Parashat Vayigash features one of the most dramatic stories in the entire Torah – Yosef’s revelation to his brothers. Many years earlier, when Yosef was just seventeen-years-old, his brothers threw him into a pit, with the intention of killing him. They then decided to lift him from the pit and sell him as a slave to merchants, who brought him to Egypt. Miraculously, Yosef ended up becoming the vizier of Egypt, who was responsible for distributing grain during the years of famine. His brothers came from Eretz Yisrael to Egypt in order to purchase grain, and they stood before Yosef. They did not recognize him, but he recognized them – and he proceeded to accuse them of coming to Egypt as spies. He forced them to return home and then come back with their youngest brother, Binyamin, and thus prove their innocence. When they came back to Egypt with Binyamin, Yosef ordered his butler to plant his silver goblet in Binyamin’s bag. Then, as the brothers began making their way back home, Yosef sent his butler to chase after them. The goblet was found in Binyamin’s bag, and Yosef commanded that Binyamin must remain in Egypt as his slave. Yehuda, who had promised Yaakob to bring Binyamin home safely, pleaded with Yosef to allow him to remain in Binyamin’s place. After hearing Yehuda’s impassioned plea, Yosef told his brothers who he was. The commentators address the question of why Yosef revealed himself to his brothers only now, after hearing Yehuda’s petition. Why did he not tell the brothers who he was right when they first came down to Egypt? And why did he force them to bring Binyamin, and then try to keep Binyamin with him? For that matter, already when Yosef rose to the position of vizier, why did he not contact his family to tell them that he was alive and well? One commentary, called the Leb Melech, answers these questions by clarifying why the brothers decided to eliminate Yosef in the first place. He explains that the brothers wrongly suspected Yosef of thinking of himself as the only heir to Hashem’s covenant with Abraham, Yishak and Yaakob. Just as only one of Abraham’s sons – Yishak – inherited the blessings to Abraham, and then only one of the Yishak’s sons – Yaakob – inherited them, the brothers thought that Yosef planned to be the sole inheritor of G-d’s covenant. Knowing that this was wrong, that they were all included in the covenant, and would all take part in the formation of Am Yisrael, the brothers saw Yosef as a real danger to the family and to the future of the special nation that was now being established. The brothers concluded that Yosef needed to be expelled because he threatened the development of the Jewish Nation. Yosef knew this, and this is why he never contacted his family – or even revealed his identity to his brothers when they arrived. He had good reason to fear that if the brothers knew that he had risen to a position of power, and was no longer a lowly slave, they would do everything they could to kill him. And if just two of the brothers – Shimon and Levi – were able to destroy the entire city of Shechem, then all ten of them could find a way to assassinate him in Egypt. Yosef therefore devised a plan to help the brothers recognize their mistake. First, he had them imprisoned for three days – so they would feel the pain of captivity, which they had caused him to experience. Then, three days later, he took them out of prison, explaining, “I am G-d-fearing” (Bereshit 42:18). He told them that he had changed his mind, and instead of keeping them all in jail and sending one of them home to bring Binyamin, he would keep only one of them in jail and send the rest of them back. Yosef wanted to model for his brothers the humility to reconsider and rethink one’s assumptions. He hoped that this would inspire them to reflect, to reevaluate their decision to expel him from the family. Sure enough, the brothers immediately expressed their regret, realizing that they made a mistake by selling Yosef (42:21). Then, Yosef arranged that the brothers would have to put themselves on the line for Binyamin. When he wanted to keep Binyamin with him forever as a slave, the brothers realized what it meant to permanently lose a brother, and thus truly regretted what they had done to Yosef. At that point, Yosef revealed himself. After hearing Yehuda’s plea, Yosef felt confident that the brothers changed their mind about him, and that it was safe to tell them that he was Yosef. I once heard an addition to this insight, which highlights one particular part of Yosef’s plan. When the brothers came to Egypt, Yosef accused them of being spies. His intention was for them to feel what they had done to him – falsely accusing him of rejecting them, of planning to drive them out of the family. They now felt what it was like to be wrongly accused, to be unfairly maligned, to have people make assumptions about them that weren’t true. Many times, in our interactions with people, we fail to recognize the hard feelings that our words could cause. We talk on impulse, and with our emotions, without thinking carefully about how what we say is impacting the individual we’re speaking with. In all our interactions, we need to try to place ourselves in the other person’s position, to try to imagine how we would feel if people spoke to us the way we are speaking. This sensitivity will help us be humbler, more considerate and more refined people, and will help us build healthy, happy and meaningful relationships with the people around us.