Pearls of Wisdom with Ebony Sade

Companion post to today's Thrive video — the full build is linked at the end.

Have you ever reached the end of the month, looked at your account, and thought:

"Where did it all go?"

Not in anger. Not even in panic.

Just that quiet, tired confusion — because you worked hard, the money came in… and somehow it just went.

Here's what I've learned, friend:

Your money is already assigned.

Every dollar that came into your house this month went somewhere. It had a job. The only question is — who gave it the job?

Did you? On purpose, at your family's table, with your values in the room?

Or was it assigned by default — by the loudest bill, the quickest click, the busiest week, whatever asked first?

Because money that isn't assigned by decision gets assigned by drift.

💎 Pearl of Wisdom: Money without an assignment drifts. A budget is just giving your dollars their jobs.

The Most Honest Budget You Own

Before we build anything, try this with me — gently, no shame allowed.

Pull up last month's bank statement.

That statement is the most honest budget most of us have. It doesn't show what we meant to prioritize. It shows what we actually did.

If we say family comes first… does the statement agree?

If we say we're building something for the future… is anything actually being built?

If we say giving matters to us… did giving get a seat at the table — or just the leftovers, if there were any?

That's not condemnation, friend. That's information.

And information is where stewardship starts.

A Budget Is Not a Punishment

Somewhere along the way, the word "budget" started sounding like restriction. Like a diet. Like the fun police showing up for your bank account.

That's not what this is.

A budget isn't you tracking your money like a detective. It's you directing your money like a steward.

And here's the distinction I need us to hold onto:

The spreadsheet is not the budget. The decisions are the budget.

Excel doesn't know what matters to your family. It doesn't know what you're saving toward, what you're building, or what God has put on your heart to give.

You know.

The spreadsheet is just the table we sit at while we make those decisions — clearly, calmly, all in one place.

Five Jobs

In our house, every dollar gets one of five jobs:

BILLS → SPEND → SAVE → SEED → SHARE

BILLS — what keeps the house running. The commitments already made. Until we name them, we keep "spending" money that was never really ours to spend.

SPEND — everyday life. Groceries, gas, the ice cream trip with the girls. Yes, enjoyment has a job in this house — it just doesn't get to be the only job.

SAVE — protection and preparation. So the expenses we know are coming stop arriving like emergencies.

SEED — money that builds. Investing, learning, growing the thing God put in your hands. Remember: SAVE PROTECTS. SEED BUILDS.

SHARE — giving on purpose. Not what's left over. What's set aside first, because it matters.

Five jobs. That's the whole system.

Not twenty categories. Not a color-coded accounting department. Five decisions about what your money is for.

The Line That Changes Everything

At the bottom of the sheet, there's one line I watch more than any total:

LEFT UNASSIGNED

And the goal — the whole goal — is to bring it to $0.

Now hear me, because this is where people misunderstand:

$0 unassigned does not mean an empty bank account. It doesn't mean you spent everything.

It means nothing is drifting.

That cushion in checking? It has a job. The savings? Assigned. The extra toward a goal? Assigned.

So when $200 shows up unassigned at the end of your budget, that's not "extra money." That's a decision you haven't made yet — and if you don't make it, the month will make it for you.

Not broke. Assigned.

That's the peace this brings. Not a perfect month — a decided one.

Faith in Action

Proverbs 21:5 says, "The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty."

Planning is not a lack of faith.

Diligence is woven all through Scripture. Drifting and calling it trust is not the same thing as trusting.

Planning simply means we pay attention to what's already in our hands — and we take responsibility for it before life forces us to make rushed decisions with it.

Not perfection. Stewardship.

What Our Girls Are Learning

Our children don't need our account balances or our private obligations.

But they are watching what money does in this house.

They can learn that we have responsibilities. That we prepare. That we sometimes say "not today" because something bigger has a job to do. That we build. That we give — on purpose, not by accident.

Show the system, not the secrets.

One day they'll hold money of their own. I want them to already know: money gets a job in this family.

Your Turn — Don't Just Read This, Build It

This is the part where I don't want you to just nod and scroll.

Here's your move, this week:

1. Watch the build. In today's video, I start from a completely blank sheet and assign every dollar until nothing is left drifting. Fifteen minutes. Watch it once, and the system will click.

2. Get the template. I turned the exact sheet from the video into a template for your family — every section already built, every total already calculated. You will never have to write a formula or wonder which cell does what. You just type in your numbers and watch your money line up in its jobs.

👉 Get the Build the Budget template here:

Buy Me A Pearl

3. Assign until $0. Sit down — with your spouse, or with the Lord and a cup of coffee — and give every dollar a job. Not perfectly. Honestly.

Then come back and tell me in the comments: which job was the hardest to fund — Bills, Spend, Save, Seed, or Share?

I read every answer. And I promise, you're not the only one whose answer is what it is.

Family Field Question

At your next family conversation, ask:

"What's one thing our family is working toward that we could start giving money a job for today?"

Start with the purpose. Then give the money a place.

Your money already has a job, friend.

Today, you get to be the one who assigns it.

💎 Money without an assignment drifts. A budget is just giving your dollars their jobs.

Money is a tool. Give it a job.

New here? The Start Here post is the front door to everything at Thrive: https://thrivewithebonysade.substack.com/p/why-i-write-here-and-who-this-space

This Week on Pearls of Wisdom

How to Build a Simple Family Budget in Excel

In today's video, I'm building the spreadsheet from a blank Excel sheet using our five-part family money system — and assigning dollars until LEFT UNASSIGNED hits $0.

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/@ThrivewithEbonySade

And if you want to build yours alongside me, the template from the video is here:

Buy Me A Pearl

This week's theme is Build It. Track It. Steward It.

Today, we're planning where the money should go.

Friday, we're exploring what happens when a child's creative talent becomes a possible business opportunity.

And Sunday, we're looking at how QuickBooks can help track what actually happened in a business.

The goal is to connect the systems rather than treat money, creativity, and business as completely separate conversations.

Tools From My Planning Table

These are some of the tools I use every week for journaling, handwritten planning, Procreate, visual mapping, and creating the stewardship systems I share here on Thrive.

📓 Planning Notebook

https://link.amazon/B0e4Xiu7c

🖊️ Lifelines Scented Lava Gel Pen

https://link.amazon/B09PisHWs

✏️ Apple Pencil

https://link.amazon/B00joQQ0Z

📱 iPad Mini

https://link.amazon/B0gnIdXIg

🖥️ PaperLike Screen Protector

https://link.amazon/B07CWJ2hr

🎨 Procreate

I use Procreate to turn rough notebook ideas into visual Pearl Maps, teaching graphics, worksheets, and future Thrive resources.

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Money Tools We Use

These are some of the tools and platforms we use as we continue building better systems around saving, investing, organizing, and stewarding family money.

🌱 Acorns

https://acorns.com/share/?shareable_code=7WWBWW9&first_name=Ebony&friend_reward=5

📈 Fidelity

https://fidelity.app.link/e/d4UMtPPAB6b

💵 Ditch

https://ditch.onelink.me/dXfy/referral

Some of these links are referral links, and I may receive a benefit if you sign up through them. These are examples of tools we use, not recommendations for every household. Consider fees, risks, and your family's needs before choosing financial products.

Faith. Family. Structure. Stewardship.

One pearl at a time.

Until next time... keep thriving.

Pearls of Wisdom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Earlier this week, we talked about teaching our children how to earn money.

We talked about responsibility, creating value, developing skills, and giving children opportunities to understand how money works.

And I believe those lessons matter.

But today, I want to talk about the other side of that conversation.

What if one of the best things we can do for our children’s talents is not monetize them?

I know. That might sound strange coming from someone who talks about entrepreneurship, family business, ownership, and building something meaningful.

But I’ve been thinking about this lately.

Because I want our girls to understand that their skills can create opportunities.

I want them to learn how to earn.

I want them to see what it means to build something.

But I don’t want them growing up believing every gift God has placed in their hands has to become a source of income.

And something happened recently that made me think about this a little more deeply.

The Little Bee That Made Me Think

Recently, my daughter created a piece of bee artwork.

And when I looked at it, my creative business brain immediately started seeing possibilities.

That could become a sticker.

Maybe a printable.

Maybe something we could use in a future Thrive resource.

I could already imagine how we might turn her little drawing into something bigger.

And then I caught myself.

Because she hadn’t made it for a customer.

She hadn’t created it for a product launch.

She wasn’t thinking about a business.

She simply wanted to draw a bee.

That’s it.

And I found myself wondering:

When did we start looking at everything beautiful, creative, or useful and immediately asking how much money it could make?

I don’t think we always mean to do that.

Sometimes we see possibilities because we want to encourage our children.

We recognize their abilities.

We want them to understand that what they create has value.

But I wonder whether, without realizing it, we sometimes move too quickly from appreciation to expectation.

From:

“That’s beautiful. I love what you made.”

To:

“We should figure out how to sell that.”

And those two responses can teach very different lessons.

💎 Pearl of Wisdom: A gift can be valuable without becoming profitable.

When Encouragement Starts Feeling Like Pressure

Think about how often we hear these conversations.

A child draws something beautiful.

“You should sell your drawings!”

Someone bakes delicious cookies.

“You should start a baking business!”

Someone makes bracelets.

“You could open an online shop!”

And sometimes those suggestions are wonderful.

Sometimes they introduce children to possibilities they hadn’t considered.

But sometimes they also create expectations the child never asked for.

A hobby becomes a product.

Play becomes work.

Creativity becomes something that needs to perform.

And suddenly, something a child loved doing simply because it made them happy starts carrying the weight of someone else’s expectations.

I don’t want that for our girls.

I want them to have opportunities to earn money.

But I also want them to have the freedom to create something nobody buys.

To try something they’re not particularly good at yet.

To change their minds.

To make mistakes.

To practice privately.

To enjoy a hobby without wondering whether it has a market.

Because childhood should have room for exploration.

Not everything our children enjoy needs to become something productive.

Sometimes the experience itself is valuable.

Let the Butterfly Live

During Monday’s conversation, I joked that if your child draws one beautiful butterfly, we don’t need to have the LLC paperwork ready by dinner.

But there’s a real principle underneath that joke.

Let the butterfly live.

Let the child draw.

Let them experiment with art supplies.

Let them write stories nobody will ever publish.

Let them learn to sew, even if their first stitches are crooked.

Let them build something that falls apart.

Let them make something simply because they wanted to see whether they could.

We don’t need to turn every creative moment into a business opportunity.

And I think this matters especially in entrepreneurial families.

Our girls see us creating things all the time.

They see their dad making art.

They see me writing, working on publishing projects, and developing Thrive.

They see YouTube, books, business projects, and ideas becoming something tangible.

And I love that they get to experience that.

But I also want them to understand something important:

Not everything has to become a project.

Some things are allowed to grow quietly.

Some things are allowed to remain personal.

Some things are simply meant to be enjoyed.

Teaching Entrepreneurship Without Turning Every Gift Into a Gig

Earlier this week, we talked about our Family Earn Map:

CONTRIBUTE → EARN → MANAGE → BUILD

And I still believe this is a useful way to introduce children to responsibility, earning, money management, and developing skills.

But notice something.

Contribute comes before earn.

Not everything we do is supposed to lead to money.

Sometimes we contribute because we love our family.

Sometimes we help because someone needs help.

Sometimes we create because it brings us peace.

Sometimes we use our gifts to encourage someone else.

And sometimes we simply enjoy doing something.

I think we can teach our children both sides of stewardship.

We can teach them how to earn money.

We can teach them about ownership.

We can show them how businesses work.

And we can also say:

“This is something you can simply enjoy.”

Those lessons don’t contradict each other.

They actually create a healthier foundation.

Because if our children eventually decide they want to earn money from a skill, I want that decision to come from genuine interest and readiness.

Not because every adult around them keeps saying they should sell something.

There’s a difference between helping a child see an opportunity and making them feel responsible for pursuing it.

One encourages possibility.

The other can create pressure.

And Parents, This Applies to Us Too

I think this conversation is just as important for adults.

Especially those of us who are building businesses, creating content, writing books, developing products, or trying to make something meaningful from our skills.

It can become easy to look at every idea and immediately ask:

Could this become content?

Could this become a product?

Could I sell this?

Could this become another income stream?

Sometimes the answer is yes.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

But sometimes the wisest decision is to let something remain a hobby.

A creative outlet.

A family memory.

A private practice.

Or simply something we enjoy.

I’m learning that stewardship isn’t always about turning something into more. Sometimes it’s about knowing what deserves to remain simple.

And that’s a lesson I want our girls to see us practicing too.

Try This With Your Family: Gift or Gig?

Instead of creating another complicated system, I want to suggest one simple family conversation.

Take a notebook page and draw a line down the middle.

Write these two headings:

THINGS I LOVE DOING

Activities, skills, and interests your child enjoys simply because they enjoy them.

THINGS I MIGHT LIKE TO EARN FROM

Activities or skills your child might someday be interested in using to earn money.

Then let your child decide what belongs where.

Maybe drawing stays in the first column.

Maybe baking belongs in both.

Maybe sewing is something they’d like to explore as a future business.

Maybe they love singing but never want to perform for money.

And maybe they don’t want anything in the second column right now.

That’s perfectly fine.

Here’s the most important part of this conversation:

Neither column is better.

A gift doesn’t become more important because it makes money.

And a skill doesn’t become less meaningful because it never does.

The goal isn’t to get children to choose a business idea.

The goal is to help them recognize their interests, understand their options, and have a voice in how those interests develop.

Reflect & Lead

As you think about the gifts and talents in your family, consider:

* Am I encouraging my children’s interests, or sometimes rushing them toward an outcome?

* Do my children have activities they can enjoy without pressure to perform or earn?

* Have I turned any of my own hobbies into responsibilities that no longer bring me joy?

* How can I help my children recognize their abilities without making money the measure of their value?

Sometimes the most meaningful conversations begin when we stop trying to decide what something should become and simply ask our children what they enjoy.

Faith in Action

Romans 12 reminds us that we have different gifts and that those gifts serve different purposes.

I love that reminder.

Because not every gift has the same function.

Not every ability produces the same outcome.

And not every talent needs to become a business.

We can steward a gift by practicing it.

By sharing it.

By using it to serve someone.

By developing it patiently.

By enjoying it with gratitude.

And yes, sometimes by building something from it.

But profitability isn’t the proof that a gift matters.

A gift can be valuable because it helps us serve, connect, create, or bring joy to someone else’s life.

And I want our girls to understand that the abilities God has given them matter long before anyone assigns a dollar amount to them.

One Small Stewardship Challenge

This weekend, notice one gift or interest in your child that doesn’t need to make a dime.

Maybe they draw.

Maybe they sing.

Maybe they tell stories.

Maybe they love animals.

Maybe they’re patient with younger children.

Maybe they enjoy building things.

Maybe they’re naturally thoughtful and notice when someone needs encouragement.

Whatever it is, tell them:

“That is valuable.”

Not:

“That could make money.”

Just:

“That is valuable.”

And give them room to keep developing it.

No business plan.

No sales target.

No pressure.

Just encouragement.

Before We Close

I still want our girls to learn how to earn.

I want them to understand business, ownership, financial responsibility, and the value of developing useful skills.

But I also want them to know that their gifts are not measured by how much money they make.

They can be creative without becoming entrepreneurs.

They can learn without selling.

They can contribute without being paid.

And they can enjoy something simply because it brings them joy.

Because we’re not just teaching our children how to build income.

We’re teaching them how to steward their lives.

💎 A gift can be valuable without becoming profitable.

Let’s Talk at the Thrive Stewardship Table

What’s one thing you or your children love doing simply because you enjoy it?

I’d love to hear your answer in the comments.

And if you have children, consider asking them the same question this weekend.

You might discover something about them that you hadn’t noticed before.

✏️ Tools From My Planning Table

These are some of the tools I use every week for journaling, handwritten planning, Procreate, visual mapping, and creating the stewardship systems I share here on Thrive.

📓 Planning Notebookhttps://link.amazon/B0e4Xiu7c

🖊️ Lifelines Scented Lava Gel Penhttps://link.amazon/B09PisHWs

✏️ Apple Pencilhttps://link.amazon/B00joQQ0Z

📱 iPad Minihttps://link.amazon/B0gnIdXIg

🖥️ PaperLike Screen Protectorhttps://link.amazon/B07CWJ2hr

🎨 ProcreateI use Procreate to turn rough notebook ideas into visual Pearl Maps, teaching graphics, worksheets, and future Thrive resources.

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Faith. Family. Structure. Stewardship.

One pearl at a time.

Until next time... keep thriving..

Pearls of Wisdom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Have you ever asked your child to do something around the house and wondered when helping became something that needed a price tag?

“Can you put your shoes away?”

“Can you help with the dishes?”

“Can you clean up what you were using?”

Now imagine hearing:

“How much are you going to pay me?”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to negotiate a payment every time someone needs to put their dirty clothes in the hamper.

Some things we do simply because we live here.

We’re part of a family.

But at the same time, I do want our girls to understand how money is earned. I want them to recognize that money doesn’t simply appear in our hands without someone working, creating, serving, or providing something of value.

And that’s where I’ve been thinking more deeply about the difference between giving our children money and teaching them how money works.

Because the two aren’t necessarily the same.

This isn’t really about whether allowances are good or bad.

It’s about what we’re teaching our children through the systems we create at home.

💎 Pearl of Wisdom: Don’t only give children money. Teach them how money is earned.

The Allowance Conversation Is Bigger Than Allowance

Some families give their children a weekly allowance.

Some pay for extra chores.

Some provide money when their children need something.

Others introduce opportunities to earn through projects, services, or family businesses.

And I don’t believe every family needs to follow the same approach.

An allowance can actually be a useful teaching tool. A child who receives a predictable amount can practice making choices, saving toward a goal, and learning what happens when money runs out.

But earning money teaches something different.

It introduces children to the connection between effort, skill, responsibility, and value.

I think both lessons can have a place.

What matters is that we’re intentional.

Are we simply giving our children access to money, or are we also helping them understand how to manage and eventually earn it?

That’s the question I want us to consider.

1. Being Part of a Family Comes With Responsibility

One of the first distinctions I want our girls to understand is that contributing to the family and earning money are not the same thing.

We all have responsibilities in our home.

Mom contributes.

Dad contributes.

The girls contribute.

Everyone has a part in caring for the home and supporting the family.

Cleaning up after ourselves, putting things away, helping with ordinary household tasks, and taking care of our belongings are part of learning responsibility.

Not everything needs a financial reward attached to it.

And I think that’s important because I don’t want our children to grow up believing they should only help when someone is willing to pay them.

Sometimes you help because something needs to be done.

Sometimes you help because someone needs support.

Sometimes you contribute because you’re part of something bigger than yourself.

That’s family.

Of course, responsibilities should be appropriate for a child’s age and ability. Our children shouldn’t be carrying adult burdens.

But they can begin learning that they have something meaningful to contribute.

A family isn’t a collection of people waiting to be served. It’s a group of people learning how to care for one another.

And that lesson reaches far beyond household chores.

It shapes how our children eventually approach relationships, work, community, and responsibility.

2. Earning Money Begins With Learning to Create Value

Now, this is where I believe the conversation becomes exciting.

Beyond their ordinary responsibilities, children can have opportunities to earn.

Maybe they help with a special organizing project.

Maybe they create something.

Maybe they learn how to provide a simple service.

Maybe they participate in an age-appropriate family business activity.

Instead of only asking:

“How can I get money?”

I want our girls to begin asking:

“What can I do that would be useful to someone?”

That’s a different way of thinking.

Because earning money often begins with noticing a need and developing the ability to meet it.

Someone needs something organized.

Someone needs something repaired.

Someone wants a piece of art.

Someone needs help with a project.

Someone enjoys a product another person created.

And sometimes, people are willing to exchange money for that work, product, or service.

But before the income comes the skill.

Before the skill comes learning.

And before learning comes the willingness to try.

That’s something I want our children to understand early.

Skills Create Options

Our girls have opportunities to see different kinds of creative work happening around our home.

They see their dad create art.

They see me writing, proofreading, and working through publishing projects.

They’ve had opportunities to learn through their little Vinted project.

And we’ve been introducing them to the process of creating books and developing ideas.

I appreciate these experiences because they allow us to have conversations that go beyond simply telling our children to save their money.

We can talk about how something is made.

Why someone might want it.

What materials are needed.

How much those materials cost.

How long something takes to create.

And what happens when someone purchases it.

Those are practical lessons about money, creativity, and ownership.

But there’s something else I want to emphasize.

Not every hobby needs to become a business.

If your child enjoys drawing butterflies, we don’t immediately need to develop a logo, launch a website, and establish quarterly revenue goals.

Sometimes they just need to enjoy drawing butterflies.

And that’s perfectly fine.

The purpose isn’t to turn childhood into a business internship.

It’s to help our children recognize that the things they learn can become useful skills.

And useful skills can create opportunities later in life.

3. The Lesson Doesn’t End When They Earn $20

Let’s say your child completes an extra project and earns $20.

They’re excited.

They worked for it.

They have money in their hands.

Now what?

Do we immediately take them to the store and let them spend everything?

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying some of what they earned.

Actually, I think that’s important too.

I don’t want our children growing up believing every dollar must be saved and that enjoying money is somehow irresponsible.

But I also don’t want spending to become the only thing they know how to do with money.

That’s why we’ve been having conversations around our Thrive family money framework:

BILLS → SPEND → SAVE → SEED → SHARE

For adults, these categories help us think about responsibilities, enjoyment, preparation, growth, and generosity.

For children, the lesson can be much simpler.

SPEND — Enjoy some of it.

Maybe they want a book, a small toy, or art supplies.

SAVE — Prepare for something later.

Maybe there’s something they want that costs more than what they have today.

SEED — Use some to build or grow.

Maybe they want supplies for a creative project, materials for something they’re making, or an opportunity to learn a new skill.

SHARE — Practice generosity.

Maybe they want to give through church, help someone, or support something meaningful to them.

And as they get older, BILLS becomes part of understanding financial responsibilities.

We don’t need to overwhelm young children with complicated percentages.

We can begin with one question:

“What do you want your money to do?”

Because earning money is only the beginning.

Learning how to manage it is where another important part of stewardship begins.

4. The Family Earn Map

I wanted a simple framework that parents could recreate with their children without needing an elaborate reward chart or complicated allowance system.

So here’s the Family Earn Map.

CONTRIBUTE → EARN → MANAGE → BUILD

CONTRIBUTE

What do I do because I’m part of this family?

This is where children learn responsibility, teamwork, and service.

EARN

What extra work can I do, or what useful skill can I develop?

This introduces initiative, effort, creativity, and value.

MANAGE

What should I do with the money I receive or earn?

This introduces spending decisions, saving, preparation, and generosity.

BUILD

What can this experience help me develop for the future?

Maybe it’s confidence.

Maybe it’s patience.

Maybe it’s a creative skill.

Maybe it’s learning how to organize a project.

Maybe it’s a small savings goal.

Or perhaps, one day, it’s a business.

Notice that the map doesn’t begin with money.

It begins with contribution.

And it doesn’t end with money.

It ends with building.

That’s intentional.

Because I don’t want the only lesson our girls learn to be how to make a dollar.

I want them to understand how their abilities, decisions, and resources can be used wisely.

5. What Our Children Learn by Watching Us

Here’s another part of this conversation I don’t want us to overlook.

Our children learn about money long before we sit them down for a formal lesson.

They hear us discuss purchases.

They watch us make decisions.

They notice when we save for something.

They see how we respond when plans change.

They observe how we handle work, business responsibilities, and giving.

And sometimes, what they see teaches more than what we say.

If we want our children to understand that money is a tool, they need opportunities to see us treating it like one.

If we want them to understand saving, we can explain why we’re waiting before making a purchase.

If we want them to understand investing, we can begin with age-appropriate conversations about putting money toward long-term growth, including the risks involved.

If we want them to understand generosity, we can let them participate in thoughtful giving.

If we want them to understand work, we can show them what it looks like to complete something with care.

We don’t need to share every adult financial detail.

Our children don’t need access to account balances, debts, or private business information.

But we can share the principles.

Show the system, not the secrets.

That’s how ordinary family life becomes a classroom.

6. We Don’t Have to Raise Little Entrepreneurs

I think it’s easy, especially in families where creativity and business are part of everyday life, to become excited about what our children might build.

We see their interests.

We recognize their talents.

We imagine the opportunities they could have.

And sometimes we want to move straight into helping them turn those abilities into something bigger.

But I keep coming back to this:

Our children are still children.

They need time to explore.

They need time to make mistakes.

They need time to develop interests without worrying about whether those interests can make money.

And they need to understand that their value as people isn’t determined by how productive they are or how much income they earn.

I want our girls to develop useful skills.

I want them to understand responsibility.

I want them to recognize opportunities.

But I also want them to enjoy the process of learning.

Sometimes the best investment we can make in our children isn’t opening a business for them.

It’s giving them the time, encouragement, and guidance to discover what they enjoy and what they’re capable of doing.

Reflect & Lead

As you think about how your family handles allowances, chores, and opportunities to earn, consider these questions:

* Are we teaching our children the difference between contributing to the family and earning money?

* What do our children currently understand about where money comes from?

* Are we giving them opportunities to develop useful skills without pressuring them to monetize everything?

* When our children receive money, are we helping them make thoughtful decisions about it?

* What financial habits do we hope they carry into adulthood?

You don’t have to have every answer today.

Sometimes the most important thing is simply beginning the conversation.

Faith in Action

Colossians 3:23 reminds us to work wholeheartedly, as serving the Lord.

I think this is a meaningful principle to bring into our conversations about work and responsibility.

Not because Scripture tells us to pay children for chores.

But because the way we approach our responsibilities matters.

We want our children to learn that doing something well matters.

Helping others matters.

Being dependable matters.

Developing the abilities God has given us matters.

And those things still matter even when nobody is offering money in return.

Money is a tool. It isn’t the measure of our worth.

This week, ask God for wisdom as you teach your children about work, money, responsibility, and generosity.

Then look for one simple opportunity to put that lesson into practice.

Family Field Question

Gather your family around the table and ask:

“What’s something you already do to help our family, and what’s something new you’d like to learn that could eventually help someone else?”

You might be surprised by what your children say.

Listen to their interests.

Encourage their ideas.

And remember that not every idea needs to become a business.

Sometimes it’s enough to plant the seed.

One Small Family Stewardship Challenge

This week, take a notebook page and divide it into two columns.

WE CONTRIBUTE

Write down a few things each family member does because they’re part of the household.

WE CAN EARN

Brainstorm a few extra, age-appropriate projects or opportunities where children could earn money.

Then ask your child:

“If you earned $20, what would you want that money to do?”

Talk through spending, saving, seeding, and sharing.

You don’t need an elaborate system.

You don’t need a perfect chart.

And you definitely don’t need to create a family business by the end of the week.

Start with the conversation.

Because the habits we’re helping our children develop today can shape the decisions they’ll make tomorrow.

What I Hope Our Girls Remember

When our girls are older, I hope they remember more than how much money they earned from a particular project.

I hope they remember that they were part of a family where everyone contributed.

That they were encouraged to learn new things.

That they were allowed to create without everything becoming a business.

That they learned money could be spent, saved, invested thoughtfully, used to build, and shared.

And that their abilities were gifts worth developing.

I want them to know that they can create opportunities.

But I also want them to know they don’t have to turn every opportunity into income.

Because we’re not simply trying to raise children who know how to make money.

We’re trying to raise capable people who know how to steward what God has placed in their hands.

💎 Pearl of Wisdom: Don’t only give children money. Teach them how money is earned.

🎙️ This Week’s Pearls of Wisdom

How to Teach Your Kids to Earn Money Instead of Just Giving an Allowance

In this episode, we’re talking about the difference between ordinary family responsibilities, opportunities to earn, and helping children develop the skills and financial habits they’ll carry into adulthood.

Watch the episode on YouTube

If you’re new here, Start Here: Why I Write Here and Who This Space Is For.

You’re welcome at The Thrive Stewardship Table, where we’re learning to build more intentional families through faith, wisdom, and practical systems.

✏️ Tools From My Planning Table

These are some of the tools I use every week for journaling, handwritten planning, Procreate, visual mapping, and creating the stewardship systems I share here on Thrive.

📓 Planning Notebookhttps://link.amazon/B0e4Xiu7c

🖊️ Lifelines Scented Lava Gel Penhttps://link.amazon/B09PisHWs

✏️ Apple Pencilhttps://link.amazon/B00joQQ0Z

📱 iPad Minihttps://link.amazon/B0gnIdXIg

🖥️ PaperLike Screen Protectorhttps://link.amazon/B07CWJ2hr

🎨 ProcreateI use Procreate to turn rough notebook ideas into visual Pearl Maps, teaching graphics, worksheets, and future Thrive resources.

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

💰 Money Tools We Use

These are some of the tools and platforms we use as we continue building better systems around saving, investing, organizing, and stewarding family money.

🌱 Acornshttps://acorns.com/share/?shareable_code=7WWBWW9&first_name=Ebony&friend_reward=5

📈 Fidelityhttps://fidelity.app.link/e/d4UMtPPAB6b

💵 Ditchhttps://ditch.onelink.me/dXfy/referral

These are tools we use, not tools every family needs. Some links are referral links, and I may receive a benefit if you sign up through them. Saving and investing involve different considerations, including risk, fees, and access to your money. Choose what fits your family’s situation.

Faith. Family. Structure. Stewardship.One pearl at a time.

Until next time... keep thriving.

Pearls of Wisdom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

A simple family money system for getting recurring financial tasks out of your head without giving up oversight.

Have you ever realized how much of your family’s money system is living in your head?

Did I move the savings?

Did that bill get paid?

Did we set money aside for the goal?

Did the investment transfer happen?

Did I remember to move money where it was supposed to go?

None of those things seem huge on their own.

But when you’re already managing a home, children, work, business, appointments, meals, projects, and everything else family life brings, they become one more collection of things you’re responsible for remembering.

And I’ve been thinking:

Maybe good stewardship doesn’t always mean paying closer attention to every little thing.

Sometimes it means building a system that remembers the repetitive things for you.

That doesn’t mean ignoring our money.

It means deciding ahead of time what should happen repeatedly so we don’t have to keep making the same decision over and over again.

This is where stewardship meets real life.

💎 Pearl of Wisdom: A good money system should remember what needs to happen so you don’t have to.

This week in Pearls of Wisdom, I’m using a simple framework:

MONEY IN → ASSIGN → AUTOMATE → CHECK → ADJUST

Let’s walk through it.

💰 MONEY IN

Start by knowing where your family’s money is coming from.

For some families, that’s straightforward.

For others, there may be several streams:

Paychecks.

Business income.

Affiliate income.

Publishing income.

Creator income.

Investment income.

Side-business income.

Irregular income.

Before we tell money where to go, we need to understand what is actually coming in and when.

This doesn’t need to become an elaborate spreadsheet.

Start with a notebook.

Write:

MONEY IN

Then list the regular ways money enters your household.

Sometimes simply getting the information out of your head and onto paper makes the next step much easier.

✏️ ASSIGN

This part happens before we automate anything.

Because automation without intention is just money moving around.

First, we decide:

What do we want this money to do?

We’ve been using another simple Thrive framework for this:

BILLS → SPEND → SAVE → SEED → SHARE

BILLS take care of our responsibilities.

SPEND gives us room to use and enjoy some of our money.

SAVE prepares us for what’s ahead.

SEED helps us build something—a business, investment, skill, project, or opportunity.

SHARE creates room for generosity.

Your percentages don’t have to look like another family’s.

That’s not the point.

The important part is deciding what the money is responsible for before everything starts competing for it.

⚙️ AUTOMATE

Now we get to ask one of my favorite questions:

Which decisions can the system make for us?

Think about the things you do repeatedly.

Paying the same bill.

Moving money into savings.

Adding money to a sinking fund.

Making an investment contribution.

Setting aside money for a family goal.

Recurring giving.

If you’ve already decided that something should happen every month, ask whether you really need to manually make that decision twelve times a year.

Maybe you don’t.

But here’s the part I want to emphasize:

Don’t automate everything this weekend.

Start with one predictable, repetitive task.

Maybe it’s a $25 savings transfer.

Maybe it’s one bill.

Maybe it’s an investment contribution.

Maybe it’s money you’re setting aside for something your family is building.

Set up one thing.

Make sure it works.

Then build from there.

Simple systems are much easier to maintain than complicated systems we abandon two weeks later.

👀 CHECK

Automation doesn’t mean:

“Set it and forget it forever.”

We’re still responsible for knowing what’s happening with our money.

Bills change.

Income changes.

Subscriptions increase.

Family goals change.

Businesses have different seasons.

Life happens.

The goal is to change our role from:

constantly moving the money

to:

regularly reviewing the system.

Maybe that’s a quick weekly check.

Maybe your family sits down twice a month.

Maybe you have a more thorough monthly money meeting.

Choose a rhythm you can actually maintain.

Automation handles the repetition.

You still provide the judgment.

🔄 ADJUST

This may be one of the most important pieces.

A system that worked for your family six months ago may not work today.

And that’s okay.

Maybe income increased.

Maybe income decreased.

Maybe you’re paying something off.

Maybe you’re preparing for a trip.

Maybe your child started a new activity.

Maybe you’re investing more heavily in the family business.

Maybe you’ve reached a savings goal and that money now needs another assignment.

The answer isn’t necessarily to throw away the system.

Change the instructions.

That’s why this isn’t a straight line that ends at ADJUST.

It’s a rhythm:

MONEY IN → ASSIGN → AUTOMATE → CHECK → ADJUST ↻

Then you go around again as your family grows.

🎨 This Week’s Pearl Map

This is the framework I’m turning into this week’s Procreate Pearl Map:

💰 MONEY IN↓✏️ ASSIGN↓⚙️ AUTOMATE↓✓ CHECK↓↻ ADJUST

And underneath it:

Let the system carry the repetition. Let the family provide the wisdom.

I love this because it started as the kind of thing I would scribble into my notebook—words, arrows, little symbols—and now it can become something our family can actually see and use.

That’s part of what I’m building here at Thrive:

ONE PEARL → ONE VISUAL → ONE TEACHING → ONE TOOL

Create it once.

Steward it further.

🏡 Why This Is About More Than Paying Bills

This is where Legacy Stewardship enters the conversation.

I don’t only want our girls to inherit money someday.

I want them to understand what to do with money when it reaches their hands.

How do I assign it?

How do I prepare?

How do I save?

How do I invest?

How do I give?

How do I build something?

How do I know when the system needs to change?

Those are skills they can carry long after they leave our home.

Sometimes the legacy isn’t only the asset.

It’s the system and wisdom you teach alongside it.

📝 Reflect & Lead

Take a few minutes with your notebook and ask:

* What financial task do I keep trying to remember?

* Which money decision am I making repeatedly that could be made once?

* Which part of BILLS → SPEND → SAVE → SEED → SHARE could safely be automated?

* What should remain manual because it requires our attention or judgment?

* What money system do I want our children to understand before they leave home?

Don’t turn this into a complete financial overhaul.

Look for one place where structure could create more peace.

🏡 Family Stewardship Challenge

This week:

Don’t automate ten things.

Automate one.

Ask yourself:

“What money task do I keep trying to remember that could safely happen automatically?”

Choose one.

Set it up.

Then—and this part matters—schedule when you’ll review it.

We’re not trying to build a complicated financial machine.

We’re building a system that helps us steward what we have without carrying every recurring task in our heads.

📖 Faith in Action

Before changing anything, pray over your family’s finances.

Ask God for wisdom about what needs your attention and what simply needs better structure.

Then take one faithful next step.

It doesn’t have to be dramatic to matter.

Sometimes stewardship looks like making one wise decision today that your future self won’t have to remember tomorrow.

🎥 Watch This Week’s Pearls of Wisdom

If you’d like to hear the full conversation, this week’s Pearls of Wisdom episode is:

How to Automate Your Family Finances So You Stop Managing Everything Manually

[WATCH ON YOUTUBE →]

🌿 Start Here With Thrive

New here?

Start with Thrive:Why I Write Here—and Who This Space Is For

Thrive is where we’re learning to steward faith, family, home, money, business, creativity, experiences, and legacy with a little more intention and a lot less pressure.

You’re welcome to pull up a seat at the Thrive Stewardship Table.

✏️ Tools From My Planning Table

These are some of the tools I use to get ideas out of my head, map our systems, and turn those rough thoughts into something useful.

📓 Planning NotebookPlanning Notebook

✒️ Kakuno Fountain PenKakuno Fountain Pen

✏️ Apple PencilApple Pencil

📱 iPad MiniiPad Mini

🖥️ PaperLike Screen ProtectorPaperLike Screen Protector

🎨 ProcreateI use Procreate to turn my notebook sketches into visual notes, Pearl Maps, family stewardship systems, and future Thrive resources.

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.

💰 Money Tools We Use

🌱 AcornsAcorns

📈 FidelityFidelity

These are tools we use in our own money system, not a requirement for building yours. Start with the banking and automation tools you already have.

Faith. Family. Structure. Stewardship.

One pearl at a time.

Until next time… keep thriving.

Pearls of Wisdom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Have you ever told yourself:

“This month, I’m going to save that money.”

And you meant it.

Then life happened.

A grocery run cost more than expected.

Someone needed something.

You grabbed dinner because the day got away from you.

You saw something online that would be really useful.

A few small purchases came out.

Then you checked the account and thought:

Wait… where did the money go?

I know that feeling.

And I don’t think the answer is always that we’re terrible with money or need to stop spending everything.

Sometimes the problem happens before we spend anything at all.

We never gave the money clear instructions.

We knew we wanted to “save more.”

But the money was still sitting there looking available.

And available money has a funny way of finding something to do. 😂

This is where stewardship meets real life.

I’m learning that if we want to stop spending the money we meant to save, we need to decide what our money is responsible for before everything starts competing for it.

That’s why I’ve been thinking about five simple places for our money:

BILLS → SPEND → SAVE → SEED → SHARE

Not because every family needs the same percentages.

Not because I think there is one perfect budgeting formula.

But because I want our family—especially our girls—to understand:

Money needs direction.

💎 Pearl of Wisdom: Give your money a job before life gives it one for you.

BILLS — Take Care of What You’re Responsible For

Before we talk about saving, investing, giving, or enjoying money, there are responsibilities sitting in front of us.

Housing.

Utilities.

Insurance.

Groceries.

Transportation.

Household needs.

Those things aren’t particularly exciting.

Nobody is posting:

Woohoo! Paid the electric bill! 😂

But this is stewardship too.

BILLS represent the things we’ve already committed to taking care of.

And I want our girls to understand that money isn’t only about what we want.

Part of managing money well is learning to take care of what has already been placed in our hands.

Try this:

Before deciding what you have available to spend, identify what the money is already responsible for.

That number isn’t really available money.

It already has a job.

SPEND — Enjoy Some of It on Purpose

I don’t want our children growing up believing that good money management means:

Never spend anything.

Money can be enjoyed.

Dinner out.

Books.

Art supplies.

A family experience.

Something for the house.

A little treat just because.

That’s why SPEND belongs in the system.

The issue isn’t that we spend money.

The problem comes when SPEND starts stealing from all the other categories.

That $40 purchase might seem harmless.

And maybe it is.

But if the $40 came from money we already decided was for Christmas, an emergency fund, a business project, or something else we’re preparing for, then we didn’t simply spend $40.

We reassigned money that already had a job.

That’s a different conversation.

Try this:

Give yourself some money that is actually allowed to be spent.

Then you don’t have to feel guilty every time you enjoy something.

You know:

This money was given the job of SPEND.

SAVE — Stop Saving Whatever Is Left

This may be the biggest shift.

A lot of us have probably said:

“I’ll save whatever is left at the end of the month.”

Then the end of the month arrives.

And apparently the money received other instructions. 😂

That’s why I’m becoming much more interested in saving before spending gets the opportunity to claim everything.

Emergency fund.

Christmas.

Family trip.

Home repair.

Future purchase.

Whatever you’re preparing for.

Give it a name.

Because:

“I’m saving $100”

doesn’t feel quite the same as:

“This $100 is for our emergency fund.”

The amount hasn’t changed.

But now the money has an assignment.

Try this:

Choose one savings goal.

Not ten.

Give it a name.

Choose an amount.

And, if possible, move it somewhere separate from everyday spending.

Because if tomorrow’s money keeps sitting beside today’s spending money, we’re asking ourselves to keep making the same decision over and over again:

Don’t touch it.

Structure can make that decision easier.

SEED — Some Money Should Build Something

This is one of my favorite conversations to have with our girls.

Not every dollar needs to be consumed.

Some dollars can be planted.

A book.

A business idea.

Education.

A skill.

Supplies.

Equipment.

A creative project.

An investment.

Something that could create value later.

That’s SEED money.

And this matters deeply to me because I want our girls to understand the difference between:

buying something

and

building something.

Sometimes both require spending money.

But they’re not necessarily doing the same job.

Buying another item might give us something today.

Putting money toward a skill, tool, business, book, or asset may help us create something tomorrow.

That doesn’t mean every business purchase is automatically wise.

Seeds still have to be planted carefully.

Try this:

Before making a purchase connected to something you’re building, ask:

“What is this money supposed to help grow?”

If you can’t answer that clearly, maybe it isn’t SEED money yet.

SHARE — Leave Room for Generosity

Then there’s another job I don’t want us to forget:

SHARE.

Giving.

Helping.

Supporting meaningful work.

Blessing someone.

Meeting a need when we’re able.

I don’t want our girls to believe the goal of money management is simply:

Get as much as possible and keep as much as possible.

Stewardship asks a bigger question:

What can we do with what has been placed in our hands?

Sometimes the answer is provide.

Sometimes prepare.

Sometimes build.

Sometimes enjoy.

And sometimes we get to help someone else.

Try this:

Let generosity become something your children actually see.

It doesn’t have to be a huge amount.

Let them participate in choosing something your family can give, support, or share.

We’re not only teaching them what money can buy.

We’re teaching them what money can do.

So How Does This Help Us Stop Spending Our Savings?

This is where the five jobs come together.

Imagine $1,000 comes into your household.

Without a plan, your brain sees:

$1,000 available.

But once you give that money instructions, you see something completely different:

BILLS → this portion already belongs to our responsibilities.

SPEND → this portion is available to enjoy.

SAVE → this portion belongs to something we’re preparing for.

SEED → this portion is helping us build something.

SHARE → this portion has been set aside for generosity.

Now when you’re tempted to pull $50 out of savings, the question isn’t simply:

“Do I have $50?”

The better question becomes:

“Which job am I taking this $50 away from?”

That’s powerful.

Because sometimes the answer may still be:

Yes. We need to move the money.

Life happens.

Priorities change.

Emergencies happen.

A family budget should be able to respond to real life.

But now you’re making an intentional reassignment instead of wondering at the end of the month where everything went.

That’s stewardship.

“Not Now” Is a Money Decision Too

There’s one more phrase I want our girls to become comfortable hearing:

Not now.

Not:

“We can’t afford it.”

when we actually can.

Not:

“We never get anything.”

Not:

“Money is too tight.”

Sometimes we have the money.

We simply gave it another job.

That means we can say:

“Yes, we technically have enough money to buy that. But that money is helping us prepare for something else, so we’re choosing not to buy it right now.”

I love the lesson inside that.

Having money doesn’t require spending it.

And being able to buy something doesn’t automatically make buying it the wisest decision.

Sometimes stewardship looks like enjoying.

Sometimes stewardship looks like investing.

Sometimes stewardship looks like giving.

And sometimes stewardship simply sounds like:

Not now.

Reflect & Lead

Take a few minutes this week and ask yourself:

* Which receives the most attention in our home right now: BILLS, SPEND, SAVE, SEED, or SHARE?

* Which one tends to get whatever is left?

* What money have we said we’re saving without giving it a specific purpose?

* What are we currently trying to build that may deserve some SEED money?

* Where could a simple “not now” protect something we’ve already decided matters?

Don’t use these questions to judge where your family is.

Different seasons require different things.

A family rebuilding after a difficult season may need most of its money going toward BILLS.

Another family may finally be rebuilding SAVE.

Another may have room to SEED a family business.

Another may be learning to SHARE more intentionally.

The goal isn’t identical percentages.

The goal is knowing what you’re asking your money to do.

Faith in Action

Before your next money decision, take a moment to pray for wisdom.

James 1:5 reminds us that if we lack wisdom, we can ask God.

Then look at:

BILLS → SPEND → SAVE → SEED → SHARE

Choose the area that needs more intentionality in your family right now.

Don’t overhaul your entire financial life this weekend.

Choose one faithful next step.

Maybe that’s moving $25 into savings.

Maybe it’s paying something you’ve been putting off.

Maybe it’s choosing not to make a purchase.

Maybe it’s putting a small amount toward a business idea.

Maybe it’s giving.

Small decisions still count.

Family Field Question

Put these five words in front of your family:

BILLS → SPEND → SAVE → SEED → SHARE

Then ask:

“If $100 came into our family today, how could we divide it between these five jobs?”

There doesn’t have to be one correct answer.

Listen to how your children think.

Ask them why.

You may end up having a much richer money conversation than if you simply told them:

“You need to save your money.”

Because we’re not only trying to raise children who know how to save.

We’re trying to raise children who know how to think about what money is for.

One Small Step

Before this week ends, take one amount of money you intended to save and give it three things:

A name.A job.A place to live.

Then when you’re tempted to spend it, don’t only ask:

“Can I afford this?”

Ask:

“What job does this money already have?”

That one question may be enough to change the decision.

💎 Pearl of Wisdom: Give your money a job before life gives it one for you.

Keep Growing With Me

This week’s Pearls of Wisdom episode is:

How to Stop Spending the Money You Meant to Save

And yes, the thumbnail says exactly what some of us need to hear:

STOP SPENDING IT. 😂

But the conversation is about more than telling ourselves no.

We’re talking about how to create enough structure around our money that BILLS, SPEND, SAVE, SEED, and SHARE each have somewhere to belong.

If you’d like to hear the full conversation, the Pearls of Wisdom episode is linked below.

[WATCH THE EPISODE]

Free Quarterly Stewardship Guide

If you’re working on bringing more structure to your family’s home, money, business, creativity, and everyday responsibilities, the free quarterly Thrive Stewardship Guide gives you a practical place to begin.

[GET THE FREE GUIDE]

The Thrive Stewardship Table

If you want to go deeper with practical family systems, the paid Thrive Stewardship Table includes one monthly toolkit, PDF/resource, short teaching, implementation prompt, and access to the growing resource library.

No pressure to add more to your plate.

The Table is there when you’re ready to move from “I understand the idea” to “Let’s actually put this into practice.”

[JOIN THE THRIVE STEWARDSHIP TABLE]

Tools From My Planning Table

These are some of the tools I use every week for journaling, handwritten planning, Procreate, visual mapping, and creating the family stewardship systems I share here on Thrive with Ebony.

📓 Planning Notebookhttps://link.amazon/B0e4Xiu7c

✒️ Kakuno Fountain Penhttps://link.amazon/B0gVp4QGs

✏️ Apple Pencilhttps://link.amazon/B00joQQ0Z

📱 iPad Minihttps://link.amazon/B0gnIdXIg

🖥️ PaperLike Screen Protectorhttps://link.amazon/B07CWJ2hr

🎨 ProcreateI use Procreate for visual notes, money maps, family systems, digital planning, and turning stewardship lessons into something we can actually see and use.

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.

💰 Money Tools We Use

These are a few of the tools our family uses as we continue learning about saving, investing, building, and giving money direction.

🌱 Acornshttps://acorns.com/share/?shareable_code=7WWBWW9&first_name=Ebony&friend_reward=5

📈 Fidelityhttps://fidelity.app.link/e/d4UMtPPAB6b

Faith. Family. Structure. Stewardship.

One pearl at a time.

Until next time… Keep thriving.

Pearls of Wisdom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

One of the easiest questions to ask when money comes into our hands is:

“What can we buy?”

I get it. Adults do this too.

When we get some extra money, we start thinking about our Amazon cart, something we’ve been putting off, going out to eat, starting a new project, or buying something the kids want.

But as our girls grow up, I realize I want to teach them more than just how to spend money.

I want them to learn how to think about money.

So now, I’m trying to bring a new question into our home:

“What do we want this money to do?”

Asking this question changes how we talk about money.

Because money is a tool.

And like any tool, we need to decide what job we want it to do.

This is where stewardship becomes part of everyday life.

💎 Pearl of Wisdom: Before you decide where money should go, think about what you need it to do.

Money Can Provide

Some money needs to cover today.

Food.

Housing.

Utilities.

Transportation.

Clothing.

Household needs.

These are the everyday things that keep our family going.

I want our girls to see that this isn’t the “boring” side of money.

Providing is one of money’s most important jobs.

It’s valuable to look around your home and realize that groceries, electricity, school supplies, gas, and everything else all take resources.

These things might not be as exciting as opening a new package, but they’re part of taking care of a family.

That’s part of stewardship too.

Money Can Prepare

Some money isn’t meant to be used right away.

This can be a hard lesson for both kids and adults.

Sometimes the best job we can give a dollar is:

Wait.

Wait for an emergency.

Wait for a future purchase.

Wait for an opportunity.

Wait because we don’t know what we’ll need yet.

Preparing shows us that having money set aside can sometimes be more valuable than spending it right away.

We’re not only asking:

“Can we afford this today?”

We’re also learning to ask:

“What might we need to be ready for tomorrow?”

This is where patience becomes part of managing money well.

Money Can Build

This is something I especially want to teach our girls.

Money can help create more than a purchase.

It can help build something.

Maybe that’s buying supplies for a small family project.

Investing in a skill.

Buying materials to create something they can eventually sell.

Purchasing a tool that helps someone do their work better.

Supporting education.

Or putting resources toward something the family wants to grow over time.

This is where I hope our girls start to see money in a new way.

A dollar doesn’t always have to turn into things.

Sometimes it can be like planting a seed.

Part of being wise is learning which seeds are worth planting.

Money Can Give

I don’t want our talks about money to focus so much on building wealth that we forget about being generous.

Money can help somebody else.

It can support a person.

Meet a need.

Bless someone quietly.

Support meaningful work.

Contribute to something we believe in.

Giving reminds us that money is something we manage, not something that should control our hearts.

And we don’t have to wait until we have a lot to be generous.

We can practice it with what we already have.

Money Can Enjoy

And yes, money can be enjoyed too.

I think it’s important for our girls to learn this as well.

Not every dollar needs to be about sacrifice.

Sometimes money pays for ice cream.

Sometimes it helps us take a family trip.

Sometimes it buys the art supplies simply because creating brings joy.

Sometimes it lets us celebrate.

Sometimes we save for something because we really want it.

Enjoying money doesn’t mean you’re being irresponsible.

The real question is whether enjoyment has become the only thing we use money for.

There’s a difference between enjoying what we have and expecting every dollar to give us something right away.

The Math Matters. But So Does the Conversation.

Of course, our children eventually need to understand numbers.

Income.

Expenses.

Saving.

Percentages.

Interest.

Debt.

Investing.

All of that matters.

But talking about money as a family isn’t just about math.

It’s also about our priorities.

Timing.

Patience.

Generosity.

Preparation.

Wisdom.

And what we’re trying to build together.

Two families could get the same amount of money and make totally different choices with it—not just because one is better at math, but because they’re asking their money to do different things.

That’s why I want our girls to learn the thinking behind the numbers.

Reflect & Lead

Think about the money flowing through your family right now.

Not what you wish you had.

Start with what is actually in your hands.

Ask yourself:

* Which job is most of our money doing right now?

* Are we providing for today while also preparing for tomorrow?

* Are we intentionally using any of our resources to build?

* Do both generosity and enjoyment show up in our family?

* Do our children understand why we make certain money decisions, or do they only hear yes and no?

You don’t have to make this a formal financial lesson.

It can all start with just one conversation.

Faith in Action

Before your family makes the next non-routine money decision, pray for wisdom before deciding what to do.

Then ask:

What does our family need this money to do right now?

Maybe the answer is provide.

Maybe it’s prepare.

Maybe it’s build.

Maybe it’s give.

Maybe it’s enjoy.

Sometimes, the wisest choice is a mix of these.

The goal isn’t to find one perfect formula for every dollar.

It’s about being more intentional with what God has given us.

Family Field Question

Try this around the table this week:

“If our family had an extra $100 today, what are five different jobs we could give that money?”

Let everyone share their answer.

You might be surprised by what your children say.

Instead of correcting their answers right away, ask them why they chose what they did.

That’s how the real money conversation can start.

One Small Step This Week

Take a piece of paper and write:

PROVIDE | PREPARE | BUILD | GIVE | ENJOY

Then choose one recent family expense and ask:

Which job was that money doing?

You don’t need a complicated finance curriculum for kids to get started.

You just need a conversation.

Because we’re not only teaching our children what money can buy.

We’re teaching them what money can do.

💎 Money is a tool. Teach your kids how to use it before giving them the responsibility.

Keep Growing With Me

🌿 Keep Growing This Week

📝 Read the deeper reflection on Substack:☕ Support Thrive — Buy Me a Pearl:

✏️ Tools From My Planning Table

These are some of the tools I use while planning, teaching, creating visual maps, and building the systems I share here on Thrive with Ebony.

📓 Spiral Journal

✒️ Clictek Fountain Pen

✏️ Apple Pencil

📱 iPad Mini

🖥️ PaperLike Screen Protector

Some links may be Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.

💰 Money Tools We Use

🌱 Acorns

📈 Fidelity

These are tools our family uses as we continue learning about saving, investing, and giving money direction.

Faith. Family. Structure. One pearl at a time.

Until next time… Keep thriving.

Pearls of Wisdom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Have you ever had everybody say they’re helping, but somehow you’re still the one remembering everything?

You notice what needs to be done.

You assign it.

You explain it.

You follow up.

You check it.

And if it doesn’t get finished… you finish it.

Technically, you had help.

But mentally?

You still owned the whole thing.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot as we continue building things together as a family.

Because whether we’re talking about home responsibilities, a family business, creative projects, or even something as simple as organizing supplies, there’s a big difference between helping and ownership.

💎 Helping is good. Ownership is better.

Helping Still Leaves Someone in Charge

When I say:

“Can you help me with this?”

the responsibility still belongs to me.

I still have to remember that it needs to happen.

I still have to ask.

I still have to explain what I need.

And usually, I still have to remember whether it got done.

That’s fine sometimes.

Families should help each other.

But if everything works that way, one person eventually becomes the family’s walking reminder system.

And that gets exhausting.

Sometimes the solution isn’t getting everyone to do more.

Sometimes the solution is getting clearer about:

Who actually owns what?

The WHO DOES WHAT? Map

I wanted something simple enough to put in a notebook and actually use.

So I created four questions:

1. What needs to happen?

Name the actual responsibility.

Planning.

Content.

Packing.

Money.

Supplies.

Cleaning.

Scheduling.

Whatever applies to your family.

2. Who owns it?

This is different from:

“Who can help?”

Who is the main person responsible for knowing that this needs to happen?

3. Who helps?

Ownership doesn’t mean someone has to do everything alone.

Maybe one person owns the task while another person supports part of it.

4. Does it need parent approval?

This matters especially when children are involved.

Money.

Customer communication.

Purchases.

Publishing.

Personal information.

Anything involving safety or privacy.

Those things stay with the adults.

So the map becomes:

WHAT → OWNER → HELP → APPROVAL

Simple.

Clear.

No giant operations manual required.

Give People a Lane They Can Actually Handle

Everybody in the family doesn’t need the same level of responsibility.

Age matters.

Maturity matters.

Skill matters.

Interest matters.

And some things should remain with the adults.

Our children can learn responsibility, organization, creativity, entrepreneurship, and ownership without being handed adult burdens.

That distinction matters to me.

I don’t want to make our children tiny employees.

I want to give them opportunities to grow.

As they develop skills, we can give those skills somewhere to belong.

A child who enjoys photography might eventually help with simple product photos.

A child who loves organizing might help keep supplies in order.

A child who loves creating might contribute artwork or ideas.

The role can grow as the child grows.

The system should serve the family.

The family should not spend its life serving the system.

That’s the stewardship piece.

Structure isn’t about controlling everybody.

Healthy structure should create more peace.

If the Role Only Lives in Your Head, You Still Own It

This one gets me too.

Sometimes I think I’ve communicated something because I thought about it very clearly.

Meanwhile, everybody else is happily going about their day. 😂

Then I’m wondering:

“Why didn’t anybody know this needed to happen?”

Well…

Did I actually tell anybody?

Or did I hold the entire meeting in my head?

Writing things down creates clarity.

It lets everyone see:

This belongs to me.

This belongs to you.

This is where I help.

This is where Mom or Dad still needs to approve.

And sometimes a little clarity can prevent a whole lot of unnecessary frustration.

Faith in Action

This week I’ve been thinking about 1 Corinthians 14:40:

* “Let all things be done decently and in order.”

The verse has its own specific biblical context, but the principle of order makes me think about stewardship.

Order does not have to mean rigidity.

Structure doesn’t have to mean pressure.

Sometimes structure is simply knowing:

Who does what?

And when expectations are clear, one person doesn’t have to silently carry everything.

Reflect & Lead

This week, choose one area that feels messy.

Not the entire house.

Not the entire business.

One area.

Then ask:

What needs to happen?Who owns it?Who helps?Does it need parent approval?

And then ask your family:

* Is everybody clear about what belongs to them?

You may discover that nobody was lazy.

Nobody was trying to make your life harder.

Everybody may have simply assumed somebody else had it.

Sometimes peace needs a little clarity.

💎 Helping is good. Ownership is better.

You can watch the full Pearls of Wisdom episode here:

How to Divide Roles in a Family Business Without Doing Everything YourselfTHRIVE WITH EBONY

If these conversations are helping your family build with more peace and structure, you can support Thrive through Buy Me a Pearl:

BUY ME A PEARL

Tools From My Planning Table

These are a few of the simple tools I use while planning, organizing, and building behind the scenes. You don’t need any of them to use what I shared above, but if you’re curious about what’s actually on my planning table, I’ve linked them here.

✍🏾 Lamy Safari Fountain Pen:

Lamy

📱 Other Thrive Planning Tools:

Apple Pencil

PaperLike Screen Protector

Ipad Mini

Some links may be Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.

Faith. Family. Structure.One Pearl at a time.Until Next Time….. Keep Thriving

Pearls of Wisdom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

There are so many things I want my girls to learn.

Reading.

Writing.

Money.

Creativity.

Responsibility.

Business.

How to finish what they start.

And as a homeschooling mom, it can be very easy to think every new skill requires another curriculum, program, class, or resource.

But lately, I’ve been asking myself a different question:

What do we already know that we can pass down?

I’m a proofreader.

My husband is an artist.

And our girls have imaginations that can come up with a story faster than I can get it written down.

So we’re putting those things together.

The girls are working on their first comic books.

Not because we’re trying to create professional child authors.

Not because every hobby needs to become a business.

And definitely not because their first books need to be perfect.

We’re doing it because creating one little book gives them an opportunity to practice something much bigger:

Taking something from an idea to something they actually own and created.

This Week’s Pearl

💎 Your skills aren’t just something you can earn from; they’re something you can pass down.

I’ve spent time developing my proofreading skills because they’re useful professionally.

But those same skills have value inside my home.

I can help my girls understand how a story flows.

I can teach them to read their own sentences and ask whether they make sense.

I can help them notice spelling, punctuation, and word choices.

Their dad can teach things I can’t.

He can help them think about drawing, characters, visual storytelling, and illustration.

And our girls bring their own creativity to the table.

That’s been making me think differently about family stewardship.

Sometimes we’re so busy looking outside our homes for the next thing our children need that we forget to look at the knowledge already living inside them.

Create First. Correct Second.

Being a proofreader creates one interesting problem when you’re teaching a child to write.

You see everything.

The misspelled word.

The missing punctuation.

The sentence that somehow started in Texas and ended in California. 😂

And because you know how to correct it, it’s tempting to stop them immediately.

I’m learning not to.

There’s a time to create.

And there’s a time to correct.

Those don’t always need to happen simultaneously.

When my girls are trying to figure out what happens next in their comic books, I don’t want perfection interrupting imagination.

So I’m practicing a very simple rule:

CREATE FIRST → CORRECT SECOND

Let them tell the story.

Let them draw.

Let them write the dialogue.

Let them make mistakes.

Then we can come back together and polish it.

I don’t want my ability to see what’s wrong to make them afraid to create something imperfect.

Their first book should reflect their first efforts.

It doesn’t need to look like something created by a professional author, editor, and illustrator.

That’s part of the beauty of it.

One Project Can Teach a Lot

This is one reason I enjoy project-based learning.

Making a comic book sounds like one activity.

But look underneath it.

They’re creating characters.

Writing dialogue.

Reading their own work.

Sequencing events.

Drawing.

Editing.

Problem-solving.

Designing a cover.

Making decisions.

And eventually...

finishing something.

That’s a lot of learning hiding inside one little project.

And because they’re interested in what they’re creating, the skills have a reason.

They’re not practicing writing simply because I told them to write five sentences.

They’re writing because their character needs something to say.

I love that.

The Family Can Become Part of the Classroom

This project has also made me look beyond my own skills.

What does Dad know?

What does Mom know?

What could Grandma teach?

What could Grandpa teach?

What are our children getting good at that they could teach one another?

Maybe nobody in your family is a proofreader or an artist.

That’s okay.

Maybe somebody sews.

Gardens.

Cooks.

Repairs things.

Takes beautiful photographs.

Budgets.

Organizes.

Builds.

Speaks another language.

Runs a business.

Plays an instrument.

Writes.

There is knowledge sitting inside our families.

And some of it took us years to acquire.

Our children don’t necessarily have to start from zero.

We can give them access to what we’ve learned—not because they have to become little versions of us, but because part of stewardship is deciding what’s worth passing down.

From “I Have an Idea” to “I Made It”

This may be the part I’m most excited for the girls to experience.

There’s a big difference between:

“I want to make a comic book.”

and:

“I made a comic book.”

The first one takes imagination.

The second one requires imagination plus follow-through.

That’s why we’re keeping their process simple:

IDEA ↓ CHARACTER ↓ PROBLEM ↓ STORY / PANELS ↓ FIRST DRAFT ↓ POLISH ↓ BOOK

We’re not starting with Amazon.

We’re not starting with how much they could sell it for.

We’re not worrying about author brands, websites, or building some giant children’s business.

First, make the book.

There will be plenty of time to teach them more about publishing, intellectual property, entrepreneurship, and creative ownership.

Right now, finishing something they imagined is enough.

Raising Creators, Not Just Consumers

I don’t believe everything our children create needs to make money.

That’s important to me.

Creation does not always need to become monetization.

Children should be allowed to make things simply because creating is good.

At the same time, I want my girls to understand that they aren’t limited to consuming what everybody else creates.

They can read a comic book.

And they can create one.

They can enjoy someone’s artwork.

And learn to make their own.

They can love someone’s characters.

And invent their own.

They can read someone’s story.

And discover that their own stories are worth writing down too.

That’s the beginning of creative ownership.

Reflect & Lead

This week, instead of immediately searching for another activity, curriculum, or program for your children, take inventory of your own family.

Ask:

What do I know how to do?

What does my spouse know?

What have we learned through work, school, business, hobbies, or life?

What could our children learn by doing something alongside us?

Then don’t turn the answer into a twelve-week curriculum tonight. 😂

Choose one small thing.

Teach them something.

Make something.

Practice something.

Let them try.

Faith in Action

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 gives us a beautiful picture of teaching our children as part of ordinary family life.

It isn’t a passage about comic books, entrepreneurship, or family business.

But it reminds me that teaching our children isn’t confined to formal lessons.

It’s woven into life together.

There are things God has taught us.

Wisdom we’ve gained.

Skills we’ve developed.

Mistakes we’ve learned from.

Experiences that changed us.

Part of stewarding those things well may be making sure they don’t stop with us.

Something to Think About

What’s something your family knows how to do that you could learn from each other?

And don’t only think about what Mom and Dad can teach the children.

Our children have things to teach us, too.

🪶 Resources We’re Using

I’m keeping this project intentionally simple.

You do not need special supplies to help your child create a book. Paper and a pencil are enough.

But if you’re curious about some of the tools you see me using while I write, proofread, plan, and teach, I’ll keep them here:

✒️ My fountain pen: joylink.io/acrylic-fountain-pen

✏️ Apple Pencil: joylink.io/delightful-latest-pencil

📱 iPad Mini: joylink.io/apple-a17-pro-ipad-mini

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. I only share resources that we actually use or that naturally support what I’m teaching.

🤍 Support Thrive — Buy Me a Pearl

If these Pearls are helping your family build with more faith, peace, wisdom, and structure, you can support the work of Thrive with Ebony through Buy Me a Coffee—or, as we call it around here, Buy Me a Pearl.

Your support helps me continue creating Pearls of Wisdom episodes, Substack reflections, and practical family stewardship resources.

Buy Me a Pearl: buymeacoffee.com/thrivewithebonysade

No pressure. I’m grateful you’re here reading, learning, and building alongside our family.

If you’d like to hear the full conversation and see how we’re helping our girls work through their first comic books, the podcast episode is linked below.

🎥 [WATCH/LISTEN: How to Teach Your Kids to Write Their First Book]

Faith. Family. Structure.One Pearl at a time.Until Next Time….. Keep Thriving

I have plenty of ideas.

To be honest, sometimes that’s actually the problem.

A new book idea.

A video idea.

Something for the business.

A resource I could create.

Something else I want to learn.

It’s easy to feel productive just by filling a notebook with possibilities...

when we haven’t actually built anything yet.

I’m learning that creativity and execution are two very different things.

Coming up with another idea feels exciting.

Developing one idea requires patience.

This Week’s Pearl

💎 You don’t need more ideas. You need to learn how to build from one.

That thought has been changing how I look at our family businesses—and even how I’m teaching our girls about entrepreneurship.

Instead of always asking:

“What else can we create?”

I’m starting to ask:

“What have we already created, learned, or started that we haven’t fully developed yet?”

That’s a very different question.

Start With Who You Can Help

If you’re at the beginning, don’t worry about deciding whether you need an ebook, a YouTube channel, a course, an Etsy shop, a website, or a printable.

Start here:

Who can I help?

And:

What can I help them do?

Maybe you’ve learned how to organize something.

Teach something.

Make something.

Solve something.

Save money somewhere.

Simplify a process.

Maybe your family already has a creative skill, hobby, or experience that could become the beginning of something you build together.

Your experience doesn’t have to be revolutionary to be useful.

It just needs to help someone move from one place to another.

Then Let Your Idea Grow

Once you have a useful idea, you can begin asking what forms it could eventually take.

Could you teach it?

Could you explain it more deeply?

Could you create something that helps another person do it themselves?

That’s how one idea can eventually turn into content, a book, a resource, a service, a small business, or something you haven’t thought of yet.

But here’s what I keep reminding myself:

We don’t have to build all of it today.

Seeing the possibilities doesn’t mean pursuing all of them simultaneously.

Sometimes being a good steward means seeing what an idea could become...

and then focusing on the part that belongs in this season.

That’s something I’m practicing in our own family right now.

Instead of trying to teach our girls entrepreneurship by giving them a hundred different business ideas, we’re giving them an opportunity to work on one small business experience and learn what it takes to actually build it.

Not just coming up with the idea.

But doing the work that comes after the idea.

That’s where so much of the learning happens.

Try This

Take one idea you’ve been carrying around.

Write it at the top of a page.

Then answer:

Who does this help?

What does it help them do?

And finally:

What is the simplest version of this idea I could actually complete?

Start there.

Not with the empire.

Not with the ten-product launch.

With something useful you can finish.

Luke 16:10 reminds us of the importance of faithfulness with little.

The next opportunity may not begin with finding something new.

It may begin with becoming a better steward of what’s already in your hands.

Something to Think About

What good idea have you been overlooking because you’re too busy thinking about the next one?

You may already have more to build from than you realize.

And if you’re building with your family, maybe the first goal isn’t even to make a lot of money.

Maybe the first goal is simply to learn how to build something together.

Faith. Family. Structure. One pearl at a time.

Pearls of Wisdom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

For many of us, money was something the adults handled.

The bills got paid.

Groceries showed up.

Maybe we heard things like:

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

Or...

“We can’t afford that.”

But there wasn’t always a conversation about why.

Why do we save?

How does a budget actually work?

Why would we choose not to buy something we technically can afford?

What is an emergency fund?

Why do people invest?

How do we prepare for something we know is coming?

Then we grew up.

Suddenly, we were responsible for bills, credit, insurance, savings, debt, retirement, investing, taxes...

and everything else adulthood decided to throw at us. 😂

And somehow, we were expected to know what we were doing.

As a parent, I’ve been thinking about that a lot.

Because there are still financial things I’m learning too.

And I think sometimes that can make us hesitant to teach our children.

We think:

How can I teach them when I’m still figuring it out myself?

But I’m realizing something.

I don’t have to know everything before I can teach my children something.

We can learn together.

💎 Money Needs Family Leadership, Not Family Silence

I don’t want money to be a mystery in our home.

But I also don’t believe children should carry adult financial stress.

Those are two different things.

Our children don’t need every detail about the mortgage, retirement accounts, taxes, or bills.

But they can understand:

Save.

Spend.

Give.

Budget.

Need.

Want.

Cost.

Value.

They can learn why we’re saving for something.

They can understand why we don’t spend everything we earn.

They can learn that sometimes we can afford something...

and still choose not to buy it.

Because there’s something else we want that money to accomplish.

And that brings me to something I really want my children to understand:

💎 Money Is a Tool. Give It Direction.

Money isn’t the goal.

It’s a resource.

And resources can be directed toward something.

Our money can help us:

Keep a roof over our heads.

Feed our family.

Give generously.

Build emergency savings.

Pay off debt.

Create family experiences.

Invest.

Build a business.

Prepare for the future.

Leave something for the next generation.

The question isn’t only:

“How much money do we have?”

I’m becoming much more interested in another question:

“What is our money building?”

That question changes the conversation.

A budget stops being only about what we can’t buy.

It becomes a plan for what we’re trying to build.

🏡 Try This With Your Family

You don’t need to pull out every bank statement and hold a two-hour family financial meeting.

Start with ten minutes.

Ask:

“What is one thing our family wants our money to help us accomplish?”

Maybe it’s paying something off.

Building an emergency fund.

Taking a family trip.

Giving more.

Saving for something your home needs.

Starting a business.

Investing for the future.

Choose one.

Then ask:

“What’s one small decision we can make this month that moves us toward it?”

Maybe you eat at home one extra night.

Maybe you automate a small transfer to savings.

Maybe you wait before making a purchase.

Maybe you finally sit down and look at where your money has been going.

It doesn’t have to be dramatic.

The goal is to begin connecting money decisions with family direction.

🪶 Teach the Decision

There’s another small shift I’m trying to be mindful of with children.

Instead of always saying:

“We can’t afford that.”

Sometimes the more accurate answer is:

“We could buy that, but we’re choosing to use our money for something else.”

That’s a lesson.

Now we’re teaching:

Priorities.

Patience.

Trade-offs.

Delayed gratification.

Discernment.

Because everything we can afford isn’t necessarily wise to buy.

Our children don’t only need to learn how to spend money.

They need opportunities to learn how to choose.

💎 Talk. Plan. Decide.

That’s what I’m taking into our home:

TALK.

Don’t make money a mystery.

PLAN.

Money is a tool. Give it direction.

DECIDE.

Practice making thoughtful financial choices.

We’re not going to master financial stewardship through one conversation.

We’re building a culture.

Conversation by conversation.

Decision by decision.

Lesson by lesson.

📖 Faith in Action

Proverbs 21:5 reminds us that there is wisdom in diligent planning.

And I think that’s an important distinction.

Planning isn’t about controlling everything that happens.

It’s about intentionally caring for what God has already placed in our hands.

Our money isn’t our identity.

It isn’t our security.

And accumulating more of it isn’t the ultimate goal.

We are not chasing wealth.

We are learning to faithfully steward what God has entrusted to us.

🪶 Something to Think About

What did you learn about money growing up?

And maybe more importantly...

What do you want your children to learn differently?

We can’t go backward and change what someone didn’t teach us.

But we can keep learning.

And we can make a different decision about what happens next.

We can’t change what we weren’t taught.

But we can change what gets taught next.

And that might be one of the most valuable things we pass down.

🪶 Keep Growing This Week

🎥 Watch this week’s Pearls of Wisdom: How to Teach Your Family About Money (Even If You Weren’t Taught).

🏡 Have one 10-minute family money conversation.

💬 Ask: “What do we want our money to help us accomplish?”

Then choose one small step.

Talk. Plan. Decide.

Because money is a tool.

Give it direction.

Faith. Family. Structure.

One pearl at a time.