Past Potential with Khoi

I realized the power of owning a blog when in early 2017, after just a few months of blogging, I was invited to a PR trip out to Los Angeles, California. The weekend was hosted by Chevrolet and I was in esteemed company.

It was an all expenses paid trip—the flight, hotels, food, etc. I was skeptical and replied to the email with "what's the catch?" There was none. To me, that'd be living the dream. The next two days I was hanging out with Chevy executives talking about life as a publisher and life in general. We later road tripped from LA out to Joshua Tree and historic Pioneertown in the brand new Chevy Traverse SUVs. Work and play was never so much fun.

The experience was incredible. It was a full-on musical experience. I got a behind the scenes look of the production studios where the likes of Katy Perry and Bruno Mars recorded. I got to hang out at Spike Edney's house in the middle of the desert. He's the keyboardist for Queen, yes that Queen.

I found myself surrounded by giants in the blogging world. Site owners with 10s of millions of unique visitors a month, and then there was me with my I think hundreds a month at that time? To say that I felt in over my head and that they were out of my league is an understatement.

I was just getting started on my journey, my site wasn't getting any traction at the time, BUT and this is a huge but—I was invited. And they don't invite just anybody. I felt like I belonged. There have been many occasions that I wanted to give up on my blog, but after this trip, I realized that owning a blog is powerful. It's what separates me from all those other "influencers" out there.

And now, today. Blogging is changing my life, and I know a few years down the line, it will have changed my life for the better.

I flew back to Philly via the Palm Springs airport, having missed the Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl parade down Broad. #FlyEaglesFly, but I was already flying high.

Here is the content I created for the trip: http://bit.ly/2tjaB0V

I like blogging over any other social media platform because there are no vanity metrics involved with blogging. Unique visitors, page views, session duration, etc., are only visible to the site owner. And so there's no sway to create content based on what you think others want you to be doing.

From the outside looking in, there's no real way to tell how well a site is actually doing. That's not to say vanity metrics tell a whole story either, because they don't.

With blogging, I like the ability to fly under the radar. Someday when you "make it" people will say he was an overnight success, when in reality no one saw the behind the scenes and how much work and effort it actually takes to build something meaningful and self sustaining from the ground up. That's blogging for ya, with each post it's like you're planting seeds. You may not see the fruits of your labor now, but over time it grows and a bountiful garden awaits.

Stream of consciousness, let it flow. Let your creative energy be released. Your creative writing brain and your meticulous editing brain are two separate halves. You must focus on one first and then the other. Don't try to do both at the same time. It's possible, but you are then restricting your creativity. Don't try to self-edit during the initial creative writing process.

LET IT FLOW. 

Write now, edit later. Remember that. 

There's something to be said about the muse. The creative genius. The higher spirit or creative imagination....that is so very real. You have to open yourself up to it and allow for it to flow through you. It will come, but it starts with just writing. Get started, don't get stuck. Be true to who you are. Stop trying to copy and emulate others. That's great that you can tell what good writing is, but be stay true to your real voice. Don't get lost by trying to be someone else.

Get it all out first...make sense of it later. The process will be quicker, more streamlined and you will become better at both writing and editing.

Quick piece of advice today — Fail forward. Fail fast.

Apply the things you learn right away. Brain research shows that we retain more information when we either attempt to teach what we’ve learned or apply it immediately. If you read an article or watch a video without doing anything with the newly acquired knowledge, you’ll retain much less. 

This is because we learn via our mistakes. The more mistakes we make, the more ingrained the process becomes. Who cares if you don't really know what you're doing or think you don't know enough about a subject to talk about it.

The key to learning more is to take action, make mistakes, and fail. Don’t simply consume to consume. Anyone can do that. Consume to apply, to make mistakes, to fail — so that you can grow. Our failures will never define us, but they teach us the most. Learn from them. The most successful people discover that they failed their way to success. We all do.

No matter where you are in life, on your journey to whatever it is that you're seeking to accomplish there will always be those ahead of you. Those you admire and aspire to be like. There will always be someone on the next rung.

They're the blueprint. Mirror what they did to get to where they are. Learn from everything they did to get there. Great artists steal from many different sources. Do that, put your own unique spin on it. Slowly you'll start to find your voice. Keep going. Push through the resistance to create. No matter what, create every single day. Create more than you consume. Do the work. It's what professionals do, even when they don't feel like it.

It's a constant in life that never changes. Those above us, those below us. Learn from those above you. And when you get to a place where you feel confident in your own abilities...start teaching others. Lead by example. It's all you can do. You can't tell them where they need to go. But you can help guide them. You can inspire them. You can give them the resources and the tools to get there themselves.

What will you do on the next rung?

Document what?

You need to create something worth documenting. 

In order to be able to get to a place that people will even be interested in what you are documenting, you have to create something worth documenting. Whether it's a blog in the men's style niche or a YT channel teaching people how to grow their YouTube channel. You have to create first, document later.

That's the punchline. It's a fallacy to think that you can just start documenting today and people will magically start following you. You have to create first, document later. That's the steps to get the attention you want and deserve. It takes time. Gary is all about micro speed, macro patience and so It's important to be patient in creating. If you're good enough. If you're so good they can't ignore you, then you'll get people's attention.

So my advice to those in the trenches...keep creating. You can document later.

Now the key is to go fast. Put out a high volume of work. It's the best way to give yourself a chance to win big. The more at bats you have, the better your chances for a home run. The more pieces of content you put out, the greater your chances to go viral.

Go fast and don't look back. It's also a great way to keep momentum going and don't rest on your laurels. It's a good way to stay outside of your head and to keep the focus on what's ahead — what's the next target.

You won't have any time to reflect on whether or not what you did was good, bad, sucks, making an impact. The only thing that matters is you stay focused and go fast. This is especially important early on. It's all about volume and repetition.

This is how you're going to get better, by learning from each experience that came before. With every blog post and every video you will improve with each one, day by day. Go fast.

About the early stages of Gentleman Within

How I started on YouTube

How I'm creating my own lane

My thoughts on competition, 

5 tips on how you can start dressing better today

My goals moving forward and much more. 

If you don't know your worth then you will always charge too little.

You are worth way more than you think.

In fact, I recommend to charge more than you think you are worth.

It may feel uncomfortable, but in this game — you've gotta get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

You don't know what others are willing to pay you — until you test the waters.

It's a negotiation. Both sides are trying to get the best deal possible.

My advice is to reach for the stars and throw out your loftiest numbers.

Continue raising your rates until no brands are willing to meet you at that number.

Then you can go down from there.

But always, always, ALWAYS know your worth!

Don't let what others are charging dictate your rates.

I don't care if someone has 10x — hell 100x your subscriber base, and charges less than you do.

Know your value and what you have to offer.

And NEVER look at what others are charging or willing to accept when it comes to setting your own rate.

If a brand sees what you're charging and scoffs at you — pay no mind.

Because there are brands who will work with you because A. They have the budget and B. They see the potential value that you can bring. Those are the brands that you want to work with. Where there's a mutual understanding and respect.

Remember, as former First Lady of the US, Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

If someone tries to knock you down a few pegs by saying you're not worth that much, they're probably not worth doing business with.

You want to work with brands that respect you and know what you can bring to the table.

You want brands who will respect you even more because you know what you're worth and aren't afraid to charge as such.

Be unapologetic.

In the end, rates are not one size fits all.

Rates are fluid and dependent on perceived value that you offer.

And trust me, you offer a lot more than you realize.

Let me wrap this up by saying (I can't stress this enough) — Know your worth and approach every brand deal negotiation with that top of mind.

You owe it to yourself.

No go out there and make a deal that's worthy of your time and energy.

So earlier this month I was invited to speak on my first ever panel at the Small Business Summit in Old City Philadelphia. The topic was about making the transition into entrepreneurship. I was honored to be invited. I've gotta be honest, I've never been particularly good at speaking in public as I tend to freeze up and my mind just blanks. I don't know what it is, but it's always been like that since I was a kid. I've gotten better as an adult, but I'm still plagued by overthinking things with thoughts swarming that I end up saying nothing remotely close to what I intended. I feel really bad about how I presented as my thoughts were terribly scattered, incomplete and incoherent at times. To make things worse, I prepped for hours the night before. I just feel like I didn't provide enough value to the people in attendance. The event was this morning and I feel a need to get my thoughts out into the world. And so with this podcast I wanted to share some of my answers to the questions that were asked.