Parenting Different

There are a lot of conversations about open adoption, but few include the voices of the people actually living it. This episode offers a unique glimpse into what a relationship between an adopted adult and their birth mother can look like when their childhood is shaped by trust, intentionality, and adults who consistently put the child at the center.

In this episode, I sit down with birth mother Leah Outten and the daughter she placed for adoption 22 years ago, Kaylee, to talk about what happens when an open adoption is built on trust, humility, and a shared commitment to putting the child first. We talk about jealousy, grief, identity, the hard transitions after visits, and why big emotions don't mean something is wrong. Most importantly, you'll hear what healthy open adoption can look like through both a birth mother's and an adoptee's perspective.

If you're an adoptive parent wondering how to love your child well while honoring the people who came before you, this is a conversation you don't want to miss.

School isn't just a place where children learn math and reading. For many adoptees, it's also where they begin asking deeper questions: Am I safe? Do I belong? Will people understand me?

In this episode, Anna sits down with adoptee, school counselor, and author, Lauren Haas, for an honest conversation about what it's really like to navigate school as an adopted child. Together, they explore why behavior is often communication, how adoption can show up in both the "easy" student and the child who struggles, and why curiosity is one of the greatest gifts a teacher can offer.

Whether you're an adoptive parent preparing for a new school year, an educator who wants to better support adopted students, or simply someone who loves a child impacted by adoption, this conversation will help you see beyond the behavior and understand the heart behind it.

You'll walk away with practical insight, greater compassion, and a renewed understanding of how one safe, caring adult can change the trajectory of a child's school experience.

What if one of the greatest opportunities to build trust with your child has been hiding in plain sight? In this powerful conversation, Anna sits down with Tamekia Swint, founder of Styles 4 Kids, to unpack why hair care is so much more than learning the right products or mastering a braid. It's about identity. It's about dignity. It's about helping children of color feel seen, valued, and proud of who they are. Together they share honest stories about the fear, shame, and overwhelm so many transracial adoptive and foster parents experience, while offering practical hope for creating connection instead of conflict. 

This episode challenges the way we think about hair, reframing it not as a luxury or an optional skill, but as a basic part of caring for a child well. You'll walk away understanding why "hair day" can become one of the most meaningful bonding experiences in your home, why community matters more than another YouTube tutorial, and how something as simple as learning to care for your child's hair can strengthen their confidence for years to come. If you're raising a Black or biracial child, this conversation has the potential to change not just how you do hair, but how you parent. 

What happens when you spend nearly five decades wondering where you came from?

In this powerful conversation, Anna Bernacki sits down with transracial adoptee Michael Gaither, a retired educator, former principal, executive coach, and adoption advocate. Michael shares his deeply personal journey of growing up as a Black child in a White family in 1970s Nebraska, navigating identity, race, belonging, and the lifelong questions that many adoptees carry. 

Michael speaks candidly about the challenges of living between two worlds, the pressure to hide his struggles, and the ways adoption shaped his understanding of himself. He reflects on the anger, anxiety, and isolation he experienced growing up, as well as the profound impact of meeting a Black mentor who helped him begin to see himself differently.

Connect with Michael Gaither

Beyond the Moment Adoption Studio
Beyond the Moment Adoption Studio

Resources and Courses
Payhip Store – https://payhip.com/BeyondTheMomentAdoptionStudio?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Free Resource:
Seven Conversations Every White Parent Must Have With Their Black Child - Available free through Michael's website

Dr. Danisha Keating joins Anna for a raw conversation about trauma, survival mode, parenting, and healing. From homelessness and raising her siblings to earning a PhD while battling severe anxiety, Danisha shares what it really means to overcome without pretending it was easy. Together, they discuss trauma-informed parenting, accountability, nervous system healing, and helping kids move beyond survival mode.

In this raw conversation, Anna and Isaac unpack the moment everything shifted for him. Not because the mission failed, but because something deeper inside no longer fit. This episode dives into the identity crisis that comes when your success no longer feels like truth, the grief adoptees carry but rarely name, and the quiet pressure to perform, achieve, and prove your worth… even when it’s costing you everything.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to earn your place in the world, this one will hit deeper than you expect. We learn that sometimes walking away isn’t failure, but rather the first honest step toward becoming who you actually are.

In this insightful interview, Dr. Adam Anthony shares his personal journey as a Black adoptee, the complexities of identity and belonging, and his impactful work in mentorship and advocacy within the adoption community. Discover how lived experience fuels empowerment and how to support adopted children and youth effectively.

Dr. Adam Anthony is an educator, speaker, and leadership development strategist whose work centers on identity, belonging, and healing-centered growth. An adoptee and former foster care youth, Dr. Anthony brings lived experience and research-informed insight to support individuals and communities in resilience, purpose, and self-discovery. He holds a Doctor of Education in Leadership and a Master of Science in Organizational Leadership from Trevecca Nazarene University, as well as a Bachelor of Science in Communications from the University of Evansville. Dr. Anthony’s professional experience spans educational, faith-based, and nonprofit settings, where he passionately partners with leaders and organizations to see, heal, and lead young men with foster care and adoption experiences on a deeper level. Dr. Anthony is the founder of EmpowerMENt, a platform dedicated to equipping young men of color, especially those with foster care or adoption backgrounds, with tools for emotional wellness, personal development, and leadership. 

This conversation delves into the challenges of parenting children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and the systemic issues surrounding the lack of understanding and resources for this condition. It highlights the emotional toll on families, the impact on relationships, and the need for greater awareness and support for adoptive parents dealing with RAD. The conversation delves into the profound impact of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) on families, highlighting the challenges of parenting, the need for mental health services, the long-term effects of RAD, the necessity for system reform, and coping strategies and support. The speakers emphasize the importance of early identification of RAD and the need for seeking help and support.

You can follow Andy on all platforms at @andyfilmsandhikes

What happens when an adoption doesn’t go through? No one really talks about what comes next.

In this deeply moving conversation, Valerie Marble shares the story behind the launch of Beyond the Match Foundation, a groundbreaking initiative created to support families navigating the heartbreak of failed adoptions. From the financial devastation of lost funds to the emotional toll that often goes unseen, this episode sheds light on a reality many families quietly endure.

But this isn’t just a story about loss, it’s about rebuilding. Valerie introduces a new model of care that combines financial grants, mental health resources, and meaningful gestures like Mother’s Day gift baskets designed specifically for adoptive moms at every stage of the journey. This episode offers hope, validation, and a reminder that even in the most painful disruptions, healing and support are possible.

https://astepaheadadoption.com/foundation/

Adoption is often painted as a beautiful, selfless act, but what happens when we look beneath the surface? In this deeply honest and eye-opening conversation, Anna Bernacki sits down with birth mother advocate Jessie Mattos to unpack the ethical complexities that many families never see coming. From hidden coercion to overlooked birth mother support, this episode challenges the narratives that have shaped adoption for decades.

Jessie brings nearly a decade of experience and her own lived story to shed light on what truly ethical adoption should look like. She shares powerful insights into red flags adoptive parents must watch for, the emotional realities birth mothers face, and why centering the adoptee is essential for long-term healing. This isn’t just about doing adoption “right” it’s about confronting uncomfortable truths so that children, birth parents, and adoptive families can all thrive.

If you’re considering adoption, already parenting through it, or simply want a more honest understanding of its impact, this episode will change the way you think and feel about adoption forever.

What You’ll Learn:

• The biggest red flags and green flags when choosing an adoption agency
• How subtle coercion shows up in adoption (and why it matters)
• Why open adoption should be the standard—not the exception
• The lifelong impact of adoption language on adoptee identity
• How adoptive parents can build trust and security through relationships
• The truth about birth mothers and breaking harmful stereotypes
• Why “love isn’t the reason” behind placement decisions

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