Boy Story: what made you decide to do these podcasts? Rookiee: main reason is that my life was shaping up to fall short of attaining its full potential. I cannot legally enjoy my sexuality because of the status quo forced upon me by society, and that situation has the potential to cause me a nervous breakdown. Earlier this year I contemplated suicide. This led to several months of introspection and an effort to change the course of my life, which wasn’t going in any direction. I was pissed off, and me and Abraxas decided to do these deep conversation podcasts. (05:25 to 10:09)

Boy Story: I asked you the question for a reason, and the answer I got was pretty much as expected. I think yours is a common problem for people of our ilk. Some adjust their lives by going out and molesting. Others adjust by going out and doing something positive about their situation. Rookiee: since there are so many people out there that are lost and wallowing in their own turmoil, chances are they will take the road to nowhere. I admit, I was headed in the wrong direction, but once I turned 19 and found the internet, that is when I discovered similar people to myself. That is when my life began to change. Boy Story: I can admit to taking the wrong path for part of my life, but somehow I managed to change for the better, and in my case the positive has been shifting the direction of the life of others for the better. That makes me feel I have done the world a great service. (10:10 to 14:18)

Rookiee: email received today. They heard my podcast and they realised they weren’t the only one out there. The podcast made them think, and as a result, they don’t feel so alone any more. Boy Story: I mentioned in episode 10, about the correspondence I receive in connection with my Nifty LGB erotic story writing. Several correspondents say they have experienced similar situations and emotional feelings that as portrayed within the stories and can really identify with the characters in the stories. (14:19 to 15:05)

Rookiee: I have noticed some podcasts are taking hits whilst on the air. Free speech is being replaced by what is deemed acceptable. Boy Story: you have to realise our topic is on the fringes of acceptability. Rookiee: people find what we are into and find attractive, inherently criminal and evil. Why? I am not going to hurt anyone. Pre-conceived notions, ignorance, dis-information via the media because it sells copy, etc. Boy Story: some perspective. Fifty years ago there was Joseph McCarthy and the big evil: communism. We are the modern-day communists. Human societies have always had their witch hunts, and right now our community is living in a police state. People are being frowned upon, simply for having friendships. Rookie: a culture of fear. (19:20 to 22:32)

Boy Story: If I told you I lived close to a school, and stood on a corner watching the kids as they leave. There was one cute kid I was attracted to, and tomorrow I intended to take him to my apartment and molest him, what would you do? If it was me, without a doubt, I would turn me in. Rookiee: it all depends on the person’s intentions. Boy Story: we are talking about an 8 or 9yo here, and I am determined to take him to bed. I would report me immediately in this situation. Rookiee: right now, our whole community is being turned in. Boy Story: society has a habit of generalising. Back in the seventies when I was a young friend, homosexuals were labelled child molesters. We all know that is bullshit. It took some effort on the part of the gay community at that time to distance itself from the stigma. (22:33 to 24:44)

Boy Story: I bought into the hype at the time when NAMBLA was formed as a distinct entity quite separate from the homosexual community. I came to believe the phrase ‘sex by eight or it’s too late’ was a tenet of NAMBLA, when in reality it came from another organisation: The René Guyon Society. NAMBLA from what I know promotes boylove in its purest form. Rookiee: I was also under the impression NAMBLA was an organisation all about getting kids into bed. Society helped this notion along by creating negative parodies, such as the skit in South Park. Even I fell into the trap of being led to believe the propaganda. (24:45 to 28:59)

Rookie: I mainly discuss boylover-related topics. I don’t know many girl-lovers, but that shouldn’t stop me from talking about it. What I am noticing is a growing rift between the two communities. Boy Story: what we should recognise is that we are all child lovers, and that we are all experiencing the exact same prejudices. If anything, boy lovers are subjected to way-more prejudice due to the homosexual dimension. Rookiee: David Riegel is of the view that the two communities are so different that boy lovers should focus exclusively on boy love issues. First, there are insufficient of us to effect change. Second, united we stand, divided we fall. Boy Story: change starts with a small number of people taking the initiative, like the black community in the southern US. I can only hope more than just the child love community listens to Pedologues. Rookiee: previous podcast attempts have resulted in being closed down because of the perceived questionable, offensive content. (29:00 to 33:42)

Boy Story: we have been discussing the mainstream prejudices afflicting the child-lover community. However, we also have to put up with negative sentiment coming from the much of the adult homosexual world too. I got into a prolonged fight on Nifty.org with an individual who identifies as gay and who enjoys the company of 18+ males, as to whether paedos should be allowed to write stories on the site. I asked: what age is appropriate to you? ‘18’ was the response. Why? ‘Because it is the law’. And if the law said 12, would that be acceptable? ‘Yes’ was the response. I told him, if that is what you truly think, then I hope you never have sex with anyone. (33:43 to 35:32)

Boy Story: if governments increase repression, they simultaneously increase fear. US society as a whole is significantly more oppressed than at any time since it was first created. We can’t do half of the things it was once perfectly fine for us to do. When I grew up, we never locked our doors. No-one thought twice about a 7 or 8yo boy setting off from home and walking to the mall on his own. This 180 degree change has not been brought about by the sudden appearance of child lovers. There is likely to be just as many as before, but due to the discrimination heaped upon them today, they maintain a closeted profile. (35:33 to 39:46)

Rookiee: some people might accuse us of having a criminal conversation. Boy Story: but we are exercising our first amendment right to have a discussion on topics that just happen to focus on illegal acts. Rookiee: has encountered podcast criticism classifying him as a white supremacist claiming that paedophilia is hate speech. On the other side of the coin, he has also received supportive feedback from correspondents who are not part of the community. Receiving such support means that the podcasts are worth the effort. (39:47 to 45:35)

Boy Story: Aqua’s wish was to change the world, but I would be ecstatic if, through my podcast contribution, I managed to change the minds of only a few to the benefit of our community. I have been a boy lover since 1979, consciously knowing that I am attracted to boys. Had there been a resource like this available from the early 1980s, just think what a change that could have wrought over that time. I know of several boy lovers who, over twenty years and more, have never had any contact with boys due to the status quo. (45:36 to 47:58)

Rookiee: there is no way I could achieve gratification in the knowledge that a sexual encounter with a minor had been anything less than mutual. Boy Story: repeat question from earlier episodes, at what point does a child have the wherewithal to consent? Rookiee: a variable number that can never be quantified due to the arbitrary nature of the level of maturity versus the age of that child. (47:59 to 50:29)

Rookie: when I was at the Portable Media Expo, I saw someone who was really damn cute on two occasions, and I whispered that fact into the microphone which was then broadcast within episode 8. I was then accused on the forums of stalking. Boy Story: only goes to show that people will bend reality to confirm their prejudices. Rookiee: if anyone else from any other sexual persuasion said that about anyone else, it would have been perfectly fine. If I had said I like a man in uniform – perfectly fine. If I had said I like a schoolboy in uniform – chaos. They are automatically assuming my intent, even if my intent was positive, they would construe it negatively. Boy Story: I recall when in cub scouts aged 9, a 20’s something scout told me I looked good in my uniform. People back then would think nothing of such a comment. Rookiee: someone, who was a youth counsellor, nearly got fired for commenting how cute a boy looked while asleep, implying the little darlings are now asleep, so we can at last have some peace and quiet. Boy Story: and yet it is fine for people to comment on how adorable a child looks. (50:30 to 56:54)