Parents We've Met

This week we’re joined by special guest Matt Brown (MNZM) - pāpā, husband, co-founder of She is not your rehab, author, communicator and internationally acclaimed barber (yes, really!) - for a powerful conversation about parenting, trauma and healing. 

Listener note: In this episode we touch on some sensitive topics including domestic abuse, suicide and sexual abuse. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek support from a mental health professional or connect with Lifeline Aotearoa by texting 4357. Your wellbeing is important. 

Matt shares openly about his upbringing as one of nine kids and the journey that led him to confront the pain and trauma that marked much of his childhood. Together with Dayna and Jenny he chats about forgiveness and breaking cycles through the lens of, ‘seek to understand, rather than to be understood’ , a principle that has guided him through his healing journey.

Matt and his wife Sarah have created some incredible resources which you can check out here: two books She is not your rehab and This is not yours to carry - and a mental health app Innerboy, which has been designed to support men in healing from intergenerational trauma and abuse. 

For free support for mental distress, please check out these other below resources: 

⁠Need to talk?⁠  Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.  

⁠Youthline⁠  0800 376 633, free text 234 or email ⁠[email protected]⁠ or ⁠online chat⁠.  

⁠Just a thought⁠  Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠ 

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠.      

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dayna and Jenny are joined by Parent Coach Sheridan Eketone for a deep dive into what teens really need from us during this important developmental stage.

They chat about the importance of helping teens build a sense of competence, autonomy and connection - finding what lights them up and creating space for them to lean into their passions (yes, even if they seem a little quirky!). Alongside this, they unpack the quiet power of everyday moments, the ‘snatched’ connections that remind our young people that they’re loved without needing to earn it. 

They also take an honest look at the things that can unintentionally push teens further away - from long lectures and ‘I-told-you-sos’ to stepping in too quickly to fix things - and how small shifts can make a big difference. 

You’ll hear practical ways to: 

They also shed some light on what’s happening developmentally in the teenage brain, and why - even when they act like they don’t need us - they still deeply do.  

We reference Kathryn Berkett’s book: ‘What’s going on in there? The Neuroscience of the Adolescent Brain’. Check it out here: https://www.engagetraining.co.nz/my-book 

Got a parenting challenge you need help with? Book a 1:1 coaching session online or in-person at parentingplace.nz/coaching   

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠.     

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are mornings tricky or stressful? Need to get to work on time and your kid’s distracted by carpet fluff? Parent coach Kristin Ward joins us on the coaches’ couch this week with some hot tips and tools to help you leave the house without completely losing it! 

Together with Jenny and Dayna, Kristin shares strategies for calmer mornings including building in simple systems and time buffers, guarding kids’ sleep so they wake naturally, on time, and prioritising intentional moments of connection to keep the vibes sweet. 

Got a parenting challenge you need help with? Book a 1:1 coaching session online or in-person at parentingplace.nz/coaching

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠.     

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're honoured to have one of our sporting and dad heroes, DJ Forbes, on the Parents We’ve Met couch. A husband, super proud dad to two teens and a legend of the game, DJ was captain of the All Blacks Sevens for nearly a decade, earning more titles, honours and accolades than we can squeeze into this podcast intro.   

In this honest chat, DJ shares with Jenny and Dayna some of the lessons he’s learnt in high-performance sports and how they translate to raising great humans. He talks about navigating different personalities, staying connected as kids grow, and the question many parents quietly carry: have we done enough to prepare them for the world? 

DJ also reflects on his Samoan culture, the lessons from his career that have shaped who he is - and the value he places on growing resilient kids with passion and inner drive.   

Got a parenting challenge you need help with? Book a 1:1 coaching session online or in-person at parentingplace.nz/coaching  

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠.    

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you get your kids to do things around the house without nagging or bribing - and does pocket money help or hinder your efforts? Parent coach Kristin Ward joins Jenny and Dayna to talk through the whys and hows of chores and pocket money. 

Kristin shares research that suggests there’s a correlation between involving kids in housework and kids completing their education, getting on a career path, forming better relationships with family and friends – and staying away from drugs. How compelling is that?! 

In this episode, they also cover: 

Got a parenting challenge you need help with? Book a 1:1 coaching session online or in-person at parentingplace.nz/coaching 

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠.   

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Parent Coach Kristin Ward is back on the couch this week chatting about building independence in kids - without pushing them too far, too soon. 

Kristin shares research that suggests there’s less ‘roaming’ in kids these days compared to previous decades, meaning the distance that parents allow their kids to move around, especially from their home, has reduced - while other skills that boost independence like cooking and speaking up for oneself have taken a backseat.  

She shares why childhood is the best time for low-stakes consequences and learning through experience, offering advice on how a simple scaffold – watch > do together > do independently – can help boost independence and confidence in a healthy way. She also talks about leaving space for ‘welcome dependence’ when family moments call for it. 

Got a parenting challenge you need help with? Book a 1:1 coaching session online or in-person at parentingplace.nz/coaching 

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠.   

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listener note: In this episode we briefly reference eating disorders. We approach this topic gently, but if this is a topic that is sensitive for you, please take care while listening.

Jenny and Dayna are joined this week by one of New Zealand's leading child nutrition experts, Rachael Wilson, for a jam-packed chat on raising kids with healthy, positive relationships with food and their bodies.  

Rachael is a mum-to-two, a UK-trained registered dietician specialising in family feeding, feeding disorders, disordered eating and body image - and co-founder of Aotearoa-based parenting and nutrition initiative, The Food Tree.  

In this episode, Rachael generously shares her knowledge on a wide range of topics, from school lunches, navigating ‘beige food’ phases and selective eating, reducing mealtime battles and role modelling well, to supporting autonomy around food and encouraging positive body talk. 

She also explains ARFID and shares some red flags' parents can look out for; she looks at mindful anxiety regulation around food; and warning signs that might indicate disordered eating in a teen.

Rachael also answers some popular listener questions, including: 

For more information on Rachael’s work, visit www.thefoodtree.co. Check out some of the articles referenced in this episode:

https://www.thefoodtree.co/post/let-s-take-the-pressure-out-of-our-children-s-lunchboxes 

https://www.thefoodtree.co/post/ellyn-satter-and-the-division-of-responsibility-how-can-it-help-your-child-s-eating 

For support and resources around eating disorders, check out: https://www.ed.org.nz/

For free support for mental distress, please check out the below resources:

Need to talk? 
Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor. 

Youthline 
0800 376 633, free text 234 or email [email protected] or online chat. 

Just a thought 
Email: [email protected] 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When their feelings are in the drivers’ seat, family life can feel tough! Parent Coach Sheridan Eketone joins us on the couch this week to unpack high sensitivity in kids and offer some hot tips and encouragement for parents on that journey. 

Together with Jenny and Dayna, she explores what’s going on for sensitive kids and why a simple reframe can turn sensitivity into a gift - a trait to work with, not against. She offers simple strategies for building buffer time and downtime into weekly rhythms, pre-empting and preparing for overwhelming situations, using simple emotional check-ins – and helping to raise them into resilient adults. 

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠.   

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're joined by Helen Manson – a mum-of-four, humanitarian photographer and storyteller, whose work has taken her into some of the most vulnerable communities in the world.  

Together with her husband Tim, Helen has created a beautiful ‘stretchy' family made up of adopted, biological and fostered kids and a picture of life that’s curious, outward-focused and ‘bigger than their own backyard’.  Moving back to New Zealand from Uganda in 2020, they have navigated through the challenges that come with transitioning into a new way of life, while staying connected to the old one.

Generous with her knowledge, Helen talks to Jenny and Dayna about raising kids with grit who are aware of the wider world (while also protected from the weight of it), and who have the building blocks to develop deep empathy and compassion for others. 

She shares openly about the challenges of foster care, and the need for intentional rhythms and dreams to anchor the logistics of a very busy family life. 

You can see more of Helen’s humanitarian photography and storytelling work here https://www.helenmanson.com/ and more about the International Justice Mission here https://www.ijm.org/. 

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠HERE⁠.  

Find us on:⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠/⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠ 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Parent Coach Kristin Ward is back on the Coaches’ Couch with Jenny and Dayna this week to chat about the vast benefits of emotion coaching - teaching kids to understand and manage their emotions (both the tiny and the mighty ones!) well.

Together, they explore why allowing and validating big emotions matters, how your choice of words can dismiss or override emotions (usually unintentionally!), and practical ways to teach ‘healthy’ expressions of everyday feelings.

Plus, Kristin shares some hot tips for managing meltdowns, modelling emotional coping, naming feelings, and supporting children in dealing well with challenging feelings like disappointment, frustration, and anger.

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠.  

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices