On this episode of Freaky Phone Stories, the wayward traveler is going to be telling you all about Paintball Guns & Kung Fu Nuns.

The decade of choice for this episode is the 90s, and I was in my twenties. The world was freaking out over the upcoming Y2K bug that never happened, and SpongeBob took front and center stage, leaving all adults ears to bleed.

I was living in a hot and wicked land, known as Arizona. Hellfire, brimstone, scorched earth, that sort of thing. If there is a Hell on Earth, I'd say it's right about where Phoenix is.