“Can I go back to how I was before this started?” If you’re living with male pelvic pain, you’ve probably asked that question a hundred times.

In this episode of Pelvic Pain Matters, Karl Monahan begins a mini-series on time — and why the desire to “go back” can quietly keep you stuck in blame, fear, and constant comparison to the old you. Karl shares his own story (including a serious infection and long-term fear about relationships, sex, fertility, and identity), then brings in real examples from recent calls with younger men dealing with distressing changes and the same burning question: “Will this ever go back to normal?”

This is an honest, compassionate conversation about: why we can’t turn back time what that means emotionally (guilt, shame, regret, fear) and how acceptance (not resignation) can become the first real shift toward recovery.

You’re not broken. You’re not alone. And even if things don’t return exactly to “before,” you can move forward and reclaim your life. In this episode, we cover:

✅ Why “I just want my old life back” is so common (and so heavy)

✅ The role of guilt, shame, and regret in pelvic pain loops

✅ A crucial distinction: Acceptance vs Resignation

✅ Why waiting to feel “100% better” can keep life on pause

✅ How to take the smallest step forward when everything feels impossible

✅ The invitation: growth, adaptation, self-compassion, and momentum

Chapters / Timestamps 00:00 – Intro: Pelvic Pain Matters + why this topic matters

00:52 – The “Time” mini-series: how long will this take?

01:31 – Today’s question: “Can I go back to how it was?”

03:54 – The first truth: we can’t turn back time

05:06 – Blame, shame, guilt: the “if only I hadn’t…” loop

06:07 – Karl’s story: what happened + why it shaped everything

08:29 – Fast forward: life after pelvic pain fear

10:00 – Real examples: young men asking “will it go back?”

11:54 – Perspective: we can’t undo life events, but we can learn

12:52 – The shift: Acceptance (and why it’s misunderstood)

15:09 – Acceptance vs resignation: an invitation to change

16:01 – Small steps toward big life goals

17:33 – CTA: connect, share, review + what’s next in the series

Comment below: What are you wishing you could “go back” to?

What’s one tiny step forward you could take this week?

Share this with someone who’s stuck in regret or fear right now.

Subscribe for the rest of the Time mini-series and weekly episodes.

✨ JOIN THE PELVIC PAIN MATTERS CIRCLE — OUR PRIVATE ONLINE COMMUNITY If you’re ready for support, structure, guidance, and community — this is where your next step begins.

Click here for more information - https://pelvic-pain-matters-community.circle.so/checkout/ppm-entry-fee?utm_campaign=button_list_ThePelvicPainMattersCommunityCircle&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=later-linkinbio

If you’re tired of going through pelvic pain alone, endlessly researching, or trying to piece everything together yourself, the Circle is where your recovery gets supported properly. This is a private, off-social-media community for men who want:

✔ Real guidance (not random forum advice)

✔ A place to ask questions without embarrassment

✔ Consistent support during flare-ups and setbacks

✔ A structured way to learn, grow, and actually move forward

✔ Connection with men who get it — because they’re living it too

Inside the Circle, you’ll get:

🔹 Monthly success stories

🔹 Movement + mobility videos

🔹 Breathwork sessions

🔹 Pain understanding & recovery education

🔹 Tools to help you regulate your system, reduce uncertainty, and find steadier recovery

It’s the space I wish I had when I was in the darkest parts of pelvic pain. If you’re ready for support, structure, guidance, and community — this is where your next step begins.

Click here for more information - https://pelvic-pain-matters-community.circle.so/checkout/ppm-entry-fee?utm_campaign=button_list_ThePelvicPainMattersCommunityCircle&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=later-linkinbio

male pelvic pain, pelvic pain matters, chronic pelvic pain syndrome, CPPS, prostatitis, pelvic floor dysfunction men, male pelvic floor, pelvic pain recovery, pelvic pain anxiety, fear avoidance, acceptance vs resignation, chronic pain mindset, pain neuroscience education, pelvic pain podcast, men’s health, KL Monahan

Is the juice worth the squeeze?

This episode is based on patient wisdom — the real-life insights my patients share in clinic that can genuinely shift recovery.

If you’re living with male pelvic pain, it’s incredibly common to start avoiding activities: sitting, cycling, exercise, socialising, intimacy… and slowly, life shrinks. In this podcast, we explore how to run a simple cost–benefit analysis (in a way that actually makes sense), and how to rebuild evidence of safety through small, realistic steps.

I’m Karl Monahan from Pelvic Pain Matters. These are short, practical 15-minute episodes built from clinical experience, patient stories, and what works in real recovery.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

✅ Why avoidance makes life smaller (and often keeps symptoms louder)

✅ The question that reframes fear: “Is the juice worth the squeeze?”

✅ How to build evidence of safety (instead of evidence of danger)

✅ Real examples from “Jake”: sitting pain, gym bench, chair triggers, lap pressure, sauna/steam

✅ How to use graded exposure (small, paced, achievable steps) to reclaim meaningful activities

✅ Why “dosage” matters: doing the right thing in the right amount

Chapters / Timestamps

00:10 – Intro: patient wisdom & why it matters

01:15 – Avoidance: how small has your life become?

02:25 – “Is the juice worth the squeeze?” (Jake’s phrase)

02:57 – Sitting pain + building evidence of safety

03:58 – Cost–benefit analysis (without the boring language)

04:39 – How avoidance steals exercise, social life & identity

05:18 – Jake’s breakthrough: choosing “yes” despite discomfort

06:14 – Predictive processing: expectation can amplify pain

07:17 – Example 1: the gym bench (benefit outweighs threat)

08:55 – Example 2: “the chair” at mum’s house (and the dog factor)

09:34 – Girlfriend vs dog: meaning changes the body’s response

10:27 – Example 3: sauna/steam + rebuilding tolerance

12:35 – What are you avoiding — and is it worth it?

12:57 – Graded exposure: small steps, pacing, realistic goals

13:28 – Your turn: what “juice” is worth your squeeze?

14:15 – Outro + how to reach us

14:38 – Circle community (optional extra support)

Comment below: What have you been avoiding?

And what’s one meaningful thing you want back in your life — even if you start small?

If you found this useful, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs it.

✨ JOIN THE PELVIC PAIN MATTERS CIRCLE — OUR PRIVATE ONLINE COMMUNITY

If you’re ready for support, structure, guidance, and community — this is where your next step begins. Click here for more information - https://pelvic-pain-matters-community.circle.so/checkout/ppm-entry-fee?utm_campaign=button_list_ThePelvicPainMattersCommunityCircle&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=later-linkinbio

If you’re tired of going through pelvic pain alone, endlessly researching, or trying to piece everything together yourself, the Circle is where your recovery gets supported properly.

This is a private, off-social-media community for men who want:

✔ Real guidance (not random forum advice)

✔ A place to ask questions without embarrassment

✔ Consistent support during flare-ups and setbacks

✔ A structured way to learn, grow, and actually move forward

✔ Connection with men who get it — because they’re living it too

Inside the Circle, you’ll get:

🔹 Monthly success stories

🔹 Movement + mobility videos

🔹 Breathwork sessions

🔹 Pain understanding & recovery education

🔹 Tools to help you regulate your system, reduce uncertainty, and find steadier recovery

It’s the space I wish I had when I was in the darkest parts of pelvic pain.

If you’re ready for support, structure, guidance, and community — this is where your next step begins. Click here for more information - https://pelvic-pain-matters-community...

#PelvicPainMatters #MalePelvicPain #CPPS #PelvicPainRecovery #ChronicPain #PainScience #MensHealth #GradedExposure #SittingPain #PatientWisdom

In this episode of my Friday Takeaway series, we look beyond the pelvic floor again… this time diving even deeper into dopamine and its role in this complex condition.

I’m Karl Monahan, founder of Pelvic Pain Matters, clinical director of The Pelvic Pain Clinic… and someone who has lived through chronic pelvic pain myself. I get how consuming and frightening these patterns can become. In male pelvic pain, it’s not just what’s happening in the pelvic floor — it’s what your whole system predicts is about to happen.

In this Friday Takeaway, I continue our dopamine series by exploring prediction, anticipation, and “scanning” behaviours — the loops that can quietly fuel symptoms, flare-ups, urgency, and fear.

I’m Karl Monahan, founder of Pelvic Pain Matters, clinical director of The Pelvic Pain Clinic, and a former pelvic pain sufferer myself. These episodes are short, practical snippets to help: patients navigate pelvic pain more successfully clinicians broaden assessment beyond the pelvic floor partners/loved ones better understand what someone is going through In this episode you’ll learn:

✅ Why the brain is less a “receiver” and more a predictor

✅ How pelvic pain can become a self-fulfilling prophecy (without being “in your head”)

✅ Why morning symptom-checking and body scanning ramps up threat

✅ How dopamine fuels urgency, catastrophising, and anticipation loops

✅ A simple 90-second breathing “firebreak” to interrupt the cycle

✅ How to re-train prediction using mismatch journaling (“what I feared” vs “what happened”)

✅ How to shift your system from threat → trust, one small degree at a time Recovery isn’t about flipping an off-switch. It’s about changing your relationship with sensations, thoughts, and uncertainty — and teaching your system that not every signal equals danger.

Do you notice yourself scanning for symptoms in the morning, before sitting, travel, or sex? Drop a comment — what pattern traps you most, and what helps you shift it?

OIN THE PELVIC PAIN MATTERS CIRCLE — OUR PRIVATE ONLINE COMMUNITY

If you’re ready for support, structure, guidance, and community — this is where your next step begins. Click here for more information -

https://pelvic-pain-matters-community...

If you’re tired of going through pelvic pain alone, endlessly researching, or trying to piece everything together yourself, the Circle is where your recovery gets supported properly. This is a private, off-social-media community for men who want:

✔ Real guidance (not random forum advice)

✔ A place to ask questions without embarrassment

✔ Consistent support during flare-ups and setbacks

✔ A structured way to learn, grow, and actually move forward

✔ Connection with men who get it — because they’re living it too Inside the Circle, you’ll get: 🔹 Monthly success stories

🔹 Movement + mobility videos

🔹 Breathwork sessions

🔹 Pain understanding & recovery education

🔹 Tools to help you regulate your system, reduce uncertainty, and find steadier recovery

It’s the space I wish I had when I was in the darkest parts of pelvic pain. If you’re ready for support, structure, guidance, and community — this is where your next step begins.

Click here for more information - https://pelvic-pain-matters-community...

#PelvicPainMatters #MalePelvicPain #CPPS #PelvicPainRecovery #DopamineDetox #PainScience #MindBodyConnection #ChronicPainSupport #PelvicHealthForMen #PelvicFloorDysfunction #MenWithPelvicPain #PelvicPainHelp

We often think dopamine is the “feel-good” chemical — but there’s a darker side that plays a powerful role in male pelvic pain.

In this episode of my Friday Takeaway series, we look beyond the pelvic floor again… this time diving into how anticipation, fear, scanning, and craving for relief can reinforce pain cycles and keep your system stuck in protection mode.

I’m Karl Monahan, founder of Pelvic Pain Matters, clinical director of The Pelvic Pain Clinic… and someone who has lived through chronic pelvic pain myself. I get how consuming and frightening these patterns can become.

🔍 In this episode, we explore:

✔ Why dopamine drives anticipation and pain prediction

✔ “Scanning” behaviours: checking symptoms on waking

✔ Fear before sitting, sex, or activity — and how that fuels pain

✔ Why hope can become stressful when it hangs on outcomes

✔ Understanding pain as a processing problem, not “in your head”

✔ Practical strategies to dial down urgency and create space to recover

✔ How to replace fear-driven habits with safety-driven curiosity When we begin to understand the brain–body cycle, everything starts to make more sense — and recovery becomes more possible.

💬 Chat to Me Do you recognise these patterns?

How does anticipation or scanning show up in your day?

Share in the comments — your insight might help someone else.

✨ JOIN THE PELVIC PAIN MATTERS CIRCLE — OUR PRIVATE ONLINE COMMUNITY If you’re ready for support, structure, guidance, and community — this is where your next step begins.

Click here for more information - https://pelvic-pain-matters-community...

If you’re tired of going through pelvic pain alone, endlessly researching, or trying to piece everything together yourself, the Circle is where your recovery gets supported properly.

This is a private, off-social-media community for men who want:

✔ Real guidance (not random forum advice)

✔ A place to ask questions without embarrassment

✔ Consistent support during flare-ups and setbacks

✔ A structured way to learn, grow, and actually move forward

✔ Connection with men who get it — because they’re living it too

Inside the Circle, you’ll get: 🔹 Monthly success stories 🔹 Movement + mobility videos 🔹 Breathwork sessions 🔹 Pain understanding & recovery education 🔹 Tools to help you regulate your system, reduce uncertainty, and find steadier recovery

It’s the space I wish I had when I was in the darkest parts of pelvic pain. If you’re ready for support, structure, guidance, and community — this is where your next step begins.

Click here for more information - https://pelvic-pain-matters-community...

#PelvicPainMatters #MalePelvicPain #CPPS #PelvicPainRecovery #DopamineDetox #PainScience #MindBodyConnection #ChronicPainSupport #PelvicHealthForMen #PelvicFloorDysfunction #MenWithPelvicPain #PelvicPainHelp

In this bonus podcast Karl Monahan continues to take a look at factors beyond the pelvic floor in this complex condition. Continuing his series of looking at the brain as an integrated system Karl explores dopamine and its role in pleasure, and pain! he looks at unhelpful behaviours and our relationship with them in the onset to symptoms and their continuation.

Pt 1 of 2

These hints and tips are to help steer your recovery in pelvic pain. They are insights to help you understand what your re experiencing and why.

Here is the link to the FREE catastrophisation guide. Scroll down the page - https://www.pelvicpainmatters.com/fre...

This exciting new podcast is dedicated solely to male pelvic pain conditions - Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome and Chronic Prostatitis

Pelvic Pain Matters website - https://www.pelvicpainmatters.com/

The Pelvic Pain Clinic website - https://www.thepelvicpainclinic.co.uk/

Email Pelvic Pain Matters - [email protected]

Email clinic - [email protected]

#prostatitis #chronicpelvicpainsyndrome #chronicprostatitis #prostate #menshealth #malepelvicpain #recovery #support #urology #urologist #menshealthphysiotherapy #pelvichealth

In this episode, the co-founder of Pelvic Pain Matters, Karl Monahan, introduces us to "Anxious Alistair" - a character representing the anxious inner voice that can amplify pelvic pain symptoms. Monahan shares insights on how to recognise Anxious Alistair, understand his role, and manage his influence through mindfulness and facing fears. This episode provides practical tips for acknowledging and lessening the grip of anxiety during the pelvic pain journey. Key Takeaways:

• Anxious Alistair is a common inner voice that can worsen pelvic pain through catastrophising and fuelling the pain-anxiety cycle.

Featured Topics:

• The role of anxiety and the inner critic in pelvic pain

Connect with Pelvic Pain Matters:

Website: www.pelvicpainmatters.com

Instagram: @pelvicpainmatters

Facebook: /pelvicpainmatters

Email: [email protected]

#PelvicPainAnxiety #ManagingPelvicPainMindset #OvercomingPelvicPainFears #PelvicPain #pelvicpain #malepelvicpain #cpps #prostatitisrecovery #ChronicPelvicPainMentalHealth

The 90-Second Emotion Rule: Mastering Your Mood for Pelvic Pain Relief | Pelvic Pain Natters Ep. 52

Episode Overview In this Friday Takeaway episode of the Pelvic Pain Natters podcast, host Karl Monahan delves deeper into the role of the mind in pelvic pain conditions. Focusing on Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's groundbreaking work on the "90-second rule" of emotions and mood states, this episode offers crucial insights into emotional processing and its impact on pelvic pain management.

Key Takeaways Understanding the 90-Second Rule Emotions are brief, lasting only about 90 seconds Complex interplay of neurotransmitters and hormones drive emotional responses Mood states can persist much longer due to thought patterns and beliefs

Breaking the Cycle of Prolonged Mood States Recognising the difference between initial emotions and extended mood states Impact of negative bias and survival instincts on pain perception Techniques for interrupting negative thought patterns

Mindfulness: A Tool for Emotional Mastery Introduction to mindfulness practices for pain management Benefits of consistent meditation (10 minutes daily recommended) How mindfulness reduces the hold of negative emotions

The Mind-Body Connection in Pelvic Pain Whole-body approach to understanding and managing pelvic pain Integration of emotional and physical therapies Long-term strategies for symptom management and overall wellbeing

Expert Insights Karl Monahan draws on neuroscientific research, particularly the work of Harvard neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, to provide evidence-based strategies for emotion regulation in chronic pain management. Dr. Taylor's "90-second rule" forms the cornerstone of this episode's discussion on building self-control and managing pain more effectively.

Practical Applications Daily mindfulness practice techniques Self-assessment tools for emotional awareness Strategies to apply the 90-second rule in daily life Resources for

Further Learning

Book: "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris Book:

"Whole Brain Living" by Jill Bolte Taylor

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's TED Talks and website

Article: "The 90-Second Rule That Builds Self-Control" by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

About the Podcast Pelvic Pain Natters is dedicated to male pelvic pain conditions, including Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome and Chronic Prostatitis. It provides insights, hints, and tips to help steer recovery and understand the experiences associated with pelvic pain.

These bonus episodes offer deeper dives into specific aspects of pelvic pain management.

Connect With Us

Pelvic Pain Matters website: www.pelvicpainmatters.com

The Pelvic Pain Clinic website: https://www.thepelvicpainclinic.co.uk/

Instagram: @pelvicpainmatters

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PelvicPainMatters/

Email Pelvic Pain Matters: [email protected]

Email clinic: [email protected]

Keywords #PelvicPain #90SecondRule #EmotionRegulation #Mindfulness #MoodManagement #ChronicPain #MentalHealth #Neuroscience #MindBodyConnection #PainRelief #Prostatitis #ChronicPelvicPainSyndrome #ChronicProstatitis #Prostate #MensHealth #MalePelvicPain #Recovery #Support #Urology #Urologist #MensHealthPhysiotherapy #PelvicHealth

The Brain as a Google Search Result: Understanding Mind-Pain Connections | Pelvic Pain Natters Episode. 51

Episode Overview In this Friday Takeaway episode of the Pelvic Pain Natters podcast, host KarL Monahan explores the intricate relationship between the mind and pelvic pain conditions. Drawing on cognitive science concepts, Monahan introduces the idea of the brain functioning like a Google search result, prioritising potential threats and worst-case scenarios, especially in those with chronic pain.

Key Takeaways Understanding Brain Affordances How the brain presents options (affordances) based on environment and context The "Google search result" analogy for brain function The Mind's Role in Pain Perception The importance of considering mental factors without implying pain is "all in your head" How the brain's threat-detection bias affects pain experience

The Flight Example: Anticipatory Anxiety Detailed breakdown of how someone with pelvic pain might catastrophize about a flight Contrast between perceptions of those with and without chronic pain Broadening Perspectives on Outcomes Encouragement to consider more neutral or positive possibilities Reflection on past experiences often being less negative than anticipated

Practical Applications Techniques for challenging overly negative thought patterns Strategies for more balanced anticipation of events Expert Insights Karl Monahan draws on his experience as both a pelvic pain sufferer and a specialist to provide practical insights into the cognitive aspects of pain management. The episode emphasizes the integrated nature of mind and body in the pain experience.

About the Podcast Pelvic Pain Natters is dedicated to male pelvic pain conditions, including Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome and Chronic Prostatitis. It provides insights, hints, and tips to help steer recovery and understand the experiences associated with pelvic pain. These Friday Takeaway episodes offer concise, focused information on specific aspects of pelvic pain management.

Connect With Us

Pelvic Pain Matters website: www.pelvicpainmatters.com

The Pelvic Pain Clinic website: https://www.thepelvicpainclinic.co.uk/

Instagram: @pelvicpainmatters

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PelvicPainMatters/

Email Pelvic Pain Matters: [email protected]

Email clinic: [email protected]

Keywords #PelvicPain #MindBodyConnection #CognitiveBias #PainPerception #ChronicPain #MentalHealth #Neuroscience #AnticipationAnxiety #PainManagement #Prostatitis #ChronicPelvicPainSyndrome #MensHealth #MalePelvicPain #Recovery #Support #PelvicHealth

In this bonus podcast Karl Monahan celebrates our 50th podcast episode! We made it. We got this far. Thank you for your support. We want to continue doing these.

Can you help us reach a wider audience @pelvicpainmatters

These hints and tips are to help steer your recovery in pelvic pain. They are insights to help you understand what you are experiencing and why.

This exciting new podcast is dedicated solely to male pelvic pain conditions - Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome and Chronic Prostatitis

Pelvic Pain Matters website - https://www.pelvicpainmatters.com/

The Pelvic Pain Clinic website - https://www.thepelvicpainclinic.co.uk/

Email Pelvic Pain Matters - [email protected]

Email clinic - [email protected]

#prostatitis #chronicpelvicpainsyndrome #chronicprostatitis #prostate #menshealth #malepelvicpain #recovery #support #urology #urologist #menshealthphysiotherapy #pelvichealth

In this bonus podcast Karl Monahan continues to dive a little deeper into flare ups. Karl reflects on the comparison between flare ups and burn out. He looks at the presentation of burn out. He looks at the causes of burn out and why the comparison may help unpack the causes of a flare up.

These hints and tips are to help steer your recovery in pelvic pain. They are insights to help you understand what you are experiencing and why. This exciting new podcast is dedicated solely to male pelvic pain conditions - Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome and Chronic Prostatitis

Pelvic Pain Matters website - https://www.pelvicpainmatters.com/

The Pelvic Pain Clinic website - https://www.thepelvicpainclinic.co.uk/

Email Pelvic Pain Matters - [email protected]

Email clinic - [email protected] #prostatitis #chronicpelvicpainsyndrome #chronicprostatitis #prostate #menshealth #malepelvicpain #recovery #support #urology #urologist #menshealthphysiotherapy #pelvichealth