People don't f*ck me, I f*ck them – Shasta

Shasta is a 45-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as Canadian First Nation/Cree, heterosexual, monogamous, and married to her husband who she has been with for 20 years. Major themes in this episode include balance of power in heterosexual relationships, bedroom boredom in a long-term relationship, and working to heal childhood issues as an adult You can find Shasta online at www.ShastaTownsend.com. Her book, Happy, Sexy, Shameless – What Our Mother’s Didn’t Know About the Birds and the Bees, is available at Amazon. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 5:30 – Her first memory of sexual pleasure, masturbating at age 4 8:00 – The challenge of overcoming staleness in the marriage bed 9:30 – Rediscovering masturbation as an adult 10:30 – Encountering shame and childhood trauma when her husband requested new sexual explorations 12:45 – What she learned as a child about being a “good girl” 15:00 – The messages we hear about being a smart and outspoken female 17:00 – Using sexual dominance as a protective measure, sexual prowess as power over men 21:00 – The cultural balance in wanting men to pursue women and ask for things vs. men being perceived as aggressive/entitled 25:00 – Shasta’s experience with body image—being the “smart one” but also flaunting/accentuating what you have 32:00 – Trying new things with her husband to break barriers around shame and stories   The Lowdown (34:40): What kind of touch do you enjoy most? What is something sexual you’ve done that you never want to do again? Do you have hair down there or are you bare? Have you ever had a threesome or more? Have you ever had public sex?   The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Shasta talks more about her First Nation/Indigenous background and what it was like to grow up as a mixed race child in Canada. She also talks about the messages she heard about being a “good girl.” At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A; At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex. If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2. Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak