contact us, email [email protected]

Sound Engineers: Hunter Charlton and Chris Sharp

Original Music: Paddy Gervers and Rob Sell for Torch and Compass

Graphic Designer: Tim Hughes

Web Support: Daniel Benoliel

Do you get anxious about the future? Are you obsessed with your to-do list? Is organising, scheduling, living for next week your thing? Then this is the episode for you. Oliver Burkeman's new book saved me from myself! I had so much fun chatting to him all about the 'future-focused' attitude and the 'when-I-finally' mind. We dissect PAGE 126 of his New York Times bestselling book, 'Four Thousand Weeks: Time and How To Use It'. 4000 weeks is roughly 80 years, which is hopefully how long we've got on the planet. The central question of the book is how do we make these weeks count? We discuss anxiety, tolerating a level of uncertainty and accepting that most things do not go to plan and never go perfectly. Oliver's book taught me to relax, trust myself and give up trying to get all my ducks in a row - things will go wrong, the to-do list will always be never-ending and that's ok. I love this book and appreciate Oliver's tips for staying in the here and now.

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Four Thousand Weeks - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/four-thousand-weeks-the-smash-hit-sunday-times-bestseller-that-will-change-your-life/9781847924018

Cal Newport's book - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/deep-work-rules-for-focused-success-in-a-distracted-world/9780349411903

Bruce Tift psychotherapist – http://www.brucetift.com

Laura Vanderkam - https://lauravanderkam.com

CS Lewis’ sermon - https://www.cslewis.com/learning-in-war-time/

Insight timer – https://insighttimer.com

Ten Percent Happier - https://www.tenpercent.com

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Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @AbbyHollick

Oliver on Twitter - @oliverburkeman

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Page is hosted and produced by Abby Hollick for Good Tape. To contact us, email [email protected]

Sound Engineers: Hunter Charlton and Chris Sharp

Original Music: Paddy Gervers and Rob Sell for Torch and Compass

Graphic Designer: Tim Hughes

Web Support: Daniel Benoliel

Nova Reid is a FORCE, a changemaker and an anti-racism campaigner. She is the author of The Good Ally, which highlights how systemic racism in Britain is a public health crisis, corroding every layer of society from education to the healthcare system, justice system, government, and police. In this episode, Nova discusses how there is a lack of empathy when it comes to engaging with racism and how white liberals can cause the most harm, too often defending their position rather than actively listening and apologising. We dig into PAGE 28-29 which underlines why racists are not just people who commit an overt act of racism, but they can be your relative, your friend, your doctor and microaggressions are just as pernicious and traumatizing. Nova reveals how brain scans have shown that people who receive regular racial stress have the same brain pattern as seen in soldiers who have served in war and are experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder. Nova's book is a call to arms, she invites white people to turn inward and unpick how growing up in a racist society has affected us, how inherent racism shows up and how it impacts relationships and interactions. Nova discusses why nothing will change unless white people accept that white privilege exists and most importantly move past shame and defensiveness and learn to take feedback and repair a situation if they have been racist. Understanding our unconscious or conscious inherent racism programming is confronting and necessary work and Nova leads it in the most compassionate and empathetic way.

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The Good Ally by Nova Reid: https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-good-ally/9780008439484

Conversations with Nova Reid: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/conversations-with-nova-reid/id1506584414

Nova’s anti-racism course: https://novareid.com/services/anti-racism-course/

The documentary 13th by Ava Duverney: http://www.avaduvernay.com/13th/

David Harewood and Nova Reid in conversation at the National Theatre: https://novareid.com/news-events/nova_reid_david_harewood/

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Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @AbbyHollick

Nova on Twitter - @novareidoffic

Nova on Instagram - @novareidofficial

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Page is hosted and produced by Abby Hollick for Good Tape. To contact us, email [email protected]

Sound Engineers: Hunter Charlton and Chris Sharp

Original Music: Paddy Gervers and Rob Sell for Torch and Compass

Graphic Designer: Tim Hughes

Web Support: Daniel Benoliel

TW// Discussion of depression and isolation.//

I can honestly say that Rhik Samadder’s best-selling memoir, ‘I Never Said I loved You’, is one of my favourite books. It manages to look at the human condition and make you cry and belly laugh in the same chapter. Rhik is a Guardian journalist who attracts a cult following with his column ‘Rhik Samadder Tries Something new’ and who can forget his ‘Inspect A Gadget’ column, with its notorious review of The Egg Master?

Rhik breaks down PAGE 194 of his exceptional memoir, which explores masculinity, mental illness, surviving child abuse and sees Rhik set off on the ultimate quest to discover where his depression came from. In this episode, Rhik examines loneliness, and why it’s true vulnerability to tell someone you feel lonely. We discuss heartbreak, grief and pandemic isolation and how in real life loneliness is a lot less romantic than it looks in the movies. I’m floored by Rhik’s willingness to look at his own experiences of true loneliness, to find the buried treasures in it, and to share what helped him come through this bleak time. I love listening to him because he offers us hope and shows us that uncomfortable feelings won't last forever. Seriously, read his book!

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Social Media

Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @AbbyHollick

Rhik on Twitter and Instagram – @whatsamadder

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Links

Rhik’s book, I Never Said I Loved You - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/i-never-said-i-loved-you-the-sunday-times-bestseller/9781472250704

NHS Advice on loneliness - https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/lifes-challenges/loneliness/

NHS Advice on depression - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/cope-with-depression/

Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org

I absolutely loved chatting to Clover for this episode. Clover Stroud is an author who does not shy away from pinning down exactly how she feels. Clover's latest book, 'The Red of My Blood', is about the sudden and shocking death of her sister Nell. Nell was an artist and the founder of the extraordinary Gifford's Circus. In this conversation Clover unpicks the trauma and unbearable grief that hit in 2020 and her fierce determination to normalize death for her kids, highlight how much care and kindness needs to be offered to anyone grieving and to honour her sister by speaking openly about death. Clover's courage is huge and her willingness to share how she survived her grief will no doubt help so many people, she never fails to find the beauty and colour even in the hardest of times. This book is a must-read and PAGE 113 shows the deep love Clover feels for her sister.

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Clover on Twitter – @cloverstroud

Clover on Instagram - @clover.stroud

Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @AbbyHollick

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Links

Clover's book, The Red of my Blood - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-red-of-my-blood-a-death-and-life-story/9780857527738

CS Lewis - A Grief Observed - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/a-grief-observed-readers-edition/9780571310876

Joan Didion - The Year of Magical Thinking https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-year-of-magical-thinking/9780008485122

NHS advice on grief and loss- https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/grief-bereavement-loss/

TW // References to suicide, eating disorders and self-harm.//

Caitlin Moran is a hilarious author, scriptwriter and Times columnist famous for skewering the patriarchy. She wrote the seminal feminist manifesto 'How To Be A Woman' and her latest memoir, 'More Than A Woman', is a celebration of middle-age, taking on the joys of 'maintenance sex' in long-term relationships, the overwhelming to-do lists, and looking after everyone but yourself.

For this episode I picked PAGE 204 of 'More Than A Woman', which details how Caitlin learned to help her teenage daughter when she was anxious, depressed and suffering with an eating disorder. Caitlin openly admits that when you have a child self-harming and suffering with an eating disorder every parenting tactic you've ever used is useless. She reflects on how growing up she was given a stigmatised view of mental health compared to the way her teenagers discuss mental health without shame and embarrassment. Here, Caitlin shares what she now knows about how to respond and listen to someone with a mental illness, the books that helped her family (see the Eva Musby links below), the script she followed word for word and how surviving the unimaginable has changed her. Parents can feel so helpless and alone in these situations, there is no manual for how to parent a mentally ill child, so Caitlin's honesty in discussing something so personal is much appreciated and extremely helpful.

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Links:

BEAT - https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

Eva Musby - https://anorexiafamily.com/?v=79cba1185463

Anorexia and Other Eating Disorders by Eva Musby - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anorexia-other-Eating-Disorders-compassionate/dp/0993059805/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3LZ8NS8GAGYE&keywords=eva+musby&qid=1645090842&sprefix=eve+musby%2Caps%2C301&sr=8-1

NHS Eating Disorder support - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/

NHS Self-harm support - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/self-harm/

Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org

NHS Suicidal thoughts information and support - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

Mental Health and Self-Harm Information and Support: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/1NGvFrTqWChr03LrYlw2Hkk/information-and-support-mental-health-self-harm

Eating Disorder links on the BBC Action Line website: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/2DRkg4JC7SLT3B7hlrn6DKN/information-and-support-eating-disorders

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Social Media:

Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @abbyhollick

Caitlin on Twitter - @caitlinmoran

Caitlin on Instagram - @mscaitlinmoran

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Page is hosted and produced by Abby Hollick for Good Tape. To contact us, email [email protected]

Sound Engineers: Hunter Charlton and Chris Sharp

Original Music: Paddy Gervers and Rob Sell for Torch and Compass

Graphic Designer: Tim Hughes

Web Support: Daniel Benoliel

Today’s guest is the legendary Sir Lenny Henry! His new memoir, 'Who Am I, Again?', goes right back to his childhood in Dudley and charts his rise to fame on the talent show 'New Faces', the sitcom 'The Fosters' and the cult Saturday morning show 'Tiswas'. I picked PAGE 199 where Lenny dives into his childhood memories growing up in a loud, busy household alongside seven siblings and his parents Winifred and Winston, who moved from Jamaica to England in the 1950s. He is extremely honest about how confusing it was to go from being a kid regularly hit by his Mum to becoming a famous comedian on the telly and the family’s main breadwinner.

In this episode, Lenny reflects on how grief counselling, and hearing his Mum say “I love you” for the first time, has helped him to accept and understand the violence that went on at home. He’s open about the many masks he’s had to wear throughout his life and career, and how his survival technique has always been to blend in.

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Links:

Access All Areas by Lenny Henry and Marcus Ryder - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/access-all-areas-the-diversity-manifesto-for-tv-and-beyond/9780571365128

Black British Lives Matter by Lenny Henry & Marcus Ryder - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/black-british-lives-matter-a-clarion-call-for-equality/9780571368495

The Boy With Wings by Lenny Henry - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-boy-with-wings-9781529067835/9781529067835

Who Am I, Again? By Lenny Henry - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/who-am-i-again/9780571342617

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Social Media:

Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @AbbyHollick

Lenny on Twitter - @LennyHenry

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Page is hosted and produced by Abby Hollick for Good Tape. To contact us, email [email protected]

Sound Engineers: Hunter Charlton and Chris Sharp

Original Music: Paddy Gervers and Rob Sell for Torch and Compass

Graphic Designer: Tim Hughes

Web Support: Daniel Benoliel

TW // References to rape and Jimmy Savile. //

Today’s guest is the awesome, straight-talking Hollie McNish. Hollie is a spoken-word poet, who won the Ted Hughes Award. We dive into PAGE 336 of her latest book, 'Slug'. 'Slug' fuses prose and poetry and tackles a huge range of subjects, from swimming naked in Finland to period pants to the pain of attending her Granny’s funeral on her laptop during lockdown. I picked PAGE 336 because, like Hollie, I believe sex education in Britain needs a drastic overhaul. Here, Hollie unpicks her memories of how girls were shamed at school if they admitted to masturbating. She looks at why many girls and women still feel shame about touching their own bodies, whilst historically boys have been able to joke about, and even celebrate, masturbation. Hollie advocates for school-age children to be shown accurate diagrams of their genitals and that girls should be encouraged to explore their own bodies before pleasing anyone else.

Hollie talks about why it’s so important to be honest about sex, pleasure and consent when talking to your children, and the dark and dangerous places shame can lead us. Especially the message to girls that they should expect pain during intercourse.

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Links:

Slug And Other Things I’ve Been Told To Hate by Hollie McNish - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/slug-the-sunday-times-bestseller/9780349726359

The Eve Appeal - https://eveappeal.org.uk

School of Sexuality Education - https://schoolofsexed.org

Sex Positive Families on Instagram @sexpositive_families

Sex Doctor on Instagram @thesexdoctor

Alice Hoyle relationship and sex education expert - https://www.alicehoyle.co.uk

Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/sex-ed-an-inclusive-teenage-guide-to-sex-and-relationships/9781406399080

Great Relationships and Sex Education by Alice Hoyle and Esther McGeeney - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/great-relationships-and-sex-education-200-activities-for-educators-working-with-young-people/9780815393634

Period Power by Maisie Hill - https://uk.bookshop.org/books/period-power-harness-your-hormones-and-get-your-cycle-working-for-you/9781472963611

What is a Period? by Nikki Tajiri - https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Period-Nikki-Tajiri/dp/B08XZGJC23/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1UJ7HF2O953HZ&keywords=What+is+a+Period%3F&qid=1645019717&sprefix=what+is+a+period+%2Caps%2C129&sr=8-1

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Social Media:

Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @AbbyHollick

Hollie on Twitter and Instagram - @holliepoetry

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Page is hosted and produced by Abby Hollick for Good Tape. To contact us, email [email protected]

Sound Engineers: Hunter Charlton and Chris Sharp

Original Music: Paddy Gervers and Rob Sell for Torch and Compass

Graphic Designer: Tim Hughes

Web Support: Daniel Benoliel

I’m over the moon Michael Rosen is my first guest on PAGE! Michael is one of Britain’s best-loved poets, a writer and former Children’s Laureate.

In this episode Michael discusses PAGE 163 of his latest book, 'Many Different Kinds of Love: A Story of Life, Death and the NHS'. In March 2020, Michael was struggling to breathe, and he was admitted to hospital with coronavirus. Here, he reflects on the month he spent in an induced coma, and the utterly extraordinary story of how his wife Emma and his consultant Hugh Montgomery, at the Whittington hospital, reached into his frozen mind and woke him up. He acknowledges the love and care he received from the nurses and compares it to the fierce devotion a parent gives to a sick child. Michael reveals how messages from his children enabled him to become conscious and how he is learning to make sense of his recovery when so many around him died. His optimism shines through as he talks acceptance, doing one joyful thing a day and why it’s important to own your challenges. I picked PAGE 163 as Michael’s love for Emma is so moving. This is one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read about love, life and the NHS: it celebrates the indomitable spirits of the medical staff who kept Michael alive and the love and care his family showed him.

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Links:

Michael's book, Many Different Kinds of Love -

https://uk.bookshop.org/books/many-different-kinds-of-love-a-story-of-life-death-and-the-nhs/9781529109450

2020: The Story Of Us on ITV Hub - https://www.itv.com/hub/2020-the-story-of-us/10a1053a0001

'Chocolate Cake' - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BxQLITdOOc

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Social Media:

Abby on Twitter and Instagram - @AbbyHollick

Michael on Twitter - @MichaelRosenYes

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Page is hosted and produced by Abby Hollick for Good Tape.

To contact us, email [email protected]

Sound Engineers: Hunter Charlton and Chris Sharp

Original Music: Paddy Gervers and Rob Sell for Torch and Compass

Graphic Designer: Tim Hughes

Web Support: Daniel Benoliel