Is your "unnecessarily large" reaction to a minor situation actually a sign of CPTSD? We often mistake emotional scars for personality flaws, but the truth is that your brain might still be trying to survive a past environment that never felt safe. In this episode, we peel back the layers of complex trauma to understand why we "shut down" when we should be speaking up.
Vincent Barbieri, a therapist and doctoral researcher, joins the show to dive deep into the mechanics of narcissistic abuse and the formation of the self. Vincent breaks down the "dynamic vs. water erosion" difference between PTSD and CPTSD, offering a masterclass in how relationship trauma distorts our identity and how we can finally start to grieve the parts of ourselves we were taught to hide.
How to Differentiate Between PTSD and CPTSDWhile standard PTSD often stems from a single "dynamite" event like war or an accident, CPTSD is like water eroding a canyon—a slow, repetitive process of relationship trauma that distorts your sense of self over time.
Understanding Rejection Sensitivity as a SuperpowerPeople with rejection sensitivity often have a "higher false positive rate" for sensing shifts in others, but when applied outside of personal stakes, this hyper-awareness can become a professional superpower for empathy and negotiation.
Why We Suppress Needs to Keep People CloseChildren born into environments without a clear "sense of self" learn to manipulate their environment by suppressing their own needs to maintain proximity to caregivers, a survival tactic that often develops into adult CPTSD.
The Role of Anger in Validating RealityIn the wake of narcissistic abuse, anger often acts as a tool to counteract the "self-delusion" and doubt sowed by an abuser, helping the survivor finally acknowledge their own reality.
Links & Networking- Vincent Barbieri
- Charles Turtz
- TURTZED
- For Coaching, Consulting, Advertising, or Press Inquiries inquire here.
Disclaimer: The TURTZED Podcast reflects the opinions of Charles Turtz and his guests. Content is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for advice tailored to your individual needs. For the full disclaimer, visit our website.
- 00:00 – The "Pause" That Defines True Vulnerability
- 00:24 – Why You Suppress Needs to Keep People Close
- 02:58 – The "Water Erosion" vs. "Dynamite" Trauma Model
- 04:32 – How Infancy Shapes Your Adult Sense of Self
- 05:48 – The Single Thought That Triggers CPTSD
- 08:42 – Why CPTSD Often Stays Hidden Until Adulthood
- 11:35 – Rejection Sensitivity: A Diagnostic "Spoiler Alert"
- 13:05 – The "False Positive" Reality of Reading Faces
- 15:18 – Fear of Negative Evaluation vs. Visceral Rejection
- 23:39 – What Inside Out Got Right About Anger
- 30:57 – The Antidote to Resisting Your Own Reality
- 34:15 – Why Self-Acceptance is "Heavy Lifting" for Gay Men
- 41:53 – How Narcissistic Abuse Distorts Your Daily Truth
- 45:10 – The Habit of "Packing Bags" Before You're Rejected
- 50:51 – The Ocean Gate CEO and the Danger of Self-Delusion
- 56:30 – Unlearning Modeled Behavior from Toxic Environments
- 58:26 – Why You Can't Feel Safe Until You Feel Unsafe
- 1:00:52 – Grieving the Child Who Went Unmet
