People's Church

Winning in Marriage

I Corinthians 15:57

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

I Defined my role as a wife and fulfilled it

I Realized that My Spouse is not My God

I Stopped Sweating the Small Stuff

I placed a value on covenant

I began to see her how God sees her

We got around other couples who had strong marriages

I Corinthians 15:57

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Winning in Marriage

I Corinthians 15:57

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

I Defined my role as a wife and fulfilled it

I Realized that My Spouse is not My God

I Stopped Sweating the Small Stuff

I placed a value on covenant

I began to see her how God sees her

We got around other couples who had strong marriages

I Corinthians 15:57

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

5 Ways To Win In Dating

1. Do not play the dating game

Judges 15:1-2 Later on, at the time of wheat harvest, Samson took a young goat and went to visit his wife. He said, "I'm going to my wife's room." But her father would not let him go in. 2 "I was so sure you thoroughly hated her," he said, "that I gave her to your friend. Isn't her younger sister more attractive? Take her instead.(NIV)

Judges 16:1 One day Samson went to Gaza, where he saw a prostitute. He went in to spend the night with her. (NIV)

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. (NIV)

2. Do not sleep around

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you

will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— 5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do

not know God and his ways. (NLT)

1 Corinthians 6:18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. (NLT)

1 John 1:9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us

from all wickedness. (NLT)

3. Take time to get to know the person

Judges 16:4-5 Some time later, he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek whose name was Delilah. 5 The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, "See if you can lure him into showing you the secret of his great strength and how we can overpower him so we may tie him up and subdue him. Each one of us will give you eleven hundred shekels of silver." (NIV)

DATING CHECKLIST

1. Are they a Christ Follower?

2 Corinthians 6:14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner

with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? (NLT)

2. Do you share the same core values? 

3. Can you negotiate differences? 

4. How does the person handle conflict?

5. How do they handle challenging or difficult relationships?

6. How do they handle suffering, loss and grief?

7. How do they interact and treat their family and friends?

8. How do they handle money?

9. How do they respond when they’re hungry, angry, tired, hurting and lonely?

10. What is their daily outlook on life?

Winning Advice When Getting To Know Someone

1. Do not ignore the red flags

2. Do not believe issues will automatically work themselves out over time

3. Do not believe that you will change the person

4. Seek out godly and wise counsel

Proverbs 4:5 Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get

understanding. (NIV)

Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:1 Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. (NIV)

Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. (NIV)

Judges 16:15-16 Then she said to him, "How can you say, 'I love you,' when you won't confide in me? This

is the third time you have made a fool of me and haven't told me the secret of your great strength." 16 With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death. (NIV)

5. Be it so you can receive it

Numbers 6:5-6 "During the entire period of his vow of separation no razor may be used on his head. He must be holy until the period of his separation to the Lord is over; he must let the hair of his head grow long. 6 Throughout the period of his separation to the Lord he must not go near a dead body.

Judges 14:8-9 Some time later, when he went back to marry her, he turned aside to look at the lion's carcass. In it was a swarm of bees and some honey, 9 which he scooped out with his hands and ate as he went along. When he rejoined his parents, he gave them some, and they too ate it. But he did not tell them that he had taken the honey from the lion's carcass. (NIV)

5 Ways To Win In Dating

1. Do not play the dating game

Judges 15:1-2 Later on, at the time of wheat harvest, Samson took a young goat and went to visit his wife. He said, "I'm going to my wife's room." But her father would not let him go in. 2 "I was so sure you thoroughly hated her," he said, "that I gave her to your friend. Isn't her younger sister more attractive? Take her instead.(NIV)

Judges 16:1 One day Samson went to Gaza, where he saw a prostitute. He went in to spend the night with her. (NIV)

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. (NIV)

2. Do not sleep around

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you

will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— 5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do

not know God and his ways. (NLT)

1 Corinthians 6:18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. (NLT)

1 John 1:9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us

from all wickedness. (NLT)

3. Take time to get to know the person

Judges 16:4-5 Some time later, he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek whose name was Delilah. 5 The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, "See if you can lure him into showing you the secret of his great strength and how we can overpower him so we may tie him up and subdue him. Each one of us will give you eleven hundred shekels of silver." (NIV)

DATING CHECKLIST

1. Are they a Christ Follower?

2 Corinthians 6:14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner

with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? (NLT)

2. Do you share the same core values? 

3. Can you negotiate differences? 

4. How does the person handle conflict?

5. How do they handle challenging or difficult relationships?

6. How do they handle suffering, loss and grief?

7. How do they interact and treat their family and friends?

8. How do they handle money?

9. How do they respond when they’re hungry, angry, tired, hurting and lonely?

10. What is their daily outlook on life?

Winning Advice When Getting To Know Someone

1. Do not ignore the red flags

2. Do not believe issues will automatically work themselves out over time

3. Do not believe that you will change the person

4. Seek out godly and wise counsel

Proverbs 4:5 Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get

understanding. (NIV)

Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:1 Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. (NIV)

Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. (NIV)

Judges 16:15-16 Then she said to him, "How can you say, 'I love you,' when you won't confide in me? This

is the third time you have made a fool of me and haven't told me the secret of your great strength." 16 With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death. (NIV)

5. Be it so you can receive it

Numbers 6:5-6 "During the entire period of his vow of separation no razor may be used on his head. He must be holy until the period of his separation to the Lord is over; he must let the hair of his head grow long. 6 Throughout the period of his separation to the Lord he must not go near a dead body.

Judges 14:8-9 Some time later, when he went back to marry her, he turned aside to look at the lion's carcass. In it was a swarm of bees and some honey, 9 which he scooped out with his hands and ate as he went along. When he rejoined his parents, he gave them some, and they too ate it. But he did not tell them that he had taken the honey from the lion's carcass. (NIV)

1 Corinthians 9:24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run

to win! (NLT)

Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is

not quickly broken. (NIV)

Proverbs 18:24 There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

(NLT)

Proverbs 12:26 The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

(NIV)

3 Qualities of a Winning Friend

Mark 2:2–5 Soon the house where he was staying was so packed with visitors that there was no more room,

even outside the door. While he was preaching God’s word to them, 3  four men arrived carrying a paralyzed

man on a mat. 4  They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, so they dug a hole through the roof

above his head. Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus. 5  Seeing their faith,

Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “My child, your sins are forgiven.” (NLT)

1. Winning friends help you through challenges

Proverbs 18:24 There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

(NLT)

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. (NIV)

Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (NIV)

Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (NIV)

Ruth 1:16   But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will

go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. (NIV)

2. Winning friends make you better

1. They make you better because they believe in you

2. They make you better because they give you wise counsel

Proverbs 27:9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. (NLT)

3. They make you better because they sharpen you

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. (NLT)

4. They make you better because they will speak the truth to you in love

Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (NIV)

5. They make you better because they will pick you up when you fall down

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10   Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10  If either of

them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

(NIV)

3. Winning friends keep bringing you to be closer to Jesus

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (NIV)

Proverbs 22:24–25 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily

angered, 25  or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared. (NIV)

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (NIV)

1 Corinthians 9:24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run

to win! (NLT)

Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is

not quickly broken. (NIV)

Proverbs 18:24 There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

(NLT)

Proverbs 12:26 The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

(NIV)

3 Qualities of a Winning Friend

Mark 2:2–5 Soon the house where he was staying was so packed with visitors that there was no more room,

even outside the door. While he was preaching God’s word to them, 3  four men arrived carrying a paralyzed

man on a mat. 4  They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, so they dug a hole through the roof

above his head. Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus. 5  Seeing their faith,

Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “My child, your sins are forgiven.” (NLT)

1. Winning friends help you through challenges

Proverbs 18:24 There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

(NLT)

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. (NIV)

Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (NIV)

Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (NIV)

Ruth 1:16   But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will

go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. (NIV)

2. Winning friends make you better

1. They make you better because they believe in you

2. They make you better because they give you wise counsel

Proverbs 27:9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. (NLT)

3. They make you better because they sharpen you

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. (NLT)

4. They make you better because they will speak the truth to you in love

Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (NIV)

5. They make you better because they will pick you up when you fall down

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10   Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10  If either of

them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

(NIV)

3. Winning friends keep bringing you to be closer to Jesus

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (NIV)

Proverbs 22:24–25 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily

angered, 25  or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared. (NIV)

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (NIV)

1 Corinthians 9:24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So

run to win! (NLT)

Romans 7:15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do

what I hate. (NLT)

Romans 7:24-25 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin

and death?  25  Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I

really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (NLT)

1. Start small

Luke 16:10 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest

in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. (NLT)

Zechariah 4:10 “do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to

see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand” (NLT)

2. Start with a plan

Proverbs 21:5 Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind.

(MSG)

2 Techniques To A Winning Plan

1. Habit switching

Ephesians 4:28 If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then

give generously to others in need. (NLT)

Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types

of evil behavior.  32  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God

through Christ has forgiven you. (NLT)

Ephesians 5:18-19 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with

the Holy Spirit,  19  singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making

music to the Lord in your hearts. (NLT)

2. Habit stacking

Colossians 4:2–3   Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. 3  Pray for

us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning

Christ. That is why I am here in chains. (NLT)

Matthew 28:19–20 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name

of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20  Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands

I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (NLT)

3. Start with somebody

Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands

is not quickly broken. (NIV)

Hebrews 10:24-25 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25  And

let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now

that the day of his return is drawing near. (NLT)

4. Start and stay steady

Proverbs 19:2 Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good; haste makes mistakes. (NLT)

1 Corinthians 9:24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So

run to win! (NLT)

Romans 7:15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do

what I hate. (NLT)

Romans 7:24-25 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin

and death?  25  Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I

really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (NLT)

1. Start small

Luke 16:10 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest

in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. (NLT)

Zechariah 4:10 “do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to

see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand” (NLT)

2. Start with a plan

Proverbs 21:5 Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind.

(MSG)

2 Techniques To A Winning Plan

1. Habit switching

Ephesians 4:28 If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then

give generously to others in need. (NLT)

Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types

of evil behavior.  32  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God

through Christ has forgiven you. (NLT)

Ephesians 5:18-19 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with

the Holy Spirit,  19  singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making

music to the Lord in your hearts. (NLT)

2. Habit stacking

Colossians 4:2–3   Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. 3  Pray for

us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning

Christ. That is why I am here in chains. (NLT)

Matthew 28:19–20 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name

of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20  Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands

I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (NLT)

3. Start with somebody

Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands

is not quickly broken. (NIV)

Hebrews 10:24-25 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25  And

let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now

that the day of his return is drawing near. (NLT)

4. Start and stay steady

Proverbs 19:2 Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good; haste makes mistakes. (NLT)

1 Corinthians 9:24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So

run to win! (NLT)

Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not

with you (NKJV)

Hosea 4:6 my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. “Because you have rejected knowledge, I also

reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children.

(NIV)

4 Strategies To Thinking Like A Winner

1. You must identify unhealthy thought patterns

1. Doubting thoughts

James 1:6-8 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a

wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  7  That person should not expect to receive anything from

the Lord.  8  Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. (NIV)

2. Anxious and worried thoughts

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with

thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (NIV)

3. Critical thoughts

Matthew 9:3-4 At this, some of the teachers of the law said to themselves, “This fellow is

blaspheming!” 4  Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said, “Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your

hearts? (NIV)

4. Sinful thoughts

Romans 8:6 So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control

your mind leads to life and peace. (NLT)

5. Selfish thoughts

James 3:16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil

practice. (NIV)

2. Capture unhealthy thoughts

2 Corinthians 10:5   We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge

of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (NIV)

3. Renew unhealthy thoughts

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your

mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect

will. (NIV)

4. Set your thinking on healthy thoughts

Romans 8:5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but

those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. (NIV)

Colossians 3:2   Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (NIV)

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or

praiseworthy—think about such things. (NIV)

1 Corinthians 9:24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So

run to win! (NLT)

Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not

with you (NKJV)

Hosea 4:6 my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. “Because you have rejected knowledge, I also

reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children.

(NIV)

4 Strategies To Thinking Like A Winner

1. You must identify unhealthy thought patterns

1. Doubting thoughts

James 1:6-8 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a

wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  7  That person should not expect to receive anything from

the Lord.  8  Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. (NIV)

2. Anxious and worried thoughts

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with

thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (NIV)

3. Critical thoughts

Matthew 9:3-4 At this, some of the teachers of the law said to themselves, “This fellow is

blaspheming!” 4  Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said, “Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your

hearts? (NIV)

4. Sinful thoughts

Romans 8:6 So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control

your mind leads to life and peace. (NLT)

5. Selfish thoughts

James 3:16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil

practice. (NIV)

2. Capture unhealthy thoughts

2 Corinthians 10:5   We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge

of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (NIV)

3. Renew unhealthy thoughts

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your

mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect

will. (NIV)

4. Set your thinking on healthy thoughts

Romans 8:5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but

those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. (NIV)

Colossians 3:2   Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (NIV)

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or

praiseworthy—think about such things. (NIV)