November 12, 2021

Passivity is not the same as Peace

1 hour 7 minutes

Is it ok to be in a relationship when you are chronically dissatisfied if there are no arguments? Why do people end up staying in relationships that are not making them happy? What do we need to make us pull the plug on lifeless relationships?

Effy and Jacqueline jump on the airwaves to challenge the idea that passivity is the same as peace. They discuss what Esther Perel calls stable ambiguity or what Effy calls relationship purgatory where people remain in a holding pattern in relationships where things are undefined, lines are blurred, and desires go unsaid even though they are soaking in dissatisfaction, disharmony, and disconnection.

They explore what stable ambiguity looks like, why people choose to remain in purgatory, and what are some of the strategies to break the holding pattern.

If you are feeling unsafe in your relationship and need support, these resources can help:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE)
You can text LOVEIS to 22522 or call 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 any day or time to speak to an advocate to discuss your situation and develop a safety plan.

National Dating Abuse Hotline: 1-866-331-9474
You can text LOVEIS to 22522, call 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 any day or time, or go on thehotline.org to speak to an advocate.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (1-800-656-HOPE)
You can contact the Sexual Assault Hotline any day or time.