I have a lot of parents tell me that anger is common in their home.  It seems like every conversation with a teen ends in yelling or slammed doors.

Anger is an emotional response to not getting what you want.  When your daughter gets angry, what is she not getting that she craves?  Though many moms and dads see anger as an obstacle to healthy relationships at home… I think it can sometimes be the first step in the right direction to much- needed transformation.

Anger’s not always a bad thing.  Being disrespectful and physically aggressive are wrong.  But you, as an intuitive parent, can look beyond the symptom to what’s really going on in the child’s heart.

Don’t rescue your teen from anger… but help her find the source!

 

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Is your teen a low achiever?  Maybe he doesn’t make the grades you’d like… or never remembers to do his chores around the house.

There are certain situations in the home where I’m in favor of offering rewards for accomplishments.  Now… I’m not saying you should have a performance- based relationship… where you retract love when your child makes a mistake.  Instead, I’m advocating a little motivation for your teen.

Chances are you know what your child wants and what he’d like to own.  You also know his areas of underachievement.  So… connect those two.  Offer financial rewards for meeting goals.  You may as well take what you would’ve given at birthdays and Christmas… and spread it out over twelve months in order to help your child reach his goals!  Motivate your under achiever!

 

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Student Story: Kennady

Are you preparing your teen for the real world they’re going to encounter? Or the idealized world you hope they’ll live in?

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston offers twelve practical ways parents can prepare their teens to survive in the “jungle.”

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

In your home and mine… respect is a key issue!

If disrespectful comments are the norm in your household… something’s gotta be done.  Because relationships won’t be healthy unless there’s mutual respect.

So here’s what I challenge parents to do.  First, admit that you may be contributing to the disrespect in the home.  If that’s the case, admit it and apologize for any belittling or bitterness you’ve added to the equation.

Then, call a family dinner… and announce that you’re making some changes.  You’ll make an effort to be different… and you expect the same from your teen.

You might be surprised at the outcome when you have the courage to take the first step!  Remember… disrespect will slowly disintegrate your relationships.  So don’t let it happen.  Take care of it right now!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Teens today feel a sense of entitlement.  They want more, demand more, and expect more than any other generation I’ve known.

My friend, Dr. Tim Kimmel, puts it this way:  “The problem with kids brought up in our typical middle class home is this…  they’re born on third base but are under the delusion they hit a triple!” 

It’s this platform of unbridled entitlement that causes young people to remain immature, neglect responsibility and treat people disrespectfully.  Basically… they’re refusing to grow up.

Sadly, I often see moms and dads fostering these attitudes in their children.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to give your child things, and put ‘em on third base… but consider how withholding privileges might teach your child much more than hitting a grand slam!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Someone once said, “Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat— word for word— what you shouldn’t have said!”

You probably know what I’m talking about.  When your kids were little they blurted out things in public that you said in private.

Well, that might not happen when the kids turn into teenagers.  But be assured that they’re still watching you.  And… in more ways than one… mimicking what you say and do.

So, if that’s the case… how are you teaching your kids to live?  How are you teaching them to talk?  These are questions that moms and dads like you and me need to think about!

“Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat— word for word— what you shouldn’t have said!”

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Have you set high standards for your teen?  Do you want them to grow up to be smart, mature and responsible adults?  Of course you do.

We all want the best for our kids.  And a healthy amount of prodding and preparing are good.  It’s what we’re called to do.  But when moms and dads become more concerned with meeting the standards and lookin’ good to the neighbors… bad things happen.

So don’t give up on helping your teen become the best adult he can be.  But watch what you’re really after.  If it’s just the standard and making yourself look successful… better double check your motives!

Get back to loving the kid in your household …without concerning yourself with your reputation.  Your teen will love you for it.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

I know something about you.  You’re pretty good at listening… when something is important to you.

I find that moms and dads have forgotten that fact.  They don’t listen any more… partly because they’ve gotten so good at talking.  And… a few years ago when the kids were little… talking worked!

But now… when teens want to spread their wings and figure things out on their own… the time for lecturing has come to a close.  Now’s the time to rest your voice and use your ears.  It’s the perfect opportunity for you to show your teen how important you think he is.

When your teen shares his heart, don’t ruin the moment by interrupting.  If you do …he may quit sharing altogether!

So stop talking.  And start listening!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Student Story: Gabby

Whatever your teen experiences under your roof will have a lasting impact when they eventually have kids of their own.

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston discusses what you can be doing right now to ensure the future health and welfare of your greatest treasure: your family.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

If your teen is like the kids I know… she’s an expert on this year’s trends.  She knows all about the latest fashions.

The latest fashions for teens don’t matter that much to you and me.  Until they cross the line.  I deal with parents all the time who worry about their daughters’ outfits …especially the seductive ones.  These parents catalogue every piece of clothing… and assign strict rules about each one.

But part of me just wants to give these girls some clarity.  See… I hope you’ll draw the line when it comes to modesty for your girl.  But when it comes to the latest fashions?  Don’t micro-manage.

Allow for a little freedom of expression!  Let your girl be the expert she desperately wants to be.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.