Pause. And Rewind...

“I feel like I’ve lived a hundred lives. With so much more to live!”

My guest for this episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ has covered A LOT of ground in her career in a multitude of roles across various industries. Yet I know - and love - her as a champion of inclusion & community and the Co-Founder of Bērytī, a Lebanese restaurant in Barcelona that not only celebrates Lebanese culture but also Queer Arabs in the city, providing a safe space for community, great food & fun!

Cindy Nehme (she/her) was born in 1985 during the civil war in Lebanon. Yet despite, and because of this, she recalls a happy childhood & explains how her mother shielded her from the fear & pain going on around them. When Lebanon was under attack last year, she’d have video conversations with her parents who were in complete blackout with air strikes going on in the background. “We’ve been through this before,” they’d say to her. She has the utmost respect for their faith & their resilience.

Little Cindy, at 6 years old, would go out early in the morning & return in the evening after a full day of doing the rounds visiting her neighbours. Her love of community shone through back then & she’s brought that Lebanese spirit to Barcelona with her. During COVID-19, Cindy & her team at Bērytī rallied around to support their elderly neighbours with collecting shopping & medication, helping to keep them safe.

As a teenager, Cindy describes herself as a bit of a troublemaker & still, even this with the aim of protecting those around her in many cases. Realising her queerness came later for Cindy & she shares how the first bit of representation she saw of two women kissing on TV was the faux lesbian band t.a.T.u with the video to their 00’ tune ‘All The Things She Said’. Their album being something we both confess to still listening to occasionally!

We explore Cindy’s early career, including some of the failures that have shaped her the most, through to her journey to establishing the restaurant in Barcelona with her Co-Founder & friend, Pamela - who describes as ‘her parachute’ with Cindy being ‘the jumper’. With the support of an ‘army of women’, they wanted to create a home from home. They never originally set out to create such a cultural hub that celebrates their love of Arabic language, music & queerness but an organic shift led to where it is now. “We dream, love & feel in Arabic” she beautifully shares when talking about why it’s so important to provide the space that centres its roots.

What started with knocking on doors with invitations through to now, Bērytī has been embraced by its local community in Barcelona & it’s beautiful to hear. Seriously, if you’re in Barcelona, you gotta pop in to see Cindy & the team for some delicious food & a great atmosphere! We also dive into the importance of humour, gratitude & paying it forward - all on strong display throughout. Enjoy!

As always, some of the topics we cover are challenging so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“I didn’t go home for a week. This is my tribe. This is where I’m supposed to be.”

This was my guest’s recount of the moment she met other LGBTQ+ people like her for the first time & the joy on her faces as she tells this story of pure affirmation. It’s a feeling I remember well, as would many queer people I’m sure.

Angel Maxine (she/her) is a prominent Ghanaian trans artist, musician, and activist currently based in Berlin where she recently relocated and she shares how she is taking her time to adjust & integrate into a whole new world trying to live as happily & peacefully as she can. Though she misses her home country & her community, she feels much safer without the fear & risk of attack. This is due to the rise of anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric & attempts to introduce a new bill into Ghana’s Parliament criminalising same sex relationships, identifying as LGBTQ+ & even supporting LGBTQ+ rights.

As Ghana’s first openly trans musician, Angel Maxine uses music and artistic expression as advocacy tools to amplify LGBTQ+ rights and create awareness about the challenges faced by marginalized communities, especially trans women. All of which is crucial right now as the queer community around the world rallies together to campaign, protest & essentially #KillTheBill.

I’ve been following Angel Maxine’s incredible work on social media for over 3 years so I was delighted when she said yes to appearing as a guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind… to find out more about her origin story.

‘Little Angel Maxine’ grew up in a religious home surrounded by love & acceptance for who she was by her family & her church. And though it was outside the home where she experienced challenges due to being different & effeminate, she always felt she had the protection of her parents along with their encouragement & support. When talking about how she felt about the world growing up, she would simply ask herself “why don’t these people see me as who I am?” From an early age, it is something she knew she would have to deal with for the rest of her life.

We explore her love of cooking & going on to become a chef - bringing her passion and love of singing & dancing to her work - as well as discovering her love of music, joining a band & the life-defining moment on stage that shaped the artist & activist we see today. 

Angel Maxine radiates grace, gratitude & warmth, online & throughout our conversation. She explains how grateful she is for her journey & everyone who has helped her one way or the other & encourages all to be themselves & keep smiling: “Your smiles can change the hearts of the wicked”. But through her lyrics, her message around acceptance is bold & unwavering. In one of her new songs ‘Nicely Nice’ from her upcoming album, she warns ‘be nice to me, or I will fight you”. 

She beams with excitement discussing her album, out in March, her freedom in Berlin & her community. We touch on the impact of colonialism on Ghana as well as its history of recognising different gender identities, her determination to provide hope & inspiration and how being your authentic self is crucial to thrive. It’s a wonderful conversation - enjoy!

Go check out Angel Maxine’s music, support her work & explore ways in which you can show up for & support the LGBTQ+ community in Ghana. Visit LGBTQ+ Rights Ghana for more info.

“I’m happy to fail. I’m terrified by the idea that I wouldn’t have given something an enthusiastic go.”

Joseph Galliano-Doig MBE (he/him) has carved his legacy & place in the LGBTQ+ history books as the man who founded Queer Britain, the nation’s first LGBTQ+ museum. And that statement above speaks to the person he is & his achievements.

That all sounds quite formal. I bloody love Joe! From jumping on board as a volunteer for Queer Britain in the early days of fundraising & working with him on virtual events during Covid, I’ve loved seeing his vision unfold as the museum opened. Witnessing him recognised for his commitment & seeing him shine - with an honorary degree & later an MBE. Of course, it’s also been an absolute pleasure getting to know him & forging a friendship.

And right now is an exciting time for Joe as he’s recently stepped down as Director of Queer Britain, a move that is packed with mixed feelings that was always part of the plan, to see what’s next as he looks forward to “inventing my future”. 

Joe shares a glorious anecdote about ‘little Joe’ running towards the sea that paints the picture perfectly for his approach to life, and the projects he’s undertaken. He discusses his early family life, the influence of his big brother & the impact of trauma. Describing his younger self as an ‘anxious optimist’ - which he still identifies with today, Joe was incredibly well-behaved. He recalls his earliest crush & a pivotal moment in school in which he felt seen.

As an adult experiencing a challenging time & with the help of therapy, Joe reflects on a specific ‘line in the sand’ realisation of ‘this is where it stops’. It was here when it actually all began & Joe’s career flourished as a writer & journalist that led to him becoming editor of Gay Times, as well as a publishing books & later, setting up Queer Britain.

“Life is much more interesting lived as a verb than a noun”. We can see that Joe clearly embraces this. We chat about his love of music, playing the guitar & poetry, the importance of seeing & uplifting others and his life with his wonderful partner, Mark. This was such a fun, insightful conversation to have so enjoy!

We do cover some challenging topics so please take care of yourself whilst listening. 

“You can’t really make change if you don’t know your own history”. 

My first guest for 2025 on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ certainly knows her history. And with February marking the 20th anniversary of LGBT+ History Month, now seemed like a great time to sit down & chat with one of its co-founders, Professor Emeritus Sue Sanders (she/her).

In 2005, Sue, along with Paul Patrick, launched the first ever LGBT+ History Month as a way of empowering & inspiring institutions & organisations to organise their own LGBT+ history focused events. That year, they saw over 100 events listed on the website. It continues to inspire thousands of events around the UK from panel discussions, lunch & learns & conferences through to celebratory events, drag shows & more and paved the way for similar & more recent initiatives & movements - something which Sue describes as “heartwarming as it’s what we’re all about”.

Sue is also CEO of Schools Out, an education charity founded in 1974 whose aim is to #educateOUTprejudice and make schools safe & inclusive for everyone. With Schools OUT also marking a huge anniversary this year, its 50th year, 2025 is a huge year for Sue & the small team of people who make this work happen.

Thinking back to those early days & the hostility faced by LGBTQ+ people, & shortly after with the introduction of Section 28, being part of such an effort to tackle homophobia wasn’t a smooth path to take. Sue & I discuss this in depth as well as the long lasting impact Section 28 continues to have on teachers, individuals & education today.

Sue’s origin story shows how formidable she is. Her early school life was tumultuous. She was essentially described as “illiterate on paper” until someone saw something in her which led to her finding her way & a sense of belonging, starring in plays, running the school magazine & entering poetry competitions. 

Sue’s career has been varied & vast. From an educator, therapist, broadcaster, director & writer in schools, theatres & women’s prisons through to some obscure sales roles (which I loved hearing about) selling everything from encyclopedias, fire extinguishers & wigs! All of which instilled in her the fundamental skills that have supported her legacy around building trust, likeability & influencing people.

Sue shares more about her rebellious side & later appreciation for the importance of rules. “Clearly I’m not somebody that should be in an institution which I learnt fairly early”. Though as an educator, her authoritarian but enabling approach held an insistence on giving space to others to find themselves - something clearly drawn from her own experiences.

We chat about Sue’s almost 40 year relationship with her partner, Jeanne, and the joy their relationship brings from working & writing together & Jean’s analytical influence. We also cover the devastating loss of some of the individuals who have shaped Sue along the way.

Sue shares her pride in coining the term ‘usualise’ which she describes as “a useful little word that has made a bit of a difference”, how intersectionality has been a core part of her work long before it became a DEI focus, her work with Scotland Yard & the Stephen Lawrence enquiry and the crucial importance of language. At 78 years old, I ask Sue whether she plans on slowing down anytime soon…  have a listen for the answer. I’m sure you can guess!

This conversation was a history AND life lesson packed with rich anecdotes, a-ha moments, glorious insights & a lot of wisdom from one of the UK’s leading LGBTQ+ change makers. You’re going to love this as much as I did - enjoy.

Please take whilst listening as we do cover some challenging topics. And visit https://lgbtplushistorymonth.co.uk/ for events, updates & great resources!<

“I am most proud that I know my worth in a way I didn’t. And that’s been something that’s been a concerted effort to build build my self-esteem, to build my self-confidence”.

My final guest of 2024 for ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ is someone who brings energy, laughter & passion into what they do & the world. It’s Woosh Raza (he/him). 

Woosh is a Human Resources professional who is embarking on an exciting journey. Woosh has decided to do his own thing having just launched his shiny new consultancy, Woosh Ltd - ‘a bespoke consultancy offering an extensive range of HR and ED&I support to help your organisation succeed’. Woosh lives & breathes DEI & any organisation would & should be privileged to work with him.

Like many other guests on this series, I know Woosh across a variety settings - mainly socially - and we’ve delved into many big life conversations so I knew this was going to be a brilliant chat as I learn more about him… & that I did. We talked about Little Woosh as a shy kid through to becoming the super outgoing Woosh we know today and around some of the complexities around that. The concepts of fitting in versus belonging play a major role in his story, from childhood to career & navigating the queer scene & social life.

Woosh shares how a health scare a few years ago as a result of over-working massively shaped him in terms of how he now feels about his career, how he takes care of himself these days & knowing what he brings to the table. He’s established a sense of belonging within himself that means he no longer seeks the external validation he once did.

We chat about our shared love & importance of fashion, his early obsession with Batman’s Poison Ivy - which also inspired his desire to be a botanist when he grew up - and why Rihanna is his biggest inspiration. Plus more more. The words he uses to describe him & his origin story are ’Loud. Energy. Solitude.’ You’ll hear why… 

Woosh is ready for 2025 as he gears up for “stepping into (his) power as a credible person” in his field. Check out his new website & sign up to his new newsletter too - he’s a great writer to boot! I personally can’t wait to see what’s in store - good luck Woosh & thanks for being a fab guest!

PS. Please take care of yourself whilst listening as we cover some challenging conversations.

Right now is an exciting time for this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind..’ Dr Jack Lopez (he/him) has just left his 16 year career in academia to go it alone on a ‘self-imposed sabbatical’. It’s a huge change and one that Jack is excited about - despite the niggling adult responsibilities to contend with. As he tiptoes towards 50, Jack is allowing himself to believe that anything is possible.

Jack has dealt with constant change throughout his life. Though the way he deals with it now is vastly different from his early years which he describes as ‘dramatic, consistent & fun… and never on the small scale!” He feels like he’s spent a lot of his life running up & down metaphorical mountains, often running away from himself, or searching for comfort. These days, Jack is comfortable in himself and any life changes are no longer not fuelled by panic. His need for change is something he now grasps more following his later life diagnosis of autism & ADHD.

Little Jack was an inquisitive child in an existential way. Jack describes himself as hyper vigilant in his early years & much more serious than he is today. He spent a lot of time alone, happy in his own company and he shares a brilliant anecdote that encapsulate this perfectly!

His teenage years were fraught. He experienced bullying and recognises now that this time was overshadowed by gender dysphoria which caused disassociation alongside a search for sensation through drugs & alcohol. As a result of struggling, Jack left school with no GCSEs. Which makes the fact that he now has a PhD in social anthropology even more impressive, though I was equally bowled over by the many careers Jack has had throughout his life - including being a dancer & choreographer at a theatre school, something which provided escapism as he got lost in the “pure soul of movement”, through to being a support worker, social worker, academic & DEI educator. His move into social work came from Jack’s frustration at seeing how things were being done & thinking he could do it better!

Jack’s attributes his education during his teenage years to his love of hip-hop, Black politics, literature, rock & grunge music which taught him about colonialism, racial injustice & history. Jack felt deeply and we dive into his striving for fairness & social justice. He uses the words ‘interested, inquisitive & persistent’ to describe himself & his origin story - all of which make total sense following our conversation.

We chat about Jack’s upbringing, his supportive family & home life where he’s raising four kids as a single dad. He shares his wish to use his endless vault of knowledge to support activists, how the classroom should be a place to dream about changing the world, his love of Mexico and what brings him joy during uncertain times.

We are putting a trigger warning on this episode as we cover the challenges Jack has experienced including mental health, substance use & other challenging topics so please take of yourself whilst listening.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” This quote from the 2009 movie Coraline is one this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ lives by. And it flows through his work, impact & origin story.

Olly Pike (he/him) is an illustrator, presenter, educator & all-round amazing human. He’s the Founder & Creator of Pop’n’Olly, his company committed to LGBT+ edutainment for children, parents, teachers & carers. With the support of a wonderful team, Pop’n’Olly creates videos, books & free resources that are used in primary schools across the UK & beyond to teach about equality & diversity and help to combat LGBT+ prejudice before it begins to form. So far, they’ve donated over 12,000 books to schools! And against a backdrop of anti-LGBT+ rhetoric, a recent statistic showed that over 80% of parents want inclusive LGBT+ education for their children - which means Pop’n’Olly are in demand for their tools, books & school visits.

Olly loves his role as a storyteller - one he carries out with a playful nature, passion, patience & a ton of energy! He started his YouTube channel about 12 years ago as a way he could tell his own stories and this inspired the books & what he’s doing now. During the podcast, he talks about how his author visits show how accepting & aware kids are. And how it’s the parents who are often one page behind them when it comes to their learning…

Olly’s stories are very much ones that Little Olly needed. As a kid, Olly loved drawing, dressing up & pink sparkly things as much as his other toys. Which was fine until school started and societal expectations & limitations around gender came into it. This lead to a lot of policing, filtering & editing by others & himself with his behaviour, movement etc… a common reality for many young queer people & one we’ve discussed on this podcast before. Shame is also a core theme of Olly’s origin story, from his younger years through to dance school and one we delve into during our conversation.

His experience of dance school left Olly with a lot of talent but not much confidence which he admits has taken him years to build up. We talk about Olly’s fantastic career as a performer and how he wouldn’t go back as he loves what he’s doing now with inspiring children, having fun & instilling hope in them when it comes to good prevailing over evil - again, ever the storyteller. Olly uses the words ‘playful, fantastical & brave’ to describe him & his origin story. 

Check out Olly’s books and how you can donate, support & get involved over at popnolly.com. His latest book, Have You Ever Seen a Normal? is cute AF! Plus with Christmas coming up, they make the perfect presents!

“What are YOU going to do about it?” This was the response this week’s guest was met with from his manager after sharing some startling results from a Stonewall workplace survey. This was the catalyst for a plethora of work, initiatives & impact that Deon Pillay (he/him) has become known for.

Deon is the Head of Technology, Enablement & Governance for Legal & General Investment Management. He’s also chair of the firm’s Diversity Network and outside of the work, he is the Co-chair of InterInvest, a network of investment professionals, which drives LGBT+ equality across the investment management industry and the Diversity Projects LGBT strand. It’s these latter roles that have seen Deon recognised with an impressive line-up of accolades & awards. And whilst they’re thoroughly deserved, it’s not about that for Deon. His focus is very much around giving back & being the change he wants, & needed, to see.

Deon grew up in South Africa during Apartheid. He recalls being considered a very kind, hard-working kid with a love of nature. There was a pressure to conform - growing up in an Indian family included a strict upbringing & feeling like you were a child of the community so there was a real fear of causing judgement on your family should you not behave a certain way. Though moments of challenging his father’s strict parenting shaped the person he has become.

Culture, tradition & later workplace fears play major factors in Deon hiding his sexuality for many years causing him a great deal of pain & emotional distress. It was an emotional piece to camera in the workplace around coming out & his own lived experience that brought Deon to the world of inclusion. Fast forward to today, he’s out & proud - and his work continues. “Nobody was there for young Deon that looked like me”, he shares which galvanises his efforts, sacrificing time & effort to do what he does, as well as highlighting the importance of visibility.

Deon is generous with both. “What does it cost to give back?” he states. We talk about his advocacy for equity as well as kindness & humanity, championing & empowering those around us and showing. And he recognises the impact that he’s having which was refreshing to hear and he’s more than happy to share why & how it’s doing so to show others how action can lead to positive change. Awards are nice but it’s when he has young Indian people reaching out that really make it worth it for Deon. He uses these three words to describe himself & his origin story: Curious. Supportive. Empathetic. All of which drives his allyship & determination.

Whilst committed to his efforts around DEI, he’s currently channelling his focus on his career in technology with particular interest in the impact of AI which we chat about. We also explore self care, the value he places on a growth mindset, the importance of calendar hygiene & spring cleaning our networks and the servant leadership he strives for. Oh & I get to meet Deon’s colourful pet parrot, Charlie, who brings him so much joy. There’s so many gems of wisdom in this episode - enjoy!

Please note: Some of the topics we cover during this podcast are sensitive. Please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“I turned 30 this year and it has been the biggest block for me in terms of the next part of my life. I gave myself until my 30th. I was like, do what you want to do and then, by 30, I think it'll be time. And I fully expected, one way or another, to step off my life at 30. And I'm here still.”

Those were heart-wrenching words to hear during my conversion with Ben Pechey (they/them), my wonderful guest for this week’s episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ But they’re actually packed with hope for the future, relief that they’re ok following a recent serious health scare & appreciation for their own hard work & legacy. A happy childhood up until around aged 4 turned into a relentless & prolonged experience of bullying until his late teens - something Ben has accepted but has left deep, emotional trauma. It was only at university studying fashion marketing where they found a sense of belonging. As well as their passion, determination & community.

Despite having zero plans moving forward, Ben feels privileged to still be here and committed to seeing how things go. I know I’m not not the only one who is grateful they’re still here…

Ben is an exceptional human who brings warmth, colour & authenticity to everything they do. They’re the author of two beautiful books - The Book of Non-Binary Joy and Your Gender Book - which provide education, guidance, support & love to non-binary, trans+ & gender non-conforming individuals & are written with such heart in Ben’s unique & nurturing manner & voice. I love Ben’s bitesize Queer History Lessons on social media - they’re edutainment at its best for informing us about LGBTQ+ history and their TedX talk on trans+ & non-binary joy is STUNNING. You should go watch it immediately.

As a writer, public speaker & content creator, Ben holds the audience close. And doesn’t let go. They use these to describe

This episode is hard to listen to in places as we cover a lot of sensitive & triggering topics, as mentioned, including bullying, mental health & feeling like there is no way out. Please take care of yourself whilst listening & take a break if needed. 

As much as there we navigate trauma, there’s also a lot of joy - and Ben’s work really emphasises the need to tap into that. We chat gender expression, fashion & event hosting, including Ben’s gorgeous exchange with Davina McCall on stage. Plus Section 28, Sesame Street & other cultural references, such as our mutual love of Scandal & Olivia Pope, and being the Lorraine Kelly of the trans+ community!

“It’s not been an easy journey but it’s a journey I’d do again in a heartbeat. I know why I’m here & I don’t think there’s a lot of people that can say ‘I know why I’m on the planet right now’. I do. And what a blessing to know that.”

This statement gave me chills during my chat with this week’s guest, Cynthia Fortlage, for ‘Pause. And Rewind…’. Cynthia (she/her) is referring to her mission to teach 1 billion people about acceptance by the year 2050 - which she describes herself as an “audacious goal”. And you’ll hear in the episode, she’s got the determination, passion & drive to see it through! 

Cynthia is Belfast-born, Canadian-raised and living in London right now. She’s a globally recognised gender diversity educator & consultant with a 30+ year background in tech. As a white lesbian woman with a trans+ history, Cynthia shares how she was a feminist activist before becoming an LGBTQ+ leader. She uses her C-suite leadership & personal lived experience, along with a love of storytelling, authenticity & creative approach to do what she does best - promoting the crucial notion of acceptance without understanding. She’s not afraid to be tongue in cheek or uncomfortable either and discussing how she operates in a corporate setting, she says ‘I’m the girl you can ask anything’. The most common questions relate to her relationship with her, now grown-up, children - which we also discuss. Having worked with over 500 organisations worldwide, her inspiring track record when it comes to her work & impact speaks for itself.

Her gender journey has been the most straightforward one she’s been on whilst the rest, Cynthia describes as ‘squiggly’. Cynthia is an open book during this conversation. We discuss her early life - from gender exploration, realisation & origins of her name to simply having ‘no idea how to be a man’ - and subsequently  how this led to years of mimicking & masking, personally & professionally. She shares how for over 40+ years, she thought she was a cross dresser until she discovered the trans+ community. Cynthia describes the first 28 years of her marriage as magical until she came out & could no longer be the person those around her wanted her to be. We dive into the grief, loss & freedom that came from that when suddenly she found herself living along aged 50 - including being able to share & accept love from those around her.

On top of all this, Cynthia is writing 4 books too, all part of that huge goal & plans for the future. She’s looking for a publisher too! “I’m aspiring to be someone that I’m still not yet. And that’s the journey called life”. This conversation was incredible. We do discuss challenging topics including suicide & mental health so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

Want to get in touch with Cynthia & work with her? Contact her via LinkedIn or visit: https://www.cynthiafortlage.com