People's Church

THE PHASES OF PARENTING

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (NKJV)

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: (NIV)

1. Discipline Phase (0-5)

Hebrews 12:5-11 - And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a] 7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (NIV)

Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire. (NIV)

2. Training Phase (5-12)

1. Negative training

2. Positive training

1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (NIV)

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (NIV)

“Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best.” Bob Talbert

1 Corinthians 11:1 Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. (NIV)

3. Coaching Phase (12-18)

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (NIV)

4. Friendship Phase (19 and beyond)

Parenting Hacks: THE GOAL OF PARENTING

1. The goal of parenting is to mine the treasure out of your kids

Proverbs 15:6 The house of the righteous contains great treasure, but the income of the wicked brings ruin. (NIV)

Psalm 127:3–5  Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. 4 Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. 5 How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates. (NLT)

3 Parenting Philosophies

1. The Authoritarian Style

Colossians 3:21 Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits. (The Message)

1 Samuel 20:30-34 Saul boiled with rage at Jonathan. "You stupid son of a whore!" he swore at him. "Do you think I don't know that you want him to be king in your place, shaming yourself and your mother? As long as that son of Jesse is alive, you’ll never be king. Now go and get him so I can kill him!”32 “But why should he be put to death?” Jonathan asked his father. “What has he done?” 33 Then Saul hurled his spear at Jonathan, intending to kill him. So at last Jonathan realized that his father was really determined to kill David.34 Jonathan left the table in fierce anger and refused to eat on that second day of the festival, for he was crushed by his father’s shameful behavior toward David. (NLT)

2. The Permissive Style

1 Samuel 2:12 Now the sons of Eli were scoundrels who had no respect for the Lord (NLT) (The thing that I want you to notice as we continue to read about Eli’s sons is how Eli was permissive. He allowed it. He was a passive parent)

1 Samuel 2:17 So the sin of these young men was very serious in the Lord’s sight, for they treated the Lord’s offerings with contempt. NLT)

1 Samuel 2:22 Now Eli was very old, but he was aware of what his sons were doing to the people of Israel. He knew, for instance, that his sons were seducing the young women who assisted at the entrance of the Tabernacle. (NLT)

I Samuel 3:11-13  Then the Lord said to Samuel, “I am about to do a shocking thing in Israel. 12 I am going to carry out all my threats against Eli and his family, from beginning to end. 13 I have warned him that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn’t disciplined them.  (NLT)

3. The Biblical Style

Ezekiel 36:26 And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. (NLT)

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (NIV)

Parenting Hacks: THE GOAL OF PARENTING

1. The goal of parenting is to mine the treasure out of your kids

Proverbs 15:6 The house of the righteous contains great treasure, but the income of the wicked brings ruin. (NIV)

Psalm 127:3–5  Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. 4 Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. 5 How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates. (NLT)

3 Parenting Philosophies

1. The Authoritarian Style

Colossians 3:21 Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits. (The Message)

1 Samuel 20:30-34 Saul boiled with rage at Jonathan. "You stupid son of a whore!" he swore at him. "Do you think I don't know that you want him to be king in your place, shaming yourself and your mother? As long as that son of Jesse is alive, you’ll never be king. Now go and get him so I can kill him!”32 “But why should he be put to death?” Jonathan asked his father. “What has he done?” 33 Then Saul hurled his spear at Jonathan, intending to kill him. So at last Jonathan realized that his father was really determined to kill David.34 Jonathan left the table in fierce anger and refused to eat on that second day of the festival, for he was crushed by his father’s shameful behavior toward David. (NLT)

2. The Permissive Style

1 Samuel 2:12 Now the sons of Eli were scoundrels who had no respect for the Lord (NLT) (The thing that I want you to notice as we continue to read about Eli’s sons is how Eli was permissive. He allowed it. He was a passive parent)

1 Samuel 2:17 So the sin of these young men was very serious in the Lord’s sight, for they treated the Lord’s offerings with contempt. NLT)

1 Samuel 2:22 Now Eli was very old, but he was aware of what his sons were doing to the people of Israel. He knew, for instance, that his sons were seducing the young women who assisted at the entrance of the Tabernacle. (NLT)

I Samuel 3:11-13  Then the Lord said to Samuel, “I am about to do a shocking thing in Israel. 12 I am going to carry out all my threats against Eli and his family, from beginning to end. 13 I have warned him that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn’t disciplined them.  (NLT)

3. The Biblical Style

Ezekiel 36:26 And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. (NLT)

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (NIV)

The Blood | Herbert Cooper

Hebrews 9:11–12 So Christ has now become the High Priest over all the good things that have come. He has entered that greater, more perfect Tabernacle in heaven, which was not made by human hands and is not part of this created world. 12 With his own blood—not the blood of goats and calves—he entered the Most Holy Place once for all time and secured our redemption forever. (NLT)

Hebrews 9:12 With his own blood—not the blood of goats and calves—he entered the Most Holy Place once for all time and secured our redemption forever. (NLT)

Leviticus 17:11 for the life of the body is in its blood. I have given you the blood on the altar to purify you, making you right with the Lord. It is the blood, given in exchange for a life, that makes purification possible. (NLT)

Hebrews 9:22 In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. (NIV)

Romans 3:25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, (NLT)

Hebrews 9:12 With his own blood—not the blood of goats and calves—he entered the Most Holy Place once for all time and secured our redemption forever. (NLT)

Leviticus 16:34 “This is to be a lasting ordinance for you: Atonement is to be made once a year for all the sins of the Israelites.” And it was done, as the Lord commanded Moses. (NIV)

The Blood | Herbert Cooper

Hebrews 9:11–12 So Christ has now become the High Priest over all the good things that have come. He has entered that greater, more perfect Tabernacle in heaven, which was not made by human hands and is not part of this created world. 12 With his own blood—not the blood of goats and calves—he entered the Most Holy Place once for all time and secured our redemption forever. (NLT)

Hebrews 9:12 With his own blood—not the blood of goats and calves—he entered the Most Holy Place once for all time and secured our redemption forever. (NLT)

Leviticus 17:11 for the life of the body is in its blood. I have given you the blood on the altar to purify you, making you right with the Lord. It is the blood, given in exchange for a life, that makes purification possible. (NLT)

Hebrews 9:22 In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. (NIV)

Romans 3:25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, (NLT)

Hebrews 9:12 With his own blood—not the blood of goats and calves—he entered the Most Holy Place once for all time and secured our redemption forever. (NLT)

Leviticus 16:34 “This is to be a lasting ordinance for you: Atonement is to be made once a year for all the sins of the Israelites.” And it was done, as the Lord commanded Moses. (NIV)

Fish Eyed Fool | Herbert Cooper

Proverbs 3:35 The wise inherit honor, but fools get only shame. (NIV)

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (NIV)

Proverbs 10:8 The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin. (NIV)

4 Top Foolish Behaviors of a Fool

1. Fools settle for complacency

Proverbs 1:32 For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; (NIV)

Proverbs 19:24 Lazy people take food in their hand but don’t even lift it to their mouth. (NLT)

Proverbs 21:25 Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work.

(NLT)

Proverbs 22:13 The lazy person claims, “There’s a lion out there! If I go outside, I might be killed!” (NLT)

Proverbs 13:4 Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper. (NLT)

2.  Fools have an unteachable heart

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (NIV)

Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. (NIV)

Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. (NIV)

3. Fools are quick tempered

Proverbs 20:3 It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (NIV)

Proverbs 12:16 A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted. (NLT)

Proverbs 29:11 Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. (NIV)

4. Fools remain in their sin

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. (NIV)

Proverbs 14:9 Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is favor. (NKJ)

Proverbs 10:23 A fool finds pleasure in wicked schemes, but a person of understanding delights in wisdom. (NIV)

Proverbs 17:12 Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs, Rather than a fool in his folly. (NKJV)

Proverbs 17:12 It is safer to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than to confront a fool caught in foolishness. (NLT)

Fish Eyed Fool | Herbert Cooper

Proverbs 3:35 The wise inherit honor, but fools get only shame. (NIV)

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (NIV)

Proverbs 10:8 The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin. (NIV)

4 Top Foolish Behaviors of a Fool

1. Fools settle for complacency

Proverbs 1:32 For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; (NIV)

Proverbs 19:24 Lazy people take food in their hand but don’t even lift it to their mouth. (NLT)

Proverbs 21:25 Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work.

(NLT)

Proverbs 22:13 The lazy person claims, “There’s a lion out there! If I go outside, I might be killed!” (NLT)

Proverbs 13:4 Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper. (NLT)

2.  Fools have an unteachable heart

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (NIV)

Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. (NIV)

Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. (NIV)

3. Fools are quick tempered

Proverbs 20:3 It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (NIV)

Proverbs 12:16 A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted. (NLT)

Proverbs 29:11 Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. (NIV)

4. Fools remain in their sin

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. (NIV)

Proverbs 14:9 Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is favor. (NKJ)

Proverbs 10:23 A fool finds pleasure in wicked schemes, but a person of understanding delights in wisdom. (NIV)

Proverbs 17:12 Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs, Rather than a fool in his folly. (NKJV)

Proverbs 17:12 It is safer to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than to confront a fool caught in foolishness. (NLT)

A Spiritual Heart Attack | Herbert Cooper

Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (NIV)

Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. (NIV)

Proverbs 27:19 As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart. (NIV)

1. Guard your heart with the Word of God

Proverbs 4:20-22 My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. 21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. (NIV)

Proverbs 22:17-18 Pay attention and turn your ear to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach, for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips. (NIV)

Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. (NIV)

2. Guard your mouth

Proverbs 4:24 Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. (NIV)

Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. (NIV)

Proverbs 16:23 The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction. (NIV)

3. Guard your eyes

Proverbs 4:25 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. (NIV)

Proverbs 23:26 My son, give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways, (NIV)

Matthew 6:22–23 “Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. 23 But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is! (NLT)

4. Guard your steps

Proverbs 4:26–27 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.

27 Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:10–12 Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. 11 I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. 12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:14–15 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. 15 Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way. (NIV)

Proverbs 23:19-21 Listen, my son, and be wise, and set your heart on the right path: 20 Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, 21 for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags. (NIV)

A Spiritual Heart Attack | Herbert Cooper

Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (NIV)

Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. (NIV)

Proverbs 27:19 As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart. (NIV)

1. Guard your heart with the Word of God

Proverbs 4:20-22 My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. 21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. (NIV)

Proverbs 22:17-18 Pay attention and turn your ear to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach, for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips. (NIV)

Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. (NIV)

2. Guard your mouth

Proverbs 4:24 Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. (NIV)

Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. (NIV)

Proverbs 16:23 The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction. (NIV)

3. Guard your eyes

Proverbs 4:25 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. (NIV)

Proverbs 23:26 My son, give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways, (NIV)

Matthew 6:22–23 “Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. 23 But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is! (NLT)

4. Guard your steps

Proverbs 4:26–27 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.

27 Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:10–12 Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. 11 I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. 12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. (NIV)

Proverbs 4:14–15 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. 15 Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way. (NIV)

Proverbs 23:19-21 Listen, my son, and be wise, and set your heart on the right path: 20 Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, 21 for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags. (NIV)

People's Church of OKC is a multi-cultural church designed with you in mind. Senior Pastor, Herbert Cooper.