Philosophy? WTF??

There’s no business like show business, there’s no business I know! Yes, this week listen in as Mike and Danny strut and fret their hour upon the stage. Are we nothing but wastrels, slatterns and ne'er-do-wells or glittering celebrities admired and envied by the masses? If all the world really is a stage then are we constantly pretending to be who we are simply to be what we are? Yes, the pressure to perform weighs heavily upon us all but who writes the script and provides the costumes? Are there awards? Have we all become type cast? I don’t know about you guys, but I need to talk to my agent.

This week you say potato and I say er...potato (no it doesn't really work when written down does it?). Yes, who is to say which one of us is right? This week Danny and Mike pitch their stall in the WTF farmers market and seek to tempt you with there virtuous produce. Lovely juicy honesty, ripe courage, only £1 a scoop, plump self-sacrifice picked fresh today! But what's this? Another stall has pitched up trying to undercut us with their over ripe greed and past its best self serving duplicity, what a cheek! Who would choose such shabby goods as these when compared to our dew fresh selection eh? Er...no...come back...perhaps we can arrange a discount...

This week listen in as Mike and Danny give up and simply do what works. Yes, it’s enlightened self interest time here where what is right plays second fiddle to what happens to do the job. Yes, it’s big fish verses bigger fish in the turbulent waters of ethical theory as we carefully avoid gobbling up the tiny clown fish just in case it happens to be good friends with a gang of whale sharks. I mean, where are the gods when you genuinely need someone around to make an absolute judgement about something? Everything counts in large amounts, right? All this plus a shout out to Sorren the archaeologist. Don’t blame us, we aren’t responsible, it was the devil that made us do it… or society… or my upbringing … but not us, never us, we had no choice in the matter, no choice at all. Anyway, everyone’s doing it.

Join us as Danny presents his virtue for all to see. Go on, have a good long look, take a photo, it will last longer. Meanwhile, and across town, Mike is prepared to settle for simply appearing virtuous. As long as people consider us to be “good people” does it matter if we actually are? Why do even bastards prefer not to be seen as bastards? Why do politicians still make the effort to appear to be decent human beings rather than just own their sleazy and duplicitous characters? Yes, this week listen in as Mike and Danny struggle to reject the One Ring even though they would, without a doubt, use it for good. I mean, you don’t get Darth Vader trying to argue that he is, basically, a misunderstood good guy or Sauron going on about his charity work. These are the bad guys and they embrace it - they dress in black, they have the whole red eye thing going on and they step on bunnies and small children. If virtue is appropriate to the object of virtue then perhaps a virtuous politician is Machiavelli’s Prince? All this and whether baking flapjacks is more virtuous than beating someone up in the street for their phone. Wtf?? - bad to the bone, right?

This week, listen in as Mike finally confesses to delusions of godhood and his complicity in a slew of failed student relationships. How many cooks does it really take to spoil the broth? Who actually still eats broth these days?? Yes, the recipe for the perfect life, too much salt and the whole thing goes straight into the bin. Join us as we work through the spice rack of virtue - a little bit of honesty, a smidge of courage and the merest soupçon of temperance. Ok, now little it simmer gently for a few… GENTLY FOR GODS SAKE! DON’T BOIL THE CRAP OUT OF IT, YOU’LL SPOIL IT! … Ah, it’s too late now. Oh well, back to the drawing board. Virtue is like oxygen, right? You get too much you get too high, not enough and you’re gonna die. Or is that love? Sounds pretty Sweet either way, right?

This week join Mike and Danny as they ... well, just hang out, nothing more than that really. I mean, Danny pops down the shops for a few bits but other than that nothing much to see this week. Seriously, we've decided to take it easy for the week, you'll need to make your own entertainment. Alternatively, you could join us both as we scream into the void, probably sometime after lunch idk

This week join Mike and Danny as they throw their past selves under the bus. No, that’s not me, it might look vaguely reminiscent (apart from the hair) but other than that I have never set eyes on ether of those guys before. Can we ever go home again? How does Mike's mum still recognise him? Do all of Danny's former romantic partners look on in horror at what he has become and utter that well known phrase, “what WAS I thinking??” Yes, at the existential school reunion who actually attends? All of this and Pythagoras thrown in just to make up the numbers. Oh what fun we had but did it really turn out bad?

This week, what happens when worlds collide? Do they both erupt in twin fire balls spinning off into the void as a sleek silver space ship cuts its way through the darkness on its way to a new home and a fresh start? Does encounter with otherness and difference inevitably lead to a diminution of the very essence of who and what we are? I mean, you said you wouldn’t try to change me but here we are, years down the line with your curtain fabric and furnishings throughout the house and all my stuff boxed up and in the loft! Well enough is enough, I don’t accept things as they are anymore, it’s time for a change… then again, isn’t that how this whole business started in the first place? No, you’re right, it’s time for a fresh start, all my shit SHOULD go in the bin, now is the time to reset and rewrite the script. All this and Danny, "the arse man”, compromising his eternal digital footprint for the ages. Am I living in a box, am I living in a cardboard box?

"What kind of fool do you think I am? You think I know nothing of the modern world? Well, this week, let Danny and Mike prove you wrong! Join us as we ask the question - do we really need to change? What’s the matter with the old ways? Why can’t we ever be content with things as thy are. What is baby and what is bathwater? Is it your kids, Marty? Are our progeny the capsules into which we pour the essential, unchangeable aspects of our reality and fire them off into the future? Say what you like ‘cause I don’t care, I know where I am and going too. It’s somewhere I won’t preview, don’t have to explain myself to you …”

This week, what have the gods ever done for us? Join Mike and Danny in Thales hot tub where everything is water but full of bubbles and not always the good kind. Yes, it’s time to get back to basics, strip away the unnecessary and discover the very foundations of reality. Will you do the necessary prep work, sand down, clean and fill all those annoying little holes and cracks or will you simply slap a coat of paint on over the dirt and hope for the best? We, of course, plan to build our city on rock n roll - Danny knows a guy who can hook us up wholesale, totally legit.