TURTZED

Patrick Custer: Navigating Religious Trauma and Addiction Recovery | Ep. 38


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Are you living in a prison of "black-and-white" expectations, or are you brave enough to embrace the gray? Navigating religious trauma and addiction recovery requires more than just stopping a substance; it requires untangling the deeply rooted fear and shame that dictate how we see ourselves and the world.

In this episode, Patrick Custer, host of the Rooted Recovery Stories podcast, joins Charles Turtz to share his journey from a rigid, charismatic religious upbringing to finding an authentic spirituality that saved his life. Patrick dives deep into how the "spotlight" he was once told to dim became his greatest tool for connection and why his identity as a gay man was the catalyst for his true spiritual awakening. 

How to Heal from Religious Trauma and Fear

Patrick discusses growing up in a high-control religious environment where "test and evaluate" was considered an evil influence, leading to a life driven by a capital-letter "FEAR." Healing begins by taking those internal "pedestals" down and giving yourself permission to not have all the answers.

Transitioning from Black-and-White Thinking to the Gray

The greatest struggle in life is often rooted in the illusion of control and the fear of the unknown. Patrick explains how "black-and-white" presentation—especially regarding alcohol and morality—sets people up for failure, whereas true reality and harm reduction exist in the gray area.

Finding a Spiritual Solution That Actually Works

For those who struggle with traditional religion, Patrick shares the simplicity of "shelving" old concepts to find a higher power that doesn't require absolute certainty. He details how surrendering the need for control allows for a more profound connection to oneself and the world.


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Disclaimer: The TURTZED Podcast reflects the opinions of Charles Turtz and his guests. Content is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for advice tailored to your individual needs. For the full disclaimer, visit our website.


  • 00:00 – The heavy topics disclaimer
  • 01:15 – The hidden reason why some people crave attention
  • 03:26 – Religion vs. Spirituality: The great divide
  • 04:49 – The "A through Z" trap of religious rules
  • 06:03 – Why challenging your faith was labeled "evil"
  • 07:49 – Inside the world of "slain in the spirit" Pentecostalism
  • 09:16 – The "perfect kid" who almost died from addiction
  • 10:44 – Why he had to "shelf" God to save his life
  • 12:15 – The permission to start over and rewrite the stone
  • 14:04 – Is it okay to feel far from God?
  • 16:22 – The diabetic metaphor for life-saving change
  • 18:58 – Why "absolute" parenting backfires
  • 24:50 – Does God need to exist for prayer to work?
  • 33:22 – The "Four Garages" fantasy that masked the truth
  • 40:18 – Isolation: The silent destroyer of quality of life
  • 47:45 – A life-changing message to a younger Patrick
  • 51:56 – The Starfish Story: Why the "one" always matters
  • 55:22 – Why perfection is the ultimate enemy of happiness


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TURTZEDBy Charles Turtz