Inside, they explore:

→ The reframe that changes everything: defiance isn't bad, it's healthy—and spicy kids don't value approval, they value impact, autonomy, and authenticity

→ Why your own unhealed childhood wounds show up in how you parent (especially when your kid reminds you of a parent you struggled with)

→ The Love List: marinating in what's beautiful about your child so you can bring a softened, warm body to the hardest parenting moments

→ The Meltdown Manifesto: Mary's step-by-step guide to surviving tantrums without losing your calm (it's more about who you need to BE than what you need to DO)

→ Why repair is just as important as the apology—and how asking "What was that like for you?" creates healing intimacy that builds lifelong connection

This episode is full of practical scripts, real talk, and the kind of wisdom that only comes from being brought to your knees by a spicy kid—and choosing to heal yourself instead of trying to fix them.

Resources & Links:

Connect with Mary Van Geffen:

→ Book: Parenting a Spicy One - https://www.maryvangeffen.com/parentingaspicyonebook

→ Instagram: @maryvangeffen (Albiona mentioned loving her daily posts)

→ 8-Week Program: Moms of Spicy Ones - https://www.maryvangeffen.com/moso 

Mentioned in This Episode:

→ Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld (the concept of "dancing your child to their tears")

→ Raising Lions by Joe Newman (featured in a previous episode of The Parenting Reframe)

→ The concept of ACE Score (Adverse Childhood Experiences)

→ PARR Framework: Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect (and Repair)

→ Albiona's PARR Journal (created for parents by request)

Connect with Albiona:

→ Book a Free Discovery Call (1:1 Coaching) - https://www.theparentingreframe.com/coaching

→ Follow Albiona on Instagram - @theparentingreframe

→ Join Albiona's Paid Substack Community - https://theparentingreframe.substack.com

Loved this episode?

Please rate, review, and share it with a parent in the trenches with a spicy one, a mom who's been told her kid is "too much," or anyone ready to stop pathologizing their child's fire and start doing the inner work instead.

Because the truth is: these kids aren't broken. They're just wired differently. And when we heal ourselves, we get to delight in them exactly as they are.

Until next time,

Albiona 🤎

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

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