Preparing During the Middle School Years

We have mentioned it many times before … communication is an important key to training.  In order for you to be a safe place for your kids to come for accountability, there must be constant communication about the topic of dating.  Many parents are scared to discuss their teen’s relationships because everything looks so different today.  Many parents may also have a hard time getting their teen to open up about this topic.  Especially if you are trying to create this open atmosphere late in the game, it may be difficult.  We must consistently pursue our kids.  This is where the concept of “dating” our children is very helpful. Choosing to start this early on will help set the stage for communication later. During the middle school years you can begin the date training.  Going out to eat, coffee, or somewhere that is not your house may help to open the doors of communication in a neutral environment.  One parent with one child…. like on a date.  If you can, have fathers take out daughters and visa versa.  This way fathers can open doors, ect. and treat their daughters the way they would want their daughter respected on a date. Setting this time up with your child weekly/monthly will also help build the communication routine. Make sure to put it on your family calendar so it will consistently take place!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on positively impacting your child’s future marriage.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2011/03/2011-03-10-PTW23D4.mp3

Where You Begin Preparing

We spoke in brief about this in Monday’s blog.  The place you begin preparing your child for the process of picking a mate is by having open communication about the topic.  This begins in early childhood.  Even as you are praying with them at night before they go to bed you can begin the process of praying for their future spouse.  When they are little you can begin to simply pray for their protection.  As your children get older you can continue this habit by including praying that God will raise them up to be Godly adults.  Maybe even praying for some of the attributes that your child has included on their spouse list.  As your child gets into the adolescent years you can begin encourage them to pray that God will mold them into the spouse that they need to be.

All of this is an easy way to continue to plant seeds and desires to have a spouse who follows the Lord.  You are also planting seeds about how serious this process and decision is.  But it may also allow for some awesome conversations as you kids begin to ask questions about the routine of praying for their future spouse!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on positively impacting your child’s future marriage.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2011/03/2011-03-09-PTW23D3.mp3

Dealing With Difficult Times Do Have an Impact

Our children watch us very closely.  There are even times when you see your child walking around in your shoes to mimic you.  They pick up phrases we say and attitudes we have, how much more will they pick up marital habits?

How we handle difficulty will have a drastic impact on our child’s marriage.  Do they see us handle disagreements with humility or are they observing all out screaming matches where both are determined to be right no matter the cost?  Choosing to stick it out for the kid’s sake but not choosing to continue to better your marriage may effect how your child sees marriage.  Make the choice to not only stick it out through the hard times but die to self and serve your spouse.  Jesus tells us that whenever we serve the “least of these” we are actually serving Him.  Make the choice to serve your children’s future and to serve your Savior by daily choosing to be humble, serve your spouse and work on your marriage.  Even if one spouse is they only one choosing to work that still means that the children will get to observe at least one spouse choosing to be married.  Remember just as choosing to stay married is a choice not a feeling, so is choosing to live out love daily.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on positively impacting your child’s future marriage.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2011/03/2011-03-08-PTW23D2.mp3

You DO Impact The Selection Process

While as American parents today, we may not literally arrange our children’s marriage, we do impact their selection.  This week we are going to talk about the many ways that we impact our children’s choice in their life partner, their spouse.

We mentioned on Friday helping your children create a spouse list.  But we can begin to plant seeds even earlier by letting our children know that we are praying for their future spouse and even involving them in those prayers early on.   We can even utilize the current “happily ever after” craze to spark conversations.  When our daughters are dressed as princesses or watching the latest princess movies we can over a cup of tea, pretend or real, plant those seeds of what prince charming really looks like.  He is a man who serves his Heavenly Father, not necessarily one who rides up on a white horse.  We can teach our sons that a true super hero is the one who loves his Lord and his family by putting their needs first. (Ephesians 5)

We also have a dramatic impact on our children’s choice for a marriage partner by how we live out marriage.  Will they pick a partner who is like their mom or dad because we have done a great job representing how to serve each other?

More about this as we continue this week’s topic.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on positively impacting your child’s future marriage.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2011/03/2011-03-07-PTW23D1.mp3

When Someone Else Is Also Training Your Toddler

There maybe many instances where a toddler may have the opportunity to practice the training outside your home. There may be short stints like nursery or longer stints such as daycare. The short stints can be looked at as practice times away from mom and dad. Be sure to take the time with the childcare worker/nursery attendant/babysitter to check how your child behaved and see what they need to work on.

The areas that can be a little bit more complicated are the family ones. Such as, time with grandparents or sharing time between mom and dad in a divorce. If possible share your parenting plan to see if, for the sake of the children, everyone can do the same thing. If this is not a possibility then at the very least make sure that your house is as consistent as it can be. Be aware that as children come back into your home they will have some adjustment time and adjust your expectations.

For more on the topic of training toddlers listen to today’s podcast.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2012/10/2012-10-12-PTW72D5.mp3

Toddler Triggers

One of the things in dealing with toddlers is being preemptive with behavior. There are certain things that can trigger behavior and if a parent is aware of them they can

head off a potential melt down.

Some are very basic, but may not be thought about in the midst of the fray. Hunger can be a basic trigger as well as being over tired. So a trip to the grocery store too close to nap or lunch time may result in bad behavior. Overstimulation may also cause behavior issues because the toddler cannot process anything else.

Another behavior trigger for toddlers is boredom. This is an easy fix when you sense that your toddler is getting antsy, create an activity. Behavior also seems to slide when mom or dad is distracted so if a phone call needs to be made or another job needs to be done, take the time to get your toddler focused on something ahead of time. We discussed how important having a routine is for a toddler so taking them out of that routine may cause behavior issues because it is unfamiliar. The final trigger we will discuss is other children. Toddlers tend to be brilliant mimics because their brains are so programed for learning at this phase. Be ready when your toddler is around other kids, which is unavoidable, to deal with potential behavior that is picked up.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on training toddlers.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2012/10/2012-10-10-PTW72D3.mp3

The Important Months For Establishing Consistent Boundaries And Encouragement

Toddlerhood is such a crucial time for parenting. Because they are beginning to explore the world around them and are processing everything, the toddler is ripe for this process. What an amazing phase of life that can happen so quickly. It seems like seconds between holding the completely dependent infant and chasing the toddler who is pushing hard for independence. This must be a confusing time for them as they are trying to learn how to communicate, control their emotions and learn boundaries. For this reason this is the time for us to implement the parenting plan and be consistent with consequences and praise. It’s not every phase of childhood that a cheer or applause (literally) can encourage your child to make the right decision. I remember trying to get my firstborn to eat his peas one night because he had hit a picky phase and didn’t want anything. At a loss I made up a “pea song” and would sing it for each bite eaten. It’s amazing what praise will do for encouraging a child in the right direction but it’s crucial for the toddler phase.

Take the time to set up those boundaries for your toddler and remember to go crazy with praise if they make a step in the right direction.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on training toddlers.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2012/10/2012-10-09-PTW72D2.mp3

Toddlers Are Suppose To Push Boundaries

To recap our last week discussing toddlers, we should not be surprised when they push the boundaries. We need to take it a step further and anticipate that they will push the boundaries. Forgive the analogy but it is similar to a dog learning an invisible electric fence. It isn’t a boundary that can physically be seen so they have to run until they hit the “consequence”. The dog must test the entirety of the fence to learn where his boundary lie. Some dogs will consistently push the limits. Others will learn more quickly and can even have their collars removed and will never leave the area because they believe there will be a consequence. Our toddlers have to learn this as well. They aren’t born immediately knowing their boundaries or even what is safe for them. We must teach them but we also must expect them to push back to see if the boundary is solid or if it is something that will change every time.  How hard they push back and how often can change with each child due to their temperament.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on training toddlers.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2012/10/2012-10-08-PTW72D1.mp3

Attributes Of A Friend-Part 2

We are continuing yesterday’s study on what it looks like to be a best friend. Here are some more attributes and verses to study through.

Best friends strive to become great encouragers. Hebrews 3:13

“But encourage one another daily… ”

Best friends strive to be Self-Sacrificing . Philippians 2:4 “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Best friends strive to be spiritually challenging. Proverbs 13:20 “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”

Best friends are fun to be with, remember fun? Proverbs 17:22

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

Listen to today’s podcast for more on attributes of a best friend.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2012/11/2012-11-09-PTW76D5.mp3

Attributes Of A Friend-Part 1

The next two days we will simply share the attributes of a friend and some verses that go along with them for you to process. Take the time to look these up over the next few days.

Best friends are loyal. Proverbs 17:17 “A friend Loves at all times..”

Best friends share. One way they do this is by being good listeners. James 1:19 “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

They also share by being wise talkers. Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Best friends strive to be intellectually stimulating. Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. ”

Listen to today’s podcast for more on the attributes of a friend.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/p2day/2012/11/2012-11-08-PTW76D4.mp3