Philosophy? WTF??

This week - do we really want the truth? What would we do with it? Better a comfortable lie, right? Consider, if you will, the existential anguish of the “extensive menu” - do we get incapacitated by indecision the more options we are given? What would you prefer, Mike’s Spam Egg & Chips, Spam and Chips or just plain Spam OR will you go for Danny’s 150 dish tasting menu with a selection of starters and deserts? Will you be lusting after what other people have ordered once the food arrives anyway? Is ethics simply a matter of smacking people over the nose with a rolled up newspaper when they pee on the carpet? Listen in carefully and hear Mike doing covert research as he types out a search string into Google to check his facts. Why do things matter? How do we win? Me? I’m off to count my toys.

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This week, if you’re happy and you know it please contact Mike and Danny with details. Yes, it’s the greatest happiness for the greatest number folks. Join Mike and Danny as they decide on the minimum amount of happiness required for them to get up in the morning. What, exactly, do we have a right too? Are we really “worth it”? Listen in as Danny all but admits to speeding at 2 o’clock in the morning because, what harm can it do, right? Nod in sage wisdom as Mike shakes his head in smug condemnation. Are hazard warning lights a licence to do as you please including parking outside my local chippy blocking both lanes? Yes, listen careful to this weeks cast, it isn’t just your right it is your obligation…unless you have something better to do, I mean, there may be more worthwhile ways of spending 20 mins, who are we to say?

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This week join Dr Mike as he gives a mad axeman Danny’s exact postal address and contact details, just in case. Listen carefully and take extensive notes as Mike and Danny consider what the untestable beliefs are that ground their understanding of reality. Do we have to assume an absolute judge in order to be good guys or can we work it out as we go along? Just how fast can nonsense travel on stilts? Settle back and lightly oil yourselves down as Bentham argues for an ethic based on the happy ending principle. What is the hedonic calculus and is there an app that can be downloaded on to your phone? Hubba, hubba, hubba, who do you trust? Me, I’m giving away the categorical imperative but where is Jeremy Bentham? He’s at home, washing his pig.

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Join Mike and Danny this week as they pull up at the traffic lights and start revving the engine to show off to their mates. Stick with them as the lights change, they drop the clutch, release the breaks and the philosophical wheels start to spin. Gaze on in uncritical adoration as they screech away burning philosophical rubber to play chicken with Kant and Bentham. Who will blink first, how far will this go? Squeeze up onto the back seat, jump on the running board and live dangerously as Mike and Danny begin the journey into right, wrong, good, bad, god and beer pumps. Buckle up everyone, we aren’t insured.

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This week listen in with all due deference as Danny and Mike … no, hang on, I’m not doing this. Why should I impose a narrative on you? The cast is out there now, you make of it what you will. Look, I’ll even leave you space to construct your own blurb, enough of this authorial priority, you go to it. I’ll just sit here and watch. Away you go then. [





] There, see, not as easy as it looks is it? Oh yes, we all want to march to the beat of our own drum and throw away the rule book but then what? I’ll tell you what, it’s straight back home to mum and dad to borrow money and do your laundry. Get a job ya hippy!”

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Pst, hey, kids, do you want some po-mo? Don’t sweat it brah, this is the good stuff won’t make you go blind or nothing. No this is quality stuff and the best of it is the first hit is absolute free. Yeah, you heard us, Danny and Mike are hooking you up with the real deal and it will set…you,,,free! No more living in a world that’s already written oh no, with our high grade po-mo you can play by your own rules like it weren’t no damn thing. That’s right, it’s the hottest thing on the streets and we mean territory not some damn street map. Don’t you be fooled by none of that bogus stuff people be scamming you with, this stuff is 100% pure local, uncut with any of that meta shit. So don’t be getting all grand you dig? Put some swagger in your walk with po-mo and say “Foucault You” to the man. (Don’t do drugs, stay in school).

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This week, Mike succumbs to the pressures of the time and mentions Wittgenstein before Danny does. Listen in with mounting disappointment as Danny makes the obvious Lyotard gag - low hanging fruit bro, low hanging fruit. What is the condition of postmodernity? Who was the irritating student who suggested that the movement following postmodernism should be called post-postmodernism? Guess at the kind of grade they received for their final philosophy exam, go on, guess! Yes this week, as with every week, perception is all and incredulity stalks the streets looking for gods to dispatch. In a fair fight, who would win out of a Foucault and a Chomsky? What is your story? Do you like green eggs and ham? Where would you eat them? Here or there? Perhaps you wouldn’t eat them anywhere? Yeah Sam-I-Am, peddle your green grand narrative elsewhere we ain't buying!..well, perhaps just a bite

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This week the pressures of lockdown start to get to Danny and Mike. Listen in as their narratives begin to unravel and they appear to waffle on about anything that comes into their heads under the pretext of a postmodern disposition. Join them in their new stories or are these just the old stories seen from a different perspective? Are they absolutely right in abandoning their previous absolute convictions? Are scones and jam part of an imperialist metanarrative? Were the Tracy family philanthropists or glory seekers and where did all their money come from? All of this and whatever else you'd like to read into it is yours this week for the low low cost of 20+ minutes of your life. What would you be doing with it anyway?

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This week listen with your head cocked to one side, in a bemused and slightly suspicious way, as Mike confesses that while he loves fish and chips he has no desire to sleep with them. Raise your hand and fan you face in the wake of Danny’s confession that he built his daughter out of leftover body parts - he says that, right? Yes, wacky Wittgenstein is at it again, taking the words and phrases we love so well and making them perform for us in a Renaissance ruff while riding a unicycle. In this final episode on the great man see Ludwig leaning up against language, his leather jacket open to the waist and a tooth pick playing around his mouth - rules? He plays by his own rules.

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This week join us as Wittgenstein kicks over his Tractatus and storms out of the room declaring that he doesn't want to play that stupid game any more because it's dumb and we are all stupid and dumb. Listen in as Dr Mike responds by informing Wittgenstein that he's the stupid one and also that he smells like farts. Be amazed as Wittgenstein goes on to elaborate that sticks and stones may break his bones but words are thoughts so probably have the power to do more damage and maybe he ought to have thought that response through. Stare on in mute admiration as Danny attempts to break this up declaring that there are plenty of other games we can play and that Dr. Mike and Wittgenstein are both being stupid and should make it up. Yes folks it's philosophical homeschooling and only the righteous will survive to tell the tale.

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