PHIL: Respect. Like many words, it has come to have several meanings. There is deference: you should respect your parents or pay your respects to someone. But in a relationship, it has a different meaning. When we started to talk …

Why Respect is Important for Creating Peaceful Relationships Read More »

When we write these posts, we sit down, talk together, then write separately. This offers you the same subject from two different perspectives with a certain amount of overlap. PHIL: We usually pick what to write about by looking at …

How to Find Joy, Peace and Inner Strength Through Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: It was recently our 20th anniversary of meeting (and a joyous celebration it was!), and Phil and I were talking about the components of our relationship and other deep relationships with friends and family. The flavor of those peaceful …

Why Peaceful Relationships Depend on What You Do and Don’t Do Read More »

MAUDE: Recently, Phil and I and another friend attended a gathering to listen to our government representatives talk about the current situation. It was held a few blocks from where we live, here in Santa Barbara, CA. As we walked …

Why It’s Important to Relate to Community as Well as Individuals Read More »

MAUDE: Phil shared a thought last night: “Why get cross with anyone? You will only have to fix it later. It’s like knocking over a vase of flowers because you don’t like the arrangement. You’ll just have to mop up …

Embracing Acceptance: How to Let Go of Annoyances in Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: In these challenging and turbulent times, it is important to fill your moments with presence; to be calmly, lovingly present. One of the best ways to do that is through your relationships. Stay connected; put extra attention and effort …

Rely on Relationships to Stay Sane in an Insane World Read More »

PHIL: We were talking about the role of acknowledgment in relationships. At basis, it’s a recognition that the other person exists. You are saying “I see you”, which is incredibly affirming. It’s more than saying “Oh, there you are”; it’s …

Why Acknowledgment is Like a Magic Charm for Relationships Read More »

Here’s a conversation we had that illustrates how you can connect without a negative charge on a topic that could be loaded. PHIL: I think this might be the perfect time to talk about something that happened a few days …

How to Let Conflicts Go Until You Can Talk Without Charge Read More »

MAUDE: Last week, Phil had a big birthday. I had been thinking of how to celebrate him for many months, and had made numerous suggestions to him for grandiose celebrations, parties and trips. He never responded with the least enthusiasm …

Pay Attention – It’s How to Best Support Each Other Read More »

PHIL: It may seem obvious; of course you talk to your partner. But lots of conversations are about the shopping or politics or how bad the traffic was, while there can be a whole interior monologue going on that never …

Just Talk to Each Other – It’s That Simple Read More »