We get past the feels to discuss the bigger picture of Bryce Harper’s record-setting agreement with the Phillies. Nolan Arenado also breaks contract records this week with his 8-year extension with the Rockies. What do these deals mean for other superstars? Ronald Guzman adopts a condor and starts a trend. Pottymouth uses her “keep one boyfriend” card on Mookie “Pookie” Betts, and Patti owes her a Jackie Wilson tutorial after selecting Jackie Bradley Jr. for her Red Sox boyfriend. There was no doubt that Pottymouth would pick Lorenzo Cain, and Patti would claim Christian Yelich as Brewer’s boyfriends. You’ve met us, right? Patti says “Magnum, P.I.” Our special guest is “El Profe” Adrian Burgos from La Vida Baseball, who has our dream job. Mostly.