Parking Lot Salad

The Michigan Wolverines have one of the best defenses in college football, and an offense determined to make sure it doesn't matter. This week, Alex and John break down Michigan's frustrating loss to Indiana, the growing calls to fire offensive coordinator Jason Beck, and Kyle Whittingham's increasingly questionable defense of his coaching staff. With Rutgers up next, the guys debate whether a blowout win would actually do more harm than good.

Meanwhile, the Detroit Lions are coming off a huge win against the Green Bay Packers, and Jared Goff is playing like a surgeon. The guys discuss Brian Branch's electric interception, Jahmyr Gibbs' continued dominance, and the looming challenge of Minnesota's blitz-heavy defense. Can the Lions protect their dear sweet penguin baby against the Vikings? Plus, Alex shares his intimate understanding of conservative men, John admits he runs like a sundial, and the guys explore the finer points of firing someone via Snapchat.

Follow the hosts here:

John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuan

Alex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovic

Mike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3

Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina

Michigan entered the season with its quarterback of the future. Unfortunately, the future apparently had other plans. After another frustrating performance from Bryce Underwood against Penn State, true freshman Tommy Carr takes over and suddenly the Wolverines look like a different football team. Alex and John break down the quarterback controversy, Michigan's questionable offensive play-calling, whether the coaching staff has failed Underwood, and what Carr's emergence means with a dangerous Indiana team coming to Ann Arbor.

Meanwhile, the Detroit Lions are getting some much-needed reinforcements as Brian Branch and Cade Mays prepare to return for a huge NFC North showdown against the Green Bay Packers. The guys discuss what Branch brings to Detroit's defense, the importance of the next two divisional games, and why a dog groomer turned preacher might be the key to the Lions' season. Plus, quarterback conspiracies, questionable coaching decisions, and an alarming amount of excitement about Brian Branch.

Follow the hosts here:

John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuan

Alex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovic

Mike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3

Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina

The Detroit Lions finally put together the kind of performance we've been waiting for, overcoming three straight three-and-outs to absolutely embarrass the Arizona Cardinals. Sam LaPorta is making his case for a massive payday, Jahmyr Gibbs continues to defy physics, and the Lions' offense is apparently comfortable showing Arizona a little more than they bargained for. Meanwhile, John nearly ends a friendship over a pot of gumbo and a football game that refuses to go live, and Alex's fantasy football addiction is starting to become a legitimate concern.

Over in Ann Arbor, the Michigan Wolverines are having an identity crisis. Is Jason Beck turning Michigan into Rich Rod 2.0? Is Bryce Underwood actually the problem, or is he just trying to survive an offense that doesn't know what it wants to be? The guys break down Michigan's offensive struggles, defend a defense that's getting absolutely no help, and look ahead to a Penn State matchup that could go horribly wrong for everyone involved. Plus, leaked locker room texts, Brian Branch's impending return, Ohio State's questionable NFL legacy, and the saddest hot take in Michigan football history: Tommy Carr taking 12 snaps.

Follow the hosts here:

John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuan

Alex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovic

Mike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3

Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina

John and Zach take over this week to figure out what exactly is going on with the Detroit Lions defense. The pass rush is getting pressure, the secondary is giving receivers acres of open space, and somehow a defense featuring Aidan Hutchinson, Jack Campbell, Alim McNeill, and the soon-to-return Brian Branch still can’t seem to stop anybody. They talk Kelvin Sheppard’s scheme, whether Brad Holmes needs to trade for a legitimate CB1, why the Super Bowl window is still wide open, and what needs to change before the Lions dig themselves a deeper hole.

On offense, they break down Jared Goff, Jahmyr Gibbs, Jameson Williams, Isaac TeSlaa, the offensive line, and what they expect against Arizona. There are also library late fees, enchiladas, Kirby Joseph vacuum jokes, college football slander, and a reminder that Parking Lot Salad doesn’t rely on statistics or extensive research. We talk football the way it was meant to be talked about: from memory and the heart.

Follow the hosts here:
John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuan
Alex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovic
Mike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3
Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina

Michigan finally looked like the team we’ve been waiting for, which naturally means they lost. Bryce Underwood had his best game yet, the defense did its job, and one late comedy of errors turned a winnable game against Iowa into another frustrating Saturday. We break down what actually looked encouraging, what still isn’t working, and why the Wolverines might finally be ready to open things up against Minnesota.

Then it’s on to the Lions, where Jared Goff is dealing, the offensive line is settling in, and Jahmyr Gibbs continues to make NFL defenders look like they’ve been assigned to chase the fast kid at recess. We talk Detroit’s win, the emergence of some unexpected contributors, the battered Panthers waiting in primetime, and whether this is finally the week the Lions drop 40 on somebody.

Follow the hosts here:
John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuan
Alex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovic
Mike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3
Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina

Comedian and author Joel Walkowski joins us this week to talk Lions, Wolverines, and the particular kind of brain damage that comes from caring this much about football. Joel is also the author of Honolulu Blues: How Loving a Losing Football Team Created a Winning Man, his new book about Lions fandom, family, and surviving decades of disappointment. You can check it out here: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Honolulu-Blues/Joel-Walkowski/9781637749043

We get into Michigan’s uneven start, Bryce Underwood’s progress, the offensive line, and the upcoming Iowa matchup before turning to the Lions’ loss to Buffalo, the state of the secondary, Brian Branch, Jahmyr Gibbs, the Jets matchup, and whether Aaron Glenn knows this roster a little too well. And after watching former Lion Greg Dortch make a play against Detroit, we arrive at the only reasonable conclusion: we got Dortched.

Follow the hosts here:
John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuan
Alex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovic
Mike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3
Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina

Michigan football has officially dragged us back in. After a miserable opener, the Wolverines look like an entirely different team against Oklahoma, with Bryce Underwood making smarter decisions, the defense absolutely flying around, and Michigan suddenly giving us reasons to believe again. We break down Bryce’s progress, Jordan Marshall’s slow start, the offensive line’s growing pains, an absurd number of penalties, and a defense that already looks terrifying.

We also look ahead to UTEP, make some bold predictions, discuss whether Michigan might spend the entire season playing exactly to the level of its competition, and celebrate the deeply stressful experience of watching every team you love and hate play a close game at the same time. Plus: Ohio State schadenfreude, Rick Mahorn, the Detroiters, the greatest job in football, and the important question of whether anyone on this podcast can remember a player’s name without a set of trading cards in front of them.

Follow the hosts here:
John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuan
Alex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovic
Mike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3
Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina

Michigan football is back, and somehow we’re already exhausted. The guys break down the Wolverines’ bizarre escape against Western Michigan, Bryce Underwood’s rough outing, an offensive line that looked completely overwhelmed, the defense keeping the game alive, and the clock controversy surrounding the miraculous finish. After one game, expectations have gone from playoff dreams to simply hoping everyone figures out what they’re doing before Ohio State. Naturally, that means it’s also time for some extremely reasonable predictions about Oklahoma.

Then it’s over to the Detroit Lions, where the mood is considerably less bleak. We talk about the revamped defensive line, Aidan Hutchinson potentially lining up all over the field, Jahmyr Gibbs becoming the center of the offense, concerns about the secondary and offensive line, and why this might finally be the year. Plus: food poisoning, manual car payments, swinger speculation, Aaron Sorkin calling plays, the Legion of Whom, and John making it very clear that if you’re not wearing Honolulu Blue, he does not wish you well.

Follow the hosts here:
John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuan
Alex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovic
Mike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3
Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina

Season 3 is here, and with John and Zach unavailable, Alex and Mike are left unsupervised to convince themselves that the Michigan Wolverines are a proper football team again. They break down Bryce Underwood’s development, Michigan’s suddenly promising defensive line and secondary, the improved offensive line, a loaded backfield, and why having coaches who appear to coach their players could be a meaningful competitive advantage.

They also predict Michigan’s record, identify Oregon and Indiana as the most likely losses, discuss the increasingly joyless experience of interacting with Ohio State fans, and make some extremely confident Week 1 predictions that will almost certainly be preserved forever for use against them. Plus: Harrison Township comedy, rich people on pills, Alex’s completely legal home media empire, Lloyd Carr, Ken Griffey Jr., and the triumphant return of believing everything coaches say during training camp.

Follow the hosts here:
John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuan
Alex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovic
Mike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3
Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina

Alex and John run it back as a two-man crew and get deep into a surprisingly satisfying Detroit Lions draft. No flashy headlines, just a lot of “this might actually work” picks. They break down the offensive line upgrades, argue over the Derrick Moore move, and talk themselves into a defense that could be scary if it stays healthy.

They also hit Michigan football, the Whittingham era, and what a young but more disciplined Wolverines team might actually look like this season. Somewhere in there: NIL “mercenaries,” rival fanbases losing their minds, and the eternal Detroit sports tradition of cautious optimism battling blind hope.

Follow the hosts here:John Mahar: https://www.instagram.com/_grandjuanAlex Bozinovic: https://linktr.ee/alexbozinovicMike Cronin: https://www.instagram.com/bonesnake3Zach Martina: https://linktr.ee/ZachMartina