Oh man, Zak and I have really done it now. We've UNLOCKED the vault that holds ESPN's SUPER SECRET PHINNECKY RANKINGS and are just reading them for everyone to hear! And we don't stop there! We also dive into secret documents that include which laws were voted into Phinnecky, which laws were drunkenly changed in Phinnecky on a whim, why is Zak in the car, what does the latest Madden'26 algorithm think happens to Lamar Jackson and, most importantly, WHAT IS THE SECRET OF ALEX SINGLETON?!