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If you are near to understanding, hoping to get there one day and trying already for these kinds of connections and you are done with the shrinking and crushiing effects of conflict and constant power struggles. Then you are probably ready to get them to listen and show up the way you have been dreaming of.  
I know a thing or two about connection and teaching connection skills. 
I explain in this Episode about ways we self- sabotage and ways we can ensure our success. And it has less to do with them than we think.