Latter Day Struggles

Episode 102: Personal Battles with Fear and Shame Due to LDS Eternal Marriage Theology

03.10.2023 - By Valerie HamakerPlay

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In this final autobiographical portion of this series focusing on the complexities of the LDS eternal marriage doctrine, Valerie and Nathan reflect on their own relationships with fear and shame as driving forces in their own formative years.

This conversation spans several topics including fears around single-hood (and the deep psychological wounds inflicted by the current doctrine on LDS singles) and fears that one's formal relationship with the church (oddly, not with each other and not God…) could rip otherwise deeply loving and bonded families apart as well as estrange heavenly parents from their children.

Also of significance, they explore the possibility that fear (not love...) might be a primary means by which the institution motivates belief, loyalty, and compliance. Losing one’s dearest loved ones FOREVER is, after all, a pretty scary idea…and one that might motivate just about anyone to do/believe just about anything. The salient point here, is that love can bond us to each other, God, and love-infused Christian doctrine in ways that fear and shame NEVER CAN. And when motivated by love, we (humans and institutions) become more and more like the loving God who created us and daily nurtures us. Next up in this series: several touching interviews with individuals uniquely impacted and shaped (and currently reshaping for themselves) the LDS Eternal marriage theology.

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