Why is it that when we feel comfy and settled, we suddenly long for passion and freedom? And conversely, why do a string of spontaneous adventures have us longing for stability? Is it possible for us to be both planted and to fly?

Jacqueline revisits a conversation with Effy about how to balance the comfort of being rooted and settled with the desire for variety and passion. They share their tips for how to assess what you are craving and figure out how to deal with the discomfort and fill the gaps.

Book: Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
You can find the Fuel Gauge Activity worksheet mentioned in this episode here.

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How important is compartmentalization when you are in multiple relationships? Can we go too far with "don't ask, don't tell"? Are there consequences to keeping parts of our lives separate?

In this week's episode, we take a trip into the multiple worlds within Jacqueline's mind and explore the reasons for compartmentalization and integration. Effy and Jacqueline examine why we separate some of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, particularly within open relationships; and reveal how too much compartmentalizing can degrade our wellbeing, our connections, and our relationships.

Willy Wonka Tunnel

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How can relationship structures evolve over time? How can we thrive as our relationships change? What are some essential communication tools that can support our relationships and those in it?

In this week’s episode Effy is joined by fellow podcasters Dedeker, Emily and Jase of Multiamory.  Dedeker, Emily and Jase share how their relationship evolved from a quad to a long term triad to now a whole other structure and reflect on highs and lows of each phase of their relationship. Effy, Dedeker, Emily and Jase also discuss the communication tools they have developed over the years and now published as a book of the same name.

You can get a copy of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships on the Curious Fox Bookshop.

To find out more about Multiamory - Dedeker Winston, Emily Matlack, Jase Lindgren
Jase, Emily, and Dedeker created the Multiamory Podcast in 2014 to raise awareness, provide approachable resources, and combat the stigma faced by people in non-traditional relationships. Today, with hundreds of episodes, millions of downloads around the world, and a rapidly growing community, they are dedicated to offering practical advice and communication tools, grounded in the latest relationship research, guest experts, and years of professional experience. Multiamory has been featured in numerous publications, including NPR, Vice, Huffington Post, Oprah Daily, Cosmopolitan, and Elle. In addition to their national tours, they have presented at the Google campus in Seattle and have been keynote speakers and presenters at numerous conferences.

Instagram: @multiamory_podcast
Twitter: @multiamory
TikTok: @multiamory
Book: Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships

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What is Yoni gazing? Why would you want to look “down there”? How do you ask your partner to help?

This week Effy is joined by long time friend of the Fox, sex and pleasure coach, Jocelyn Silva to talk about Yoni gazing. They discuss how simple yet powerful it is to intentionally look at your vulva with a mirror, and Jocelyn shares a Yoni gazing ceremony where you can connect with your vulva and nurture a relationship with this important and divide part of your body. 

To learn more about Jocelyn
Jocelyn Silva is a bisexual polyamorous Sexual Empowerment Coach, Sex Educator, First Generation Latina, and full-time digital nomad. She empowers YOU to embrace your sexual essence and lead a pleasure-FILLED life! She has 12 years of sex education experience, and 3 years coaching women, couples, and now men on their road to full sexual empowerment + embodiment.

Instagram: @iamjocelynsilva
TikTok: @iamjocelynsilva
Website: www.jocelynsilva.com

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Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
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What is intersectional polyamory and how to find meaningful representation in the community? What is the impact of prescribed cultural identity on our relationships? How can we find and connect with online communities for support?

In honor of Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian to discuss how different parts of our identity impact the way we practice non-monogamy, how representation matters within polyamory, and the importance and the risks of online communities.

More about Michelle
Instagram @polyamorouswhileasian
Website: polyamorouswhileasian.com

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Can masturbation be an act of self care and political subversion? What are all the benefits of masturbation? If there are so many benefits of masturbation, why don’t we do it more? 

In this week’s episode Effy and Jacqueline have a lighthearted and wisdom packed conversation about masturbation in honor of Masturbation Month. They share their personal practices, beliefs and stories about self pleasure; explore the myths, social and religious conditioning about it, and put out a plea for a better sounding language for the topic.  

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Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

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Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What is the sexual Shadow? How does it affect our individual and collective sexual expression? What are some of the ways we can get to know our Shadow material and work towards integrating it?

In this week’s episode Effy explores the crossroads of Jungian psychology and sex with Dr Joli Hamilton. They take a deep dive into the sexual Shadow, the repressed, the unwanted aspects of sexuality. They discuss how — if it goes unexplored and unprocessed — this material impacts our collective and individual thoughts and behaviors when it comes to sex, affecting anything from legislation to our self talk. Effy and Dr Hamilton also celebrate the potential richness of this exploration as a way to deeply get to know ourselves.     

More about Joli
Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT (pronounced ay-sect) certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. Joli’s been featured in The New York Times, Vogue, NPR, and The Atlantic. 

She’s spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create non-monogamous partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.

Instagram: @drjoli_hamilton
TikTok: @drjoli_hamilton
YouTube: @drjoli_hamilton
LinkedIn: joli-hamilton-phd

Want the 5-step jealousy framework from Joli's research? Grab your e-book here. JoliQuiz is a great way to check in with how ready you are to explore opening up a previously closed relationship. 

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Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
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In a hypersexualized society, what is it like to be asexual? Do asexual folks have sex? Can asexuality be an important factor for female sexual liberation?

In honor of International Asexuality Day (April 6th), we revisit a conversation between Effy, Jacqueline, and journalist, editor, and the author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, Angela Chen. The three talk about the asexuality spectrum, its role in identity politics, and why Angela’s book helps those of any sexual orientation understand the role of sexuality in society and in their lives.

To learn more about Angela Chen, follow her on Twitter @chengela, on Instagram at @angelaetcetera, or via her website: angelachen.org.

You can find her book along with other recommended reads at our Bookshop store.

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Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
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What are the systemic factors that support rape culture? Why is it difficult for sexual assault survivors to find their voice? What does a journey towards healing look like?

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Danijela Steinfeld, a Serbian-born award-winning actress and filmmaker who is the director and producer of the documentary film Hold Me Right. The film explores the traumatic aftermath and healing process for survivors and perpetrators of sexual violence. Danijela shares the story of her assault and the journey towards finding her voice, and how she is working to eliminate sexual violence through a video game called Way Out.

Watch Hold Me Right: https://holdmerightfilm.vhx.tv/

Use code CURIOUSFOX for 30% off a 3-day rental of the film.

To learn more about Danijela
Danijela Steinfeld is a NY-based award-winning actress and an award-winning filmmaker, activist, and serial entrepreneur, born and raised in Serbia. The motivation behind the Way Out game came from her personal experience, being held captive and raped by a powerful politician, and from that harrowing trauma, her life's mission emerged. 

Danijela is the director and producer of Hold Me Right, a feature documentary about the traumatic aftermath and healing for victims and perpetrators of sexual violence, which also tells the story of her own traumatic experience. As an advocate and a public speaker, Danijela has been in the field of healing after trauma in a variety of roles and initiatives. Her main focus has been tackling root causes of rape culture, finding solutions and healing us all, as she believes we are all affected, directly or indirectly, by the epidemic of stigma when it comes to sexual abuse.

Instagram: @danijelastajnfeld
Twitter: @DaniSteinfeld_
LinkedIn: @danijela-steinfeld
Way Out: Game

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Is there Biblical scripture that condones or encourages sexual exploration? Why would God design bodies that experience pleasure if we are not supposed to pursue pleasure? Can faith and sexuality coexist?

In this episode, Jacqueline resurrects a conversation she had with Effy and De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar. They embark on an Easter egg hunt to find passages and scriptures in the Bible that talk about sex - not as a vehicle to hell, but as a beautiful, sensual, expression of joy and connection (marriage not required).

To learn more about De-Andrea 
De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar (she/her) is Missouri’s first Black AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and a supervisor for social workers seeking clinical licensure in the State of Missouri. She has worked in the field of behavioral health for over 15 years. As a graduate of Saint Louis University, she majored in social work and minored in theology before completing a Master of Social Work degree at Washington University in St. Louis. She sees herself as a catalyst for positive change, serving as a collaborator and co-facilitator in healing and enjoys the journey of working with her clients.

As the owner of Sankofa Sex Therapy, LLC, she works with individuals and those in all types of relationships and provides therapy from a Christian perspective when requested. She conducts workshops about sexuality, intimacy, and sensuality, and is a member of the Leadership Collective of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN). She also serves as a Facilitator with Theater of War Productions, completing two off-Broadway runs of the critically-acclaimed Antigone in Ferguson.

Instagram: @sankofasex
Website: sankofasextherapy.com

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