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What are some of the most common pitfalls when couples are opening up? Which conversations are essential when discussion non monoamy? What are some of the common myths when it comes to open relationships? And what about jealousy? 

Open relationships have a unique set of challenges and it’s often hard to know how to resolve them as open relationships have no specific roadmap. In this revisited episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore some of the common #PolyProblems that people face and share insights, tips, and personal stories for how folks have navigated through those challenges. 

Listen in as they explore common misconceptions that we have to unlearn in order to successfully practice non-monogamy for the long-term, as well as answers to some of the most asked questions.

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Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
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In a world where discussions about sexuality often default to a heteronormative framework, what insights can we gain when we shift our focus to a queer perspective? How does queer sex challenge and expand our understanding of pleasure, consent, and sexual expression? What can individuals of all genders and orientations learn from queer sexuality?

In this week’s episode, Effy welcomes back sex educator and author Allison Moon for a thought-provoking conversation where they explore the inherently pleasure-centric nature of queer sex and how this focus offers a broadened redefinition of sex and sexual expression. 

Effy and Allison dissect the limitations of traditional, heteronormative sex education and ponder the integration of queer sexual practices into the lives of straight individuals, contemplating how heteronormative couples might benefit from the queer emphasis on pleasure, consent, and open communication.

To learn more about Allison

Allison Moon is the author of five books including the instant classic sex-ed guide Girl Sex 101 and Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex. She has been quoted in Cosmopolitan, New York magazine, and The Washington Post. A popular sex educator, Allison has presented her workshops — on strap-on sex, polyamory, sexual self-expression, erotica writing, and more — to thousands of people around the US and Canada. Inspired by her sex education work, Moon writes screenplays, stage plays, and teleplays that explore the complexities of identity, sexuality and desire,

Instagram: allison_moon

girlsex101.com

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How can parents and caregivers create a safe and open environment where young individuals navigating their own identities feel comfortable exploring and expressing their evolving identities? What are the most common misconceptions or misunderstandings that parents and caregivers have about supporting queer, trans, and non-binary young people? How can they overcome these barriers to offer genuine support? What actionable steps can educators and community leaders take to ensure that queer, trans, and non-binary youth feel seen, heard, and validated in these spaces?

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline invite sex educator and author Cory Silberbeg back on the show to discuss how to support young people in their quest to understand their identity, sexual orientation, and gender in today's political climate. They discuss the role of “trusted adults”, how to facilitate conversations and field questions in the home, and how to ensure a support network in and out of the home environment.

More about Cory Silverberg

Raised in the 1970s by a children’s librarian and a sex therapist, Cory grew up to be a sex educator, author, and queer person who smiles a lot when they talk.

Cory spends a lot of time reading, writing, and talking about sex and gender and are happiest working with others. Cory was a founding member of the Come As You Are Co-operative and worked as a researcher and television consultant for over 10 years. Cory is a core team member of ANTE UP!, a virtual professional freedom school founded by Bianca I Laureano. They also spend a lot of time helping other people make books.

Cory is the co-author of four books including What Makes a Baby, the ALA Stonewall Honor Book Sex Is a Funny Word, and the forthcoming You Know, Sex, all with Fiona Smyth. Cory has been featured on NPR’s Fresh Air, and their books have been called “the books about sex that every family should read” by the New York Times.  Cory's life is full of kids. All of them know where babies come from. Some know more. Learn more about Cory at www.corysilverberg.com.

IG: @corysilverberg

Twitter: @corysilverberg

FB: https://www.facebook.com/whatmakesababy

Website: www.corysilverberg.com

Profile in the New York Times Magazine: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/28/magazine/sex-ed-books-teens-parents.html

ANTE UP! Professional Development School: https://www.anteuppd.com/

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In the intricate dance of relationships, what happens when our desires diverge from those of our partners? What common patterns emerge when partners want differently? And how can we skillfully bridge these gaps without losing ourselves in the process?

In this episode, Effy invites Dr. Joli Hamilton back on the show for a candid conversation about the complexities of mismatched desires. Together, they dissect the root causes of these disparities, offer insights on managing them in both fledgling and established relationships and challenge prevailing myths that often cloud our understanding. Join them on this explorative journey, unraveling the nuances of desire and the art of harmonizing differences.

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What relationship fears lurk in the shadows of our minds, sending chills down our spines? Can the art of storytelling serve as both an outlet for our deepest relationship anxieties and a means of processing them? Might the eerie embrace of Halloween be the unlikely balm to soothe these fears?

In this special Halloween episode, Effy and Jacqueline delve into the anatomy of fear and go for a chilling foray into the Haunted House of relationship horrors once again. This time crafted with the brave contributions of our listeners, each chamber of this frightful abode captures a distinct relationship dread, reimagined. As we traverse this auditory maze, we're plunged into visceral scenarios that resonate all too deeply, creating a tapestry of fear, fascination, and shared human experience. An immersive treat that's equal parts spine-tingling and soul-touching—just in time for Halloween.

Here’s a framework to come up with your own room:   

What are you afraid of? 

• being abandoned
• losing myself
• being trapped, etc.

This will give you the theme of the room  

What is a scenario that illustrates that fear? 

• my partner will meet someone better than me and leave
• my partner and children will need so much of me that I will lose myself
• non-monogamy is not an option and my partner is not interested in sex then I will never have sex again, etc.

This will give you context for the room  

What is a physical experience that can describe the feeling of fear? Think of it as a verb.

• Falling
• Sinking
• walking on a tightrope
• jumping from rock to rock over lava
• being pulled in all directions
• Shrinking
• hanging off the side of a cliff, etc.

That will give you the movement in the room that also will help your lister to empathize with your feelings. 

What helps you feel better? 

• concentrating on all the unique things you bring to a relationship
• asking your partner for validation when you feel insecure
• creating guilt-free space to be on your own doing something you enjoy, etc.

This will help you formulate your way out of the room.

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How deeply does our perception of safety influence our behavior in relationships? What internal shifts transpire within our nervous system when we oscillate between feelings of security and threat? And, how can we nurture an environment that fosters safety and wellbeing?

In the third installment of our four-part series on trauma, we revisit a poignant episode where Effy and Jacqueline engage in an insightful discussion with Rida Kirasi, a sound healing therapist, meditation facilitator, and Somatic Experiencing practitioner. Together, they unravel the intricate tapestry of trauma healing, emphasizing the potent role of our bodily sensations and reactions. They delve into the transformative power of sound, breath, meditation, and embodiment practices as tools not only for healing but also for cultivating a robust sense of safety and emotional regulation.

To find out more about Rida Kirasi
Instagram: @soundalatherapy
Website: soundalatherapy.com

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How might we challenge and expand upon the established medical definitions of trauma? Can our understanding of healing evolve to encompass not just the alleviation of symptoms but also the reclamation of joy and pleasure? What are the recent shifts in utilizing psychedelics as tools for trauma treatment?

In this episode, Effy sits down with Dee Dee Goldpaugh, a psychotherapist, educator, author, activist, and the Clinical Director of Chrysalis Integrative Psychotherapy. Together, they embark on an in-depth exploration of the transformative potential of psychedelics in trauma therapy. Shedding light on prevailing medical models and their constraints, Effy and Dee Dee advocate for a more holistic approach, one that not only prioritizes the individual's wellbeing, reconnection to pleasure, joy and eroticism but also remains acutely aware of the broader social, cultural, and environmental implications of psychedelic use.

To find out more about Dee Dee Goldpaugh
Dee Dee (they/them/theirs) is a psychotherapist, educator, clinical supervisor, author, and activist. They are the Clinical Director of Chrysalis Integrative Psychotherapy. Dee Dee has taught and published widely on the topics of psychedelics, sexuality, trauma, gender, and spirituality. They have been a leading voice in the development of Psychedelic Integration Psychotherapy techniques, specifically with survivors of trauma and have published the first article to appear in an academic journal, Sexual and Relationship Therapy, exploring the intersection of sexuality, spirituality, and psychedelic healing.

Dee Dee is a clinical supervisor for EMBARK psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy approach. They offer Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy as part of the team at the Woodstock Therapy Center and facilitate ketamine-assisted psychotherapy retreats. They have also completed the MAPS training in MDMA-assisted psychotherapy. Dee Dee is the author of the forthcoming book Feeling Good: How Psychedelics Can Help Us Reconnect To Our Sexuality, Reclaim Pleasure, and Rediscover Ourselves due to be published in 2024 by Inner Traditions.

Dee Dee has been a presenter in the Sex Therapy Collaborative and a faculty instructor in the Trauma Therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy. They have presented at The Alt Sex Conference Speaker’s Series, The Center for Optimal Living, Ante Up! and are contributing author in the book Queering Psychedelics. They have been featured in articles by Vice Magazine, Chacruna, The Albany Times Union, Medium, Brides, Psymposia, Refinery 29, and Psychology Today. Dee Dee runs therapist consultation groups in Psychedelic Integration Therapy.

Instagram: @deedeegoldpaugh
Website: deedeegoldpaugh.com
Chrysalis Integrative Therapy: chrysalisintegrativetherapy.com

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How do we navigate the multifaceted nature of trauma beyond the often reductive parameters set by the medical system? How is memory formation and storage impacted by trauma and how does that impact the trauma experience? Can our journey towards healing be supported by those other than professionals?  

In this episode, Effy talks with trauma researcher and author, Dr. MaryCatherine "MC" McDonald, whose book, "Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong And Other Things You Need to Know to Take Back Your Life," offers refreshing perspectives in understanding and addressing trauma. Dr. MC introduces a perspective that views trauma responses as indicators of strength and resilience, challenging commonly held beliefs around vulnerability and fragility. As Effy and Dr. MC explore the neurological mechanics of trauma, they also discuss healing methodologies that move beyond standard medical approaches, emphasizing the power of self-articulation and individual paths to recovery.

To find out more about Dr. MaryCatherine "MC" McDonald
MaryCatherine (MC) McDonald, PhD, is a research professor and life coach who specializes in the psychology of trauma, stress, and resilience. She has been researching, lecturing, and publishing on the neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience of trauma and stress for over a decade. She is passionate about destigmatizing trauma, stress, and mental health issues in general, as well as reframing our understanding of trauma in order to better understand and treat it.

After receiving her master’s degree at The New School, where she researched traumatic loss and mourning, she went on to complete her PhD at Boston University. She has published several research articles and book chapters, as well as three books on trauma. The most recent book comes out in March 2023 with Sounds True publishing, and is called, Unbroken: The Trauma Response is Never Wrong (and other things you need to know to take back your life).

In addition to her academic work, Dr. McDonald has a thriving life- coaching business. She has worked with many different populations including, combat veterans, victims of sexual assault and childhood trauma, previously incarcerated folks, those suffering from the loss of a loved one, people going through career transitions, dealing with burnout, working to fix family dynamics, and more. She has coached individuals clients and corporations since 2010, and created trauma-based curriculum for nonprofit organizations in New York, Virginia, and California.
 
Instagram: @mc.phd
TikTok: @mc.phd

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